I Love You More than Myself Part One
by AnMXD
Summary: Marauder era - The complete love story of Remus and Tonks! Read the intro first, it gives a better summary! I know it's long.. But i think it'll be worth it if you're a fan of Remus and Tonks! The beginning is a little rough, I need to go back and fix it since it was my first go at writing. Please check it out! ALSO this is part one, part two is being written now! :)
1. Introduction Please Read!

Helloo people who are actually taking the time to read this short introduction and really, I applaud you for reading this, for this will clear up some information.

So I know all of you are well aware that Remus and Tonks are NOT the same age (13 years difference) but me, being the huge fan I am, came up with a more unique storyline, one I've rarely seen before. What if they went to Hogwarts together?

Now, I know many of you will take this story as complete rubbish. But don't. Please have an open mind when reading this story. What if Tonks was friends with James and Sirius? What if Lily was her best friend? What if Sirius and Tonks had no idea that they were related? Please, just think "what if" in this kind of situation.

So, to all of you who are actually going to open your mind to my ideas, I hope you really enjoy it. I love Remus and Tonks. They are my favorite characters along with James and Sirius. I mean, come on, who doesn't love James and Sirius? ;)

I'm currently in the process of rewriting the earlier chapters because I know they are pretty rough. It was my first go at writing ever, and now that I have a grip on the whole idea, I believe it's time to go back and do a little correcting!

So, if you are new to this story, I hope you really enjoy it! It's been my life for about a year now, and I would love if you could leave a review and such. And thanks to all of you who have already been with me. It's the best feeling in the world to have support for something I care so much about. (:

~AnM


	2. Chapter 1

Nymphadora. Nymphadora. What a horrible name.

I've always hated my name. But I guess it's better than my older brother's. Sasha Tonks. I don't know what my parents were thinking when they named my brother Sasha. Now that I think about it, my parents have unique names as well. Andromeda and Ted. I guess they gave us odd names as a way of revenge for having been given odd names as well. Thank God, we have one person in the household with a normal name. My other older brother, Aaron Tonks. That's not too bad, is it?

I'm the baby of the family. Only ten years old and more than excited to start my first year at Hogwarts. It's something I've been looking forward to since I was small. Always hearing fantastic stories about this magical place, far away that only older kids can go to. And, I'll admit I've been really jealous. I used to have temper tantrums to my mother because I didn't think it was fair that I couldn't go to Hogwarts with Sasha and Aaron.

"I should get to go, too!" I would cry, stomping my little feet against the tiled kitchen floor. "I'm big enough! I can do it!"

"Honey," my mother would croon, pulling me into her warm embrace, where my little body fit perfectly. "It'll be your time eventually. Just be patient."

My mother is a very beautiful lady. Her dark brown hair and eyes always made me think of a mystery. She has deep smile lines around her mouth and a very thin, lank frame. I've seen pictures of her in her youth, such as her wedding photo. Her arm wrapped around my father's, smiling and waving, looking like a goddess in her white dress. Ever since I was small, I've always wanted to grow up to be like my mother. I wanted to look like her, live like her, have a husband who loves me as much as my dad loves her.

But, as I've grown, my attention has changed from my mother to my brothers. She is always there, my rock, keeping me true to who I am, but has definitely been put on the back burner due to my obsession with growing up.

When Sasha went to Hogwarts five years ago, I honestly thought I would miss him. He's my oldest brother, the perfect image of what someone would want to grow up to be. Tall, handsome, smart, and responsible. Well, I was wrong about missing him. I still had Aaron to deal with and trust me, Aaron isn't very fun to deal with when he's bored. He's more of the problem child, almost a mirror image of my father, the complete opposite of Sasha. In comparison to Sasha's light, honey colored hair, always styled up and perfect, Aaron has black hair, almost always hanging in his eyes. He's stronger than Sasha, short and more built, almost like a bull. Surprisingly, I get along better with Aaron. Sasha always seems to be reprimanding us, keeping us in line.

Then, when Aaron went, two years after Sasha, I got jealous, and very, very lonely. I was jealous that my two big brothers got to go off to school to learn magic and I had to stay home and do nothing with my mum. Those two years were more boring than anything I've ever experienced in my life. It was always exciting when my brothers would come home during the holidays, and I got a break from my boredom. But, before I knew it, my happiness would be stolen as they went back to school, and I would go back to my banal daily life, dreaming about what it would be like to be off at Hogwarts.

But this year, it's my turn! It's finally my year to leave the nest and travel off to Hogwarts, learning magic, making friends and memories. Aaron told me it's been the best two years of his life, and he can't wait to start his third.

Sasha is almost done with his time at Hogwarts, going into his fifth year top of his class and a prefect of Gryffindor house. My parents couldn't have been more proud of him the day he got his letter announcing his new position of prefect. Aaron just rolled his eyes, and left the living room to get a drink from the kitchen. When I asked him why he acted the way he did later, he explained that prefects are the worst. They patrol the corridors, yelling at you for anything, taking points from your house and giving you detention. I didn't know how to respond to his statement, so I didn't answer, slipping from his room and back into mine.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

It is the morning of August 28th, 1971. My parents always wait last minute to go Hogwarts shopping, dragging us all out of bed early to beat the rush in Diagon Alley. Why they do this, I couldn't tell you, but it's been tradition ever since Sasha's first year.

I'll admit, waking up is hard. I've never been a morning person, always the night owl of the family. I drag myself downstairs, still half asleep, and slide into my seat at the breakfast table.

"Good morning, Dora," my father says, ruffling my hair affectionately.

"'Morning," I mutter, watching as my mother slides a plate of eggs in front of me. I immediately start eating, savoring the goodness of my mother's food. I realize, as I'm eating, that I won't be eating my mother's cooking for long while in a few days. I'm not worried, though, Aaron told me the food at Hogwarts is fabulous.

"Good morning, all," Sasha says, taking a seat opposite me. "You ready, Tonks?"

"I was born ready," I reply saucily, smiling over at him. He gives me a half smile before turning to his plate.

"Mum, why do we have to get up so early?" Aaron whines, entering the kitchen and taking a seat next to me.

"Because, Aaron," my mother says, sliding sausage onto his plate. "I don't want to be caught in crowds all day. I want to get in and out as fast as possible."

"Okay, okay," Aaron says, acting as any grumpy thirteen year-old would.

After I'm done eating breakfast, I excuse myself from the table and steal away to my room, getting dressed and standing in front of the mirror, just staring at my reflection.

"What hairstyle am I gonna go for today…?" I mutter to myself. I try short and curly, I try straight blonde shoulder-length, but eventually go for wavy waist-length hair. I keep it my natural mousy brown, but I don't see anything wrong with that. It's something I don't usually do, something my mother doesn't particularly like. She prefers me to be natural, when I prefer to have different hair colors, such as ginger, blonde, black, etc.

My brothers have always envied me for being a Metamorphagus. I honestly enjoy it; it makes me unique, it makes me who I am. When I was little, it took me a while to get used to being able to change my appearance at will. I used to use it to fool my mother and father. I would morph myself to look like the other parent and do all kinds of things. I once got my mum to buy me a toy broom because my dad said I should get one for 'being such a good kid.' I never heard the end of it when she found out.

After I decide on my hair, I hurry downstairs and pull on my trainers. I get up, trip, then continue my way into the living room where my family is passing around the floo powder pot.

"Sasha, you go first," my mum instructs, handing him the pot. "Don't forget to be back at the Leaky Cauldron at 2 two o'clock!"

"I promise I wont forget," Sasha said with a small smile, taking a handful of powder and passing the pot back to my mother. "I promise to keep this one out of trouble as well." He motions to Aaron.

"Where's the fun with that?" Aaron mutters, standing with my father's hands on his shoulders.

"You better behave Aaron, or no new broom. And that means no Quidditch this year." my father warns, pulling him to the side so he can glare down at him.

"Pfft. Fine," Aaron says, rolling his eyes. My mother sighs in exasperation.

"See you at two, dear," she says as Sasha throws the powder into the fireplace, yells "Diagon Alley!" and spins out of sight.

"I'll go next," Aaron says, stepping up and taking a handful of powder.

"No mischief, Aaron," my father warns.

"No mischief, Dad," Aaron assures with a tip of the head, and does the same as Sasha.

After we watch Aaron disappear, my mum goes, then me, then my dad. While Aaron and Sasha get to shop with their friends, I have to shop with my parents. I fee like a complete and total loser walking down Diagon Alley between my mother and father.

We get my wand from Olivander's, we get my books from Flourish and Blot's, we get my quills, and cauldron. We get potion ingredients, robes, and parchment. We get everything a first year could possibly need. We are exhausted, and ready to go home.

My first ever trip to Diagon Alley for _me_ is complete. I feel like a big kid, walking down the street with my wand box and other parcels. I can see it now, me learning _magic_ with this very wand. I guess you could say I'm in my own little world.

As we're walking back toward the Leaky Cauldron to meet Sasha and Aaron, two boys run right through us in the direction of the ice cream shop. I get pushed into my mum and my dad gets pushed into a little old wizard walking down the street.

"Hey!" my dad calls after the boys. They slowly turn around to look at us, both wearing mischievous grins. One boy has round glasses and dark, messy hair. The other has bright grey eyes and crazy curly hair.

"Sorry mister," the boy with glasses says, clearly not sorry for what just occurred, but feeling obliged to say sorry anyways.

"Watch where your going!" my mother scolds, looking at them with terrible dislike. "Where are your parents?"

"Umm… well, my parents aren't here. Sorry can't help ya," the curly-haired kid says, looking expectantly over at his mate.

"Mine are, uh, just in that shop over there, waiting for us," the bespectled boy says, jerking his head towards the ice cream shop. "We're going to meet them now."

"Ugh," my father says, dusting off his robes. "Run along, kids."

They smirk at each other and run off. That wouldn't be the last time I saw those mischievous smirks.

Hope you enjoyed! Please review!(:

xoxo

XXXXXXXXXXXX

_**Updated**_

Wow was that chapter in need of a repair! I think it's a lot better now! Agree? Disagree?

Thanks to all of you who are just starting out, and to those of you rereading the updated version! (:


	3. Chapter 2

It was finally here. The big day. The day I got to go to Hogwarts.

This morning was another early morning at the Tonks household. All three kids were scrambling around, trying to find all their supplies, trying to eat a little bit of breakfast, trying to make sure not a thing was forgotten. At 10:15, we clambered into the family car and drove off to King's Cross.

"Are you excited Nymphadora?" my mother asked, turning around in her seat to look at me.

"Yeah mum, why wouldn't I be?" I asked, half laughing.

"Oh, I don't know. Just wanted to be sure that you weren't nervous," she said, turning back around to face the front.

"Mum, I've been waiting for this for five whole years! I'm not nervous!" I said, giggling.

"Yeah, well I would be more nervous about the train ride than anything," Aaron said, looking me in the eye.

"Why should I be nervous about a train ride?" I asked, almost sure he was joking.

"Well, not the train ride itself, but who you sit with," he explained. "You see, whoever you sit with on your first ride to Hogwarts is destined to be your friends for the rest of your school years, maybe even for life. It happened to me and Sasha. I'm still friends with the people I sat with back when I was a first year."

"Me too," Sasha said, nodding.

"Is this true, Dad?" I asked.

"Well, actually it is, Dora," he said, looking at me in the rearview mirror. "So you better choose wisely."

"Told you," Aaron said, rolling his eyes.

"Whatever," I said, slumping back against the seat. I just wanted to get there already.

About fifteen minutes later, we pulled into King's Cross with ten minutes to spare. My dad got us all carts that we loaded our trunks onto, and pushed them into King's Cross and onto Platform 9 ¾. My dad helped all of us get our trunks onto the luggage cart so we wouldn't have to worry about them while we were riding. Then we walked back to say our goodbyes.

"Be a good girl this year, Nymphadora. Study hard and write every week," my mother said, smiling. "I'm so happy for you. I'm so proud and excited." She wrapped me into a large, warm embrace.

"I'll miss you a lot, Dora," my father said, almost teary-eyed. I gave him a hug then stepped back to look at them for one last time.

"Have fun kids!" my mum yelled at us as we boarded the train. We waved and smiled as it pulled out of the station and into rural England.

"Well, good luck on finding some friends, kid," Aaron said, ruffling shoulder-length ginger hair. "Ps. I like this hairstyle on you."

"Thanks a lot, Aaron," I said, sarcastically. Then he walked away.

"Good luck, Tonks," Sasha said, walking off in the direction of the prefect's compartment.

I sighed and started walking in the opposite direction of him. Most of the compartments were full yet there were still a lot of students wandering the halls. As I walked into my fourth train car, I felt something like being hit by a brick wall. I stumbled into a compartment with the door hanging open and I was not happy. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw my hair turning a dangerous, fiery, red.

"Hey! Watch where your going!" I yelled as I stood up. I looked into the face of the offender. It was a huge kid who looked as mean as they could get. He was probably going into his 6th or 7th year. He had dark, cruel eyes and a blonde buzz cut.

"Watch where your going shrimp! I think I - woah. What happened to your hair?" he asked, cocking an eyebrow.

"Never mind you!" I said, slamming the compartment door in his face and pulling down the screen so I couldn't see his black eyes anymore. I took a few deep breaths trying to calm myself down. My hair turned back to it's delightful ginger color. I then realized that there were already people in this compartment. I turned around slowly, embarrassed.

"I'm so sorry. I have no idea what came over me," I said, panting slightly.

"No I think that was brilliant!" someone said.

I looked up and saw who was sitting in this compartment. I couldn't believe it when I saw two identical mischievous smirks looking up at me. It was the two boys from Diagon Alley. The boy with glasses and the curly haired kid. There was also a third passenger in this compartment.

He had light brown hair, that fell slightly onto his face. His eyes were the most beautiful shade of amber there ever was. He looked very kind and gentle. He didn't wear the same mischievous smirk as the other two boys in the compartment. He looked up at me with a slight grin on his face. I had to look away because I knew I was staring.

Hold on. Common Tonks. Your ten (almost eleven) years old! Why are blushing so much over this boy? He's just a boy right? Eleven year olds don't go on dates. Why are you so attracted to him? Well, later experiences would tell me.

"I'm James by the way," the boy with glasses said, holding out his hand. It took me a minute to get back to reality.

"N-Nice to meet you," I said, shaking his hand.

"Sirius Black," the curly haired kid said, holding out his hand as well, when I shook it, he shook back vigorously. "Might I say that was brilliant."

"Thanks," I said, smiling a little bit, eager to know the stranger's name.

"Remus Lupin," the shabby-looking kid said, softly. He looked shy and nervous. He was also blushing.

I held out my hand and he shook it. As I shook it, I noticed another feature about him. Something not so great.

He had scars all over his face and hands. They were kind of faint but you could still notice them. It was if an animal of some sort had attacked him. There were even a few open wounds. My smile faded a little.

"You can sit with us if you'd like," the boy named Sirius said.

I turned around and said "Alright, if you insist."

"Well, we do, because you are brilliant," the boy named James said. "Hey, I've seen you at Diagon Alley, haven't I?"

"Yeah, you pretty much knocked over my entire family," I said with a chuckle, settling myself down next to Remus.

"Yeah… sorry about that," Sirius said.

"It's fine, don't worry," I said, smiling. "So I'm guessing you've known each other for more than only a day."

"Yeah, I've known James for about two years now," Sirius said, looking at James. "Hate my own family so I invade their's"

I laughed.

"We only met Remus this morning though," James said. "Glad we did. And were glad we met you."

James and Sirius smiled at me. I looked sideways at Remus, who was trying to suppress a smile and was blushing madly.

Hope you liked the addition of the character of Remus! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW! Sooooo important to review!

xoxo


	4. Chapter 3

I soon came to realize I really enjoyed the boys company. They were the funniest people I had ever met, and really had some charm to them. I fit in really well with them and I felt that they really liked me too.

Remus, as I had predicted, was very shy. He only spoke once or twice and when he did, he didn't look up. He wouldn't look at me either. I wondered why he was blushing so much. James and Sirius seem to notice this too, but didn't say anything.

Since there was one girl and three guys, when it came time to change into our uniforms, I left and got dressed in the bathroom while the boys dressed in the compartment. I really liked my uniform. I felt so grownup.

When I got back to the compartment with my hands full of my street clothes, I almost opened the door. Then I heard my name.

"So what do you guys think of that Tonks girl?" I heard Sirius ask.

"She's really funny. I like her a lot," James said, shrugging.

I pressed my ear closer to door.

"I like her A LOT," Sirius said. "She's hot."

"Sirius, you just met her," James said, laughing.

"Yeah! But she's also funny and a rebel and I like that. She's also hot," Sirius replied.

"Well I don't think you're the only one who was attracted to her," James said. There was silence for a moment. "What do you think of Tonks, Remus?"

"Umm… Well. She's nice," he said. I could imagine him blushing.

"That's not all you think," James said.

"Okay, she's really pretty. I said it," Remus said quietly.

"Awwe is that why you were blushing?" Sirius asked.

"You thought she was pretty too!" Remus said, defensively.

"Objection. I said she was hot," Sirius said, blatantly.

"Whatever. You like her too," Remus said.

"You like her?" James asked.

"What is this, twenty questions? Yes I like her," he added the last part quietly.

"We should set them up," James said.

"No, I want to try her out first," Sirius said.

"Guys, this is ridiculous," Remus said, agitated.

"No, this is women talk, Remus. Something I love," Sirius said, chuckling.

"Your eleven bloody years old!" Remus said, exasperated.

"Woah, language, buddy," James said.

"Whatever," Remus said. I heard a thump. I imagined him throwing himself down on a seat.

"Okay I was joking, Remus," James said. "And you two are NOT going to fight over this girl."

"Fine. Whoever she likes better gets her," Sirius said.

"Just let her decide," Remus said.

"Good. Truce?" Sirius asked.

"Truce," Remus said.

"Anyways," James said, trying to diffuse the tension in the compartment. "Where did you get those scars, Remus?"

There was suddenly a very awkward, cold silence.

"Umm… Fell down a hill a few weeks ago. Uh… Got all cut up," he said, quietly.

"Sucks to be you, mate," Sirius said.

"I'm okay with it though," Remus said quickly.

"Well, that's good," James said. "Sorry if I was intruding your privacy."

"You weren't," Remus said.

Silence.

I decided to stop eavesdropping and walked back into the compartment. I had heard enough.

Hope you enjoyed the short dialogue scene! Please review!

xoxo


	5. Chapter 4

I opened the compartment door and stepped in. All eyes turned to look up at me. Sirius hadn't buttoned his shirt all the way and James didn't even have shoes on.

"Bloody hell, Tonks," Sirius said, hurriedly buttoning his shirt.

"What were you doing while I was gone? Geez it took you longer to get ready than a girl!" I said, laughing.

"We had a few topics to discuss, for your information," James said, grinning up at me.

"And… They were?" I said, looking between the two of them.

"Nothing in particular," James said, looking down to tie his shoe.

"You can tell me…" I said, throwing myself down on the seat behind me. I felt Remus shift in his seat. I looked over at him and he blushed and looked away.

"No we really can't," Sirius said, chuckling, tying his tie.

"Whatever," I said, sighing. I took a look out the window. "Hey, were almost there!"

I pointed out the window at the castle looming in the distance. It was gorgeous even in the darkness. It had too many towers to count, hundreds of lighted windows, and a beautiful black lake. It was surrounded by miles and miles of green forests.

"Isn't that the most beautiful thing you've ever seen?" I said, my face pressed against the glass of the train window, gazing up at it in awe.

"It is," I heard a soft musical voice speak next me. I turned to my right and saw Remus looking up next to me. He was staring fixedly up at the castle with a look upon his face of pure joy. I couldn't help but smile. The light from the castle illuminated his face, making his scars very predominant. It was almost a pity.

The train chugged along for a few more minutes before pulling into Hogsmeade station. Everyone was pushing to get off the train, obviously dreaming about the feast and a nice warm bed. Me, being pretty small, got pushed around a lot. Once we got onto the platform, I started listening for the thing Sasha and Aaron told me to listen for. The sound of the gamekeeper, Hagrid's, voice.

"Firs' years! O'er here! Firs' years follow me!"

Me, James, Sirius, and Remus pushed along through the group, trying to get to Hagrid. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the big blonde haired kid who had tripped me earlier, push his way past my group.

"Move along, you franky first-years," he said, slamming himself into me, causing me to stumble. I felt a hand reach out and catch me so I wouldn't fall.

"Watch it!" I yelled after him.

"In your dreams!" he yelled back.

"Ugh. Jerk," I said, brushing myself off and turning around to see who had caught me. "Hey thanks… Remus."

He let go of my forearm and blushed. "It was nothing. Didn't want you to fall."

"Well… uh. Thanks… for that," I said. I might have been blushing myself.

After that brief moment of awkwardness, we moved along and got ourselves settled in a boat along with another boy. He was short and fat with watery blue eyes and blonde hair. He introduced himself as Peter Pettigrew.

I sat next to Remus and both of us were gazing up at the approaching castle. I couldn't take my eyes off it. It was like a dream. The boat ride was too short and we were docking our boats on the other side of the lake in no time. I wanted more time to stare at the castle and the surrounding areas.

We were met by a witch who told us her name was Professor McGonagall. Aaron had told me about her. He told me she was very strict. He had gotten in trouble enough times to know.

We silently followed her though the castle and then formed us into two lines right outside what I assumed was the Great Hall. I looked around nervously, wondering what house I was going to be sorted in. Sasha and Aaron were both in Gryffindor. I hope I would uphold the family tradition and be in Gryffindor as well.

As we walked up between the tables full of hungry older students, I couldn't help but feel that I was getting judged. I caught a look of Aaron and Sasha on my way to the front of the hall. Aaron grinned and gave a thumbs up. Sasha smiled and waved, his prefect's badge gleaming proudly on his chest.

Professor McGonagall pulled out a stool and a ragged old hat that could only be the sorting hat. And the sorting began. She called a long list of student's names. I knew I was going to be almost last. Having a last name that began with a T makes you last all the time.

I watched Sirius, Remus, James, and Peter all get sorted into Gryffindor. I wanted to be sorted into Gryffindor very badly. Finally, she called:

"Nymphadora Tonks."

A small laugh went through the entire student body. I was embarrassed. I hated my name, but I got up and sat down on the stool regardless. The hat was put down over my eyes and all I saw was blackness.

"Hmmm.. A good heart. Wants to do big things in the future. Very brave. Courageous," a voice in my ear said. I held my breath than heard : "GRYFFINDOR!"

I breathed a sigh of relief. The hat was taken off my head and I ran to the Gryffindor table. I heard my brothers cheering loudly for me, along with the boys from the train. I ran along the table until I found them and Sirius made a spot for me between him and Remus.

"Nice one, Tonks," he said, giving me a high-five. I was beaming. Remus turned to me and patted me on the back, grinning from ear to ear.

As I sat there, enjoying the rest of the sorting, I thought about the conversation I heard earlier on the train. Remus and Sirius both liked me. I mean liked liked me. I took a look at Remus, then at Sirius, then back to Remus and sighed. I had some time to figure it out though… I was only eleven.. Well ten. Even better. I smiled to myself at this thought.

Hope you enjoyed! Please review! I love reviews!

xoxo


	6. Chapter 5

Just thought I would take the time to say thanks so everyone who read and reviewed this! It makes my day when my phone buzzes and I have a new email about this story I love(: Please keep reviewing! Tell me what you like and don't like! It would help tremendously!(:

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

After the sorting was finished, Professor Dumbledore, the headmaster, stood up at his podium and took a long, sweeping look at his students, smiling.

"Welcome everyone! Welcome to a new year at Hogwarts! I hope everyone is excited to start a new term… I know I am. Now for those who don't know me, well, the first years, I am Professor Dumbledore, previous teacher of Transfiguration class until last term. Professor McGonagall has taken over that post for me and I know she will do a lovely job. I took over for Professor Dippet over the summer. I hope there will be no issues with this transaction from headmaster to headmaster but I'm sure all of you will graciously be there for me if needed. We are going to go through this together," he took a moment to smile out at his audience.

I heard a few murmurs through the hall at the prospect of a new headmaster. How was he going to hold up? Was he going to be as good as Headmaster Dippet was? No one knew for certain. As Professor Dumbledore had said, we are going through it together.

"Now, along with a new headmaster and Transfiguration teacher, there is also a new addition to the Hogwarts grounds. A rare tree called a Whomping Willow was planted on the school grounds over the summer. As you can probably gather from the name of the tree itself, this tree can harm you in many nasty ways. It is okay to be curious. Just make sure you are safe. I would suggest not going near this tree any farther than you need to. Which I hope you don't have to go near it at all. We don't want anyone getting hurt."

For some odd reason, I felt Remus shift uncomfortably in his seat next to me. I turned to look at him and he wasn't looking up at Professor Dumbledore. He was looking down into his hands that were folded in his lap. He looked ashamed. I couldn't figure out why.

I had totally drowned out Professor Dumbledore for the past ten minutes examining Remus. I was suddenly yanked away from my thoughts when I heard everyone getting up from their benches and making their way to the doors out of the hall.

"You coming Tonks?" I heard James call. I was startled. I looked around and all four of the boys had gotten up and were looking at me.

"Yeah. Sorry. Lost in my own thoughts. Haha," I said, standing up and following the boys out of the hall.

The castle was magnificent. I was constantly looking around at everything there was to see on our journey up to Gryffindor tower. I wasn't paying attention to where I was walking so I ended up tripping quite a few times. James and Sirius were nearly on the floor laughing by the time we made it up to Gryffindor tower, where we were met by Sasha, the prefect.

"Hey, Dora," he said, acknowledging me as I approached. "Glad to see you found some friends."

"You make it sound like I have no friends, Sash," I said.

"Just looking out for my baby sis," he said, patting my back.

"This is your brother, Tonks?" James asked.

"Yes I am. And who are you?" Sasha said, eyeing up the boys.

"James Potter," James said, shaking Sasha's hand.

"Sirius Black, at your service," Sirius said, mocking a captain saluting his soldiers.

"Remus Lupin," Remus said, looking up and Sasha. Sasha shook his hand but kept examining Remus. I don't know why. Peter didn't say anything so James introduced him.

"And this is Peter Pettigrew. Must be too shy to introduce himself. Huh Peter?"

"Um. Yeah," he said, not looking up.

"So literate," Sirius said, smirking. "It's really too much for me to handle."

"So there you have it," I said, looking back at Sasha.

"Nice group of friends you got there kid," he said, smiling at them all again. "Saw Aaron a few minutes ago with his friends. You might see him if you hurry up."

"I saw enough of Aaron over the summer," I said, laughing.

"Well, okay. The password is 'Hippogriff.'" Sasha said, with a tip of the head. "I have to wait here until all the Gryffindors get in."

"That sucks," I said, shaking my head. "Well, thanks Sash. Have a good night."

"You too, Dora."

We walked into the common room and I was blown away. It had to be the coziest room I had ever seen. It had a blazing fire, dozens of armchairs and couches, big windows, and more bookshelves than you could count.

"Welcome home," James said, walking around the circular room.

"Your right," Sirius said. "This is home."

I was too late to see Aaron, which I was okay with. We decided that we really needed to get to bed. So we walked to the staircase that split the dorms up. There was a small landing that looked out over the rest of the common room. Then it spilt up into a boy's spiral staircase and a girl's spiral staircase. I bid the boys goodnight and walked up the girl's staircase. I came to a long hallway. The first door on my left had a sign that said:

First Year Girls

I pushed open the door and looked inside. There were five beds in a circular room. If you looked out the windows, you could see everything. It had a fantastic view. It was very nice and cozy. I loved it from first glance. I then noticed four other girls in the room. There was a girl with long blonde curly hair and a smug face. There was a girl who had long brown curly hair and a mellow face. Her and the blonde girl could've been twins with different hair colors. The blonde one looked meaner.

On the other side of the room, there was a beautiful looking girl with gorgeous ginger hair that fell a little past her shoulders and she had a kind face. To be honest, I was a little jealous. This girl was everything I ever wanted to be. Next to her, was a girl with short black hair, who looked very shy. I had no idea what to make of these girls. All I knew is that I would have to live with them for seven years.

"Hullo," I said, looking around the room. The ginger haired girl was the first to respond.

"Hello! How nice to see you! Nymphadora, right?" she said, coming over to me and smiling.

"Um yeah. How did you know?" I said, chuckling a little.

"Well, your name is on your trunk," she said, jesturing to my trunk that lay at the foot of my bed.

"Oh… I see. Well I prefer to be called Tonks, actually," I said, looking back to the girl.

"Oh! I'm so sorry!" she said, looking disappointed.

"No it's fine, honestly. An honest mistake," I said, smiling at her. She had to be the nicest person I had ever met.

"My name is Lily. Lily Evans," she said, holding out her hand for me to shake it. I shook it. "That over there," she said, pointing to the black haired girl, "is Lydia."

"Hullo, Lydia," I said, looking over at her. She said hello back but not much after that. She must've been very shy.

"And that," Lily said, pointing to the brown haired girl, "is May."

"Hullo," I said, looking at May. She looked up and acknowledged me, but didn't say anything back.

"And that," Lily said, obviously unhappy about this last girl, "is Scarlet."

"Um. Hi, Scarlet," I said, looking over at her. She didn't even look over. There was an awkward silence for a few minutes.

"Okay… well, welcome to first year girls, Tonks," Lily said, smiling. I liked her a lot. She was very nice and you could tell she was like this all the time by the way she smiled. It was as if I had known her forever, yet I met her five minutes ago.

As I was unpacking, I had a lot going through my head of the day that had just occurred. I had left my home. I went off to school, just like my two big brothers before me. I had fought a boy much older and bigger than me. I had met three great guys that were totally cool and funny. I been sorted into Gryffindor house. I had met all these girls that I would have to share a space with for seven years. Now I was laying in my very warm and comfortable bed. I couldn't help but think more of the conversation I had heard earlier. Who did I like better? Soft and gentle Remus Lupin? Or obnoxious and hilarious Sirius Black? I'm sure I would have to decide one day. And that day will come. Even if I don't want it to.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Thanks for reading! Please review!(: Love all the reviews I have gotten!

xoxo


	7. Chapter 6

Over the next few weeks, I became very close to the boys. Well, Remus, James, and Sirius. I really didn't feel any connection with Peter, but the other boys seemed to like him, so he tagged along. I hung out with them all day and into the evening. They were funny, mischievous, and great to hang around with. I felt that they accepted me, even though I was a girl. We would do homework together in front of the fire every night.

To be honest, the classes weren't very difficult. They were very straightforward and easy to pick up. Me and Remus were probably doing the best in our group of friends. Sirius knew what was going on, but just didn't give enough effort to get good grades. James needed a lot of help and explanations, which usually fell to being my job. Remus helped me occasionally, but Sirius usually distracted him. And then there was Peter. To be honest, Peter sucked. I don't know how he wasn't in tutoring. But, nonetheless, he was part of the group.

I also became very close to Lily and Lydia. After you got past that Lydia was so shy, she was really a fun person to be around. I would stay up late at night, talking with Lily and Lydia. I didn't hang out with them much during the day because, well, Lily didn't like James and Sirius. Which is understandable. A lot of people didn't like James and Sirius. You had to be pretty special to be able to deal with those two.

Remus was a different story. Now, don't get me wrong, I like Remus a lot. But he was just a bit odd. It seemed that every few weeks, he would get sick. He would be tired and fatigued and slept most of the day. While we would do homework, he would be sacked out on the couch. He always ended up going to the hospital wing one night, maybe even more! It was weird, because after awhile, I noticed that his visit to the hospital wing was always around the same time of each month. I didn't get it. But I didn't have the courage to ask him about it. What if he had some disease he didn't want to tell us about? I would feel like a complete jerk if I asked him about it and he was self conscious.

But on the other hand, he was a great person. He was very, very smart and fun to be around. Although he was quiet and liked to read, he was very funny. You had to listen to him very closely to get his jokes though. He was very handsome by the way. When he looked at me with those deep amber eyes, I got lost. His hair was always falling slightly into his face which gave him some charm. The scars that covered his face and hands were always noticeable. But after a while, I got used to them. I liked him a lot as I said earlier. But I didn't know if it was as a best friend or as a boyfriend yet.

My birthday wasn't a very big occasion. I got a card and a present from mum and dad, a present from Sasha and Aaron, and cards from my friends. I spent the day with the boys, doing nothing in particular. I felt pretty special now that I was eleven.

Fall blew into winter and soon, I had to make the decision on whether to stay at Hogwarts over Christmas or go home. The boys were all staying here for Christmas, minus Peter. As I heard it, his mum was making him come home. Lily and Lydia were also going home for Christmas, but my mum was letting me decide. Sasha and Aaron had decided to go home, having already experienced Christmas at Hogwarts. It was a tough decision, but I decided to stay at Hogwarts with my friends.

Since we were eleven years old and didn't have any money, we decided that we weren't going to get each other presents. I was okay with that, because, well, I didn't have any money. Zilch. None. Nada. I guess being with each other was a good enough present.

The morning came when I awoke and was the only one in my dorm. Lily, Lydia, May, and Scarlet (who might I say, is a huge pain in the arse) were gone. I felt lonely as I got up and pulled on my uniform. But the feeling didn't last long because as soon as I walked downstairs, I was greeted by the boys.

"Morning sleeping beauty," Sirius called, from his spot where he was lounging on the couch. "You like to sleep in, don't you?"

"Who doesn't like to sleep in?" I said, throwing myself down next to his feet.

"Well, it's finally break and we finally get to do whatever we want!" James said, commanding one of his chessmen to move forward. Remus's piece totally destroyed him.

"Remus, really?" James said, looking up at his friend.

"Hey, it's the name of the game," he said, cheekily, collecting James's broken knight from the board.

I chuckled and watched those two play chess for a good half hour. We seemed to be the only first years left in Gryffindor, which I found odd. Why not spend your first Christmas at Hogwarts? There were a few other Gryffindors in the common room but not many showed up throughout the day.

We hung out and played chess and played Gobstones and all the other games you play when you have nothing better to do. I was really enjoying the time off, not worrying about classes or teachers or homework. Just friends, good spirit, and Christmas.

The day finally arrived. Christmas Eve. I woke up early that morning, much to James and Sirius's happiness.

"Tonks, look at you, getting up all early," James said, complimenting me at my early arrival to the common room.

"I got up just for you two," I said, chuckling.

We spent the day eating, hanging around, and having an epic snowball fight. It was me and Remus against James and Sirius. Unfortunately, James and Sirius whooped mine and Remus's butts, and they won the bragging rights. After we were finished with the snowball fight, we had to hurry back inside the castle to get all cleaned up and ready for Christmas Eve dinner in the Great Hall.

We walked down through the castle, with our best outfits on and our stomachs growling.

"I'm so hungry I could eat a cow," Sirius complained.

"I'm so hungry I could eat a Sirius," James said, laughing.

"You guys…" I said, rolling my eyes.

When we arrived at the Great Hall, it was all decked out for the holidays. It was really a beautiful sight. It had twelve huge Christmas trees covered in snow and golden ornaments, holly and tinsel from every available surface, and snow softly falling from the enchanted ceiling. There was one long table set out. There was no need for five tables with so little people. Even the staff sat at this table.

It was a glorious feast. Everything was cooked to perfection. There were dozens of turkeys and chickens, puddings and pies, along with every other holiday food. I stuffed myself and I felt guilty after word. But I ate nothing compared to the boys. They ate almost the whole table. I couldn't help but laugh.

After the feast, Dumbledore stood up, wished us a Merry Christmas and sent us off to bed.

Sitting in the Gryffindor common room, digesting our meals, we started talking about Christmas traditions. It was quite funny to hear all of the crazy things that James and Sirius had done around the holidays in the past. I was so full and so happy and content, I fell asleep on the couch next to Remus, who was sleeping there also. Well, come to think of it, we all slept downstairs on Christmas Eve night, together.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Thanks for reading! Sorry for the delay in this chapter! I was writing it when I was writing my last chapter but I was tired and sleepy and it wasn't any good so some revisions were made! Sorry this one was kind of boring. I don't want to drag the story out.

Also what do you guys think of me making a twitter to go along with this story? My schedule has become very busy with the new year so maybe this twitter will help so you don't feel lost when nothing is up for a while! Give me your thoughts! (:

Keep reviewing PLEASEE!

xoxo


	8. Chapter 7

Hello people! So… a few announcements before we begin!(:

1. I actually started the twitter account! I have 3 followers I think…? So please, if you like this story and are interested in when a new chapter will be out, please follow me! (link to my twitter account on my profile screen. Click above)

2. Some questions need to be answered! One of the questions was:

Do Tonks and Sirius know they are related/are they related? The answer is no and yes. They have no idea that they are related and will not know until *SPOILER ALERT* they are out of school, a few weeks before Sirius goes to Azkaban. There is a method to my madness. (:

Also, am I going to have any other couples in the fic? Of course! That's how the story goes right? James/Lily will be in this, but WAAAY later (7th year). I don't want to give everything away but there will be many other couples!

Side-note: there were some comments about Sirius' age in relation to girls. Well my answer is: HE IS SIRIUS. That should clear everything up.(:

Thanks to all of you who have stuck with me during this busy time! My rehearsals are in full swing and I'm up doing homework until 11:30 and having to get up at 5:30 isn't fun!

ENJOY! (please review!)

"TONKS! TONKS! WAKE UP! IT'S CHRISTMAS!" was what I woke up to. Sirius and James were jumping on couches, yelling their heads off.

"What are you, two?" I said, sitting up and rubbing my eyes. I looked over at the other end of my couch and saw Remus laying with a pillow over his head. He sat up, and looked groggily at his two friends.

"Would you calm down?" he exclaimed, throwing himself back down on the couch.

"Oh common, Remus, you know you love it," Sirius said, who momentarily stopped jumping.

"Yeah he does!" James exclaimed. "Sirius, let's see if we can switch couches!"

"Oh, yeah right! Let's do it!" Sirius said, a manic gleam in his eye.

"Um… no! This is going to end badly!" I said, looking between the two of them.

"Ready? On three! One…" James counted.

I tried to stop them one last time to no avail.

"Two…" James counted again. I covered my eyes. Then I heard:

"THREE!" and two large thumps. It took me a moment to uncover my eyes. When I opened them, James was on the other side of the room as his couch and Sirius had landed on the coffee table.

"Boys…" I said, standing and helping Sirius get up.

"WOO! Let's do it again, James!" Sirius exclaimed, not at all harmed.

"YES! That was the funnest thing I've ever done!" James said, popping up behind Sirius's couch.

"I believe the correct form of the word is 'more fun'," I heard Remus mutter from under his pillow.

"Yeah, and what do you know?" James called back, jokingly.

"More than you know," Remus answered, not taking his head away from the pillow.

"BURRRRNNNN!" I heard Sirius exclaim, laughing like a maniac, which he was.

"Hahaha! Good one Remus," James called back. Remus finally brought his scarred face from under the pillow and looked at all of us.. His eyes were bloodshot and had bags hanging underneath them.

"Lookin' good, Remus," Sirius said, examining his friend. "You feeling alright?"

"Yeah… I'm fine. Just a little tired is all," Remus explained, standing up and looking at us weirdly.

"Alright… Well, who wants breakfast?" I said, looking around at my friends.

"Sign me up!" Sirius, exclaimed.

"Me too!" James called.

"I could use some food," Remus shrugged.

"It's settled. Food time!" Sirius said, marching towards the door, James closely following him,

"They're nut-cases," Remus whispered to me as we walked down a castle corridor. James and Sirius kept marching toward the Great Hall, never ceasing.

"I know," I said back to him. "But I love 'em."

"Yeah… you have to after a while," Remus replied, chuckling.

We finished our journey to the Great Hall and sat down at the long table. We had a beautiful Christmas breakfast. I enjoyed the sunlight streaming through the windows. It made the whole room shimmer. It was quite beautiful.

When we were done with breakfast, we went back upstairs to open our presents from our parents and family. I didn't get anything special but I was happy with what I got. James and Sirius didn't do too badly either. Remus wasn't so lucky.

He got one present from his parents and a card from his siblings. His brother Oliver gave him a nice present though. From what I gathered, they had a good relationship. But Remus didn't have that kind of relationship with his other siblings. I don't know why, but they seemed to despise him.

Once we had opened our gifts, we all decided to go outside and play in the snow. It was heavily blanketed around Hogwarts and the grounds. We decided to play army. We had decided by majority rules and I lost. So I had to play army. It was the same teams from yesterday, me and Remus against Sirius and James.

Remus had a strategy before the game even started. We built our forts in well-covered areas so we wouldn't be seen. We shot some spells and destroyed a few forts, but in the end, me and Remus were victorious! James and Sirius tried to accuse us of cheating but I don't know how you cheat at army.

By that time, it was time for Christmas dinner. We had to rush again to get ready in time. As we jogged down the castle corridors, my stomach started growling fiercely. I needed some food.

If I said last night was fabulous, then it was nothing compared to that feast. There was double the food, more decorations, and Christmas poppers! I popped a few and acquired a new hat.

After dinner, I could barely walk back to the common room. I tripped quite a few times, which was normal for me, but still. I flung myself down on a couch as soon as we reached the common room.

"Now that," Sirius said. "was a gorgeous feast."

"Agreed," James said, sitting down as well.

"It was so good…" Remus said, from where he was laying down on my couch.

"I'm going into a food coma!" Sirius yelled.

"Shut up, we'll get in trouble!" James whispered to Sirius.

I just chuckled and looked away. That was the only fool-proof way of being able to stand them for more than a few hours. I loved them though. All of them. They meant something to me that I could never express. I was so grateful I had decided to sit with them in the first place.

We all got up at once and made our way for our common rooms. It was sad, but Christmas was officially over. I wanted it to go on forever. I could've taken it!

If I was grateful about one thing this Christmas, it was being able to spend time with the people that I really loved.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Thanks for reading! Please review!

xoxo


	9. Chapter 8

All too soon, the winter break came to an end. Christmas was over and it was time to get back in the flow of ordinary life. This was a depressing thought.

On the Sunday before term started again, all the students who had gone home during winter break returned. Lily, Lydia, Sasha, Aaron, and Peter all came back to the castle with stories to tell and good memories to share. We also told them about our holiday experiences.

So the next day, classes resumed and were drowned in homework once again. The cold, blustery nights were a perfect backdrop to our late-night study sessions in our favorite spot in the common room. Three couches and a coffee table right in front of the fire.

"And… now we move on to Trans-FIG-ur-A-tion…" Sirius said, switching octaves with each syllable. When Sirius was bored, he would make different random noises and talk in accents.

"Sirius, I swear to God, if you don't stop that right-"

"Tonks!" James said, cutting off whatever my threat was going to be.

"I'm sorry… I'm just so tired and I'm trying to get this essay done!" I exclaimed, indicating the long roll of parchment in front of me.

"We're all tired here… Just take a deep breath," James instructed and I did what he suggested. "Better?"

"No," I said, lying back against the couch. "I hate this. Homework is the worst thing ever invented."

"Wish I could just doze off like Remus…" Sirius said, motioning over to where our friend was sacked out on the couch. "He does this all the time."

"Well, he also has better grades than you…" I muttered, looking back down at my paper.

"Shut up Tonks," Sirius said, throwing a pillow at me, chuckling.

"I was just kidding!" I exclaimed, trying to catch the pillow but failing miserably.

"I think there's something wrong with him…" James said, as if on another train of thought.

"Who? Sirius?" I asked, turning my attention back to James. "Yeah you're right. He's got loads of problems."

"No, Remus!' James said, laughing. "But your right about Sirius.

"What do you mean 'something wrong with him?'" Sirius asked, forgetting about my smartass remark.

"I dunno… If there is something wrong he won't tell us," James said.

"Yanno, I've had that feeling for a while, too," I admitted, gazing over at Remus. He was as a white as a ghost and there were dark circles under his eyes.

"Well I want whatever he has because it gets him out of a lot of stuff. Like homework," Sirius muttered, looking back down at his essay.

"I don't," James said, looking away from Remus. "He is sick all the time. I wouldn't want that."

"Me either," I said, tearing my gaze from Remus to look at Sirius.

"Yeah well, I guess you're right," he said, nonchalantly.

The rest of the night, I couldn't concentrate on the essay. The conversation about Remus made me very curious and very sad all at the same time. Every time I tried to concentrate, the thoughts about Remus's mystery disease intruded my mind.

At around midnight, Remus stirred. He sat up and rubbed his head, looking dazed and confused. He rubbed his eyes then looked around at all of us.

"Is it morning yet?" he asked groggily.

"Nope. It's midnight, mate," James said. Sirius had given up on his essay a long time ago and was laying his head on it, sleeping.

"How… how long have I been out?" Remus asked, rubbing his head again.

"Few hours maybe," James said. "Why?"

"Dunno… I just feel funny," Remus replied.

"I suppose you aren't feeling too well, huh?" I asked, almost in Sirius's state.

"I'm aching all over," Remus said, trying to stretch but wincing instead. "I think I'll go to the hospital wing tomorrow."

"You probably should… no offense, you look like crap, mate," James said.

"Thanks James," Remus replied with a small chuckle.

"Just telling the truth," James replied, smirking.

The rest of winter blew on and on. The castle had a depressing atmosphere to it. Students were dreaming of the day when they could stroll outside and feel the nice hot sun on their skin. James and Sirius especially didn't like this time of year. They hated being cooped up.

Remus eventually got back to normal then all of a sudden, his health would decline again. I felt bad for the poor guy. I usually stayed up late and sat with him, talking, before he would pass out on the couch and I would go up to bed. I enjoyed talking with him.

Then, finally, spring came, bringing some renewed happiness into the castle. Everything was growing and the world outside became green. The weather turned and it became much warmer outside. And you know what this meant. Quidditch.

James and Sirius were practically bouncing off the walls when they found out we had to take a Quidditch lesson. It was like PE for wizards. And me, being the total clutz I am, was none too pleased about this announcement.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Thanks for taking the time to read! SO SORRY ABOUT THE DELAY! I hope you still love it because I know I do! My show ends next weekend so more writing will come in the near future!

Don't forget to follow me on twitter!(:

XOXO


	10. Chapter 9

It was a clear, sunny day in April. The day of our first Quidditch lesson.

I stomped out across the lawn, heading towards an open field. There were six goal posts set up along with multiple Quaffles, Bludgers, and Snitches.

"I don't wanna do this…" I mumbled, trailing behind James and Sirius. Remus trotted along at my side.

"Common Tonks," James said, turning around. "It'll be fun!"

"James! You know me! I'm the clumsiest person ever!" I said.

"You'll be fine!" Sirius said, looking around to face me as well.

"Hope so…" I mumbled, turning to look at Remus. He had just recovered from one of his sick weeks. He still didn't look 100%.

All of a sudden we heard:

"Hey! Luuuupin! Whatcha doin?"

Remus stopped dead and turned around. It was the boys who had been giving him crap for weeks now.

"What do you want?" he said, looking at the ground.

"What? We cant talk to you, Lupin?" the leader of their group called.

"Shut up Marcus," Remus said, looking behind him for James and Sirius desperately. They hadn't heard Marcus's jeering and were continuing on toward the pitch.

These kids had been bullying Remus for a while now. They were in Slytherin house and were as big and ugly as they came. They tripped him in the corridors, took his things, and mocked his sicknesses. I think that was the main reason why they had chosen to pick on him. Because he was small and weak and sick. I tried to stand up for him as best I could. But it didn't work. They would just turn on me.

"Marcus, shut it now," I said, turning to face the idiot.

"Woo.. He's got a little girlfriend huh?" Marcus said, laughing at his friends.

"I mean it Marcus," I said, taking a step forward.

"You wanna fight me?' he said, drawing his wand.

"Woah! Stop it Tonks!" Remus said. "Let him go!"

"No! I'm tired of him bullying you!" I said, drawing my wand as well. "Plus we cant really do much damage!"

It was true. Harmful spells weren't usually taught to first years.

"Just don't do it, please!" Remus quietly begged me.

I looked into his face and saw how much he wanted me to stop. He looked very frightened. I knew I should stop. Those beautiful amber eyes were wide with fear. I lowered my wand.

"Just leave us alone," I said, grabbed Remus and turned to walk away. I could see James and Sirius standing at the pitch ahead. When we were a few yards away I heard Remus speak next to me.

"Tonks…" he breathed. "Thanks. So much."

"You're welcome," I said, turning around to see them still standing there. "I just wish you would've let me at 'em."

"What would you have done anyways?" Remus asked.

"I don't know. Just given them a piece of my mind," I said.

"You couldn't have done anything!" Remus said, exasperated. I stopped walking and turned to look at him.

"But whatever I could've done would've benefited you!" I said, taking hold of both his arms.

"Why do you care so much?" Remus asked.

"Because.. Because…" I didn't know why I couldn't answer the question. "You're my best mate."

"What? I'M your best mate?" Remus said, pointing a finger to himself. "Pfft. I thought James and Sirius were."

"You're all my best mates!" I said, letting go of his arms.

"Sure… You don't even talk to me," Remus said, turning to walk away.

"What?" Are you yelling at me now?" I said, making him stop to face me. "When did this turn into a confession circle?"

"It didn't! I'm just telling you what I think!" Remus said. It was the first time I had ever heard him yell before. I stood there, dazed. I had no idea how to respond to that.

"Remus…" I said, putting a hand on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry," he muttered, not turning around.

"Why are you sorry?" I asked, taking my hand off his shoulder.

"I just blew up at you. I'm so sorry," he said, still facing away from me.

"Well that's kind of what happens in an argument…" I said, laughing slightly.

"No, I shouldn't have done that!" he said, turning around. "I'm so sorry."

"It's fine… I don't see what the big deal is," I said, looking up at him.

"I didn't mean for that to get out of hand!" he said. "Please, just forget everything that just happened.

"I-I promise. I will." I said, looking back up into his eyes.

"I… I-I have something to tell you," he spat out very fast.

"What?" I asked.

"I… I am-"

"Lupin! Tonks! Get over here now!" I heard Madam Hooch yell.

"Ill tell you later," he muttered.

Then we walked quickly over to the make-shift Quidditch pitch and listened to Madam Hooch explain Quidditch. But I wasn't listening. I could only think about what Remus had to tell me…

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed! PLEASE stick with me! More stuff will be up soon! I have so much good stuff planned for this story! Please REVIEW and KEEP CHECKING FOR UPDATES! xD

FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER! (:

xoxo


	11. Chapter 10

We stood there in the hot sun for at least half an hour, listening to Madam Hooch drone on and on about the logistics of Quidditch. Bugs were swarming around our heads, buzzing in our ears and driving us mad. James and Sirius, who already knew how to play Quidditch, were swatting at the bugs and trying to catch them. I reckon James actually caught one once, but it's guts splattered all over his hands. Sirius was laughing hysterically about this when we heard:

"Excuse me, Mr. Black, is there a problem?"

"Um-pfft-no Madam Hooch," Sirius said, trying to hold back his laughter.

"Then why don't you explain the importance of being the team to catch the Snitch?" she said, her hawk-like eyes boring into Sirius.

"Well if you catch it, the games over and you get extra points! So you almost always win!" Sirius said, feeling so proud of himself, looking at James and smirking.

"How many extra points?" Madam Hooch asked, trying to catch him not listening.

"Um… well… you see…" Sirius trailed off, obviously not knowing the answer to the question.

"The answer is 150, Mr. Black. And you will be spending your evenings with me for a week," she said.

"Huh?" Sirius asked, with a fake look of confusion upon his face.

"Detention, Mr. Black," Madam Hooch explained.

"Oooh … sorry mate," James whispered.

"Don't push me Mr. Potter," Madam Hooch warned. "Now, if you all are going to open your ears and listen, I will continue on."

Sirius didn't talk much after he had been given detention. Madam Hooch finished up her speech then divided us up into six teams. Unfortunately, me and my friends were split up and put on different teams. We had to play a mock game of Quidditch with another team. I had been put into a group with the boys who had been bullying Remus earlier. They gave me such dirty looks.

So everyone grabbed a broom, and began to play. My team had decided that I was a chaser. I didn't know what that was, since I hadn't listened to Madam Hooch's speech.

"Um… Can you explain what that is again?" I asked the team "captain." It was really just some kid who thought he knew everything there was to know about Quidditch.

"Ugh. For the last time, you take the Quaffle down the pitch and try to get it past the keeper and into one of the goal posts," he explained, looking very annoyed.

"Yeah… right. Sorry, I forgot," I said, looking away because I knew I was blushing. This was so embarrassing…

"Just remember, please!" he said, rolling his eyes.

"Yeah, yeah. I will," I muttered, mounting my broom, about to take off.

"Hey! That's not the right-" I heard the captain exclaim. But too late, I had already sped off backwards and landed on my butt, the broom yards away from me.

"-way," the captain finished. "Nymphadora…"

"Ow!" I yelled. I had landed on my butt hard. "Ouch.."

"She is going to be the death of us…" another kid whispered to the captain.

"I know. Lets just try not to pass to her or anything.." the captain whispered back.

"I'm fine! Thanks for asking!" I yelled, getting up and brushing myself off.

"Oh! Sorry!" the captain called back.

I walked over to where the captain and the other boy stood and looked between them.

"What's your name again?" I asked.

"Um.. Andrew," the captain said.

"Micheal," the other boy said.

"Uh huh…" I said, stalking off to retrieve my broom.

"Right, Nymphadora-"

"Don't call me that."

"Sorry… But you have to mount it the other way," the captain finished.

"Oh I get it…" I said, mounting the right way and taking off. I was a little shaky once I got into the air, but I didn't fall. Then the mock game began.

I pretty much stayed in the same spot the whole first half of the game. No one passed to me, no one dodged me, and no one noticed me. I stood there stationary, watching the rest of the boys do their thing. And I was perfectly happy with that.

Then, someone threw the Quaffle at me, and by some luck, I caught it.

"FLY TONKS!" yelled Andrew. No one had been around me when I caught it and my shot at the goal post was almost direct. "COMMON! YOU CAN DO IT!"

I sped off towards the goal post, barely staying on my broom. I had almost done it when:

TWACK.

I felt something like a train ram into me from the right and I fell off my broom, going down, down, down.

THUD.

I hit the ground and heard a sickening crack. My wrist felt like it was on fire. \

"OWWW! BLOODY HELL!" I screamed.

"Tonks!" I heard someone yell.

"Madam Hooch! Nymphadora's hurt!" I heard Andrew yell.

I heard Madam Hooch blow her whistle and everyone stopped playing.

"Nymphadora! Are you okay?" I heard her say as she knelt down next to me.

"Ow! No! I think my wrist is broken! Owwww!" I said, my eyes blurring up with tears.

"Tonks!" I heard Sirius yell. "Get out of my way! She's my friend!"

James, Sirius, and Remus pushed their way to the front of the group of people surrounding me and Madam Hooch.

"Oh my God…" I heard James mutter. "Oh… I can't look."

"Me either!" I heard Sirius exclaim as he and James turned to look away.

"What? What's wrong?" I asked, mortified at why they couldn't look at me. I looked down at my broken wrist and got my answer.

It was completely broken in half, snapped in two. The whole wrist had a sickly greenish-blueish color to it. It just hung there, limply attached to my arm.

"Oh my God…" I muttered. Then I turned to my right and threw up.

"Oh… oh dear," Madam Hooch said, looking away. "Um… she needs to be taken to the Hospital Wing immediately."

"I'll do it," I heard a soft voice say.

"Lupin's your name right?" Madam Hooch inquired.

Remus.

"Yes ma'am," Remus replied, crouching down next to me.

"Very well… Help her up to the castle," Madam Hooch said, helping me into Remus's arms. "Be very careful."

"I promise I will," Remus said, wrapping his arm around my waist.

"Well off you go," Madam Hooch said. "Make sure she is looked at."

"Of course," Remus said, and we started back up the lawn towards the castle.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Pretty proud of this chapter might I say… Please keep reviewing! PLEASE!(:

XOXO


	12. Chapter 11

"Tonks? Tonks? Are you okay?" I heard Remus ask next to me.

"I don't think so…" I muttered. "What happened?"

"Well, you were flying down the pitch toward the goal post and all of a sudden Marcus comes and rams into you. And of course you fell of you broom," Remus explained. "I saw all of it."

"Ugh… that kid is going to be the death of me," I muttered. Quite honestly, I was relying completely upon Remus to guide me. I couldn't see a thing. Tears blurred my vision and I was woozy from seeing my wrist and being sick.

"James and Sirius were too scared to look at you, eh?" Remus asked, chuckling. "What girls…"

"Hah, true," I said, and tripped on a rock.

"Woah, watch out, not too fast," Remus said, readjusting his grip on my waist.

"Am I going to be okay?" I asked, a sudden thought coming to mind. "I mean, you're at the Hospital Wing a lot… Is Madam Pomfrey good?"

"Yeah, she's excellent," Remus said. "Now be quiet, I don't want you wearing yourself down."

"How can I wear myself down by talking?" I asked, laughing.

"You can, trust me," Remus explained, and I did trust him.

We walked silently back into the castle and up to the Hospital Wing. Madam Pomfrey told us she had been informed by Madam Hooch about my injury and was ready for us when we arrived. I laid down in a bed and Madam Pomfrey got to work. Unfortunately, it was very painful to repair broken bones. It felt like my already throbbing wrist was on fire.

Remus sat silently next to me, holding my other hand and soothing me. He was trying his best to keep my attention away from what Madam Pomfrey was doing. He would caress my hand and speak to me softly. His large amber eyes looked calmly into my face. He definitely helped me get through it.

Finally, she was done, my bones back together. She told me I would have to stay overnight at the Hospital Wing to be monitored though. Remus told me he was going to get the other boys and would be right back.

It was extremely boring laying in that hospital bed, with no one to talk to. I stared blankly up at the ceiling, wondering what was going on down at the make-shift pitch and whether or not Marcus was going to be punished. I was hoping he would.

All of a sudden, I heard:

"Tonks! You're alive!"

I looked to my right and James and Sirius bounding up the wing towards my bed. They ran over and plopped down into seats on either side of me. I looked behind them and saw Remus walking silently behind them.

"Boys! Shush! This is a hospital!" I heard Madam Pomfrey say.

"Sorry ma'am," Sirius said back, turning on his Sirius charm.

"So how are you Tonks?" James asked, turning the attention back on me.

"I'm fine… I guess.." I said, not looking at James, but at Remus who was completely silent.

"I'm glad! I watched the whole thing! A pretty nasty run-in, huh? Marcus got detentions for the rest of the year!" James said, obviously joyful. I finally tore my attention from Remus and back to James and Sirius.

"Yeah… you should've seen his face!" Sirius added in.

"I'm sure it was amazing," I muttered. I was exhausted.

"Guys… I think she's tired," Remus chimed in.

"Yeah… I am. Exhausted," I said, telling the truth.

"Oh… Sorry Tonks," James said, looking down into his lap.

"We should get going then," Remus said. Then leaning down to hug me said: "We'll see you tomorrow. Feel better."

"Thanks boys," I said and watched then as they walked out of the wing. I almost immediately fell asleep. And I had a crazy dream.

In my dream, I looked much older, maybe 15 or 16. I was with the boys on the edge of the Black Lake, under a huge tree. It was a beautiful autumn day, the air crisp and calm.

I was laying down next to some boy, but I couldn't tell who. I turned my head and looked up into his face. It was Remus. He had one arm draped over my hips and was just laying there casually.

"Common Moony, you are her boyfriend! And we've never seen you guys kiss! Just do it!" I heard Sirius say. I was actually taken aback by Sirius. He was extremely handsome.

"But common, this is something private!" I heard Remus exclaim. I turned around again and saw that he was extremely gorgeous, too. His scarred face and amber eyes were framed perfectly by his light brown hair. He had a smile wiped across his face, even if he was trying to conceal it.

"I don't care! I song girls all the time in public!" Sirius said, sitting up from his lounging position.

"Just do it!" James exclaimed.

"Common," I heard myself saying. "Let's show 'me."

"Okay…" Remus said and leaned down to kiss me. It was amazing, even if it was a dream. His arms were wrapped around my back, slowly rubbing it, up and down. He was an amazing kisser. I felt my arms wrapped around his neck and my lips slowly kissing his back. They were so soft.

I rolled on top of him, my arms still wrapped around his neck. He sat up, and made me straddle him, my legs wrapped around his lower back.

"Okay! You've shown us!" I heard James yell.

We finally pulled apart and stared into each other's eyes. I didn't dare look away.

"Nicely done Moony," I heard Sirius say, clapping. "And you too Tonks."

"It was actually very good," James said, clapping along.

"Yeah… You should save the rest of that for later though," Sirius said, chuckling.

"Don't worry, we will," Remus said, chuckling and planting another kiss on my lips.

Then I woke up.

XXXXXXXXXXX

AHHHH! Foreshadowing! Hope you enjoyed it! KEEEEEP REVIEWING! (:

XOXO


	13. Chapter 12

I sat up and looked around frantically. I was still in the hospital wing. I was still eleven. I was alone.

I took a deep breath and threw myself back against the pillows, rubbing my eyes. What did I just dream? All I could see was Remus's charmingly handsome face swimming in my head. I tried to convince myself that it wasn't real. But thing was, it was SO real.

I could still feel his soft lips kissing mine. I could feel his gentle arms rubbing my back. I heard the jeering of James and Sirius ringing in my ears. I shuddered. It was so vivid.

I sat up again and examined my wrist. It looked almost completely healed. It didn't even hurt. It was just numb.

Now that I had made sure I wasn't going to be in any pain, I thought about my dream again. Did I want that to happen? I couldn't decide if it was a good dream or a nightmare.

I sighed and slumped back against my pillow and closed my eyes. I had the urge to tell someone about my dream immediately, but I knew I couldn't. I couldn't let something like that get around. And if James, Sirius or Remus heard about it? I couldn't imagine.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The next morning, Madam Pomfrey woke me up.

"Common darling, time to get up," she crooned, helping me sit up. "Ahh yes, that wrist healed nicely."

She unwrapped the bandage around my wrist and examined it carefully. She seemed to decide that it was okay for me to leave the Hospital Wing. I collected all my belongings and got out of there as fast as I could.

I climbed through the portrait hole and saw the boys sitting in front of the fire.

"Hey! Tonks!" James said, standing up and giving me a hug. "How're you feeling?"

"Never better," I answered, hugging Sirius as well. Then I turned to Remus. He wrapped his arms around me and I was forcibly reminded of my dream. I shuddered.

"You okay Tonks?" Remus asked.

"Yeah… yeah I'm fine," I answered, pulling away from him.

The next two months passed in a snap.

It was crazy how busy we were. We still had to continue with Quidditch lessons, which I was obviously more careful with, and had classes to attend. The classes combined with Quidditch almost killed me. I stayed up late every night doing homework or studying for something. Sirius commented one night:

"I wonder what it's gonna be like when we're in 7th year? I mean, we have so much homework now, how much more can they give us?"

It was true. But somehow, we all survived.

Remus's bullying continued, even after I had yelled at Marcus in April. His gang of cronies would hunt Remus down in the corridors between classes and trip him or jeer at him or push him down. I almost cried every time it happened. I yelled at them, but they just laughed.

Another thing that was bothering me was that my Quidditch team hated me. I was the worst player on the team. After I had recovered enough to play, I got back into my position as Chaser. No one ever threw me the ball, no one passed to me, and I was totally okay with that. But on occasion, when someone did pass me the Quaffle, I just froze and ended up throwing it to the wrong team. I got yelled at and called stupid and I knew the rest of my team talked about me when I wasn't looking. It actually hurt my feelings. One day, I got so worked up over not being able to play right that I actually left the pitch and went and hid myself in the castle.

I was sitting against a wall in a corridor leading down to the Charms classroom. I cried silently into my hands and wondered why I was so clumsy and uncoordinated. All of a sudden, I heard someone call my name.

"Tonks? Is that you?"

I looked up and saw Remus walking down the corridor toward me. I wiped my tears away and remembered he hadn't been down at the pitch today. I assumed he had been in the Hospital Wing.

"Yeah… it's me," I answered.

He came and sat himself down next to me on the floor. His big amber eyes examined me, trying to figure out what was wrong. He had band-aids all over his face and hands. I was right, he had been at the Hospital Wing.

"What's wrong?" he asked, not taking his eyes off me. I then explained the whole situation to him. I explained about the team, I explained how frustrated I was about my clumsiness. He listened and nodded his head and spoke when it was appropriate. When I finished, he took a moment to let it sink in.

"You know, your clumsiness makes you unique," he finally said.

"I guess," I muttered, not understanding what he was getting at.

"I don't think you should be ashamed in any way," he said, shifting himself to a more comfortable position.

"Why?"

"Because everyone is bad at something. And your something is well, Quidditch." He said turning back to face me. "If we were all perfect-" he looked to the floor and took a deep breath "- the world wouldn't be so interesting," He took a pause. "I know what it feels like to be different."

"You're not different Remus," I said, not looking up at him. I meant what I said, and I had no doubt about it. "You're extremely smart… and funny. You have good friends…"

"So do you," Remus replied. "And… well… I can't say I'm completely normal."

"Why do you say that?"

"It's a long story," he replied, looking at the opposite wall.

"I have time," I said, and another tear leaked out of my eye. Remus reached over and wiped it away.

"I don't know if I want people to know just yet," he said, smiling at me. "Cheer up."

"Thanks Remus," I muttered, looking down at my knees. "This helped," I said, wiping away another tear.

"Just a way to repay a friend," he said, looking back at the wall.

"What did I do that needs to be repaid?"

"You helped me with Marcus," he replied, tearing his gaze away from the wall.

"That was nothing," I sighed.

"Sure it was," Remus said, looking down at his knees also. There was a long awkward pause. "You're a good friend, Tonks."

"You too," I said, cracking a smile. I thought of my dream again. My smile broadened. We sat there for a long time after the conversation ended, enjoying each other's company. Then Madam Hooch sent James looking for me, and he found us. Practice was over and I was extremely grateful.

The rest of the year passed in a blur and I couldn't believe I was done with one year at Hogwarts. I couldn't believe we were 2nd years already.

The train ride home was uneventful. I sat with the boys and it was a good time. We played games, annoyed people, and discussed our summer plans. Truth be told, I didn't have any. I was looking forward to a relaxing summer. Of course I would write the boys and Lily every week. I was going to miss them so much.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

AWWWWWWWW! Remus and Tonks are too cute ^.^

Please Review!

XOXO


	14. Chapter 13

I stepped off the train and onto the crowded platform. There were students and parents everywhere. I knew I was going to have a hard time finding my family in this mess.

We went and collected our trunks from the luggage compartment and then set off trying to find our families. We had to stay close together so we wouldn't get separated. Finally, Peter announced that he had found his family and left the group. Me, Remus, James, and Sirius set off again into the crowd.

"How're we supposed to find anybody in this bloody mess," Sirius muttered under his breath after being run over by a group of particularly large girls. They hadn't noticed a thing.

"I have no idea…" James answered, grabbing my forearm so I wouldn't get pulled along with a group of warlocks. "Watch it, Tonks."

"Sorry I tripped and got carried away," I said, blushing. "Oh look! There's my mum!"

We pulled through the crowd and eventually found my family. Sasha and Aaron had found my parents and were watching us trying to get through the crowd with grins slapped across their faces.

"Mum!" I called and ran over and hugged her and my father. "Finally found us, eh?" Sasha said.

"Finally is the word… This place is packed," I commented.

"You'd better believe," Aaron said.

"Tonks, who is this?" my father asked. I had totally forgotten that the boys were still here.

"Oh dad, this is James Potter-" I said indicating James, who shook his hand. "-Sirius Black-" pointing to Sirius, who charmingly waved. "-and Remus Lupin," I concluded. Remus shook hands with my father and smiled.

"Lupin… Lupin… I've heard that name before…" my father muttered, examining Remus, who looked uncomfortable.

"My father works at the ministry," Remus chimed in.

"That's not it…" my father said, furrowing his brow. "Oh well! I'll eventually remember!"

"Anyway… time to go Tonks," my mother said, obviously noticing that Remus was uncomfortable. "Say goodbye."

"See you in two months, Tonks," James said, stepping forward to give me a hug.

"I'll miss you James," I said, hugging him back. "Keep your glasses on straight." He smiled.

"Glad I met you Tonks," Sirius said, giving me a hug as well. I suddenly remembered that conversation I eaves dropped on many months ago.

"I'll miss you Sirius," I said, returning the hug. "I'll miss you making me laugh."

I then turned to Remus. He was looking at me and smiling. The light from the sunny afternoon shone on his light brown hair and made his eyes sparkle. He stepped forward and wrapped his arms around me. The dream came flooding back into my mind. I tried to push it away.

"I'm… uh. Gonna miss you Tonks," he said into my shoulder.

"You too," I replied. He pulled away and I almost ran back into his arms. But I restrained myself.

"I'll see you guys soon!" I said, acknowledging all of the boys. "I'll write a lot!"

"You too!" they said and walked off to find their families.

Once we were back in the family car, my mother looked back at me and said:

"So… that Remus has got a twinkle in his eye for you huh?"

"What do you mean, mum?" I asked, although I already knew the answer.

"He likes you right?"

"Well… I mean… I don't know!" I said honestly. I had to morph away my blushing.

"Oh well… you'll know soon enough," my mother replied.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Summer was truly an uneventful time. It was almost to the point where it was boring. I spent all day with my family, mostly Sasha and Aaron, outside. We played Quidditch, took walks, and all other kinds of outdoors stuff. I enjoyed it very much.

Every week I would get a letter from Lily and Remus. James and Sirius weren't as diligent because I only got one or two letters from them. But it was okay, I understood. Lily's letters were especially fun to read because she had a very interesting home life, being a Muggle-born. She talked about things like televisions and clothes irons and washing machines. It was very cool to learn about how Muggles lived.

Remus's letters were more about him missing me. He didn't talk much about his family because I knew they didn't get along. He wrote about the things he did with his break, which was mostly read. He told me about going on adventures in the woods with his brother Oliver and discovering some cool stuff. I made me happy that he was getting some enjoyment.

But for the most part, I was pretty much isolated from my friends. They were at their own homes for summer, except Sirius. He was spending the summer at James's house. I would love to do something like that. It would be very nice to be with your friends all summer.

Finally, the day came when my family was scheduled to go to Diagon Alley. Unfortunately, none of my friends could make it that day, so I went with my parents, again. We didn't have to buy that much stuff this year, so we didn't take as long. It was just so good to be around other wizards for a change, to remind me that salvation was near. In two short day's time, I would be boarding the Hogwarts Express.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I know, kind of boring, but another update tonight I think?(:

PLEASE REVIEW!

XOXO


	15. Chapter 14

The morning of the beginning of my 2nd year, I woke up bright and early. I wanted to make sure that everything was in place and accounted for. After all of my double-checking was done, I hauled my trunk down the stairs and into the car. I then shoved some breakfast down my throat and hurried back upstairs to get dressed.

I chose some dark brown hair at shoulder length for today's journey. I pulled on my t-shirt and jeans then stumbled down the steps and into the living room where my mother was instructing Aaron on how to behave on the train.

"Mum! I know how to act on a bloody train!" he exclaimed.

"Don't talk to your mother that way!" my father warned.

"Sorry…" Aaron muttered.

"Hmpf," my mother sighed. "If you knew how to act on a train like a young man, then why did you misbehave last year?"

"That kid had it coming for him!" Aaron exclaimed, exasperated.

"No he didn't!" my mother said, pointing her finger down his nose. "If you misbehave again his year, Professor McGonagall won't be the only one you'll hear from."

"Fine…" Aaron said, accepting defeat.

"Now, let's get a move on, all of you," my mother said, motioning everyone to stand up and move out.

We all squeezed in the car and drove off to King's Cross.

"Dora?" my father suddenly asked, looking back at me in the rearview mirror.

"Yes Dad?" I answered.

"I remembered where I had heard the name Lupin before, just this morning," he said, looking back at the road.

"So… where have you heard it before?" I asked.

"Well… quite a few years back, there was a whole series of articles in the Prophet about the Lupin family. It had something to do with Fenrir Greyback. I can't remember all the details, but I do know that there was some tension between Simon Lupin, who is, I assume, Remus's father, and Greyback," my father explained.

"What happened?" I asked, shocked.

"I don't remember… Something bad I assume."

"Did someone die?" Aaron butted-in.

"I don't think so… But I wouldn't be surprised if one of his children is dead. Or maybe a werewolf themselves. I don't know honestly. Maybe ask Remus about it today?" my father said.

"Yeah… maybe," I said, looking out the window. I didn't know much about werewolves, except that they turned into vicious wolves on the full moon. I had also heard about Fenrir Greyback and how terrible he was. I always flinched when I heard that name.

We finally pulled into the paring lot at King's Cross. My father unloaded our trunks onto carts and we wheeled them into the station. It was a busy day for King's Cross and most of the patrons were most likely Hogwarts students and their families.

We crossed the barrier onto Platform 9 ¾. The platform was overflowing with students and families. We had to push a few people down to get to the luggage car and back. It was time to say goodbye yet again.

"Goodbye Nymphadora," my mother said, hugging me tightly. "Watch your brother okay? Make sure he doesn't get into too much trouble."

"I will," I said, chuckling.

"Hey!" Aaron said, jaw dropped.

"I was only joking!" I said, a smile across my face. I turned back to my mum. "I'll miss you, Mum."

"I will too," she said, smiling down at me. "Don't forget to write this year, you didn't do a very good job at it last year."

"Sorry…" I said, chuckling.

"See you Dora," my father said, hugging me as well.

"See ya Dad," I said, hugging him back. I stepped back and then boarded the train with Sasha and Aaron. We waved and waved and waved until we were out of sight, then went our separate ways to go find our friends.

I walked down the train in the direction of the compartment we had planned on meeting at. I pushed through many people in order to get there. It was quite frustrating. Finally I saw a black curly haired-head bobbing ahead.

"Sirius!" I called, and he turned around.

"Hey! Tonksie!" he called back, and pushed through the crowd back to me. I noticed James was with him.

"How are you guys?" I asked, as we filed into the compartment behind me.

"Great! How about you? How was your summer?" James asked.

"Boring as hell…" I said, honestly. "What about yours?"

"Meh… Fine," James said. "Sirius didn't want to go home to his mother so he stayed with me."

"Yeah… I'm pretty sure she eats children," Sirius said, laughing.

"Yeah that's a pretty good possibility. She's a scary thing, she is," James said, laughing as well.

At that moment, Peter entered the compartment. He looked the same as he did last year. He seemed to have not grown at all. The funny thing was, James and Sirius had grown. They were at least a few inches taller and looked more mature. But they definitely were not more mature in their personalities.

"Heeeeeeeeeeeeeyy! COWS! Lookie over here!" Sirius screamed out the open compartment window. We were passing a farm that had a huge number of cows. James and Sirius seemed to think that the cows would actually pay attention to them.

"Hey that one looked!" James exclaimed.

"What is all this noise about?" I heard someone say as the compartment door opened. I turned around. It was Remus.

He seemed to have matured a little bit over the summer, too. He was a few inches taller, broader shoulders, and had longer hair; yet the color was the same. The light brown hair now fell almost directly into his face. His eyes were the same though. The beautiful amber orbs still could mesmerize me.

"Remus!" I said, getting up and hugging him. "How are you?"

"Fine how about yourself?" he said, chuckling. "I've missed you."

"You as well…" I muttered.

"Okay Tonks, lets share Remus now," I heard Sirius say. I pulled away and turned around to see Sirius with his fists on his hips and giving me the "evil eye."

"My turn!" James said, running at Remus and nearly knocking him down as he hugged him, obviously mocking me.

"Oh my! Remus I've missed you so much!" he said, in a falsetto voice that was supposed to be my own. I didn't mind this torment though. I knew it was just James and Sirius's way of being funny.

Sirius ran and hugged him next. He mocked me as well, but I just laughed. I knew it wasn't intended to be harmful. Although, if you looked at Remus, he was blushing madly.

After they were done being idiots, we all sat down and talked. Summer wasn't very eventful for anyone really, so I didn't feel left out. Remus didn't talk much, he just listened.

We played a few games, ate some food, and talked the day away until we had to change into our uniforms again. Unfortunately I had to leave to change. When I was fully dressed, I made sure that there wasn't any important discussions going on, and then went back into the compartment.

When we finally arrived at Hogwarts, we didn't get to ride the boats this year. I was honestly sad about this. We filled up a carriage and rode our way back up to the castle. I was finally home again.

James and Sirius… heehee (:

Thanks for all the support!

PLEASE REVIEW!

XOXO


	16. Chapter 15

"Back again, eh?" James said, his eyes on the approaching castle.

"Back again," Sirius agreed.

We were driving up the winding road leading to the great oak front doors of the castle. Our carriages were pulling themselves, which I thought was truly amazing.

When we finally pulled up to the front doors, we jumped out and ran up the steps. My first problem was the jumping down part. As soon as I went to jump, I just stumbled down and landed on my foot.

"Ouch!" I said, standing up and brushing myself off. This, of course, provoked James and Sirius to start laughing their heads off. Remus actually came over to see if I was okay, which I was. Then I had another battle with the front steps. I tripped and fell flat on my face.

"Ouch! Bloody hell!" I exclaimed, pushing myself upward and rubbing my nose where it had made contact with the stone steps.

"God Tonks, I've never seen anyone fall as much as you," Remus said, helping me stand up. It was a little hard to hear him over the roar of laughter from James and Sirius, who were nearly in stitches.

"Yeah me either," I said, smiling slightly.

After we got up the steps and into the Great Hall, I took a moment to let it sink in. I was finally back at Hogwarts.

We walked over to the Gryffindor table and sat down. I felt at home sitting there between my friends. Then, the sorting ceremony then took place, all the first years grouped at the front of the hall. They all looked incredibly nervous. I probably looked the same way when I was in that position.

"My God… Let's get this rolling," Sirius muttered. "I'm starving."

"Me too," James agreed.

Unluckily for James and Sirius, the sorting took forever. I swear there were double the amount of first years then there was last year. Maybe I was just making things up, but still it took way too long. As soon as the sorting was over, I realized we would have to sit through Dumbledore's speech again.

"Welcome everyone! Welcome to a new term!" he exclaimed, beaming out at all of the students. You could almost hear crickets at the short break in his speech. Everyone was so hungry we could probably eat a Hippogriff.

"Uhm… yes. Well… To everyone who is unfamiliar to me, I am Professor Dumbledore, headmaster here at Hogwarts. I am so incredibly excited for this term! Now I don't want to keep you waiting much longer, so bear with me," he said

He went over a few housekeeping rules, such as no students should enter the Forbidden Forest, no first years should own a broom and other stuff like that. I could tell Sirius was about to jump up and run to the kitchen himself he was so hungry. Or maybe he was just being dramatic, which is totally possible.

"Now, let me remind you, that the Whomping Willow that we have planted on our grounds is a very dangerous species of tree. Please, I urge you to be extremely cautious around this plant, as we don't want any injuries," Professor Dumbledore said.

Again, I felt Remus shift in his seat next to me. I had no idea why the thought of the Whomping Willow harming anyone was so upsetting to him. I mean, of course it would be devastating if someone was hurt, but I didn't feel the need to be so uncomfortable.

"Now everyone… tuck in," Dumbledore concluded. And the feast began.

This feast reminded me of Christmas Day's feast last year. It was so extravagant that I could barely decide what to heap onto my plate and what to leave behind. There were too many choices. Roast beef, mashed potatoes, soup, bread, steak, macaroni and cheese, noodles, anything you could imagine. Dessert was probably the best though. There was cakes, candies, chocolate fountains, cheesecake, strawberries, cookies, candy bars, and massive sculptures made out of ice cream. I almost exploded.

After the feast, everyone had to loosen their belts a little bit, especially the boys. I don't think I had ever seen Remus eat so much! It was like he was a hungry wolf devouring his prey. And don't even get me started on James and Sirius, who ate everything.

Dumbledore wished us goodnight, then sent us off to our dorms for a good night's rest.

We journeyed up through the castle to Gryffindor tower. I was so stuffed I could barely walk straight! When we arrived, Sasha was their to greet us again.

"Hey Tonks," he said, acknowledging me and my friends.

"Night Sash," I said, and climbed through the portrait hole. It was exactly how I remembered it; roaring fire, dozens of bookshelves, and cozy couches.

"Now, it is time to do my third favorite thing," Sirius said, walking toward the staircase leading to the dorms. "Behind causing trouble and eating of course."

"And what is that?" I asked, laughing.

"Sleeping," Sirius said, yawning. We bid each other goodnight when we reached the landing and the boys climbed the stairs to their dorm and I climbed the stairs to my dorm. This year, I went to a room on my right that said:

Second Year Girls

I pushed the door open and saw the four girls unpacking.

"Tonks!" Lily squealed, and ran over to give me a hug, closely followed by Lydia.

"Hey Lily," I said, hugging her back.

"How was your summer?" she asked as I gave Lydia a hug.

"Boring… Although I really did enjoy your letters! What's a… a tele…telefusion again?" I asked, confused.

"Television," she corrected me, then explained what it was again.

"Muggle stuff is so fascinating…" I said, walking over to my bed to start unpacking. I glanced over my shoulder at Scarlet and May. They didn't even seem to notice I had arrived. I shrugged it off. Who cares?

It didn't take me long to unpack and change into my pajamas. I laid down in my nice warm bed again and was in heaven. I took a moment to just lay there. Then I called goodnight to everyone and shut my eyes. I had another peculiar dream.

In this dream, I wasn't much older than I was now, maybe 13. I dressed in a gorgeous silver dress that was tightly fitted to my knees and black heels. My hair was done to a tee and my make up was flawless. I was dancing with someone across a magnificent dance floor set up in the Great Hall. I looked up into the face of my partner. It was…

Sirius?

His arms were wrapped tightly around my waist and my wrists were crossed behind his neck. The song that was playing in the background was slow and romantic. The lights were dimmed and everything was silent except for the music and some quiet whisperings from the other couples on the dance floor.

I looked up into Sirius's handsome face, which was cleaned up pretty nicely. He looked down at me, smiling as broadly as I've ever seen. He looked down into my eyes then started to lean in to kiss me. I closed my eyes and prepared myself for the kiss. His lips were centimeters from mine when we heard-

AWOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

It was the most terrible noise I had ever heard in my life. It sounded like an animal was being tortured right outside a window in the Great Hall. The howl was so loud and horrifying that everything stopped. The dancing, the music, the kiss. Everything came to a screeching halt as everyone looked around frantically to see where the noise was coming from. Then we heard it again.

AWOOOOOOOOO!

I sat bolt up right in my bed, cold sweat dripping down my face. That terrible howl from my dream rang in my ears. I was crying and screaming so loud that everyone woke up.

"Tonks! What's wrong?" I heard Lily call as the lights in the dorm flicked on. I had to take a few steady breaths to calm myself down before I could talk.

"Lily… Lily… Bad dream…" was all I could manage.

"Shh.. Shh.. It's okay," she said, hugging me tightly.

"Shut up Nymphadora," I heard Scarlet call from her bed.

"Scarlet, you shut up," Lily said, patting my back gently. Scarlet didn't answer back.

I quietly explained my dream to Lily and Lydia and began calm myself down. I begged them not to tell anyone about it, and they agreed. They made sure I was okay then went back to bed. The lights turned off and I lay in the darkness again, the dream playing over and over again in my head. What did it mean?

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Ooh. Threw you all for a loop huh?(:

Remus or Sirius?

PLEASE REVIEW!

XOXO


	17. Chapter 16

The next morning was the first day of the new term. I had to wake up early even though I hadn't gotten much sleep the night before because of that horrid dream. As I pulled my knee-high socks on, I thought about it. Not the part about the noise. But the part about me and Sirius.

Of course I remembered that conversation I had eavesdropped on last year.

_I like her A LOT… She's hot._

I sighed. I had now dreamt of kissing two of my best friends. Well, I almost kissed Sirius. I had a full on make out with Remus. Were these dreams the future? I couldn't know for sure… All I knew was that I had almost kissed Sirius Black last night.

The next few weeks passed without anything exciting happening. Classes and homework. But in October, it was my birthday. I was finally 12.

That morning, I woke up to Lily squealing:

"Happy Birthday Tonks!" and her shoving a present into my face. My parents had sent me a nice present as well. I opened a few cards and presents but soon realized I needed to be getting ready.

That day, my hair was blonde around my mid-back. I liked this hairstyle on me quite a bit. Once I was ready, I walked downstairs to find the boys waiting for me.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY TONKSIE!" I heard Sirius exclaim as I walked into the common room.

"Wow… Thanks!" I said, as a huge present was shoved into my hands. It was from:

_Your boys. _

_(But mostly Sirius because he's awesome.)_

_No not from "mostly Sirius"_

_(Mostly Sirius XD )_

"Thanks 'mostly Sirius'," I said, chuckling. I opened the present and found a really beautiful picture frame with a picture of me and the boys by the lake last year.

"Wow… it's so nice! Thanks so much!" I said, hugging James, Sirius, and Peter. I looked around. "Where's Remus?"

"He went to the Hospital Wing last night, remember?" James said, sitting on the back of one of the couches.

"Oh yeah… right," I said, feeling a little disappointed.

"He'll probably show up later. He wouldn't want to miss your birthday," James said, smirking.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"The boy is in love with you," Sirius said bluntly.

"What?" I said, taken aback.

"Sirius, you weren't supposed to say anything!" James said, jumping off the back of the couch.

"Oh common, James. How can she not already know?" Sirius said.

"I didn't… uh. Know that," I said, looking at my feet.

"You see?" James said, throwing his hands in Sirius's face for emphasis.

"Tonks! How can you not know that Remus has a huge crush on you?" Sirius said, turning to me.

"I don't know… I just… didn't pick up on it I guess…?" I said, shrugging my shoulders.

"Well…Now you know… Do you like him? Do ya? Do ya?" Sirius said, sideling up to my and hitting my arm with his elbow.

"I don't know!" I said, stepping away from him.

"I'm just surprised you didn't notice!" James said, chuckling.

"Is is that obvious?" I asked.

"Pretty much…" Sirius said. "Even Peter noticed. And you know how naïve he is."

I thought about it for a moment. I guess Remus was a little extra friendly with me. And I guess I had known from that conversation on the train last year. I had just kinda pushed the thought of Remus having a crush on me out of my mind. I was just his friend.

Or was I? Did I like him too?

I looked back at James and Sirius who were still laughing at me being so stupid. I just shrugged and said:

"Well… I guess I'll just keep that in mind," I simply said, and started walking back to my dorm to put the picture away.

"Where are you going?" Sirius asked.

"Crazy, want to come?" I said, as I began climbing the stairs. After the picture was safely put away in my dorm, we went down to breakfast. I was sitting across from James and Sirius, eating a pancake when Remus sat down. I turned to look at him and I choked on my pancake.

His whole left side was bandaged up from his neck up to above his ear. There was also the usual band-aids on his face and hands. He was as white as the milk set on the table in front of him and had huge bags under his eyes. After the initial shock of seeing him so beat up, I felt my self choke up. Tears welled in my eyes and I had to turn away to calm myself down.

"Remus… what happened?" I heard Sirius ask. I reemerged from under the table and looked back at the mummy that was Remus.

"Um.. Accident," he said, shoveling food onto his plate and starting to eat.

"What kind of accident?" James asked, gazing at Remus.

"Um… Tripped down the stairs, yanno…" he said, shoving more egg into his mouth.

"Are you okay?" I finally managed.

"No.. not really. But I'll be fine," he said.

The rest of the day, I had to look at Remus. I almost burst into tears every time I saw him. And the worst part was, Marcus continued to bully him. I was especially defensive today. But still, my threats were empty to him. At the end of the day in the common room, Remus fell asleep on the couch.

"I feel so bad for him…." I muttered, gazing at his lifeless figure.

"Yeah… it must suck," James said, glancing up from his essay to look at Remus. I was curled up in an armchair, my knees to my face. I had finished my homework hours ago, but I didn't want to leave the boys.

"I'm done. I give up," James said, throwing down his quill. "I'm going to bed."

"I guess I'll go too," Sirius said, packing up his stuff. Peter followed their example.

"What should we do with him?" James said, indicating Remus.

"Just let him sleep," Sirius said, shouldering his bag. "You coming Tonks?"

"Yeah… I'll be up. I need to… uh. Check over something first," I said, rummaging through my bag.

"Alright, well goodnight and Happy Birthday again," Sirius said and started toward the stairs. James and Peter said similar things then went off to bed, too.

The common room was deserted except for me and Remus. I waited until I heard the doors close to the boys' dorm before I stopped rummaging in my bag. I stood up and went over and sat down on Remus's couch. I watched him for a few minutes before I picked up his head and laid it in my lap. I stroked his hair and face, trying to make him feel better, even if he was unconscious. I finally cried then. I had no idea what was wrong with him, but I knew it was something terrible.

I think I stayed down there all night, just watching over him. It was okay though… I didn't mind. He slept soundly, his breathing deep and slow. I caressed his face and arms, made sure he was warm. I couldn't explain why I was so protective over him. Then, at around two in the morning, it hit me.

I had fallen for Remus Lupin.

Awwwwwwe ^.^

PLEASE REVIEW!

XOXO


	18. Chapter 17

Just wanted to take a moment to say THANKS SO MUCH to all of you who have reviewed and favorited my story! I couldn't be more excited that it's a success!(:

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Remus's POV*_

The last thing I remembered before crashing on the couch in the common room was watching _her_ pouring over her essay. Her blonde curly hair was tied back in a loose pony-tail and her face was screwed up in concentration. I had to admit, she was still the most beautiful girl I had ever seen.

I was struggling to keep my eyes open as total exhaustion washed over me. This had been a hard full moon. When had woken up this morning, the whole left side of my face was bleeding like crazy. I had no idea what the hell I had done. I shouldn't even have left the Hospital Wing, but I had to see her on her birthday.

She sat up and glanced over at me, her dark brown eyes examining me. I don't think she knew that I had noticed those beautiful eyes well up with tears this morning. I couldn't think of why she had been crying though. Was it because of me? I hoped not. I never wanted to see her cry ever again. She didn't deserve to be unhappy. I sighed and remembered the first time I had ever seen her.

_I was sitting across from James and Sirius, who had found me sitting alone in my compartment and asked if they could come in. It was a little awkward, for sure. I was staring out the window at the platform below when I heard: _

"_Hey! Watch where your going!"_

_I looked over and saw a girl with hair as red as a fire engine topple over into our compartment. There was a huge blonde 6__th__ or 7__th__ year standing outside, who seemed to be the one who had knocked her over. _

"_Watch where you're going shrimp! I think I- woah. What happened to your hair?" he asked, cocking an eyebrow. _

"_Never mind you!" she shouted, slamming the compartment door and pulling the shade down. She took a few slow deep breaths before turning around. Her hair was no longer fire engine red. She surveyed the compartment and blushed. _

_But I knew I was blushing harder. She was perfect. I assumed she was a metamorphagus due to the fact that her hair was changing color. But other than that, she was stunning. Her dark eyes mesmerized me completely. I knew I was staring. _

"_Remus. Stop. Staring. Stop it! STOP IT! Oh no. Did she notice me staring?" I thought to myself._

_She was a spitfire, she was. Didn't take crap from anyone. I liked that. She was having a conversation with James and Sirius and before I knew it, she had her hand outstretched and was asking me to take it. My heart skipped a beat. I didn't even know her name. _

"_Remus Lupin," I said, shyly looking up at her, hoping she had asked for my name. I reached up and shook her hand. I saw those gorgeous eyes move away from my eyes and onto my face. And something had changed. _

_I felt ashamed. I knew she had noticed my scars. I wanted to run out of that compartment and never return. She looked now to my hands. They were as bad as my face. I felt myself blush even harder. I wanted to cry, to scream, to hide. I didn't want her to see them. _

_She then took a seat right next to me. I shifted and looked back out the window, hoping my blushing would stop. But I knew as long as she was next to me, I wouldn't stop blushing. _

But now, here I was, over a year later, staring at the same girl. Of course James and Sirius knew I liked her. They were nosey people, how could they not know? The thing was, I didn't know how she felt about me.

The pain and exhaustion were calling me to close my eyes and sleep. But for some reason, reality was better than dreams at the moment, when it's usually the other way around. Dreams were my one escape to a place where there wasn't lycanthropy and pain and family issues. I pinched the bridge of my nose and sighed. I couldn't stay awake much longer.

My eyes started to close ever so slowly. _No!_ I willed myself. _Stay awake! I have to see her!_ But exhaustion finally won and I closed my eyes.

While I was sleeping, all I could see was her face, swimming in the darkness. That was usually all I saw, so this wasn't out of the ordinary. But suddenly, I felt something like relaxation overcome me. I didn't know what was causing it, but I felt a million times better. Something in my brain told me that my physical body was being caressed by someone. Who? Surely not her.

All the pain and hurt left me. I was in total bliss. Someone was running their fingers through my hair, and rubbing my arms and scarred face. I don't exactly know how long this went on, but long enough for it to be time for me to wake up.

The sun was shining through the windows of the common room, making the whole place have the golden glow of early morning. I sat up and stretched my arms above my head and yawned. I rubbed my eyes, then looked around. I couldn't believe what I saw.

She was sitting on my couch, her head rested against the back of it, legs in Indian style. My head had been lying in her lap. She looked extremely uncomfortable, sitting there in that awkward position. I reached over and pulled her legs out from under her and threw my blanket over her. I stood up and sat down on the couch next to her. I stared at her for awhile, thinking. Why had my head ended up in her lap? Was she the one who had been caressing me in my sleep? It surely couldn't have been Sirius, or James for that matter. That would just be creepy. It had to have been her. But why?

All too soon, she stirred. The sun made her blonde hair shine beautifully in the morning light. She sat up and rubbed her eyes, then looked around. Those dark brown orbs landed on me.

"Remus?" she asked groggily.

"Me," I said, simply. Wait. God, I'm such a dumbass. _Me? _Really? God I felt stupid.

"Wha-" ,she was interrupted by a yawn, "What am I doing down here?" she finished.

"I was going to ask you the same question," I said, smiling at how pretty she looked. "What _are_ you doing down here?"

"I have no idea…" she trailed off. "Wait…" Then her eyes widened, full of realization. I guess she had remembered why she was down here. She didn't speak, so I decided to break the ice.

"Were you the one who was massaging me last night?" I asked. She didn't answer for a minute.

"Yes," she said, not looking at me.

"Why?"

"I dunno… You looked so…pained. You looked like you had been hit by the Hogwarts Express and I… I… wanted you to feel better," she explained.

"Thank you…" I said, looking away because I knew I was blushing. "Thank you very much."

"It was nothing…" she said, and I saw her look up at me in my peripheral vision. I blushed even more.

"You know… I don't think I said Happy Birthday to you yesterday," I said, finally looking at her.

"Thanks…" she said, dreamily as we locked eyes. She stared at me and I got to stare back at her. Those gorgeous brown eyes bore into my amber ones. She was smiling. I knew I was beaming. I got to take in every detail of her, from her ruffled blonde hair to her mismatching socks, one pink zebra striped, one solid purple. Then, all of a sudden, the slamming of a door from one of the dorms made us break our gazes. It had just lasted a moment, but a moment was all it took for me to realize…

I had fallen in love with Nymphadora Tonks.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I'm particularly proud of this one! What do you think? Should I do a Remus POV every once in awhile? Gimme some feedback! XD

Yeah…. I know. Last line = kinda cheesy. ^.^

Without you guys, this probably wouldn't be happening, so thanks SOO much for supporting me! I am forever grateful!

If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to PM me! I will answer ANYTHING! I just would love more author/reader interaction! Goodnight! (:

PLEASE REVIEW!

XOXO


	19. Chapter 18

_*Tonks's POV*_

The next morning, I was awoken by the blazing sunlight streaming through the windows in the common room. My legs were terribly stiff and there was a crick in my neck. I didn't remember laying down before falling asleep last night, and I also remembered that Remus's head had been in my lap. What had happened? Where was he?

I sat up, rubbed my eyes and looked around. They immediately landed on Remus, who was sitting on the couch next to mine. He sat there with a look of happiness upon his scarred face. He didn't look much better than he had yesterday, which worried me.

"Remus?" I asked groggily.

"Me," me said simply, with a small smile. The morning sun made his light brown hair shine golden and it was beautiful.

"Wha-", I was interrupted by a yawn. "What am I doing down here?" I finished.

"I was going to ask you the same question," he said, smiling for no apparent reason. "What _are_ you doing down here?"

"I have no idea…" I trailed off. "Wait…" I had suddenly remembered why I had decided to sleep down here last night: I had stayed down here with Remus, to comfort him. I knew it had something to do with him, but I couldn't put my wand on it until this moment. I was shocked. Had I really done that?

"Were you the one who was massaging me last night?" he asked, and I blushed. I felt so embarrassed. I didn't know he knew he had been caressed last night. I thought he wouldn't be able to tell. I felt like an idiot.

"Yes," I answered, looking away from him.

"Why?"

"I dunno… You looked so… pained. You looked like you had been hit by the Hogwarts Express and I… I wanted you to feel better," I explained. I felt ridiculous.

"Thank you…" he said, looking away. "Thank you very much."

"It was nothing…" I said, looking up at him, and I saw he had turned away.

"You know… I don't think I said Happy Birthday to you yesterday," he said, turning back to look at me.

"Thanks…" I said dreamily as we locked eyes. He stared at me and I stared at him. I noticed every little detail about him, from the three buttons that were unbuttoned on his white button-up shirt to the way his amber eyes sparkled beautifully in the morning light. My face hurt from smiling so much and he was grinning from ear to ear. Then, all of a sudden, the slamming of a door from one of the dorms made us break our gazes. I never wanted that moment to end.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The next few weeks passed without incident. Although, it was a little more awkward between me and Remus… I hadn't told anybody about our little "sleepover" and we didn't talk about it. I tried to act normal around him, but it was proving to be difficult.

But, life goes on, and before I knew it, it was Christmastime again! Oh, how I had missed Christmas at the castle, with snow piled high on the grounds, the beautiful decorations, and Christmas carols being sung in the corridors. The time again came for me to decide where I wanted to spend Christmas this year…

Sasha and Aaron had warned me that mum was probably going to make me come home for Christmas this year, and I really hoped they were joking. But unfortunately, they were not. I didn't even get to decide this year! My mum argued that I got to stay at the castle last year and she wanted to have a nice family Christmas this year. I argued that all of my friends were staying at the castle for Christmas, but she wouldn't hear it. So, on the last day before Christmas break, I was up in my dorm packing.

"Stupid. Mother," I said, throwing clothes in my trunk.

"Tonks, why are you so upset about spending Christmas at home?" Lily asked, neatly folding one of her jumpers and placing it nicely in her trunk.

"I wanted to stay here!" I said, searching for a sock I had dropped.

"But why? Isn't Christmas at home any fun?" she asked incredulously.

"Not really. My brothers are right little gits, they are," I said, giving up on trying to find the sock and standing up.

"I thought you and your brothers got along," Lydia chimed in.

"Sometimes," I muttered. "But other times I wish I could push them down a hill."

"Why?" Lily asked.

"Because they annoy the crap out of me!" I said, turning around to face the girls and sitting on the edge of my bed. "Sasha thinks he's so good, yanno, prefect and lots of O.W.L.S. and all. Aaron is about as mature and James and Sirius on a bad day…"

"But aren't James and Sirius your friends?" Lily asked, cocking an eyebrow.

"Well… yes," I said, shrugging. "I mean, Aaron just does immature in an annoying way. James and Sirius are actually funny."

"If that's what you say…" Lily muttered. I turned around back to my trunk and decided not to answer. I knew she didn't like James and Sirius and I didn't need her to go off ranting about them now.

"Well… let's just say, I'd rather stay here," I said, hoping I could end the conversation there, but Lydia had different ideas.

"Is it because of Remus?"

I froze in the middle of refolding the jumbled mess at the bottom of my trunk.

"Why do you ask that?" I asked, my voice a little weak.

"Because you like him, right?" Lydia said.

"No…." I said, turning back around. "Where do you get that idea?"

"Tonks…" Lily said, smiling. "We can just tell."

"How?" I asked, laughing.

"Well… Let's just say, it is wiped across your face. You might as well have a sign that says 'I like Remus Lupin' because it's that obvious," Lily said, chuckling.

"It's wiped across my face?" I asked, blushing.

"Well… more like your eyes," Lily explained. "They dance when you see him. And you smile around him. A lot."

"Wow…" I breathed. Was it that obvious?

"But I don't think he knows," Lily continued.

"I guess that's a good thing, huh?" I said, chuckling a little.

"So you admit it?" Lily asked. I took a deep breath and weighed my options.

"Yes, I do," I said, looking down at my feet.

"Awwwe! See I told you Lydia!" Lily said, smiling.

"But don't tell anyone, okay?" I said, holding up my hands to stop Lily from jumping with joy.

"We promise we wont," Lily said, and Lydia nodded.

"Thanks guys," I said, smiling. I soon had to say goodbye to the boys for a few weeks and it was hard. Not just because of Remus, but because I would miss all four of them.

The train ride home, was boring. Lily and Lydia weren't as exciting as the boys were. I looked out the window most of the time, daydreaming about being back at the castle with my friends. We would've had snowball fights, made forts, and opened presents together.. Curse my mother.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed it!

This one is… meh. Okay. What do you think?(:

PLEASE REVIEW!

XOXO


	20. Chapter 19

_*Remus's POV*_

I sat there on a couch in the common room, watching the portrait hole she had just walked out of. Why did she have to go home for Christmas? I sighed deeply and looked away.

"Sad, huh?" Sirius asked casually, flipping the page of his magazine.

"About…?" I asked, although I already knew the answer.

"Tonks leaving," James said, looking up at me from his book, _Quidditch Though the Ages._

"I mean, yeah I'm disappointed, aren't you?" I said, hoping the conversation wouldn't turn in the direction it was destined to.

"I mean yeah, of course. But you're _sad_ aren't you?" Sirius said, chuckling. "You wanted to spend Christmas with her, didn't you?"

"She's my friend, of course I did," I said, looking down into my lap.

"Remus, Remus, Remus…" James said, getting up and sitting on the arm of my chair, patting my back. "We all know about your little crush. You don't need to hide."

"You guys squeezed it out of me!" I said, standing up and walking over to the window.

"Yeah… We did," Sirius admitted, still casual.

"So you don't deny it?" James asked.

"Of course I don't," I said, watching the carriages pull away from the castle and drive off in the direction of Hogsmede. "I already told you guys all of this, we don't need to go over it again."

"Fine… We'll let you off the hook," James said, chuckling. "For now."

I sighed, my eyes still on the carriages. The snow was falling heavily now and I could feel the intense cold through the window. I wondered if she was warm enough.

"So, how ya feeling Remus?" James asked.

"Uhhh… Well, a bit under the weather actually," I said, and it was true. The full moon had been only a few days ago.

"You're always under the weather," Sirius blurted out.

"I won't deny, I'm sick quite a bit," I said, wanting this conversation to end so badly.

"It's just a bit odd, don't you think?" Sirius said. I looked down at my scarred hands and felt a surge of shame. These hands would never be worthy enough to hold hers.

"A bit odd, yes," I admitted.

"Not to pry or anything," James asked. "But, is there something actually wrong with you?"

I froze. The moment had arrived. They were asking questions. And soon, I would be giving answers. Then they would leave me. That's how it goes when you're a werewolf. I suddenly thought of the possibility of them telling her my secret. They couldn't. I wouldn't be left with no one. My family had already deserted me, but God please, not my friends. Not her.

"Uhm, well…" I started. "Yeah. There's something wrong with me."

"What is it?" Sirius asked, and I heard the rustle of paper and guessed he had set his magazine down. I took a deep breath and turned around to face them.

"Um… I… I would prefer not to… not to talk about it…" I said, looking down at my feet.

"Oh," I heard James say. "Sorry about that."

"Yeah," Sirius chimed in. "Sorry Remus."

"It's fine guys," I said, looking up at them. "Don't worry about it."

There was an awkward silence that filled the room. In that silence, I turned back around and saw the Hogwarts Express pulling out of the station. I sighed. There was no turning back now.

"I'm bored," Sirius said loudly, breaking the silence.

"Me too," James agreed.

"Let's pull a prank," Sirius suggested.

"Yeah! Let's do that!" James exclaimed, and of course Peter agreed. I was a bit wary of this new idea personally. I didn't want to get into trouble.

"What are we gonna do?" James asked.

"Hmmm…" Sirius said. The Hogwarts Express was no longer in view, so I turned around and watched them thinking.

"I got it!" James exclaimed. "Why don't we steal old Sluggy's tarts?"

"Yeah! Man, he's gonna be so pissed!" Sirius exclaimed.

"And how do you think you're going to go about doing this?" I asked incredulously.

"Well… Why don't we sneak down there, open the door, take the tarts then leave?" Sirius said, obviously proud with his idea.

"Well don't you think Professor Slughorn would notice four teenage boys sneaking into his office and taking his tarts?" I said, pointing out the obvious.

"Well duh, that's why we're going to _sneak_ into his office," James said.

"It doesn't work that way," I said, slapping my palm to my forehead. How could they be this stupid?

"Why not?" Sirius asked.

"Okay, here we go," I said, a sudden idea coming to mind. "Why don't I go down and ask him about an assignment in the hall while you guys sneak in and take the tart? Sound good?" I said.

"Yeah, excellent, beautiful. Now let's go before I blow my brains out," Sirius said sarcastically.

So we crept down into the dungeons and James, Sirius, and Peter positioned themselves behind a wall, where they could listen but not be seen. As soon as I got Slughorn out of his office, they would sneak in. I couldn't believe I was about to do this. I took a deep breath and knocked.

"Who's there?" I heard him call from inside.

"It's Remus Lupin, sir," I called back. "I have a question about the paper you assigned over break."

I heard him rumble and suddenly, the door flung open and there he stood, decked out in his silky emerald green pajamas.

"What is it?" he asked, obviously upset he was being visited this late at night.

"Well…" I said, stepping out into the hall and pulling my essay from my pocket. "I was wondering if I was on the right track here."

He stepped out into the hallway after me and over his shoulder, I saw the other boys run into his office. I figured I had to keep him stalled for another minute or so. I wasn't really listening to what he had to say. My essay was almost done anyway. All I could think about was how guilty I felt. Professor Slughorn was a nice guy and a good teacher.

Suddenly, the other boys ran out of the office with the tarts and I knew I was good. I heard him come to an end in his explanation.

"Thank you very much sir," I said. "Goodnight, sir."

"Goodnight Richard," I heard him mumble.

"Remus, sir," I corrected him.

"Oh I'm so sorry Roger," he said, walking back into his office. I just let it go.

I walked back up to Gryffindor tower where the other boys had retreated to. I pushed open the portrait hole and heard sounds of roaring laughter.

"Remus! We got it!" I heard Sirius exclaim.

"Nice one mate!" James said, clapping me on the back as I walked over. I looked down onto a coffee table and saw the box tarts.

"Let's try one!" Sirius said, ripping open the box and taking a tart from within. James and Peter grabbed one as well.

"On the count of three," Sirius said, holding his tart in front of his mouth. "One… Two… Three!' he exclaimed and they all bit down.

It was quite funny to see their expressions as they chewed. They looked like they had downed an entire bottle of Skele-Grow, which doesn't taste good at all.

"Oh… my… God," James choked, spitting his out.

"Gross!" Sirius exclaimed, spitting his out as well. I chuckled. So the prank had been for nothing. I didn't mind though. I got to laugh at their faces as they tried to wash the taste out of their mouths.

I sat down on a couch and watched them run around like chickens with their heads cut off. I smiled to myself. Then, out of nowhere, I remembered her, and felt a pang of sadness knowing she was missing out on all the good memories. I reached down into my pocket and pulled out a small silver box with a white bow on top. I examined how precisely I had wrapped it and how neatly I had written her name on the tag. _Nymphadora Tonks._ I opened it and looked down at the earrings that lay inside. I sighed. I had been very excited about giving this to her, but I had never gotten the chance… she had left. I closed the box with a snap and placed it in my pocket again. I looked back out the window. She was out there somewhere. So close, but so far away.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Another Remus POV! Watcha think?

PLEASE REVIEW!

XOXO


	21. Chapter 20

_*Remus's POV*_

James and Sirius seemed to think that pranking everyone in the whole castle was a life or death situation. Over the course of the week before Christmas, they had pranked everyone in our year, a few older students, and a few more teachers. Since I was their friend, I felt obligated to help with the pranks. I didn't want them to go get detention, which they would've without me helping, of course.

I had been laying on the couch in the Gryffindor common room, gazing lazily into the fire on a snowy white Christmas Eve. We had just returned from the feast before James and Sirius had decided to go the Owlery. I was too tired to go along with them, so I just hung back and asked them to get my mail, if I had any. I didn't expect any presents from my family this year.

All of a sudden, the portrait hole burst open and James and Sirius rushed inside.

"Remus! Remus! Remus! It's Tonks!" I heard James shout.

"What?" I exclaimed, standing up. "What about her?"

"She's sick!" Sirius said, waving a letter in front of his face. "Sick with spattergroit!"

"What?" I asked again, grabbing the letter from Sirius and scanning it quickly. It was a letter from her, explaining how she had contracted spattergroit and wouldn't be able to return to school for a few months. "How the hell did she contract spattergroit?"

"We have no idea," James said. "It wasn't in the letter."

I looked down at the letter once more and examined how messy her handwriting was. You could tell she had written it in a hurry because some of her e's and a's weren't closed off. I thought it was a bit cute. But then my eyes then drifted to who the letter had been addressed to.

_Remus,_

"You guys opened my mail?" I asked, turning around to face the others.

"Well…" James started.

"Yeah, we did," Sirius said with not event the slightest bit of remorse.

"Guys!" I said, shaking the letter for emphasis.

"Hey! Don't be mad at us! You gotta concentrate on your girl!" James said, slapping my arm as he walked by to sit down. I guess he was right. I wished more than anything that I could've been there with her. I wondered how she was dealing with it. Was she in much pain? Was she suffering? Was she warm enough, fed enough, loved enough? I couldn't answer any of those questions and it frustrated me. I folded the letter and put it carefully into the breast pocket on my white button-up.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Christmas at the castle wasn't as merry this year. Of course I still had a lot of fun with the guys, but my thoughts never drifted far from her, sick somewhere far away. At night, after everyone else went to sleep, I would take her letter out and reread it. After so many nights, I had memorized it but kept reading it anyway. She had told me _not to worry_ and _I'll be fine_, but I was worried and I wasn't sure if she was fine. I almost considered writing back but I didn't know if she would be able to write.

One night, we were sitting around the fire in the common room, James and Sirius plotting their newest prank with Peter looking over their shoulders, and me pouring over the spattergroit section in a huge book full of wizarding ailments.

"You know, spattergroit is fatal?" I said after I had finished reading the article.

"It is?" James said, not looking up. He seemed to have no interest in what I was saying. "Didn't know that."

"But there are cures," I said, looking back down into the book. "And it says if they catch it early on and if they treat it well, you can be fully recovered in around… three months."

"Three months, huh?" Sirius said, acting exactly like James, like he didn't care.

"Are you guys even listening?" I asked, a bit angered. "You know, your best friend just isn't home sick with spattergroit at all, and everything is fine and dandy!"

"Remus… we were listening," James said, finally looking up at me.

"Then what did I say?" I asked, sure that I was going to catch them off guard.

"Um… Well…" James said, looking at Sirius for inspiration.

"You have no clue, do you?" I said.

"Yeah…" James said, running his fingers through his hair. "Sorry mate."

"Never mind…" I said, looking out the window at the snowy grounds. "I'll be worried about Tonks all by myself."

"Remus, were worried about her too!" Sirius said, standing up. "I can barely sleep at night I'm so worried about her!"

"Doesn't show…" I muttered, looking back down to reread the article. I heard Sirius sigh and throw himself back on the couch. I knew they wanted to say something, but I was still in the room.

"You know what," I said, standing up. "I'll just go to bed."

"G'night Remus," James and Sirius said in unison.

"Goodnight guys," I said, picking up the book and taking it with me. It took me a while to climb the stairs to my dorm. The full moon was only a few days ago and I was terribly fatigued and achy.

Once I got into my dorm, I set the book down on my nightstand with the other dozen books on it, then laid down on my bed, fully dressed. I took a few deep breaths to calm myself down. I shouldn't have gotten so angry at them. I guess werewolves just were hot heads.

To be honest, I had never been "trained", for lack of a better word, to be a werewolf. My parents never told me what was normal or what exactly I would be going through. I had to do a lot of guessing when I was young. Even now that I'm almost 13, I still have to do a lot of guessing. I guessed that being a bit of a hot head was a symptom of lycanthropy.

I remembered when I had blown up at Tonks last year after she had helped me out with Marcus before Quidditch. I shouldn't have done that. I had no idea what had taken over me, but when I was ranting, the words weren't my own. They were thoughts I had been having for a long time, but had never voiced.

I took the letter out of my pocket and read it again. I wondered when she would be back. According to the article I had just read, it sounded like three months. Three months from now would be the end of March. _Three months._ Three months without her.

I heard the door open and before I could hide the letter, James and Sirius had entered.

"Remus?" James asked, coming over to my bed. "I'm sorry about what happened downstairs."

"Me too," I muttered, picking at a loose thread in my comforter. "Don't… don't worry about it." There was an awkward silence.

"What were you reading, mate?" Sirius asked, trying to lighten the conversation. It took me a few seconds to answer. Should I lie?

"Tonks's letter," I admitted, pulling it out from under my pillow again.

James and Sirius just stared at me for a second.

"You really miss her, don't you?" James said. His eyes were serious and sympathetic. Not mischievous and laughing like they usually were.

"I do," I said, and my voice broke.

"But, isn't it like summer?" Sirius said, sitting on the edge of my bed. "I mean, during the summer, she's gone for two months."

"Yeah but I know she's well then," I said, sitting up. "She could be dying for all we know."

"She's not dying," James said.

"How do you know?" I asked incredulously as a single tear fell onto my cheek.

"Because we just got a letter from her," James said, holding up an envelope that had been opened. "And this time, it was addressed to _My boys,_ so technically, we didn't read your mail," James said, handing the letter over to me. I took it and scanned it quickly. This wasn't written in her handwriting.

"The letter says," Sirius butted in. "That her mother had to write it because she lost control of her right arm."

I finished reading it and another tear fell out of my eye and onto the paper.

"You can keep it, mate," James said, slapping my arm and walking over to his bed to change into his pajamas.

The letter said that she was slowly improving. She was slowly gaining back the movement in her toes, fingers, and wrists. But she was still pretty bad. They had caught it early enough that she was able to get treatment fairly quickly. It also said she had been transferred to St. Mungo's for a few weeks. And at the end of the letter, there was a P.S.

_P.S. This is Nymphadora's mother. If you boys could come and visit her sometime soon, she would greatly appreciate that. I know she is still contagious, but St. Mungo's has been kind enough to brew a potion for me and my husband so we won't be infected as well. I'm sure they would brew a few for you boys. She has been asking about you constantly. _

_-Andromeda Tonks._

Sorry! I was too tired to finish it last night! Hope you enjoyed!

PLEASE REVIEW.

XOXO


	22. Chapter 21

_*Tonk's POV* _

My whole body was weak and achy. My head was throbbing, and I felt very lightheaded. I was shivering even though I was covered in a mountain of blankets. I felt like I was going to die.

"Remus…" I muttered. "Remus…" I had no idea what had prompted me to say his name at that moment, but I felt as if I needed to.

"He's coming today, honey," my mother said, stroking my hair. "He'll be here today, don't worry."

"James…" I said weakly.

"He's coming too," my mother crooned, smiling down at me. "And Sirius. All of your little friends."

I turned my head away from her as a tear leaked out of my eye and down my cheek. I wanted to see them so badly but didn't want them to see me in this condition. My hair was limp and brown; my face had an unhealthy pallor to it. There were dark circles under my eyes and my eyes themselves were bloodshot. What would they think?

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Remus's POV*_

After we had been checked into the hospital, we got ushered upstairs and corralled into a room where the potion was waiting for us. We each took a seat on a hard plastic chair. I looked over at the cauldron and watched it froth and bubble before I heard the door open and a young witch stepped inside.

"Hello boys," she said, looking down at her clipboard. "James Potter?"

"Yes?" James said, straightening up.

"You'll be going first," she said, walking over to the cauldron and spooning out a cup full of bright purple potion. "Drink up."

James drained his glass in one gulp. He didn't look too terribly repulsed, which was a good sign. He set the cup down on a counter and sat back down next to Sirius.

"Peter Pettigrew?" the witch said.

"Um… He wasn't able to make it," James said. It was true, Peter had decided at the last minute not to go because he didn't like sick people. I thought he was being a wimp, but I let it go.

"Okay…" the witch said, crossing something off on her clip board. "Sirius Black."

Sirius stoop up, watched her as she poured his potion, then took his cup. He drained it in one gulp as well. He slammed down the cup on the counter as if he was proud of himself.

"Alright…" the witch said, writing something down. After a few seconds she said, "Remus Lupin."

I stood up and looked down into the cauldron full of the bright purple potion. As the witch was filling my cup, I turned to look at James and Sirius for reassurance but they weren't looking at me. Their eyes were fixed on the young witch's backside as she bent over the cauldron.

"Hey!" I whispered, snapping in front of their faces. They looked up at me with confused expressions.

"What was that for?" Sirius whispered back. "She has a nice ass!"

"Sirius!" I whispered, stepping in between them and the witch. "This. Is. A. Hospital!"

"Yeah Sirius…" James said, smirking.

"You too!" I said, glaring down at James.

"Ha-ha James…" Sirius said. I glared down at him too.

"Mr. Lupin?" the witch called. I turned around and took my glass. I looked down at the liquid bubbling inside. I didn't know why I was so weary of this potion. I had taken so many in my lifetime I should be used to it by now. I brought the glass up to my lips and drained it. The potion didn't taste bad oddly enough; it tasted like chocolate milk.

"Alright boys, I shall be back in ten minutes so the potion can take affect before I take you up to Ms. Tonks's room. Okay?" she said, turning to leave.

"Thank you," I said, nodding my head in her direction.

"Yeah," Sirius said. "_Thanks a lot_…" he said as he and James watched her again as she walked out of the room, closing the door.

"You two are pigs," I commented, chuckling.

"What?" Sirius said incredulously. "You gotta admit she was hot, Remus!" he said, indicating the door she had just walked out of.

"No, I didn't," I said, crossing my arms.

"Whatever," James said. "But I agree with Sirius."

I rolled my eyes and chuckled. We sat there for ten more minutes, James and Sirius goofing around. I had to keep them under control because they could set the place on fire if they weren't careful. They probably would've thought that was hilarious. Suddenly, the young witch returned.

"Common boys," she called. We got up and followed her out of the room, although I don't think James and Sirius were watching where they were going.

"Get a hold of yourselves," I whispered through gritted teeth as we rounded a corner into a new ward. The witch led us up to a door that had a dry-erase board on it that read:

_Nymphadora Tonks. Spattergroit. Healer: Marcy McWhite. _

"Do you happen to be Marcy?" Sirius asked the witch with a bucket load of Sirius charm.

"Yes," she replied, cocking an eyebrow. "Why?"

"Oh I was just wondering," Sirius said, smirking at James.

"Oh. Okay.. Well.. Right in here boys," she said, opening the door.

We stepped into a dimly-lit room with one window that was partially open to the grey sky above. After examining the room, I then looked down at the bed in front of me. On either side of it sat her parents, her mother holding her hand and her father looking tired and grim. I then looked at her, something I didn't want to see, but had to. She lay there, her whole body covered in the usual spattergroit spots. Her face was as white as mine after a full moon and she had dark circles under those beautiful eyes. She could've been dead. Her metamorphic abilities seemed to have stopped working so her hair lay like a puddle of mud around her head. She wasn't moving, just laying there as still as a corpse.

I turned to look at James and Sirius who seemed to have lost all color too, their jaws hanging slightly open. Mrs. Tonks looked up at us and smiled. She looked sleep deprived and weary.

"Hello boys," she said weakly, leaving her daughter's side and standing up to greet us. "I'm Mrs. Tonks, I'm sure you remember me."

"Hullo," James and Sirius said absentmindedly. I was still staring at her daughter.

"She has been asking for you for days now," Mrs. Tonks continued in an undertone. "Especially you Remus."

My throat closed up for a second and I thought I was going to cry but I held myself together. I tore my eyes away from her and looked at her mother.

"You can go see her if you would like," she said, turning back to look at her daughter. I was the first one to step forward. I walked over and took her mother's seat. She looked even worse up close. I took her hand just as I had when she was getting her wrist fixed in the hospital wing. I took it up to my face and closed my eyes tightly as a tear leaked out and lay glistening on her hand. Then she stirred.

"Remus…" she muttered.

"I'm here," I said weakly, pulling away from her hand and looking at her face. She opened her eyes and they landed on me.

_*Tonks's POV*_

When I opened my eyes I saw him. Remus. Sitting next to me, holding my hand. I felt a wave of happiness and comfort wash over me.

"Remus," I breathed, trying to sit up.

"No, don't do that honey!" the healer said, rushing over to me and pushing me back down into the bed. "Don't over exert yourself."

"I've missed you," I said, looking back at Remus, ignoring the witch.

"I've missed you too," he said, and I saw a tear slide down his cheek.

"Why are crying?" I asked and he looked down into his lap.

"I've missed you so much," he choked out. "I was so worried about you."

"Don't cry," I said, wanting to hug him so badly but not daring to under the watchful eye of healer McWhite.

"I'm sorry," he said, wiping his face with his free hand.

"Don't be sorry for crying," I said, smiling weakly at him. He let out a small laugh. Suddenly I heard:

"Hey Tonksie," from someone else in the room. I turned and saw James and Sirius at the foot of my bed. I had no idea they were even here. I had forgotten about everyone else for a second.

"Hey boys," I said as they walked over.

"How're you feeling," James asked.

"Better now that you're here," I said, looking around at all of them.

So, for a few hours, all thoughts of being sick fled my mind. Sitting around with my friends made the pain go away. But even as we sat there together, Remus never let go of my hand, and I couldn't stop smiling.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I like this one! ^.^

PLEASE REVIEW!

XOXO


	23. Chapter 22

_*Remus's POV*_

I couldn't stand leaving her there. Every inch of my being wanted to stay there with her, but healer McWhite would never allow it. Goodbyes were short and sweet and to the point because she was slowly drifting off to sleep.

"See ya, Tonksie," Sirius said, leaning down to hug her. "Come back soon."

"I would come back right now if I could," she said weakly.

"Feel better," James said, leaning down to hug her as well.

"Bye James," she said into his shoulder.

It was then my turn to bid farewell to the lovely Tonks. She turned to look up at me with her big, beautiful brown eyes, full of apprehension and sadness. I couldn't make a sound.

"Goodbye Remus," she said, opening her arms to give me a hug. I leaned forward and wrapped my arms around her neck, never wanting to let go. Her frail arms could barely latch around my waist as she tried very hard to hug me.

"Goodbye Tonks," I said, still wrapped around her. I didn't ever want to let go.

"Well… Common boys," I heard healer McWhite say, clearing her throat. "Professor Dumbledore is expecting you in ten minutes."

I finally let go of her and looked down into her pale face, covered in spattergroit spots.

"Goodbye," I whispered so that only she could hear.

"Goodbye," she whispered back, and I was swept from the room.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Tonks did end up being at St. Mungo's for three months. Me and the boys got to go visit her on weekends and sometimes in the evenings after classes. With each visit, she improved. After a month or so, her spots seemed to be going away. After two, they were mere scars. When three months rolled around, she was no longer contagious and could walk again. I was so proud of her for being so strong. She was truly amazing, she was.

One night in early April, we were all sitting around the fire, relaxing after a hard day of classes and Quidditch lessons. Sirius was lounging on the couch next to me, reading a muggle sports magazine.

"Why do you read those, Sirius?" James asked. I looked up from the book I had been immersed in, and saw James peeking at the cover of Sirius's magazine.

"Coz it's interesting," Sirius said. "Have you ever read one?"

"Nope," James said, throwing himself back on his couch and picking up _Quidditch through the Ages _again. "And I don't intend to."

"You should," Sirius said, flipping a page. "Have you ever heard of rugby?"

"Nope," James said, trying to concentrate on his book.

"What about you, Remus?" Sirius asked, turning to me. "Have you ever heard of rugby?"

"Umm.. Mighta heard of it," I said, shifting myself to face Sirius. "What is it anyway?"

"Well…" Sirius said, and then went off on a long explanation of the game of rugby. I soon wished I hadn't asked the question at all.

All of a sudden, the portrait hole opened and we heard:

"Hey boys."

Sirius stopped in the middle of his explanation and turned to see who had entered. James also sat up and looked. I immediately knew who it was, just from the voice. I looked up with a feeling a happiness rising in my chest, making my heart beat faster. It was _her._

There she stood, beaming around at all of us, with curly ginger hair and her dark brown eyes. She looked happier than I had ever seen her; she looked glad to be back.

"TONKSIE!" Sirius exclaimed, standing up and bounding over to her. "You're alive!"

"Of course I am, silly," she said as he went to hug her.

"God Tonksie," Sirius continued, pulling away from her. "I've missed you!"

"I've missed you too, Black, I've missed you too," she said, still beaming.

"What about me?" James asked with an expression of fake shock.

"I've missed you too, four eyes!" she said, hugging him tightly as well.

She then turned to me and we locked eyes. Her smile broadened.

"Well?" she asked, opening her arms to hug me. "Come 'ere, Remus."

I ran over to her and wrapped my arms tightly around her waist. I felt her arms wrap tightly around my neck and I thought we would never be pulled apart. I inhaled her scent, which the sweetest smelling thing I have ever smelt.

"I've missed having you around," I said into her shoulder.

"I've missed seeing you every day," she whispered.

"Okay common love birds," Sirius said and we pulled apart to look at him.

"Sirius!" Tonks said, turning on him. She still wouldn't take anyone's crap. She was still my little spitfire.

"Hey," he said, holding up his hands in front of him. "I was just joking."

"You better have been," she said, and her expression softened and she smiled.

We all went and sat on our couches, James and Sirius on their own and Tonks and I sharing one. Peter had been sent to the hospital wing earlier today after James had whacked him in the face with a broomstick.

It felt amazing to have Tonks back. I felt like we were whole again; a big happy family. We talked and laughed and joked just as we had before she left. I couldn't get enough of it. I looked sideways at her and saw the way the firelight illuminated her face and eyes. She looked truly radiant, all signs of sickness gone.

"So did they ever find out how you got spattergroit?" James asked about an hour or so later.

"Nope," she said, taking a bite of an apple Sirius had snuck down to the kitchens to get for her.

"That's not surprising," I said. "St. Mungo's fails society once again." The words had left my mouth before I had even thought about it. Of course I was mentioning my lycanthropy.

When I was first bitten, I was taken to St. Mungo's, of course. I was only six. The doctors almost lost me to blood loss at first, but they eventually saved me with a blood-replenishing potion. That was all in the first hour.

The first night, my wound became infected and started bleeding and oozing again. They didn't have a clue of what to do with me then. They tried everything but eventually had to give me another blood-replenishing potion, which shouldn't be given to small children in large doses.

Then, of course, I got sick from the blood-replenishing potion. I started throwing up and having seizures along with my bite wound still being infected. They had to treat my symptoms with another potion. Eventually, they got my symptoms from the overdose of blood-replenishing potion under control and my wound bandaged up.

In the first week, they told my parents I probably wouldn't live. I slipped into a coma for a few days and they couldn't revive me. I got out of it by myself, proving my will to live.

In the first month, they told my parents there was no cure and I would have to suffer the rest of my life. They tried many different concoctions and potions and treatments but they all failed. Not a thing worked and I went through my first full moon alone. That's when I lost hope in St. Mungo's. They didn't know a damn thing, well at least the lycanthropy healers. If you wanted to know about being a werewolf, ask a real one, not a healer.

Everyone's eyes immediately locked on me.

"Why do you say that?" Sirius asked, cocking an eyebrow.

"Um…" I said, shifting nervously in my seat. "Well… let's just say they haven't given me any excellent care in the past."

"For what?" Tonks asked.

"Nothing," I lied quickly. Sirius sighed.

"Remus… We all know something is wrong with you," he said. "Just tell us."

I closed my eyes and thought hard for a second. Should I? No. Wait. Yes? Where was the trust in friendship if I kept my secret any longer? They would surely find out eventually.

"I'm… I'm a…" I said, but before I could finish my sentence, the portrait hold burst open and in walked Tonks's brother, Aaron.

I almost got up and kicked over the table, swore, punched somebody. It was my second failed attempt to reveal my secret. It would have to wait… But I could barely keep it in any longer. I would have to tell someone, and soon.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

What do you think? I don't know about this one… hmmm… Tell me what you think!

PLEASE REVIEW!

XOXO


	24. Chapter 23

_Everything has beauty, but not everybody can see it. -unknown_

_XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX_

_*Tonks's POV*_

Being back at Hogwarts was the most amazing thing ever. I felt complete again, as if I had never left. Being back around my boys and other friends truly was the best feeling. I even embraced the classes and homework again with open arms. I loved being yelled at by Professor McGonagall to spit out my gum and pay attention. It was all a part of being back at school.

But alas, before I knew it, our second year was drawing to a close. I only got three more months to enjoy Hogwarts after I returned before I had to leave yet again. I only had five more years of schooling to complete, and when you laid that out in perspective, that was nothing. Before I knew it, I would be taking my O.W.L.S. and N.E.W.T.S, ready to leave school and start a career. To be honest, I hadn't even the foggiest idea of what I wanted to do when I left school.

Packing was a slow and somber affair for me. But being crowded upstairs with four other girls, all trying to pack all of their possessions at once, was quite a scene. Scarlet freaked out when she thought she had lost her curling iron and blamed it on me. Lily couldn't find an earring her mother had given her. Lydia's skirt had some mysterious stain on it, and no one seemed to know what it is. May had ripped one set of school robes right in half. It was compete chaos.

The next morning was even worse. Trying to double check packing and searching under beds and overturning mattresses looking for lost items and the slamming of trunks and the hooting of owls and the mewing of cats drove me bonkers. I was trying not to make a scene but might have been a bit rude to Scarlet and May. Maybe just a little bit.

It was a relief to get away from four catty girls for once and hang out with my boys on the train. We had a compartment to ourselves and got to stretch out and relax. Another year over.

We played our favorite time-wasting games such as Gobstones and Wizard Chess and Exploding Snap. James and Sirius tried once again to make cow friends as we passed another farm. They were cracking me up; I was laughing so hard that tears leaked out of my eyes.

But other than that, it was a quiet ride home. But if I remembered one thing from that train ride, it was one specific conversation. Remus had to go use the restroom and left me, James, Sirius, and Peter alone in the compartment. As soon as Remus was out of earshot, James and Sirius looked at each other with mischievous grins wiped across their faces.

"What is it?" I asked, looking between the two identical faces.

"We figured out what's wrong with Remus," Sirius blurted out.

"What?" I said, leaning forward. "You didn't!"

"We did," James said, nodding his head.

"How?" I asked incredulously.

"Well…" James said, looking at Sirius. "Let's just say we pieced together a puzzle."

"It's quite obvious when you really think about it," Sirius added.

I thought about it for a second and nothing came to mind. I cocked an eyebrow.

"Are you lying?" I asked, and I knew perfectly well that they could be. James and Sirius were notorious liars, and they were good at it.

"No!" James said, looking offended. "Of course not!'

"Yeah," Sirius said, agreeing with James. "We wouldn't lie about something like this."

"Well…?" I asked.

"What?" Sirius replied.

"What's the secret?" I exclaimed.

"We can't tell you," James said, crossing his arms.

"Awww… Common?" I asked, batting my eyelashes. "Why not?"

"I dunno if he would want you to know," James said matter-of-factly. "I don't think he wants anyone to know."

"Then how do you know?"

"We told you," Sirius said, rolling his eyes. "We looked at the obvious and got our answer."

"Does he know you guys know?" I asked.

"I don't believe so…" James said, scratching his chin.

"Well then," I said. "How do you know if you're right?"

"We didn't look at Madam Pomfrey's records or anything, did we James?" Sirius said, chuckling.

"You didn't," I said, my jaw dropping.

"It's all there!" James said. "In her office!'

I sat there in silence for a second. How would I be able to get it out of them?

"Pretty please?" I asked once more.

"No Tonks," James said firmly, like a father disciplining a child.

"Ugh!" I exclaimed. "Is it _that_ bad?"

"Uh… yeah," James said, looking nervously down into his lap. "It's _that_ bad…"

"How bad?" I asked, and I felt like my stomach was freezing over.

"Let's just say our reactions weren't the greatest," Sirius said, twiddling his thumbs. "We… we almost… considered not being his friend anymore."

"_That_ bad?" I asked again and they both nodded.

"It doesn't have to do with… yanno… your guys'… _parts_ does it?" I continued, blushing. I couldn't help myself; I had to know.

"No," James said, chuckling a little. Relief washed over me. "Not at all."

"Then why can't you tell me?" I asked, crossing my arms and pouting.

"Because!" James exclaimed. "It's _that_ bad!"

"I'm his friend!" I said, pointing to myself. "He would want me to know!"

"Both of those statements are false," Sirius said.

"Why do you say that?"

"Well…" James said. "For starters, he really, really likes you, but you already know that. He wants to be more than just your friend."

"Second," Sirius added in. "Since he likes you, he wouldn't want you to know. It… it might actually change the way you feel about him.." I let that sink in for a moment. Nothing would ever change the way I felt about Remus. I couldn't tell the guys that though…

"Well I'm going to find out eventually," I said as a counterargument.

"I think you should know when he's ready to tell you," James said.

"I agree," Sirius answered, nodding his head slightly.

"Ugh," I said, throwing myself back against the seat and crossing my arms. "I _will_ find out soon though."

"Yeah yeah…" James said, smiling. "Sure you will…"

"I will!" I said, defensively. "If he truly likes me-"

"Which he does," Sirius added.

"-then he will tell me!" I finished.

"I dunno…" James said. "Stay tuned."

Remus soon came back into the compartment. I glanced up at him and suspicion filled my thoughts once again. Would it be rude to ask? Should I do it in private? Should I even ask at all? I decided against saying anything and just sat there casually gazing out the window. Remus looked around at everyone and cocked an eyebrow.

"What? Did somebody die while I was gone?" he asked, chuckling.

"Wha-?" I said, turning away from the window to face him. "Uh. No, actually."

"Then why are you all so glum?" he asked, looking at James and Sirius as well.

"We just missed you so much," Sirius said seriously, although he was obviously joking. James laughed.

Sirius's joke seemed to bring life back into the compartment as all the awkwardness left. We were just best friends again, not three best friends and one friend who has a terrible secret. It was a bit of a relief to have the tension broken.

The rest of the ride was normal. Well if throwing quills at Severus Snape's head, yelling out the window to students further down the train, and turning James's hair blue normal. It was normal for us. And it was perfect.

When we finally got off at King's Cross, I immediately found my family, who seemed to have wised up from last year and waited for me close to the train. James and Sirius ran off to find their families after some short goodbyes. It was only two months until I saw them again after all.

Peter ran off behind them, but Remus stuck around and said proper goodbyes to me. I was grateful for that, but I knew he would write me, unlike the other boys. It was a bitter sweet goodbye, but he had to find his family too. Soon I was left with my parents, Sasha and Aaron.

As we all piled into the car, I thought about Remus's family, something he never talked about. I knew he had a brother Sasha's age and a brother Aaron's age. I think he also had two younger sisters. I had seen the brother who was Aaron's age in the corridors before. His name was Oliver and he was the only one who Remus had friendly a relationship with. Was it because of this big secret I couldn't know? Did that have a role to play in Remus's family issues? I couldn't answer any of those questions, but suddenly, the conversation I had had with my father before last term pushed it's way into my mind.

The conversation about Fenrir Greyback and Lupins… A small idea formed inside my head. Could that be…? But no. Remus would tell us if that was the case… Or would he? Was Remus the consequence of malice between Simon Lupin and Greyback?

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I NEED to get this thing rolling! Third year is a big year (probably the one with the most ideas…)

What did you think about the quote at the beginning? I saw that in school today and it immediately made me think of Remus and Tonks! I adore that quote! ^.^

PLEASE REVIEW!

XOXO


	25. Chapter 24

_What is a weed? A flower that has not yet reached it's full potential. - unknown_

_XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX_

_*Tonk's POV*_

Ten days, seven hours, and 13 minutes until the Hogwarts express leaves King's Cross.

My brothers think I'm crazy, counting down until we go back to school. But of course they think I'm crazy. They don't have friends like I do, friends that you miss so much you ache when there gone.

I was sitting on my porch, alone, on a sunny day in August, reading my latest letter from Remus. I was wearing jean shorts and a white t-shirt with old dirty black converses. I had chosen long curly brown hair today, but didn't care much for it. I was sweating like a pig in the sweltering heat of the sun. My t-shirt clung to me in the most uncomfortable places.

I was so tired. I had stayed up late last night to do a little homework and respond to Lily's latest letter. My eyelids were heavy and were dangerously close to shutting. I willed myself not to, to finish reading Remus's letter. But I couldn't do it, fell sideways onto my porch and fell asleep. I couldn't believe it, but I had another unusual dream.

In my dream, I was much older; I had to have been out of Hogwarts. I was inside a house that I did not recognize, but it looked like it was getting renovated. There were paint cans and cloths laid down on the floor everywhere. I was alone in the house with one other person, James, and we were painting a wall in the dining room.

"So, how much longer 'til were done?" I asked, wiping sweat off my brow.

"Not long, hun, not long," James replied. I looked over and watched him work for a second.

"Yanno, I have to go soon. Mad Eye will kill me if I'm late," I said, looking down at my watch that was splattered in white paint.

"Oh I know he will," James said, kneeling over a new paint can.

"But, uh, I'll be home for dinner, if I'm lucky," I said, standing up and brushing myself off.

"Good, good," James said, standing up as well.

"We're almost done," I said, smiling at him.

"Then we can just relax," James replied, smiling back.

"I'll see you tonight," I muttered.

"See you," James replied, then pulled me into an embrace, patting my back slowly. As my dream faded out, I might have heard him say: "Thanks," but I couldn't be sure.

I sat up, panting. Did this really need to happen again? I stood up and started pacing; I was freaking out. I had never, ever had feelings for James! He was like a brother to me! Then why was I dreaming about owning a house with him? Why did I dream he called me "hun" ? This was madness. First Remus, then Sirius, now James? I heard the back door open and someone stepped out.

"Hey Tonks," I Aaron said. "I looked over at him and stopped pacing, although my mind didn't stop thinking about my predicament.

"Wotcher," I breathed, running my hand through my hair nervously.

"Everything okay?" he asked, walking over to me and examining my face. "You look a bit pale."

"Yeah…" I answered. "Yeah I'm fine."

"Well, okay…" he said, still looking intently at me. "Just making sure."

"Don't worry," I said, finally looking at him.

"So," he said, regaining his cockiness. He reminded me of James more everyday. "What's the countdown?"

"Ten days, seven hours, and… two minutes," I said, checking my watch. "One minute now."

"Wow sissy," he said. He used to call me that when I was little, but hadn't done it for years.

"How's dad?" I asked, as a gust of wind blew my hair around my face.

"Grim," Aaron answered. "He just got the paper. Three more went missing."

"Three?" I asked, astonished.

"Three," Aaron answered.

"Wow," I said, my mouth open. "Did we know any of them?"

"No, luckily," Aaron answered. "But I think Dad knew them from work."

"My God… This is really bad, isn't it?" I asked the childish question without thinking about it.

"Yeah… He's gaining followers, and fast," Aaron said.

"Why do we have to refer to him as _he?_" I asked. "Dad won't even tell me his name!"

"He won't tell me either, Tonks," Aaron replied, rolling his eyes.

"We're going to find out soon enough," I said, walking back to the porch. "Yanno, after he kills us all," I muttered the last part under my breath.

"What did you say?" Aaron asked, clearly upset.

"Nothing," I lied.

"You said something," he said. "Tonks, don't think that it's all over just because a few people have gone missing. This hasn't even been going on for long, just a few months. I'm sure it'll pass soon."

I sighed and plopped myself down on the steps. This whole summer has been filled with my parent's whispering about this "new threat" to the wizarding world. They wouldn't even tell us this "threat's" name, let alone what he was up to. We only knew what we knew because of eavesdropping.

I turned to pick up my letter and it wasn't there. I looked all around and saw it no where. Another gust of wind hit my face and I realized it had been blown away.

"Shit," I muttered under my breath, putting my head between my knees. I had forgotten Aaron was there.

"What did you say?" he asked.

"Shit," I said rebelliously, looking up at him. He was a big 15 year old, with jet black hair and a handsome face. He had a strong build and was much taller than me. He stood there I the afternoon sun, staring at me with a peculiar expression his face. He wiped some sweat off his brow and spoke.

"You've been acting odd this summer."

"Have I?" I said sarcastically.

"Yeah, it's like a dementor got you," he said.

"Fantastic," I muttered.

"Common, what's wrong?" he asked, walking over to sit by me.

"Nothing is wrong, Aaron," I answered, turning away from him.

"Yes there is," he said, placing a hand on my shoulder. "You can tell me."

"There isn't anything wrong, Aaron," I said, throwing his hand off.

"Tonks, what has gotten into you?" he asked, offended. I didn't know where this rage was coming from.

"Do you really want to know what's wrong? Everything," I began, standing up. "Everything is wrong. Do you know what it feels like to be taken away from your friends? And not your "friends" but your true best friends, people you love. You have to be taken away from them for two whole months! And mum and dad moping around doesn't help anything! There so worried about whoever this guy is that's making people disappear, that they don't even notice I'm unhappy! And Sasha doesn't care either! He's too worried about finding a job after he leaves school! He's never home and I miss him! And when he is home, he's upstairs, shut up in his room, studying for his N.E.W.T.S. He barely can hold a conversation with me! And of course he knows about this "threat!" Mum and dad can trust perfect Sasha, who hasn't done anything wrong in his life. And you don't know what it's like to be confused over which boy you like! I know in my heart who's right, but I can't do _anything_ about it! You've never had to feel that! You've never been a teenage girl in a world that's changing so fast, a world that is full of things a teenage girl can cry about! And to top it all off, my letter from one of my best friends just flew off to who knows where!"

By the end of my speech, I was in tears. I collapsed where I stood, and Aaron came rushing over to me. He picked me up into his lap and held me while I cried. I loved Aaron more than I could ever express. Once I calmed myself down, he spoke.

"That was some speech, sissy," he said, slowly rocking me back and forth while I sniffled. "It's all gonna be okay."

"Do you really believe that, Aaron?" I asked, choking on the last few words.

"I do," he said, patting my back. "And Sasha, I'm worried about him too. But soon, that'll be me and eventually, that'll be you. You just gotta give the guy a break. He's stressed, Tonks. But that doesn't mean he loves you any less. Mum and dad, too. The world is changing, and they're right in the middle of it. Us kids don't have to bear the full weight of this crisis. The adults do. Let them handle it and enjoy life."

We sat there in my backyard for a long while after. I felt so much better, now that I had told someone. I felt like I could actually smile and laugh and enjoy life, just as he had said. I never wanted to leave his lap, a place where I felt safe, but soon, our mother called for dinner. I stood up and looked at him, his face golden in the setting sun.

"I love you Aaron," I said, hugging him tightly.

"I love you too, Nymphadora," he answered.

"Hey!" I said, looking up at him and smiling. "Don't call me that!"

"I can do whatever I like," he said, smirking.

"I'll get you for this," I said, my smile broadening.

"But you'll have to catch me!" he said and took off running around the yard. I ran after him as fast as I could, tripping a few times, but all in good fun. That evening was the best one of the summer, even with all of the unhappiness of the world pressing in on our windowpanes. The innocence of childhood and love kept it at bay. And soon, it was only 15 hours and 34 minutes until the train left.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Oooh Tonks is an angry teenager!

Should I keep doing quotes at the beginning? I kind like it!

Don't worry, this depressing atmosphere wont be around for long!

PLEASE REVIEW!

XOXO


	26. Chapter 25

"_It is not the most lovable individuals who stand more in need of love, but the most unlovable" - Ashley Montagu_

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Tonks's POV*_

I was squished up against the window of my family's car next to Aaron. Trying to fit a 17 year old, a 15 year old, and an almost 13 year old into the tiny backseat of a car was no easy task; we barely had room to breathe. But discomfort was no matter for me. I was finally going back to school, to see my friends. I had missed them desperately this summer, more than I had ever imagined. I now wished James and Sirius had given me proper goodbyes before we parted.

The trauma of a few nights ago seemed to have worn off by now. Aaron and I didn't talk about and we didn't tell anybody about our conversation in the back garden. But I had finally figured out why I was in a such rage; I had gotten my period the morning after. I didn't need to tell Aaron that, but it just helped me be sure that I hadn't gone mad.

I had told myself this morning while I was getting dressed that I would find out the big secret this year. We were all teenagers now, we didn't have to hide anything. If I had to squeeze it out of James and Sirius or go and actually ask Remus himself didn't matter. I was going to find out the truth once and for all.

For some odd reason, King's Cross was not as busy as it had been in years past. My father looked around warily and whispered something to my mother. I opened my ears and heard a few phrases, but the rest was incomprehensible.

"… He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named… everyone too scared… don't want to risk it."

He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named? Who was that? Curiosity almost got the best of me, but before I could ask my father any questions, I bit my tongue.

We crossed onto Platform 9 ¾ and suddenly realized how empty it was. I would say about a good 10% of the people were absent from the usually packed platform. But, nevertheless, it was much easier to maneuver our trolleys to the luggage cart and get our trunks inside. After a few short goodbyes, me, Sasha, and Aaron boarded the train. We waved and waved until we could see our parents no more, then separated.

"See ya, sissy," Aaron said as he stalked off down the train.

"Behave yourself, Nymphadora," Sasha warned. I almost aimed a good kick at him, but decided against it. I would confront him later.

After my brothers left, I continued on to the compartment where the boys and I had arranged to meet. As soon as I walked in, I saw the compartment was uninhabited except for Peter.

"Er… Hello," I said, walking in and taking a seat. Peter and I had never been very friendly, so this was a bit awkward. "How was your summer?"

"Fine," he answered, his watery blue eyes looking up at me. He was still the pudgy little boy he had been last year and the year before. The only difference was he grew a few inches. "How was yours?"

"Uh… fine," I said, shifting uncomfortably in my seat across from him. Where were James and Sirius? Suddenly, the compartment door opened and in walked a very tall handsome boy. Wait no… That was Remus!

Remus seemed to have matured a great amount in the two months that I hadn't seen him. He was definitely a few inches taller, maybe 5' 6", and his light brown hair almost touched his shoulders. He seemed to have added a few more scars to the collection on his face and hands, but all in all, he looked fantastic. He was so handsome. I soon realized that my mouth was hanging open and I had to close it fast.

"Wotcher," I exclaimed, standing up and running over to embrace him. I felt his strong arms wrap around my waist and I couldn't help but start beaming. "Someone grew up this summer, huh?"

"A bit," he answered, chuckling. He released me and stared down into my eyes. "You look older too."

"I do?" I asked, cocking an eyebrow. My waist-length black hair and dirty old converses didn't seem very grown up to me.

"Very much so," he answered, still beaming. "I missed you."

"I missed you too," I answered. I then heard someone clear their throat; it was Peter.

"So, uh, Remus," he started. "How've you been?"

"Oh God," Remus said, blushing. "Sorry Peter, didn't see you there."

"Obviously," he muttered under his breath.

"Yeah…" Remus said, putting his hand on the back of neck and sighing. I couldn't help but chuckle. Not long after Remus arrived, we settled down opposite Peter. We then started wondering where our other friends were.

"Where the hell are they?" Remus asked, standing up to peak out the compartment door and down the hall.

"I dunno…" I said, shrugging my shoulders.

"Geez it's been like 45 minutes," Remus said, coming back to sit down. We sat there alone for another 15 minutes before dumb and dumber showed up.

All of a sudden, the door burst open and the compartment was filled with the sound of roaring laughter. We all turned around and saw James and Sirius staggering into the compartment bent over in stitches.

"Did… did ya," James said, gasping for breath, still laughing his head off. "Did ya see his face?"

"Yeah!" Sirius answered, falling on the floor of the compartment and pounding the floor. "He was all like-" He made a ridiculous face "-and then… and then…"

"_What_ is so funny?" Remus asked, standing up.

"We… we…" James tried to say, but couldn't finish because he bent over laughing again.

"We turned Snivellus green!" Sirius blurted out. All of a sudden, he and James were overtaken by roaring laughter once again.

"_What?"_ Remus said, jaw dropped. "You didn't!"

"We did!" James choked out.

"Oh my God!" I said, standing up laughing. "Fantastic!"

"No, this is not fantastic!" Remus said, rounding on me.

"Common Remus!" I said, turning to him. "He's a git!"

"Yes, maybe he is," Remus said. "But they-" He pointed to James and Sirius. "-could be expelled!"

"Common Remus," James said, trying to regain control. "It's all in good fun!"

"Good fun?" Remus exclaimed. "Good _fun_? You could be expelled!"

"Yeah… maybe we could…" Sirius said, taking deep breaths, finally under control. "But who cares!"

"Yeah who cares!" James said, throwing his hands in the air and chuckling.

"Okay.. Okay," Remus said, putting his hands up in surrender. "I'll lay off."

Then, as if on cue, the compartment door burst open and a green blur rushed in and pinned James to the ground.

"Potter!" he screamed. "Change me back now!"

"Hey, woah! Snivellus!" James said, still smirking. "I was just matching you to your beloved Slytherin green! I thought you would be happy about that!"

"No I am not!" Severus said, aiming a good punch at James and making his nose bleed.

"Woah! Snape! Let him go!" Sirius said, trying to pry him off of James.

"Leave me alone Black!" Severus said, trying to punch Sirius as well, but Sirius ducked.

"SEV!" We heard someone yell. We all turned around and saw Lily standing in the doorway, staring open mouthed at Severus on James. "Let him go!"

"Lily, let me handle this!" he said, turning away from her.

"No Sev!" she said, walking into the compartment and pulling him off of James, who scrambled away behind Remus, trying to stop the flow of blood from his nose.

"Do you see what he did to me?" Severus said to Lily.

"Yes, of course I do Sev!" she said, putting her hands on his shoulders. "I can put you back to normal, you just have to calm down!" Severus stopped struggling.

"Sorry…" he said, taking a deep breath.

"Common," Lily said, walking toward the door, Severus following her like a child who just had gotten disciplined. Before they crossed the threshold, Lily looked back and gave James and Sirius a dirty look. But soon, they were gone. We all stood there in silence for a few seconds. Then, all of a sudden, James and Sirius burst out with laughter again.

"Man, Lily has control of him!" Sirius said, bending over.

"You two…" Remus said, throwing himself down on the seat behind him. It took a few minutes, but eventually, James and Sirius calmed themselves down again.

"_That-_," James said. "-was interesting."

"Agreed!" Sirius said, settling down next to Peter.

As we sped of toward Hogsmede station, I couldn't help but think that this was the most interesting train ride so far. But all in all, I was more than happy to be back with my friends. This was going to be an interesting year…

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

So, the paragraphs might be all screwed up, and I don't really know what happened to them! I must have hit a button last night! Grrr…

Anyways, feedback on this chapter? The quote? Remus's maturity level? Anything at all!

PLEASE REVIEW!

XOXO


	27. Chapter 26

"_Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts." - Winston Churchill_

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Tonks's POV*_

When we finally arrived at Hogsmede station, of course it was raining. The stone walkway leading to the carriages was uphill and very slippery. So, as you might imagine, I tripped many times on the way up to the school.

The light and warmth of the Great Hall was very welcome after the darkness and gloom of the platform and carriages. We all took our seats at the Gryffindor table and listened to Dumbledore's start of term speech. I wasn't necessarily listening, for I had heard this speech twice before. I was nonchalantly picking at a knot in the table in front of me when Remus nudged me and I turned my attention to the front of the Hall.

"Now, as all of you are probably aware, this summer a new threat to the wizarding world emerged. The ministry and your families probably won't be very happy about me telling you this, but I feel as if it would be silly to keep you in the dark. Many refer to him as 'He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named,' but I don't believe in that nonsense. Fear of the name only means fear of the person. His name is Voldemort. But when he was your age, he was known as Tom Riddle."

As Dumbledore said these words, a shiver ran around the hall. Everyone student seemed to have shifted uncomfortably in their seat. There were many dark and gloomy faces staring up at the headmaster, their dark eyes full of unknowing. I'm sure that at least a dozen students had been affected by these disappearances. Maybe it was their parents, or aunts or uncles. You just couldn't know.

"I don't want any of you to be alarmed. You are perfectly safe here, and I can promise you that. If any of you need anything, _anything_ at all, feel free to come to me. I am here for you."

I looked down the table at Lily and Lydia and saw that Lydia's eyes were sparkling with tears. I suddenly remembered her father had been one of the ministry workers who had gone missing. I wanted to get up and go hug her, but knew that would be inappropriate. I shifted my attention back to Dumbledore, not wanting to look at her anymore.

"Now everyone, enjoy the feast," Dumbledore said, opening his arms wide as the food appeared. And we dug in. The feast was amazing, as usual. The boys and I didn't hold back on heaping as much food as possible onto our plates. We ate like there was no tomorrow. Chicken, steak, mashed potatoes, corn, rolls, and much, much more. I couldn't believe that this much food existed.

After the feast, we trudged back up to the common room, where we collapsed on the couches in our favorite spot, right in front of the fire.

"Ahhh…" James said, patting his stomach slowly. "That was a fantastic feast."

"Agreed…" Sirius said, his eyes slowly closing. "And a fantastic train ride."

"I second that," I said, chuckling. I looked up in the direction of my dorm and remembered Lydia. I wanted to make sure she was okay. "Guys… I think I'm gonna go to bed."

"Really?" James asked, sitting up. "This early?"

"Yeah…" I said, standing up. "It's, uh, been a long day." I couldn't tell them about Lydia. She might not want people to know.

"Okay, okay…" James said, standing up to hug me. "G'night Tonks."

After I said goodnight to everyone, I trooped up the spiral stairs and down the hall to a door on my left that said:

Third Year Girls

As soon as I entered, I saw a scene close to the madness of last year. Trunks open, clothes everywhere, owls hooting, and girls swarming around like bees. But before I could take it all in, I heard Lily.

"Hey Tonks!" she squealed as she ran over to me.

"Wotcher!" I said as she hugged me. "How are you?"

"Great, great," she said, pulling away and looking over her shoulder at Lydia, who sat emotionless on her bed. "Better than Lydia…" she whispered.

"Hey Lydia," I said, peaking over Lily's shoulder.

"Hey Tonks…" she said, looking over at me and wiping a tear away from her dark and gloomy eyes.

"How are you?" I asked, walking over to her.

"Uh… Fine," she said, but I knew she was lying. I opened my arms to hug her and she threw herself into them.

"It's gonna be okay, Lydia," I said, patting her back as she wept. "They'll find him."

"I know… I know…" she said, pulling away and sniffling. "Thanks…"

"No problem," I said, smiling at her. She took a few deep breaths while walking back to her bed. I glanced over at Lily and she shot a small smile my way.

I finally got over to my bed and started to unpack. I glanced over at Scarlet and May and saw they had totally ignored me once again. I wondered whether they ignored Lily and Lydia as well…

It didn't take me long to unpack and soon I was laying down all cozy in my four poster. I soon realized how similar arriving at Hogwarts really was from year to year. I knew I would eventually get used to it, but for now, it still took my breath away every time. Soon, I was in a deep sleep, anticipating the year that lay before me.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Remus's POV*_

Sitting in the common room on a rainy Saturday afternoon with the boys and Tonks was just the thing to get my mind off of the full moon that approached that night. Sirius and James were discussing upcoming Quidditch tryouts; James was going for Seeker, and Sirius wanted to be a Beater. And me? There's no way I could ever play Quidditch with my lycanthropy, although it did seem kind of fun.

"Tonks, your not trying out, are you?" James asked.

"Are you kidding?" she said, chuckling. "I would kill myself!"

"Yeah… true," James said, laughing. "You're a bit of a clutz, huh?"

"Why did you even ask that question?" Sirius said, laughing along with the others.

I wanted to laugh with them, but I was hurting too much. My arms and legs felt especially weak and achy at that moment. I was stretched out on one couch, wrapped up in the comforter from my four poster. I watched my friends talking and laughing, but I didn't participate… I was just watching her, with her dirty blonde hair pulled back into a ponytail. I would've been okay just laying there for the rest of my life, but then I checked the time on my watch and realized I had one minute to get to the Hospital Wing.

"Holy shit!" I said, standing up and sprinting toward the portrait hole.

"Woah! What's wrong Remus?" James asked, apparently startled.

"Ummm.. Late for, uh, a meeting with…" I trailed off, my lying skills obviously lacking. "I just gotta go." And I ran out.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Tonks's POV*_

"Well that was random…" I said, watching the portrait hole swing close right after Remus ran out of it. I looked to my left and saw James and Sirius giving each other the smirks they give when they're up to something.

"Not really…" James said, chuckling.

"That wasn't random to you?" I asked, looking incredulously over at the boys.

"No not really…" Sirius said, checking his watch. "Considering the time and date."

"What?" I asked, really confused now. "The time and date?"

"What is today's date?" James asked like he was trying to explain something simple to a small child.

"September 15," I said, still not getting it.

"What time is it?" Sirius asked in the same tone James had used.

"Around… 7:30," I said.

"Right," James said, probably expecting me to get it. "Think about it…"

I stared between those two, not knowing what to expect. What were they getting at?

"I still don't get it…" I said, sounding pretty silly. Then, an idea grew in my mind. "Wait… is this the secret?"

"Yes Tonks…" James said, slapping his hand over his eyes.

"Hey! Don't talk to me like I'm some child!" I said, standing up in frustration. "It's a secret for a reason!"

"Exactly!" James said, using his hands for emphasis. "Think about it!"

"I am!" I said, closing my eyes tightly and thinking as fast as I could, but nothing came to mind.

"Alright," Sirius said. "What is today?"

"I told you, September 15," I said, rolling my eyes.

"No, not the date, like what is today?" James asked, standing up, too.

"Just tell me!" I exclaimed.

"He's a bloody werewolf!" Sirius blurted out. My heart stopped beating.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Ooh! The secret's out!

What did you think? Characters okay? Behavior okay? The quote? Feedback please! (:

PLEASE REVIEW!

XOXO


	28. Chapter 27

"_If you judge people, you have no time to love them." - Mother Teresa_

_*Tonks's POV*_

As soon as those words left Sirius's mouth, I felt like my whole body had frozen over. Everything stopped. My heart stopped beating. I stopped breathing. I stopped thinking. Then all of a sudden, I was jolted back into reality. I realized that my jaw was hanging wide open, so I quickly closed it. I felt the cold awkwardness that hung in the air around the common room; A usually cheerful place that now was filled with the cold truth. I felt my breathing start to become irregular.

Wait. It's James and Sirius we're dealing with here. There's no possible way Remus was a werewolf. They had to be lying.

"Are… are you joking?" I choked out, feeling a little lightheaded. "Because if you are, this is _not_ funny."

"No," James said, glaring down at Sirius. "We just wished Remus could've been the one to tell you, when he was ready. Not when bigmouth here blurted it out."

I suddenly glanced around the common room to see if there were any other students still lingering around. Thankfully, we were alone.

"You have to be joking," I said blatantly, turning back to the boys.

"I wish we were," Sirius said. He then turned to James and rolled his eyes. "James, calm down. She was going to find out anyways!"

"Yeah, but from Remus himself!" James argued back. "Not by your big mouth shouting it out for the whole world to hear!"

"James, she was just being such a blonde-"

"Hey!" I exclaimed.

"You were, Tonks!" Sirius finished, turning to me. "It's not that hard when you think about it! Today is the full moon. What time does the moon usually rise this time of year? 'Bout 7, maybe 7:30. Remus just happened to have leave right about when the full moon rises. Put the pieces together!"

I thought about it for a second. Their evidence seemed pretty convincing, but I still didn't want to believe that he was a werewolf.

"So," I said. "Maybe… maybe he…" I trailed off.

"Exactly!" Sirius exclaimed. "There's no other excuse for this!"

"So what?" I asked, still trying to prove them wrong.

"Okay, more pieces to the puzzle!" James said. "He is always sick before and after the full moon. Weak, achy, fatigued. Haven't you ever learned about werewolves before? Those are the common symptoms of lycanthropy!"

"And if you need more evidence," Sirius started. "Have you ever looked at his face and arms? Even his chest?"

"Umm... Well I can't say I've seen his chest lately…" I said, chuckling a little. "But are you referring to his scars?"

"Yes, Tonks, yes!" James exclaimed. "They look like an animal got to him, right?"

"I mean… yeah kinda," I said, my brain still working furiously. "But he said he got in an accident, didn't he?"

"Then why does he keep getting new ones every month?" James asked, posing an interesting question. Why?

"I dunno…" I said, finally accepting defeat.

"Exactly," Sirius said.

"He really is a… yanno… isn't he?" I asked, feeling the coldness creeping up inside me again.

"I'm… afraid so," James stated.

"But I must say, you took it much better than we did," Sirius said, chuckling. Then all of a sudden, blackness obscured my vision and I passed out.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Hey Tonksie," I heard Sirius croon through the darkness. "You in there?"

"Sirius, leave her alone," James instructed.

"Sirius?" I asked, opening my eyes very slowly.

"James!" Sirius exclaimed. "She's awake!"

"Oh God…" I moaned. "What happened?"

"You, uh, kinda passed out," James said, laughing.

"Why the hell did I pass out?" I asked, placing a hand on my head.

"We told you Remus's secret," Sirius said.

"Wha-?" I asked, confused.

"We told you Remus was a werewolf," James explained.

"Oh God!" I said, sitting up very fast and experiencing a head-rush.

"Woah," Sirius said, pushing me back down onto a pillow. "Slow down, chickadee."

"Where am I?" I asked weakly.

"In my bed," Sirius stated simply.

"What?" I asked, quickly opening my eyes.

"When you passed out, we hauled you up to our dorm and put you in my bed," Sirius explained. Sure enough, I was laying in Sirius's four poster, surrounded by what looked like a disaster zone. I had imagined the boy's dorm many times before, but never imagined it to be this bad. Dirty clothes, candy wrappers, and old food littered the whole room, covering three out of the four beds. The only bed that was clean was the one closest to the door.

"Who's bed is that?" I asked, pointing this tidy bed out.

"Remus's, believe it or not," James said from his perch on his bed, which was next to the one I was laying in. I sat up again, this time much slower.

"Holy shit…" I muttered, the realization of the situation washing over me again.

"Yeah I know…" James said, chuckling. "Right little tidy git he is."

"No not that…" I said. "He's a… a…"

"Werewolf," Sirius finished.

"Yeah…" I said. "Oh my God…"

"I know it's a bit shocking," James said.

"Well of course it is!" I exclaimed. "One of my best friends is a _werewolf_!"

"Kinda cool though…" Sirius muttered.

"No!" I said, biffing the right side of his head. "This is not _cool_!"

"Hey, woah there Tonksie," he said, rubbing the spot I had struck. "Calm down!"

"It's just so… so…" I said, struggling to find the words. I felt my eyes well up with tears. "Shocking."

"We know…" James said, coming over and patting my back. "But we're in this together."

"Yeah…" I said, wiping a tear away. "Yeah you're right… I need to calm down…"

And so, that night, I did not get any sleep. After recovering enough in the boy's room, I snuck back into my dorm to sleep. Curling up beneath the warm sheets and blankets was just what I needed. But my mind didn't stop working. All I could think about was how this affected me. How sorry I was for him, because truly, he was a fantastic guy. A fantastic guy with a major problem. Within an hour, my pillow was soaked with silent tears.

The next morning, I got up as soon as the sun peaked through the windows. It was a beautiful day, a slight breeze shaking the branches of the trees in the Forbidden Forest and the sun making the Black Lake sparkle beautifully. But inside, the atmosphere around me was gloomy. I couldn't help but wonder where he was, and figured finding him in the common room was worth a shot. I silently creeped out of my dorm and down the spiral stairs.

There he was, sprawled out on a couch with an array of new bandages plastered on his white face. The dying embers of last night's fire were slowly burning away in the fireplace. He stared deep into the embers, the morning sun making his light brown hair glow golden. It was truly a beautiful sight.

"Remus," I said, breaking the silence that the morning had cast over us.

"Tonks!" he exclaimed, startled. "Wha… what are you doing up so early?"

"Well…" I said, not knowing exactly how tactful I was going to be when I told him. "I couldn't sleep last night."

"Why?" he asked. I thought about it for a second then slowly walked over to the couch he was lounging on.

"Well… James and Sirius were talking to me last night…" I said, sitting down, refusing to meet his eyes.

"About what?" he asked, sounding a bit curious.

"About… you," I said, and I felt as if a knife made of ice stabbed my heart. There was silence for a few seconds.

"What did you talk about?" he asked, obviously uncomfortable.

"They told me you were a werewolf," I said, not wanting to draw this out any longer. I finally met his eyes. He looked as if someone had stabbed him directly in the heart.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

BAM. There ya have it! (;

This one was pretty good, I must say! XD

PLEASE REVIEW!

XOXO


	29. Chapter 28

_"For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul." - Judy Garland_

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Remus's POV*_

_Holy shit, am I in pain, _I thought, sitting on a couch in the Gryffindor common room. This had definitely been a hard full moon for me; my whole body felt like it had been run over by the Hogwarts Express. Not only that, but I had some other injuries as well.

I knew I was sitting in a very awkward position, one leg Indian style, the other awkwardly raised above it, suspended in mid-air. Somehow I had managed to gouge myself with my own claw in my upper thigh last night. But, of course, Madam Pomfrey had bandaged it up in no time. Sometimes (well actually all the time) I wished that Madam Pomfrey could just do her job and fix up my cuts like everyone else. But no. Injuries inflicted by werewolves were "incurable." Bull shit. As I sat there lost in my thoughts, I didn't even notice her enter the room.

"Remus," she said. I nearly jumped out the window I was so startled.

"Tonks!" I exclaimed. "Wha… what are you doing up so early?" Now, that's what I said, but I was actually thinking:

_Owwwww! Holy- _Accompanied by a few choice curse words. The blinding pain in my thigh drove all other thoughts from my mind, including that she was standing right at the edge of my couch.

"Well… I couldn't sleep last night" she said, looking uncomfortable.

"Why?" I asked through gritted teeth, trying to bear the pain. I don't think she noticed my feeble attempts to not scream out in pain because she moved nearer to me.

"Well… James and Sirius were talking to me last night," she said, sitting down on the edge of my couch. She wouldn't look at me.

"About what?" I asked, momentarily forgetting the pain in my leg.

"About… you," she said. I felt my heart skip a beat. They didn't tell her…

"What did you talk about?" I asked, praying to God it was anything but my lycanthropy.

"They told me you were a werewolf," she said, finally meeting my eyes. My heart definitely stopped beating this time. I felt my breath catch, and I couldn't breathe for a second. They didn't… How could they do this to me?

I tried to speak but the words got caught in my throat. I sat there gaping like a fish for a few seconds before I could finally choke one word out.

"_What?_"

"They…" she said, her eyes welling up with tears. "They told me you were a… a… werewolf."

"_Why?_"I asked, still having trouble breathing.

"I dunno exactly how it happened," she said, wiping a tear away. "I pressured them into telling me your "big secret" and Sirius just kind of… blurted it out."

I sat there gaping again, totally horrified by this.

"It's not true is it?" she asked, teary eyed. My heart melted when I saw that. She didn't deserve to be this unhappy. And it was my fault.

"Yes," I said, looking down into my lap, ashamed.

"It.. It is?" she asked, hiccupping a little bit.

"It's true…" I said, examining my scarred hands. "James and Sirius weren't lying for once."

This statement was followed by a very awkward silence. I just watched her to see if there was any desire to flee, but she just sat there like an emotionless rock.

"How?" she asked, finally breaking the silence.

"When I was young… my father insulted Fenrir Greyback… And I, being the youngest son, was targeted for revenge," I said, remembering that fateful summer evening. "So, of course, I was bitten."

"How old were you?" she asked, gazing into the embers that sat glowing in the fire.

"I was six," I said, still not tearing my eyes off her.

"Six?" she asked, turning back to face me, obviously shocked.

"Six," I repeated, and sighed.

"That's… that's… so young," she stated.

"I know…" I said, feeling the shame welling up inside me, like water behind a dam.

"You're not dangerous are you?" she asked, biting her lip.

"Only on full moons," I said, rubbing the back of my neck with palm. "But I do have a safe house to go to on the full moon so I don't hurt anyone. I don't know if I could cope with having to live knowing I hurt someone."

"I can only imagine," she said, almost in a whisper.

"I'm so sorry," I said, looking down into my lap once again.

"Don't be," she said, turning to face me and putting her hand on my knee. "It's hard isn't it?"

"Very," I said, sniffling.

All of a sudden, she got up and almost ran to the window.

"What's going on?" I asked, very confused.

"You're… a werewolf!" she exclaimed, almost hyperventilating.

"What?" I asked. A second ago, she had been perfectly fine. Now she was completely freaking out.

"Oh… My God!" she squealed. "Oh… Oh God!"

"Tonks, calm down!" I said, getting up and limping over to her.

"I didn't believe them!" she exclaimed. "I didn't want to believe them! But it's true!"

"I know it is!" I practically yelled over her, placing a hand on her shoulder.

"Don't touch me!" she yelled, pulling away.

"Tonks!" I yelled, firmly grabbing both her shoulders. "I'm not going to hurt you!"

"Get away! Get away!" she screamed.

"What has gotten into you?" I asked over her screams as she ran out of the common room. She didn't answer.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Tonks's POV*_

_James and Sirius weren't lying! They weren't lying!_ I thought frantically running through the corridors towards the headmaster's office.

_I have to tell Dumbledore!_ I thought, rounding a corner and falling flat on my face. I stopped and laid there for a second, feeling my heart beating fast in my chest. _Does Dumbledore know about this? _I thought, frantically. _But he must. He knows everything._

I sighed, and pushed myself into a sitting position. Was it still worth it to go tell him? How could he not know there was a _werewolf_ among his students? How could he not know? And yet, he doesn't do anything about it! We're all in danger!

I sat with my head between my knees, trying to steady myself. I couldn't believe this… All of sudden, I heard my name being called down the corridor.

"Tonks!" I heard someone yell. "Tonks, were did you run off to?"

Through process of elimination, I decided it had to be Remus. I sat still on the floor of corridor, knowing that if I tried to run, he could surely find me. My best bet was to sit quietly and hope that he missed me. But I was out of luck that day. All of a sudden, he rounded the corner at the end of the hall and spotted me.

"There you are!" he said, hobbling along towards me. "I've been searching this whole bloody castle for you."

I was frozen where I sat. I couldn't take my eyes off his oncoming figure. Finally he approached me and feebly tried to sit down. He was obviously hurt.

"Why in world did you-" he started, but was cut short when his injured leg gave way and he crashed to the floor. This brought me out of my trance.

"OWWWW!" he exclaimed, clamping a hand to his right thigh. "BLOODY HELL!"

"Remus!" I shouted, completely forgetting what he was. "Are you okay?"

"Agh… yeah.. I'm fine," he said, settling down gingerly on the stone floor. I instinctively put a hand on his to consol him.

"What happened?" I asked.

"Well… as you know, last night was the full moon… and I… I hurt myself," he explained, chuckling a little at the last part. I suddenly remembered why I had run away in the first place.

"Does Dumbledore know?" I asked, so quiet it was almost a whisper.

"Of course," he said. "Without Dumbledore, I wouldn't be here." I breathed a sigh of relief.

"And he doesn't think you would… yanno… hurt anyone?" I asked.

"I take the proper precautions," he explained. "I would never ever put myself in this position without knowing that everyone was safe when I was dangerous, which is only on the full moon."

"Oh my God…" I breathed. "I'm so sorry Remus!" I said, flinging myself at him and latching my arms around his neck.

"What are you sorry for?" he asked, chuckling at my sudden change of heart.

"For being a prejudice fool!" I exclaimed into his shoulder, feeling the tears starting to well up in my eyes.

"You weren't being a prejudice fool…" he said, slowly rubbing my back while I sobbed.

"Yes I was!" I said, still bawling like a child. "I ran away because I was afraid of you!"

"Which is just human nature," Remus said softly. His voice calmed me down.

"I'm also sorry for bawling like a baby," I said, pulling away and sniffling.

"Don't be sorry," he said, reaching out and wiping a tear off my cheek. I just stared back into his beautiful amber eyes and suddenly felt a sense of reassurance and safety. There was kindness and love in those eyes that had seen so much.

"You're my best friend, do you know that?" he said, slowly caressing my cheek with his thumb.

"I am?" I asked, knowing my eyes were still red and puffy.

"You are…" he said. "And always will be."

And with that, he leaned in and laid a single, tender kiss on my lips.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I cant decide whether or not I like Tonks's reaction in this one… I guess it helps when it comes to the end… confused teenage girl right?

Just an FYI, I'm going out of town on Saturday and will be back on Tuesday! I'm sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo sad I wont be able to write! Please bear with me! (:

PLEASE REVIEW! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE! (;

XOXO


	30. Chapter 29

Hello! A few quick announcements before we begin!

1. Oh yes, its that time again! I'm in another show! Yippee.. Kinda. So writing is gonna be hard for another two weeks, so PLEASE BEAR WITH ME! I love this story more than anything and your support is GREATLY appreciated! So expect almost everything on Friday or Saturday! (;

2. I'm running out of quotes for the beginnings of chapters! So if you know any quotes that relate to Remus and Tonks PLEASE PM ME! Greatly appreciated!(:

3. Do I have any Daughtry fans out there? Going to his concert in April! LOVE. HIM.

Anyway so that's it! PLEASE REVIEW! (:

Love you all! ~AnM XD

Ps. HAPPY EARLY BIRTHDAY REMUS JOHN LUPIN! Tomorrow. March 10th. (;

_You can't blame gravity for falling in love. - Albert Einstein _

_*Remus's POV*_

_I finally did it! _I thought, pulling away from her sweet lips after the short kiss. I already wanted more. I looked into her face that was frozen in shock, not having moved a millimeter.

"Tonks…?" I asked warily, seeing if she was conscious.

"Did… did you just…?" she stammered out, and I realized why she was so quiet: she had just kissed her best friend, who happened to be a werewolf.

"I'm sorry," I said, suddenly standing up and starting to pace the corridor. "I shouldn't have done that."

I knew I had totally blown it. Ruined everything. Our friendship, a chance at love… hope that my life wouldn't be so bad. I felt so stupid. Why did the hell did I do that?

"What are you sorry for?" she asked, breaking her shocked gaze and standing up.

"That… that was uncalled for," I mumbled. "I shouldn't have… right after you found out about… about… my lycan-"

But before I could finish my sentence, her lips met mine, making me stop my pacing abruptly. Again, this kiss was no more than three seconds, nothing anything too romantic. But it was enough to make my heart flutter in my chest.

"Tonks…" I mumble as soon as she pulls away. "Are you feeling okay?"

"I'm perfect," she whispered, still close to my face. "I feel wonderful."

"Do you know what you just did?" I asked, thinking about what I had been trying to ask her before she had distracted me.

"Of course I did," she said, wrapping an arm around my neck.

"Tonks…" I say, and I felt like I had mumbled her name too many times in one morning. "I'm a… a you-know-what."

"I know that," she said, her fingers running through my hair.

"Tonks…" I mumble again.

"Shhh," she croons putting a finger up to my lips. "Don't talk, just enjoy it."

Then she leans in for another kiss. This time, I pull away and take a few deep breaths, my back facing her. Did she know what she was doing? She must be in shock or something… No one would ever want to kiss someone like me.

"What was that for?" she asked angrily.

"Tonks, do you realize what you're doing?" I asked, turning around to face her. She stood in the middle of the deserted corridor, hands on her hips.

"Of course I do," she repeated. "What's wrong with kissing, Remus? We're teenagers for God's sake."

"I know, I know…" I say, stepping back as she tries to advance again. "Tonks, you just found out I'm a you-know-what, so then you go and snog me?"

"You snogged me first!" she exclaimed, taking a step back in defense. Okay. Maybe I did. Shit. Why did I do that again?

"Yes… I did," I admit, feeling my face starting to burn up.

"Yes you did," she repeats, taking another step forward. "So why am I at fault?"

"You're not…" I admit. This is all my fault. "But I didn't mean to."

"You didn't mean to?" she asks incredulously. "What? Did a gust of wind blow you into me and your lips just happened to be puckered?"

"Uhm… Maybe," I say, rubbing the back of my neck with my palm. "Look, Tonks-"

Again, she cuts me off with her lips. I have to admit, I really like it. I never wanted to stop kissing her, her body as close to mine as it ever has been. But no, I have to change her mind. I'm not good for her.

"Tonks…" I mumble against her lips, trying to stop.

"What's the matter now, Remus?" she asks stubbornly.

"I don't think this is a good idea," I say, still centimeters away from her lips. I couldn't pull myself away.

"Why not?" she asks, grabbing my hands. "We both like each other, right?"

"I… I do," I stammer. "Very much. But-"

"So what's the problem?" she asks impatiently. I can't concentrate with her this close. I pull away to clear my head.

"Tonks… Just… just give it some time," I say, not coming up with a better solution.

"What?" she asks.

"Just give it some time," I repeat. "Like…a year or so to yanno, see if you still have feelings for me after you see how, uh…, terrible I am before and after the full moon." I'm a terrible liar.

"I've already seen that," she says, glancing down at the floor, the situation finally becoming uncomfortable for her.

"How would you like a werewolf for a boyfriend, huh? Sounds fun right?" I say sarcastically, hoping to provoke her into dropping it. But she doesn't.

"But I don't care," she says. That won't be the last time those words escape her lips.

"I know, I get it. Just give it a year okay?" I ask, walking over and placing my hands on her shoulders. "Just to see if you still want me."

"Fine…" she says, releasing herself from my grasp. She sulks away, walking back to the wall I had found her leaned up against to retrieve her wand.

"But yanno…. I could use another kiss," I say, trying to sound as alluring as I could, but knowing I was failing miserably. "Just so we don't have withdraw over the next year."

"I don't object to that," she says, and flings herself at me again, our lips locked. This kiss is at least a minute long, and completely bliss. Her arms wrapped around my neck, my arms wrapped tightly around her waist. I didn't want to stop. I had never felt happier in my life.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Tonks's POV*_

The next few weeks are very awkward between me and Remus. All I know is that I like him, and really, really like him. I can still feel the ghost of his last kiss brush my lips when I lay in bed in the early hours of the morning. No one else knows about our little romance in the corridor, at least I think no one knows. I have my suspicions about James and Sirius, but they never mention it. I hadn't told anyone, so if it got out, it wouldn't be my fault.

My birthday came and passed without much excitement. My parents sent me a fantastic present though. An owl! I had always wanted an owl! I had had to use Sasha's owl up until now, but after I got Mordecai, I would never have to use Sasha's old owl again! And if you're wondering about the name, I had read it in an adventure novel that I loved. I also thought the name was extremely cool, something you wouldn't normally name an owl.

Although Mordecai brought me joy, I still couldn't keep my mind off Remus for the rest of October and November. Christmas was soon evident over all parts of the grounds and school. Snow fell in heavy blizzards, blanketing the whole school in pearly white snow. I didn't complain, I loved the snow!

One day, we got another bit of exciting news: James's mother had invited us all to spend the holidays at James's house! As soon as James told us this, my mind automatically thought _There's no way in hell that my mother would let me go._ But, to my complete and total surprise, she agreed the following day. Now I had something to look forward to.

Packing wasn't as nearly as traumatic as it was last year. I was in a good mood, ready to leave the school and venture off with my friends! Unfortunately, Peter wouldn't be accompanying us on this trip. His mother insisted that he come home for Christmas. Although we weren't great friends, I still felt bad for him.

It was the evening before the train left Hogsmede station to take us home for Christmas. We were all seated around the fire, laying around in sweats and t-shirts. We looked like complete and total bums, but we didn't mind. Remus had his head rested on an open book like a pillow while he slept. I couldn't help but glance over a few times. This caught the attention of Sirius.

"Waitin' for another kiss, chickadee?"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

There you have it! If you need to (because you forgot), re-read the beginning! Please respond to anything you feel like!

PLEASE REVIEW!

XOXO

Ps. HAPPY BIRTHDAY REMUS! Again. (;


	31. Chapter 30

_The only guy that will ever be good enough for you Is the one who thinks he doesn't deserve you. - Unknown Author _

(I LOVE this one! Too perfect!)

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Sirius's POV* _

Yeah I know about the kiss. Do I resent Remus for getting his hands on her first? Yeah, I guess you could say I do. But I'm not giving up hope that she will change her mind. I mean common. Who doesn't want a piece of this?

There she sits in the Gryffindor common room, clad in sweatpants and a t-shirt splattered in dried mud. Today, she had chosen dark brown hair that matched her eyes. It was pulled up into a messy bun complete with black glasses. Still, she was the most attractive girl I'd seen at this school, except maybe the slag from her dorm, Scarlet. And yes, she is a slag. I've heard more about her than you would ever want to know.

I was just examining her outfit when I noticed her continuously glancing over at my pal Remus. Now, don't get me wrong, Remus is still my best friend, more like my brother. But I am totally jealous of him. He kissed _her!_ And she kissed him back! I hadn't told her I knew about it before now. I figured I'd try and keep it a secret, but seeing this made jealousy boil up inside me like a tea kettle.

"Waitin' for another kiss, chickadee?"

This totally caught her off guard. Her head whips around to face me, indifferent. I know she's trying to hide it, but she is utterly embarrassed.

"What are you talking about, Sirius?" James asks to my left. For once in my life, I had kept a secret from James. The secret of the Remus and Tonks romance.

"She kissed Moony over there," I say blatantly.

"Who's Moony?" he asks.

"Who's Moony," I answer sarcastically. Who else would be Moony?

"Are you talking about Remus?" he asks. He had less brains than I had thought.

"Well duh!" I exclaim. "Who else would be Moony?"

"I dunno…" James said, picking up his sports magazine again.

"Do you like the nickname?" I ask.

"I do," James says. "It's very fitting."

"What do you think Tonks?" I ask her, turning back to her face that had now registered shock.

"Uhm… well," she stammers, trying to start a sentence.

"Whas wrong with you?" James asks, putting down his magazine again.

"N-nothing," she says again, her eyes darting back to me every few seconds.

"She's caught off guard because I know about her kiss," I explain.

"_What_ kiss?" James asks again.

"Yeah, what kiss?" she asks, but I know she's lying. She knows exactly what I'm talking about and she was caught off guard.

"The one between you and Remus," I explain.

"We- we didn't-" she starts.

"Oh common, don't even try to lie," I say, chuckling.

"Sirius I have no idea what you're talking about," she says, finally gaining the confidence to lie.

"Tonks, I saw it with my own eyes!" I say, sitting up. "You cant lie, chickadee." That was a name I had gotten in the habit of calling her recently. I liked it.

"We didn't kiss!" she exclaims.

"I saw you!" I say. "I was walking to find where you two had run off to and I saw you two eating each others faces!"

She sits there in shock for a second, her jaw hanging wide open.

"Is that true?" James asks, startling me.

"Well of course!" I say, turning to him.

"When?" he asks.

"Few months ago," I answer, turning back to face her. She still sat there with her jaw to the floor.

"Well it finally happened!" James says, giving a small applause. This makes my stomach knot up in anger. How dare he, when he knows how much I like her?

"Yeah, yeah. We all knew Remus and Tonks were gonna fall in love," I say sarcastically.

"We are _not_ in love!" she says, her face growing redder by the second.

"Your face says it all chickadee," I say plainly. She seems to feel her bright red face and relaxes, throwing herself back against the couch her and Remus occupied.

"Alright…" she says. "You win Sirius."

I give a small whoop and I turn to face James, who was the one in shock now.

"You really did it?" he asks, throwing down his magazine and sitting up.

"Well…" she starts, embarrassed. "Yeah."

"Holy shit!" James says, overreacting a bit. "How was it?"

"Uhm…" she says, biting her lip. "Nice."

"Nice?" James asks incredulously. "Just nice?'

"Nice!" she says, going even a deeper shade of scarlet. "Just nice!"

After all this excitement, Remus stirs.

"What's going on?" he asks groggily.

"Congratulations Remus!" James exclaims.

"What did I do?" he asks, throwing his head back down on the book.

"You kissed Tonks, of course!"

This seems to stop him in his tracks. He sits straight up, alert, and faces Tonks.

"Wha- wha-?" he tries to form the sentence.

"I'm sorry!" she squeals, putting her beet red face in her hands.

"She didn't tell us," I say, not wanting Remus to be mad at her. Although I wish they would leave each other alone, I didn't want to see her unhappy.

"She didn't?" Remus inquires.

"No, I saw you," I explain. Tonks tentatively pulls her face out of her hands and looks at Remus.

"You saw us?" Remus asks, his face slowly turning the shade of Tonks's.

"Yeah," I say bluntly.

"How?"

I take a minute to re-tell my story.

"Oh my God…." he says, pulling his face over his hands as well.

"The corridor isn't exactly a private place," I say, chuckling.

I see Tonks look over at Remus and they lock eyes. I sigh.

"I guess you're right," he admits.

"Can you not tell anyone?" Tonks blurts out.

"But… aren't you two a couple now?" James asks.

"Uhm… well…" Remus says, looking at Tonks. "No."

"You aren't?" I ask, as shocked as James is.

"It's a long story," Remus explains. I know he doesn't want to get into the full details with us at this moment, but mark my words, I _will_ find out. I mean common, I'm Sirius Black.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Tonks's POV*_

I can't believe someone knows! I cannot believe it! How embarrassing!

"So do you promise to keep it a secret?" I ask.

"Sure," Sirius says, falling back against the couch.

"James?" Remus asks next to me.

"Of course," he says. "I'm just so happy it happened!"

"Uhm… yeah," Remus says, glancing down into his lap, obviously uncomfortable.

The rest of the evening is very awkward indeed. Not much more goes on besides James flipping through his magazine, Sirius re-reading _Quidditch Through the Ages,_ and Remus and I sitting there awkwardly. James soon announces that we should go to bed.

"Might as well," Sirius responds. "Big day tomorrow."

Soon, James and Sirius are heading for the dorms.

"Coming chickadee?" Sirius asks me.

"Give me a second, I would like a word with Remus," I explain, turning to face the man himself. He gives me a small grin and sets his bags down on the couch.

"Fine," Sirius says, continuing on to the dorms. As he ascends the spiral stairs, I hear him whisper to James: "They just want to snog some more." I don't know why he's so upset over this whole thing. I wait until their dorm door closes to turn back and speak to Remus.

"Remus-" I start, but I'm cut off by his lips meeting mine. The sweet scent of him comes off his raggedy Gryffindor t-shirt. Our sweatpant-clad legs are glued together. I couldn't more if I wanted to. His strong arms wrap around my waist, holding me there as if I were his life source. Like if he ever let me go, he would die….

This kiss lasts longer than the ones that came before it. It was the best one so far. His soft lips slowly caressed mine, his fingers slowly tracing invisible patterns on my back. It was almost soothing.

I vaguely wondered why he was doing this. After all, he was the one to say _Wait a year._ This a dumb rule as far as I'm concerned. I could snog him like this all day. I want to be loved like this forever.

All too soon, we break apart, taking slow, deep breaths still pressed against one another. I slowly open my eyes and realize how close we really are. I can see the hundreds of different shades of amber his eyes are. I can count the number of faint freckles and eyelashes on his face. Our eyes are locked, taking in everything we could about the other.

All of a sudden, he breaks away from me, striding over to collect his bag and almost running up the spiral staircase, past the landing, and up the stairs leading to the boys dorm. He leaves me standing there all by myself in the Gryffindor common room, still trying to catch my breath, still trying to make sure my heart was still beating. I soon realize that he had taken it with him.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

What do you think about Sirius's POV? Please comment!

I _really_ like this one! ^.^ Funny AND romantic.

PLEASE REVIEW!

XOXO


	32. Chapter 31

_If I had to choose between loving you and breathing, I would use my last breath to say I love you. - Unknown Author_

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Remus's POV*_

The next morning, I awoke way before the other boys. My mind was working too fast for me to sleep any longer. Every time I closed my eyes, images and feelings of the night before returned, making goose bumps rise on my arms. One particular time, I was reliving the sensation of being that close to her, my lips slowly caressing hers. This sensation actually made me feel so elated that I had to sit up. My breath came out short and fast, almost panting. I ran my hand through my hair and sighed. Would I ever feel that again?

For some odd reason, when I thought about this, I didn't feel anything but safety and acceptance. I could think of a dozen other things that a teenage boy should feel when he kisses a pretty girl. No, she's not pretty. She's stunning. She's beautiful. She's perfect. I imagine her beautiful eyes as they dance the way they do when she laughs. I can't help but grin so much it hurts.

I take a deep, shaking breath and throw myself down on my pillow. All of a sudden, the alarm blares over on Sirius's nightstand. I give a deep sigh again and put my hand over my eyes as I realize I have to finish packing. I groan and sit up, wondering why Sirius hasn't turned off the alarm yet.

"Hey," I say weakly, not exactly woken up yet. "Hey you. Sirius… Sirius! Wake up you lazy arse!" He still doesn't stir. I look over at James and Peter who are still dead to the world. I sigh and remember why I'm the responsible one. I slowly slide my legs off the bed, stand up, shuffle over the alarm and punch the off button. I then lean down right next to Sirius's ear and shout:

"GET UP YOU LAZY SACK OF POTATOES! THE ALARM ALREADY WENT OFF! IT'S TIME TO GET UP!"

The effect is immediate. Sirius jumps out of his bed and lands on the other side with a _THUMP. _James sits up and screams like a girl. Peter wakes up and climbs a post on his bed like a monkey, whimpering.

"Who's there? Who's there? _Who is in here_?" Peter shrieks from his perch near the ceiling.

"It's me you idiots!" I scream over the madness that's occurring over my attempt to wake them.

"_Remus_!" James yells as Peter stops his shrieking. "You git! _You_ _git_!"

Sirius suddenly pops out from behind his bed, rubbing his head.

"Bloody hell mate," he says, climbing on top of his bed, glaring at me.

"You wouldn't get up!" I argue.

"Yeah but you didn't need to shock us to death!" James exclaims.

"Look, you made Peter climb a tree!" Sirius points out as Peter struggles to hold on to the thin piece of wood at the top of the bed posts. All of a sudden, he loses his grip and thuds to the floor. I cant help but laugh and soon the room is filled with our laughter. Suddenly, all feelings of anger from the other boys vanish and we're just best friends having a good time.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Tonks's POV*_

For some odd reason, I was ready extra early this morning. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that I couldn't sleep. My heart wouldn't stop fluttering.

So, there I was, sitting alone in the Gryffindor common room, laden with bags upon bags, wondering whether or not I had packed too much. I half-heartedly kicked at one piece of luggage, watching all the other students milling about, saying goodbye to friends, and gathering luggage of their own. I had been sitting there for at least half an hour and was almost ready to go up and get myself. Then, all of a sudden, the boys stumble down the stairs and into the common room.

"All ready, Tonksie?" Sirius asks as he strides over to meet me.

"Yeah," I answer, gathering up my stuff. "Been ready for half an hour."

"Sorry, we would've been ready sooner if it hadn't been for Peter here," James says, chuckling. I had no idea what he was talking about and I didn't know if I really wanted to either.

"Alright…" I say warily, picking up the last of my luggage.

"Holy bags, chickadee," Sirius says, looking wide-eyed at the plethora of bags surrounding me.

"Umm… yeah," I say, feeling my face redden up.

"Why not use your trunk?" James asks, grabbing a bag from my arm to give me some help.

"Uhm… well originally, I thought it would be too much for just two weeks worth of stuff," I explain. "Then I realized it would've been much easier to have used that instead of this madness. But I was just too lazy to repack it all."

"God Tonks," James says, shouldering another one of my bags. "What in the world do you have in here?"

"I dunno…" I say as we head off toward the portrait hole. "Girl stuff." As we make our way out, James, Sirius, and Peter walk ahead and leave me and Remus in the back. I glance over at him and we awkwardly lock eyes. The night before comes flooding back and I have a sudden urge to leap up and snog him.

"Coming, Tonks?" James asks. I realize that Remus and I are standing gaping at each other, blocking the portrait hole.

"Oh! Yeah… Sorry," I mumble, stepping through to meet the other boys, Remus at my heels. As we walk away, I hear Sirius whisper: "I knew they were snogging."

The train ride is boring and uneventful. Even after we get snacks from the food trolley and play a few games of Extreme Exploding Snap (which is regular Exploding Snap, just extreme) we're all still bored. Remus sits near the window reading, Sirius sprawls out on a seat reading a magazine, James doodles a picture in his Transfiguration textbook, and Peter is curled up on the floor taking a nap. I lay on my belly on the seat Remus occupies opposite Sirius, reading the adventure novel that had Mordecai's name in it for the umpteenth time. I casually turn a page and sigh when I hear a loud snoring sound and a thud fill the compartment.

We all whip our heads around and Remus, who's book had dropped to the ground, is pressed up against the window, obviously sleeping and snoring more loudly than I had ever heard anyone snore in my life. James and Sirius snicker.

"Does he usually snore like this?" I whisper.

"No not at all," James whispers back.

"Weird," I say, looking back over at a sleeping Remus.

"Well wasn't the full moon a few days ago?" James asks.

"Yes," I answer without thinking.

"That's what I thought… Maybe it's some weird side-effect," James says, leaning back on the seat he shares with Sirius to doodle again.

I sigh, lay back down on my stomach, and turn back to my book, trying to concentrate, but it's impossible. The whole compartment is silent except for Remus's loud snoring.

"Can someone shut him up?" Sirius blurts out suddenly.

"I was just wondering the same thing," I admit.

"I will!" James offers, standing up. He turns around and rummages through his bag, looking for something.

"What in the world are you looking for?" I ask, sitting up.

"Eh… I dunno," he says, still rummaging. "Something hard and heavy to hit him with."

"Don't!" I exclaim, throwing my book down and standing up. "You'll hurt him!"

"Ooh sorry, I don't want to hurt your boyfriend," James says sarcastically, giving up on his hunt to find a heavy object.

"He's _not_ my boyfriend!" I exclaim for the hundredth time.

"Geez common Tonks," Sirius says, putting down his magazine. "You both admitted you were snogging!"

"Yeah that doesn't mean he's my boyfriend!" I argue.

"Okay," Sirius says, nonchalantly picking up his magazine again. "He's your love interest."

I stand there, arms crossed, glaring at Sirius.

"Well at least I don't like a total slag," I sassily say as I sit back down, crossing my legs.

"Who are you talking about?" he asks, looking up from his magazine.

"Scarlet," I state.

"Oh yeah she's a total slag," he says truthfully. So he's not offended and actually agrees with me. Well, when it come to Scarlet, who wouldn't?

"Then why do you like her?" I ask.

"For that reason," he says, flipping a page.

"Oh god Sirius Black," I say, chuckling.

"And Remus is a slag, you know," he says.

"Oh yeah, he's a total slag," I say sarcastically looking over at his limp figure up against the window. "All bloodthirsty werewolves are slags." I roll my eyes at Sirius's silliness.

"Why did you call me Sirius Black?" he asks vaguely.

"I dunno…" I say, taken aback by this odd question. "It sounded right."

"Hmmm… interesting," he says, still not looking at me.

"What's your middle name anyways?" I ask.

"Orion," he says. "You?"

"Ugh. I'm not stating that ugly name to the world," I say making a fake gagging sound.

"So you hate your first and middle name?" James asks.

"Yep pretty much," I say.

"Common, you can tell us," Sirius coaxes.

"Fine…" I say, and take a deep breath. "Vulpeca."

"Nymphadora Vulpeca Tonks?" James asks incredulously. "And you have a brother named Aaron Mark Tonks?"

"Yes I do," I say. "And Aaron Mark is so much simpler than Nymphadora Vulpeca."

"I have to agree…" Sirius says. "I like Tonksie the best."

"Thanks Sirius," I say with a small chuckle.

"Do you know Remus's middle name?" James asks suddenly. And without thought I blurt out:

"John." I should've pretended not to know. Then it wouldn't be so obvious that I like him. I turn scarlet. For some reason the boys don't seem to pick up on this.

"Didn't know that," James says. "Mine's Alexander."

"James Alexander Potter," I say. "That's a good name."

"I know right?" he says, smiling.

All of a sudden, Remus stirs in his sleep and the snoring stops.

"Thank. God," Sirius says.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

This one is just kind of supposed to be funny and happy(: Hope you enjoyed it!

PLEASE REVIEW!

XOXO


	33. Chapter 32

Hey guys! Fun fact : Today I watched a documentary on Anne Frank and the narrator was Kenneth Branagh! As in Gilderoy Lockhart! It was awesome! I was the only person in the class to pick up on it! Anyways, enjoy!(:

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_"When I saw you I was afraid to meet you. When I met you I was afraid to kiss you. When I kissed you I was afraid to love you. Now that I love you, I am afraid to lose you." _

_- Anonymous _

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Tonks's POV*_

When we pull into the train station, I notice that it isn't complete madness like it usually is when we come home for summer break. I would say half of the usual families are on the platform, mostly because some students stayed at Hogwarts for winter break. The other problem could be the missing people because of… of… Lord Voldemort. But how was I supposed to know? I'm a 13-year-old girl!

"Remus, wake up you lazy git," Sirius mumbles as we collect our belongings. I know he's just joking as all teenage boys do, but I cant help but shoot him a dirty look. Remus stirs then sits up, rubbing his eyes.

"You were snoring like an ape," James comments as he shoulders his bag.

"Was I?" Remus asks, collecting his book from the floor. "I don't usually snore, do I?"

"No, not usually," James says. "Maybe it's some weird side-effect from the… well… you know…"

"Ummm… I don't know," Remus says sarcastically, chuckling a little. As he bends over to put his book away, I notice a huge bandage covering the back of his neck.

"Remus!" I blurt out, setting down my own bag down and running over to examine him.

"What?" he asks, startled.

"This bandage!" I say, running my hand along its soft surface. "Where did it come from?"

"The Hospital Wing…" he explains, still a little confused as to why I'm asking this question.

"I know that, silly," I say as he turns around to face me. I completely forget that the other boys are there. "But, I mean, I didn't feel it when we were kissing the other night!"

All of a sudden, the compartment freezes and I suddenly remember we are not alone.

"'When we were kissing!'" James repeats. "I thought that was a few months ago!"

"Shit," I mutter.

"Tonks," Remus says quietly, and I know this is only meant for me. "I was wearing a hoodie, so you know, the hood covered my neck."

"Oh…" I say. "It was just funny because… you get it."

"Yeah… I do," he says, smiling the slightest bit.

"So I was right," Sirius says. I turn to face him. "So you were snogging!"

"Yeah yeah, Sirius," Remus says, waving his hand in Sirius's direction as if to swat him away. "We're all teenagers here. We don't need to throw a parade when two people kiss."

I stand there in astonishment. Did Remus really just do that? Did he just sass Sirius? Sirius stands there gaping, like me, staring at Remus.

"Wow Remus," James says, slow clapping. "That was impressive and well-spoken."

"I know!" Sirius exclaims. "You know, I'm not even going to get mad because I'm so proud of you Moony!"

"Thanks guys…" Remus says, obviously a little shocked by his actions. I reach over and grab his hand as the other boys turn away to gather their things once again. He looks over at me and smiles, squeezing my hand.

"Alright so after that little scene," Sirius says, turning back around as me and Remus quickly let go of our hands. "We're off."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Remus's POV*_

Getting out of the car at James's house was like entering a different world. Now, I live back in the woods, far from any other people as well. (Well, I kind of have to don't I?) But my house is just one floor with three bedrooms. Pretty small… James's house is three floors, with multiple bedrooms, surrounded by a paved driveway and garage. He has three cars and a four-wheeler. Next to that is a barn full of horses. Everything is covered in glittery white snow. James and his brother Will, who is 16, live in the lap of luxury, something I'm not used to.

"Alright kids," Mrs. Potter says. "We're here."

"Finally," James says as he jumps out of the nice car and into the open air. "Aahh…"

"I missed your house, Jane," Sirius says, getting out as well. He must know Mrs. Potter enough to call her by her first name. Next, Tonks steps out and is obviously blown away like I was by the luxury of the place.

"Wow," she says, walking over to stand by me.

"I know," I mutter to her. Her eyes dart from place to place, trying to take it all in at once. But eyes have forgotten the nice things that surround me. They've found the most precious thing in the world. And it's standing right next to me wearing a black hoodie, ripped jeans, and black converse. I grin broadly.

"Are you two going to help or not?" James calls over from the trunk where he and Sirius are starting to unload all of Tonks's luggage.

"Honey don't," Jane instructs, walking over to James and Sirius. "Lowen should be here soon. She'll take those bags for you."

"Mom," James says through gritted teeth, turning away from us and talking in an undertone. "I got it."

"Who's Lowen?" Tonks asks besides me. Honestly I was wondering the same thing. And before James could shut her up, his mother says:

"Our maid, of course," like its no big deal. I look over at Tonks and see her eyes widen in astonishment.

"You have a maid?" Tonks asks, although immediately we both realize that was the wrong thing to say. James must be embarrassed by his richness for some reason. He blushes very brightly and mutters:

"Yeah we do…" and quickly adds, "But I don't think we need her."

All of a sudden, another car pulls up. This one is obviously not owned by the Potters because it is much shabbier than the one we drove here in. A young woman with long brown hair gets out. She obviously looks nothing like the kind who would want any trouble. A little shy, very kind, very sweet. That is all I can gather about her personality as she waddles towards us. And I say waddles because she looks to be about seven months pregnant. Her swollen belly is covered by an off-white apron and simple brown dress. She has a wand tucked in her apron at her side.

"I'm so sorry Mrs. Potter," she says as she approaches us. "Maggie and David were fighting, and Christopher was wailing! There was nothing I could do! And John is away so he wasn't there so help me… I'm just so sorry I'm late. Is there anything I can do to assist you?"

"Of course there is," Mrs. Potter says. "Take this luggage upstairs and show the guests to the rooms we discussed last week." Mrs. Potter stalks away and into the house. As soon as she's gone, Lowen sighs and takes out her wand. Tonks leans over and whispers to me:

"Did you catch that she has three kids, too?" she asks.

"Yeah, I think so. Maggie, David, and Christopher," I whisper back. "And one on the way. Maybe they're pets or something."

"I don't think so," Tonks says, as we trudge through the snow towards the house. "She doesn't look old enough to have that many kids though."

"I agree…" I say. I glance over at her and notice that some snow had landed on her nose. I smile. She looks too cute.

Finally, we cross the thresh hold into what looks like something out of a magazine. The whole house is a actually a log cabin. Huge logs make up the walls. One is actually a floor to ceiling window that gives a great view of the forest. A roaring fire burns in a stone fireplace off to the right. To the left, there is a rustic-looking kitchen, although you can tell it is all modern appliances. Right in the middle, a wooden staircase splits the two rooms. The ceiling extends to the upper floor making the room look huge. The upper floor is open to the room below, kind of like a loft. Many doors lead off of this loft to what I assume are bedrooms. This place is amazing. I could never imagine myself living here, though.

"So…" James says, still a little nervous. "Whaddaya think?"

"It's brilliant!" Tonks exclaims. "I love it!"

"Really?" James asks, surprised. "You don't think it's… too much?"

"Well, I mean," Tonks starts as she walks over to the big window. "If you have the money, why not?"

"I guess…" James says as he walks over to join her. I look over and see Sirius has already made his way into the kitchen and was now eating a biscuit. "Sirius! Put that down you fat lard! Lowen made those for later!"

"But it's chocolate chip!" Sirius exclaims, pointing to the cookie. "My favorite! You know that James!"

"Oh my God Sirius, put that down!" I hear James exclaim. But I decide to drown out the rest of the silly conversation. I walk over and stand next to Tonks who is completely mesmerized by the forest. James and Sirius's row is heard in the background.

"So, what do you think?" I ask as I step up beside her.

"I wonder if this window opens," she says, obviously not listening to me.

"That's not what I asked," I say, chuckling.

"What?" she asks, finally tearing her gaze from out the window to me. "Sorry, I was… lost in my thoughts."

"I asked what you thought of this place," I say, leaning up against the window, crossing my arms.

"Oh," she says, dropping her eyes to the floor. "I think it's beautiful. But I could never see myself living in a place like this. I see myself living in a little flat in the city."

"Why?" I ask, intrigued.

"I dunno…." she says. "I guess it's just me."

All of a sudden, the door opens and Jane walks in calling for Lowen.

"Lowen!" she screeches. "Lowen! Ugh where is that girl?"

"I'm sorry Mrs. Potter!" Lowen squeals as she rushes out of one of the rooms in the loft above. "I was just putting away the luggage, as you told me to!"

"Oh… well anyways, are you done?" Jane asks, walking toward the kitchen.

"Um... Now I am," Lowen says, descending the stairs, a hand placed on her belly.

"Good," Mrs. Potter says as she pulls out a glass of water. "I need to you call the cabinet maker. I need a new patio set for the spring."

"Of course Mrs. Potter," Lowen says.

"Alright," Jane says, her eyes sweeping her spotless house. "You can take the guests to their rooms."

"Yes Mrs. Potter," Lowen says. She turns to us. "I can take you to your rooms now. Your luggage is already there."

"Thanks," Tonks says.

"Your welcome," Lowen says, as she starts to ascend the stairs. We all follow her. It turns out, we all have our own room. James uses his own, Sirius uses Will's because Will is on holiday with his friend, and Tonks and I use guest bedrooms. It's very comfortable and cozy.

We spend the first few days goofing around outside, putting up Christmas decorations, and making more biscuits. Then, before we know it, it's Christmas Eve. We're all sitting around the fire and our newly decorated tree, all drinking hot chocolate. We had just been outside playing in the woods, so we're all frozen. All of sudden, Sirius looks up and says:

"Oh look, mistletoe."

And you wouldn't believe who it's over. Me and Tonks.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Oh Christmas at the Potters!

Anyways, I need some feedback. I'm wondering if, when I get to this part, you guys want me to go into details about sex scenes or just imply them? I've been debating about this for a few weeks but I still have a few more years to go before I need to really worry. I guess im just wondering in advance. If you could PM me what you think, that would be great! Thanks!

PLEASE REVIEW!

XOXO


	34. Chapter 33

_Love is like a friendship caught on fire. In the beginning a flame,very pretty,Often hot and fierce, But still only light and love grows older,Our hearts matureAnd our love becomes as coals,Deep-burning and unquenchable. - Bruce Lee _

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Tonks's POV*_

"Oh look, mistletoe." Sirius comments vaguely. I search the ceiling and as soon as I locate it, I want to throw up. It's hanging innocently above me and Remus.

"Wha-?" I say, looking up at it. I glance over at Remus and see his eyes are also fixed on the greenery above us.

"Well," Sirius says, snickering with James. "You know what that means!"

"No!" I say, crossing my arms, glaring at James and Sirius. "Not in front of you two!"

"Ohh…" Sirius says. "So you'll do it in private?"

"No!" I say, feeling embarrassed.

"Wow Remus," James says. "You must be pretty un-kissable then."

For some reason, this makes me mad. I don't know why, but I feel like I have to prove something to them. I turn to Remus, look at him for a second, then grab his face in my hands and kiss him full on the mouth.

I hear wolf-whistles and applause fill the luxurious log cabin. I hear: "Woop woop!" and "Get some Remus!" and "Ow ow!" I know my face is 100 different shades of red as we break apart. When I open my eyes, I realize that Remus's face is like that too.

"Woooooooow," I hear Sirius say. But I don't look at him. Mine and Remus's eyes are locked. "I didn't expect that!"

"Well," Remus says, still gazing at me. "You should be happy now."

"Hey," James says. "You two snap out of it!"

"Sorry," I say, finally looking away. I know I'm still blushing. James and Sirius look at each other and break out laughing. "Shut up," I say, chuckling a little, throwing a very expensive-looking pillow at them. All of a sudden, we hear someone clearing their throat and we all whip around to see who was trying to make their presence known. We see Mrs. Potter standing there in a silky pink robe, arms crossed. She also seems to have some kind of face mask that's a sickly shade of green on her face. A towel is wrapped around her head. She seems to be ready for bed.

"What mom?" James asks, annoyed.

"Am I not allowed to say goodnight to my son?" she says crossly.

"Sorry mum…" James says, standing up and walking over to give her a hug. "Where's dad?"

"At work," Jane answers, hugging her youngest son tightly.

"Still?" James asks, sounding disappointed. I actually had noticed that Mr. Potter hadn't been around the whole time we had spent at James's house. He must be somewhat of a workaholic.

"Yeah yeah…" Mrs. Potter says, breaking away from James. "We will see him tomorrow hopefully."

"Hopefully," James says. "G'night mum."

"Goodnight James," Jane says. "Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas," James replies.

"Oh and Merry Christmas to you all," Mrs. Potter says, acknowledging us.

"Merry Christmas," Sirius, Remus, and I say in unison.

"Don't stay up too late," Mrs. Potter says as she starts to ascend the stairs. "And if you see Lowen, tell her she is dismissed."

"Alright mum," James says.

"I mean it," she says. "To bed soon." Then she opens her bedroom door and disappears. As soon as the bedroom door closes, the front door opens and a snow-covered Lowen enters, stomping her boots on the welcome mat.

"Lowen," James says, walking over to her. "Mum says that you're dismissed."

"Oh!" Lowen says, looking surprised. "But I have to start the pancakes for tomorrow morning and finish wrapping presents and-"

"It's fine," James says, giving her a big hug. "Thank you so much, Lowen. Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas James," she says accepting the hug. For some reason, this makes me a bit teary eyed. James isn't spoiled rotten like his mother. Beneath his hard outer shell, he's a good guy. I get up and take James's place in Lowen's arms as he releases her.

"Thank you for taking care of us these past few days, Lowen," I say. She seems even more surprised with my hug.

"You're welcome Tonks," she says, patting my back. "Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas," I say, breaking apart and smiling up at her.

"Goodnight everyone!" Lowen says as she opens the door and travels out into the snowy night.

"G'night!" we all say as the door closes. As soon as the door is closed, I slap James's arm playfully and say:

"That was so nice James!"

"What?" he asks, startled.

"Thanking her!" I say.

"Oh…" he says, shrugging. "She needed it."

"You're right," I say, still beaming.

"Awww James!" Sirius says out of nowhere, obviously mocking me. "You're too sweet!"

"Shut up, Sirius," I say, playfully slapping him as well.

"I'm just kidding, I'm just kidding…" Sirius says, laughing.

"Yes yes, James is a little sweetheart, we all know," Remus says, walking over to join us near the front door. My heart swells at the sight of him and I am suddenly overcome with joy. I love them all so much.

"Group hug," I say, and without hesitation, we all come together and wrap our arms around each other. We stand there, connected, for a long time. "Merry Christmas boys."

"Merry Christmas," they all say. All of a sudden, the clock strikes 12 and we realize we should go to bed soon. We all start to ascend the stairs and venture off to our appropriate bedrooms. James and Sirius go off to the right and Remus and I go off to the left. As soon as we hear James and Sirius's doors close, we stop and stare at each other.

"Merry Christmas," I whisper.

"Merry Christmas to you too," Remus whispers back, a slight smile tugging on the edge of his lips.

"Remus…" I whisper, thinking about what he had said earlier this year about waiting to start a relationship. I don't know why this suddenly comes up. "Why?" For some reason, he seems to understand what I'm asking about.

"I want to wait," he says quietly.

"But why?" I plead. "Remus, it's so hard. I just want to be with you."

"I know, I know," Remus whispers, stepping into me and placing a hand on my cheek. "But I can't."

"Why can't you?" I ask, feeling a tear leak down my cheek. He reaches out with his thumb and wipes it away.

"I can't explain," he says.

"Try," I beg.

"I'm… I'm not good enough for you," he explains, wiping away another tear.

"Yes you are!" I argue. "Yes you are… You _are_ good enough for me! You're perfect."

"_I'm_ perfect?" he questions, chuckling. "You're the perfect one."

"I'm anything but perfect," I say, choking on my tears.

"Don't cry… don't cry," he croons, caressing my cheek. "Tonks remember, we're still young! "

"I know that," I say quietly, sniffling.

"We're 13..." he says, leaning in to kiss me on the cheek. His lips linger there as he whispers, "We have all the time in the world to fall in love."

We stand there in this embrace for a few minutes. Without thinking, I blurt out my next request.

"Don't leave me please?" I ask.

"What?" Remus asks, baffled, pulling away. "You want me to…" he trails off.

"Yes," I answer.

"Tonks I cant," he says.

"Sleep on the floor then," I say. "Ill give you blankets so it wont be hard."

"Tonks," he says, looking over his shoulder cautiously. "I dunno…"

"Come on," I say, grab his hands, and lead him into my bedroom. I throw all of the blankets from my bed on the floor and crawl onto the empty mattress.

"You need some covers," he says, arranging the blankets on the floor into something like a nest.

"No," I say, laying my head on my arms. "You're the one sleeping on the hard floor."

"At least take this one blanket," he says, holding up the fuzziest one. I consider it for a moment.

"Okay," I agree, and take the blanket. I hold it for a second and watch Remus remove his shoes. He stands up and surveys the dark room. A panel of moonlight shines over my body, flecked with the shadows of falling snow.

"You can't wear shoes to bed, silly," he says, walking to the foot of my bed and untying my converses. One by one, he slides them off and lays them carefully at the foot of my bed. He then looks down at my socked feet and smiles. "Your socks don't match."

"I know they don't," I say matter-of-factly. "I like it that way."

"Why?" he asks, chuckling.

"I dunno…" I say. "It makes me unique I guess."

"You're already unique," he says, grinning. He grabs my big toe and playfully shakes it before he walks back to his nest on the ground. "Get some rest."

"I don't want any rest," I argue, wrapping myself in the fuzzy blanket.

"But I do," he says, laying down into his mess of blankets and covering up.

"Hold my hand," I say quietly. He looks up at me uncertainly then grabs my outstretched hand. His fingers intertwine with mine and our palms rest perfectly against each other.

"Merry Christmas," he whispers again as he closes his eyes.

"Merry Christmas," I whisper back, then drift off into a dream world as well.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Im not sure whether or not they are taking this too fast… but well, im the author dammit. So it can be as fast as I want! Hahaha! (:

And don't forget the question I asked last chapter! Please answer!

Also, if you have a twitter, I would highly suggest following marauders7! I follow them and they are my favorite twitter page ever! Go. Follow. Them. You wont regret it!

Also, FYI the new avatar! I actually drew it! Funnnn stuff!

PLEASE REVIEW!

XOXO


	35. Chapter 34

_"You know you are in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams." - Dr. Seuss _

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Remus's POV*_

The next morning, bright, white sunlight pours in the through the window above her bed as sleeps like an angel. We're both still dressed in our everyday clothes because it wouldn't have been right to have changed in front of each other. The strings from her black hoodie are criss-crossed over her nose as she sleeps. Her mix-matched socks poke out from the end of her fuzzy blanket.

What did I do? _What_ did I do?

Did I just spend the night with her? No, I didn't actually sleep with her. I slept on the floor! This can't be as bad as I think it is…

I run my fingers through my hair the way I do when I'm stressed out. I notice her hand is still dangled over the edge of the bed just the way it was before we fell asleep. I reach up and grab it. It's warm and soft under my rough, scarred hand.

I suddenly realize it's not like I haven't slept with her before. That one night last year when I was recovering from a particularly hard full moon she stayed up half the night with an unconscious me. That takes away some of the guilt I feel.

I decide it's time to get my lazy ass moving. I stand up and pick up my shoes. I decide that I can still pretend I had spent the night in my own room. Right before I reach the door, I remember the blankets on the floor. I turn around and quietly sneak back to the jumbled pile on the floor. I glance over at Tonks and realize her lips are blue. I lean down to confirm that weird observation and that she is actually shivering in her sleep.

Why did I take all the blankets? This poor girl must've been shivering the whole night. Now that I have been out of the blankets for some time, I realize how cold it is in the Potter's house. You' d think with all the money they have that they would be able to afford a proper heating system.

One by one, I take a blanket and place over it her shivering body, making sure each one is tucked tightly around her. I count that I had 12 blankets and she had one. I feel like a fool. I glance down at my watch and guess that James and Sirius will be up soon. I lean down and tuck the blankets in around her one more time and plant a gentle kiss on her cheek. Then, I quietly sneak out her room and down the hall to my own.

I cross to my bed and lay down under the covers. I suddenly think of the possibility that she might get mad. I mean, I guess it was kind of jerk-ish to leave her like that… But, I stand by my decision that it was the best thing for all of us. All of a sudden, I hear loud footsteps echoing down the walkway of the loft.

_James and Sirius are up_. I think. I try to position myself so it looks like I have been sleeping soundly for hours. I think to myself: _I'm a terrible actor._

All of a sudden, the door to my bedroom bursts open and I hear Sirius shout:

"Merry Christmas Moony! Time to get up!"

I try to pretend like their sudden presence is what wakes me up. I groan and sit up, rubbing my eyes.

"Morning," I say sleepily.

"Moony, why are you wearing your day clothes?" James asks, walking over to me.

"Oh," I say, looking down at my grey t shirt, trying to look mildly surprised. "I dunno. I guess I was too tired last night."

"Yeah well," Sirius says, grabbing one of my arms and pulling me to my feet. "It's time to get up."

"Okay, okay," I say, grabbing a hoodie from the end of my bed.

"Let's go wake up Tonks!" Sirius says, and marches out of the room with James at his heels. At this time, I notice what they are wearing. Sirius dons a light up Christmas tree hat complete with ornaments and James is wearing reindeer antlers that slowly move forward and backward. One of these ridiculous headdresses is singing _Holly Jolly Christmas. _We walk down the walkway and right in front of Tonks's bedroom door, Sirius turns to me and says:

"Oh! We almost forgot Remus's hat!" and plops something on my head. Then, he turns and bursts Tonks's door open. "Merry Christmas Tonksie!"

We all walk in and find that she is already up and sporting a green shirt that has _Merry Christmas_ written in red on it.

"G'morning guys!" she exclaims and runs over to hug Sirius, then James, and finally me. Her arms wrap tentatively around my waist and her big brown eyes look up into mine as they dance with happiness. "Merry Christmas," she says to me.

"Merry Christmas," I respond. Her joyfulness fuels me to become more excited about this holiday. She releases me and turns back to the group of us.

"What are you guys wearing?" she asks, stifling a laugh.

"Christmas hats!" Sirius explains. I turn my head to the side and catch a glimpse of myself in a mirror. Sirius has put a two-foot tall snowman on top of my head complete with a scarf and arms. The snow man waves one arm in a friendly hello and chuckles. I feel my cheeks burn red.

"Well, you look ridiculous, you do," Tonks says, laughing.

"Tonks, where is your Christmas spirit?" James asks.

"I guess I'm not as cheerful as you lot," she says, smiling. "Common, I'm sure there's presents downstairs."

So, following the two leaders of the idiotic Christmas parade, we march downstairs and right to the Christmas tree. There are dozens of presents to be found there, all glistening gaily in the morning sun.

"Who are all of these for?" I hear Tonks ask in amazement.

"Us, I guess," James says, walking over to a particularly large one and reading the tag. "This one is for Remus actually."

"Me?" I question.

"Yeah," James says. "Remus Lupin, that's your name isn't it"

"From who?" I ask, walking over to the large box.

"Oliver," James answers.

"Oliver?" I say, as I kneel down to unwrap it. When I pull away the wrapping paper, I find a brown cardboard box. And inside that I find just books. Dozens and dozens of books. Every single one I pull out of the box brings me joy. Classic, fantasy, mystery, informative. Any genre you can think of is in there. And they are all my favorites.

You see, back home we don't own any books; I guess we are just too poor to afford them. We have to use the library or ask to borrow one from a neighbor. I never get the satisfaction of owning my own book. And at Hogwarts, I have to use the library to get books for enjoyment. Now Oliver has given me this gift. I won't ever have to borrow a book from anyone else again. I wont have to worry about whether or not I'll get it back in time. These books are all mine.

"Wooow," I mutter as I pull the last book out. It's titled _Oliver Twist_, my absolute favorite. I open the front cover and inside there's a note. I open it, and it reads:

_Dear Remus,_

_Finally got some books of your own, huh? Well, I hope you will enjoy these as much as you did when you first read them. I know how much you love to read. Mum and Dad say hi. Libby says hi and that she misses you. Kevin is being a prat and when I asked him if he wanted to say anything to you, he said no. Elizabeth is being the same way. Don't worry about it, little brother. One day they'll come around. Have a fantastic Christmas at James's and don't get in too much trouble. Keep me posted about that girl you fancy, alright? _

_Love, your brother Oliver._

I smile down at the page. Oliver is my best friend. The only one I can tell all of my secrets to. Kevin is my oldest brother who is 17. Elizabeth is my younger sister who is 11. Both of them are probably the biggest prats ever. They resent me for my lycanthropy. They refuse to eat meals with me at home. They don't let me in their rooms. Every time Kevin says something against me, I want to tear the house down around him. Elizabeth never says anything to my face, but I know she says things to Kevin and my parents.

Elizabeth had actually been there when I was bitten. We had been playing in the backyard of our old home in a suburban Muggle neighborhood. It was just getting dark and the moment the full moon rose, Greyback jumped out of the bushes and attacked me. His teeth got me right in my left side; the scar is still there today. She had been traumatized by this incident. She had to watch as my father and Kevin carried me into the house, bleeding and convulsing. Olivia, who we call Libby, was too young to remember this. Kevin was never the same after almost watching his brother die. Oliver was the only one who stayed calm the entire time. He stayed by me in St. Mungo's and supported my hysterical mother and father each time I took a turn for the worst.

I am pulled from my thoughts as Tonks lays a hand on my shoulder.

"I've never seen so many books for one person before," she says, settling down next to me. She had a piece of ribbon stuck in her hair.

"Well," I say as I pull the ribbon out. "My brother knows me well."

"I'm glad," she says, smiling. "The others are almost done unwrapping."

"Already?" I ask, turning my neck around to see James and Sirius ripping open even more boxes as we speak.

"Yeah," Tonks says, looking down into my lap where I have the note laid. "What's that?"

"Oh," I say, picking it up. "A note from my brother Oliver."

"Can I read it?" she asks.

"Sure," I say, handing it over to her. "Go ahead."

She scans the paper hastily. When she's done, the corners of her lips turn down. She turns around to make sure no one is listening.

"_That girl you fancy?_" she quotes, looking at me. Shit. I had forgotten about that part. "Does that, uhm, happen to be me?"

"Uh, yeah it does happen to be you," I say, smiling over at her.

"Really?" she asks, beaming.

"Yeah…" I say, blushing.

"I didn't know that you had told Oliver about me," she says, uncrossing her legs from the Indian style she has been sitting.

"Well," I say. "I tell Oliver everything. He's the only family I've got."

"I'm not mad," she says reassuringly. "I just didn't know."

"No one really does…" I say, taking the letter back and folding it up. "So what all did you get?"

"Nothing spectacular really," she says, watching her feet. "Just a few presents from my family."

"What did they get?" I ask, indicating James and Sirius.

"Ah, a lot of Quidditch stuff, books, clothes, junk no one but them would want," she says. "You know I have a present for you?"

"What?" I say, befuddled. "I thought we said we wouldn't get each other-"

"I know what we said," she says, taking a present from under the tree that no one had touched. "But I wanted to get you it anyway. It's not much." She hands me a small rectangular package.

"But I didn't get you anything," I argue.

"Yes you did," she says.

"No… I don't think I did," I say, chuckling a little.

"You stayed with me last night, didn't you?" she whispers.

"Yeah…" I say quietly. "But that's not exactly a present, is it?"

"To me it is," she whispers back. "It meant a lot to me."

"Your welcome," I say, then rip open the package. It's a little wooden picture frame that has a picture of the five of us in it. We're all laughing and smiling on the banks of the lake at Hogwarts. It vaguely reminds me of the picture we had gotten her for her 12th birthday. I realize it's the same picture, just smaller.

"I figured you would want a copy too," she says.

"Thanks so much," I say, looking up from the picture and over at her.

"Your welcome," she says, smiling down into her lap.

"Oi!" I hear Sirius call. "You two done? It's time for breakfast!"

"Yeah, yeah Sirius," Tonks says, standing up.

"Good! Common then!" he calls and he and James march into the kitchen.

"You still have that ridiculous hat on," Tonks says.

"Oh yeah," I say, and take it off.

"No, keep it on," she says, grabs it, and puts it back on my head. "You look cute."

"I look _cute_?" I say, chuckling. I think it's humanly impossible for anybody look cute in that hat.

"Yeah," she says as she straightens it. "I like it."

"You're about the only one," I smile down at her.

"No," she says, smiling back. And in one swift movement, she gets up on her tip toes and kisses my cheek lightly. "I think Sirius likes it too." And she's gone.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I _think_ I like this one…!

I hope everyone is having a fantastic week! (:

PLEASE REVIEW! :D

xoxo


	36. Chapter 35

_"As we grow older together, As we continue to change with age, There is one thing that will never change. . . I will always keep falling in love with you." - Karen Clodfelder _

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Tonks's POV*_

Christmas break ended entirely too fast. Having to leave this beautiful house to go back to school was almost depressing. I think the thing I'm gonna miss the most about break is Lowen. She is such a dear and so kind and sweet. She made sure we were well accommodated and didn't say a thing when she found Remus and I asleep in the same room. She just walked right back out to give us privacy. I couldn't thank her enough.

To be honest, Lowen is the only other person besides me and Remus who know about our little "sleepovers." For some reason, his presence by my bedside brings me unexplainable comfort and joy. I know he isn't too keen on the idea, but he does it nonetheless.

We meet up with Peter on the train. He tells us his break wasn't anything spectacular and we say the same to try to not make him feel so bad. It wasn't his fault he couldn't come anyways. Remus had his nose in one of his new books titled _A Tale of Two Cities. _When I asked him what it was about, he gave me a lengthy explanation about the French Revolution and someone named Sidney Carton. I tried to sound interested because he had told me this was another one of his favorites, but I just couldn't do it. Even for him. It was too boring.

Anyways, James, Sirius, and I, being the procrastinators we are, hadn't done any of our homework assigned for holiday break. So, we took full advantage of a multiple hour train ride to do it. You could say it was a disaster because most of it wasn't answered right, it was sloppy, etc etc. Remus just looked down at us and smirked because he had done all of his homework at James's house. I tried not to think about it.

Getting back into the flow of everyday life after such a fantastic break was a bit hard. Getting burdened with a lot of homework and studying and keeping up with your social life can really wear a person down. I have had many sleepless nights for sure. Getting up at 6am to get ready for classes doesn't help either.

A few full moons go by and before we know it, it's the end of May! For the most part, third year is completed! I can't believe it. We've all grown up so fast!

In years past, I had always known there was some kind of end of year dance, but first and second years weren't allowed to go. Aaron told me plenty about it and how much fun it was. So, I wasn't surprised when I saw the flyer posted in the Gryffindor common room.

It was a bright morning in early-June when we first noticed it. I, always being the cow's tail of the group, had just gotten up and was walking down the stairs into the common room when I heard the commotion.

"Hey Tonksie!" Sirius greets me as I enter the common room.

"What's going on over there?" I ask, indicating the mob congregated around the notice board.

"Oh," he says. "They posted something about that end of year dance."

"Did they?" I ask, kind of intrigued. "We can go this year, can't we?"

"Yeah," James says. "Third year and up."

"Good!" I say, striding over to the bulletin board as people clear out to go to breakfast. "It should be fun!"

"I guess so," James says. "But we gotta get ourselves dates, huh Sirius?"

"Yeah," Sirius says. "I'll just walk around shirtless and I'll get at least five."

"You're so full of yourself," I mutter.

"What was that chickadee?" he asks.

"Oh nothing," I say, finally reaching the bulletin board. Pinned on it is a bright yellow flyer that says:

_Hey Students! Looking for a fun way to close out the year? Well, it's that time again! Time for the annual end of year ball! (For students Third year and up.) _

_Attire: Formal (There will be a trip to Hogsmede one week previous to the ball to pick up any needed clothing.)_

_When: June 18__th__ at 5:00pm _

_Where: The Great Hall _

_Hope to see all of you there! _

After scanning the flyer three times, I turn to my left and expect to see Sirius, but Remus is standing there instead. His brow is furrowed as he reads the flyer.

"What's wrong?" I ask him.

"I… can't go," he says, looking nervously at his shoes.

"What?" I ask, astonished. "Why?"

"The 18th is the… yanno," he says, looking nervously around him to see if anyone is listening.

"Ohhh.." I say, recognition hitting me full in the face. The 18th is the full moon. "That's a shame."

"It is," he says, finally looking up at me. "Because I was going to ask you if you wanted to go with me."

This makes my cheeks burn red hot and I blink my eyes very fast.

"Oh," I say, still flustered by his comment. "I would've loved to have gone with you Remus." .

"Really?" he asks, the happy glint in his eye returning.

"Yeah…" I say. "It would've been nice, wouldn't it?"

"I would have tried to make it the best evening of your life," he says, gazing at me with those amber eyes.

I am too giddy to speak, so I just turn my attention back to the flyer. All of a sudden, Sirius marches over to stand right in between us, breaking the moment.

"So, ya gonna take Tonksie, Moony?" he asks nonchalantly.

"No," Remus says, blushing again.

"Well why not?" Sirius asks.

"The 18th is the… yanno?" he repeats. "How many times am I gonna have to repeat this?"

"Ohhhhhhhh," Sirius says , a little obnoxiously. "The… the… yeah. I getcha."

"Yeah," Remus says, biting his lip. "I'm gonna go get some breakfast."

"You do that," Sirius says as Remus begins to walk away.

"And I'll have bloody good time doing it, too," Remus says as he exits through the portrait hole. I start to chuckle.

"He's a git," Sirius says as he turns back to me.

"No he's not," I say, starting to walk away. "He was trying to be funny."

"I was joking chickadee," he says as he follows me. "So would you have gone with him?"

"Probably," I say.

"You're joking right?" he says incredulously. I whip around to face him.

"No, I'm not, Black," I say murderously.

"Woah, calm down," he says, backing up a few steps. "I was just kidding."

"No you weren't," I say, crossing my arms.

"Common Tonks," he says, stepping back closer to me. "You know Remus is like my brother."

"I hope so," I say sassily.

"Well, he is," he says, turning around to shoulder his bag. "I didn't mean what I said, okay?"

"Alright," I say, grudgingly letting it go.

"Walk with me to breakfast, okay?" he says, turning back to me. "The git named James left me. He's probably chasing Evans down."

"Are you talking about Lily?" I ask, confused.

"Yeah," Sirius says as we exit the common room. "He's got a crush on her, you know."

"I thought he did," I say, considering this for a moment. "She doesn't like him."

"He knows that," Sirius says. "He says he'll get her one day. I tell him to let it go."

"I don't think she's gonna give in anytime soon," I say. "Not with what he does to Severus."

"But Snivellus is such a good target," Sirius argues.

"One: His name is Severus. Two: Maybe you can convince James to leave him alone, and maybe Lily will like him," I say as we pass the Charms classroom.

"Maybe," Sirius says, thinking. "But he's too much fun to mess with."

For the rest of the day, all anyone talks about is the dance. Who someone is going with, who is wearing what, what is gonna happen there. I think it's a bit insane, really, and I don't join in on most conversations.

A few days later, I'm in the common room late at night doing homework when the portrait hole swings open and Aaron walks in.

"Hey sis," he says as he walks over to me.

"Hey," I say, crossing off something on my essay.

"Whatcha doin'?" he asks, sitting on the edge of my couch.

"Homework," I say. "What else?"

"I see," he says, leaning back.

"Mhm," I say, not really wanting to talk to him.

"So sis," he says. "Got a date for the dance yet?"

"No," I say, writing one final sentence to complete my essay.

"You aren't going with Remus?" he asks, confused.

"No," I say. "He's not going."

"Why?" Aaron asks. I have to think hard for a minute to get a good answer.

"He doesn't want to," I say. "He's not really one for dances."

"Oh," he says. "I'm sorry sis."

"It's fine," I say, rereading the paragraph for errors.

"No one else asked you?" he asks casually.

"Nope," I say, finally deciding that the essay is as good as it's gonna get.

"Sorry sis," he says.

"Aaron," I say, looking up at him. "Don't worry I'm fine."

"Just looking out for you," he says, stretching.

"You got a date?" I ask, curious.

"Yeah," he says. "Her name is Elaina."

"That's nice," I say. "I hope you two have fun."

"I'm sure we will," he says. We sit in silence for a few minutes. "Well, I'm off to bed. Night sissy."

"Night Aaron," I say, kiss him on the cheek and he's off. I sit there in silence packing up my stuff for a while until the portrait hole opens again. It's Sirius this time.

"Hey Tonksie," he says.

"What are you doing up and about?" I ask, shoving another book in my bag.

"I had some… thinking to do," he answers, sitting down on my couch.

"What were you thinking about?" I ask, strapping my bag closed.

"Stuff," he says. "How to solve world hunger. I think I have the answer."

"Shut up, Sirius," I say chuckling. "What were you really thinking about?"

"Well, I was considering my dates for the dance," he says.

"Did you decide?" I ask.

"Yep," he says, running his hand through his hair.

"And?" I ask, extremely curious now.

"Would you like to go to the dance with me?" he asks casually.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Oooh cliff hanger! (:

Have a LOVELY Easter everyone! Thanks so much for all of my fans! Happy Easter from me to you! (:

PLEASE REVIEW!

xoxo


	37. Chapter 36

_When I look into your eyes, it's like falling in love all over again. - Amanda Arco_

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Sirius's POV*_

"Would you like to go to the dance with me?" I ask casually, hoping more than anything that she will say yes. Her face falls as she registers what just happened.

"Are you for real?" she asks, sounding angry, which I don't understand.

"What?" I ask, baffled by her reaction.

"I would _never_ do that to Remus!" she says, her voice rising. "How could _you_ ever do that to Remus?"

"Woah, woah," I say. "Calm yourself down."

"I don't understand you Sirius," she says, standing up in exasperation. "Just a few days ago you said he was like your brother and-"

"Tonks, I asked for his permission!" I cut her off, shouting a little to shut her up.

"You what?" she asks, turning back to face me. She's the one who's confused now.

"I asked him if he would be okay with me taking you to the dance," I say, glad she finally calmed down.

"Really?" she asks, sitting back down. "What did he say?"

I decide to tell her the full story.

_Just this morning, I had been planning on asking Remus if it would be okay if I took Tonks to the dance. __I was actually quite nervous because he could possibly get angry with me for trying to steal his girl. So, I figured lunch would be a good time to ask him. Tonks had just gotten up to use the restroom when he turned to me and said: _

"_So, are you going to ask her or what?" _

"_What are you talking 'bout, Moony?" I say jokingly, hoping that he wouldn't notice how uncomfortable I was. _

"_Tonks," he says, taking a sip of lemonade. "You're going to ask her, are you not?" _

"_Well…" I say, setting down my utensils. "I was thinking about it. But, I thought you might get angry or something because she's kind of 'your girl,' is she not?" _

"_Well, I guess she is," he says, still totally calm. "But, if I can't go with her, why shouldn't you be allowed?" _

"_I dunno…" I say. "I was going to ask you if it would be okay anyways." _

"_That was nice of you, you git," he says, smiling. "I'm glad you were going to ask."_

"_Your welcome," I say, gaining confidence. "So, I'm allowed to ask her?"_

"_Sure, why not?" he asks, buttering a roll. "Just two requests." _

"_Of course," I say. _

"_One : no funny business, Black. Get it?" he says, looking me directly in the eye, deadly serious. "I don't want any of your antics around her. I know you like her." _

"_I won't," I say, making a solemn promise in my heart to uphold this. "And?" _

"_I want you to make it the best night of her life," he says. "Don't let me down, okay?" _

"_Of course not," I say, overcome with happiness. _

"_Thanks," he says as she returns to the table. _

I finish telling my story and she just sits there, thinking for a minute.

"Did he really say that?" she asks, curious.

"Yeah," I say. "You can ask James, or even Peter if you need proof."

"No," she says, shaking her head. "I don't need that. I believe you."

"Good," I say, sighing in relief. "So, what do you say?"

She considers me for a moment, the gears in her head turning quite fast.

"Sure," she says, finally giving me an answer. I want to stand up and jump around, cheering and shouting with joy.

"Oh," I say, blushing. "Good, good!"

"But!" she says, stopping my internal celebration. "We'll just go as friends, okay? To uphold the promise you made to Remus."

"Of course," I say. But inside, my heat sinks. "Yeah that's… um... fine."

"Good," she says, standing up and shouldering her bag. "G'night Sirius."

"Night chickadee," I say as she retreats to her dorm. As soon as I hear the door close, I let out a huge sigh of relief again and kick my legs up on the coffee table. Score 1 for Sirius Black.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Tonks's POV*_

A few weeks go by, and it's finally time for our trip into Hogsmede for dress shopping. Now, I guess you could say I wasn't really one for dress shopping, or anything frilly and girly for that matter, but I was oddly excited about this. It was the first real dance I was going to, how could I not be excited?

So, Lily, Lydia, and I go into town on a bright June morning not knowing exactly what we are looking for. We know there's a boutique on the end of the main street that carries gowns, so we head there first. When we enter the shop, it is beyond crowded. It seems like every girl from Hogwarts has swarmed to that boutique. There's no room to move, let alone breathe, in that shop, so we leave.

Lydia tells us of another small shop a few streets down that's not as well known as the boutique. She's never been there before, but her mother once bought a gown from there. She said it was quite lovely, so we decided to give it a try. The shop definitely wasn't as crowded as the boutique on Main Street, but still had a pretty good selection. Yes, it smelled like sour milk and had an old hag for an owner, but it carried lovely dresses.

So, with our first round of dresses in hand, we retreat to the dressing rooms. Lydia has a blue chiffon dress that flows to the floor with sparkles on top. It's quite princess-y to be honest. Lily has an emerald gown that is made out of gorgeous silk. It flows to the floor and the straps wrap around her neck. There is little diamonds all around the low neckline and around the torso. She really looks beautiful in this dress because it compliments her hair color and skin tone perfectly. I don a hazel colored silk dress that has no straps and flows to the floor. Quite honestly, I don't like it very much. Lydia decides she doesn't like hers either and we go back to try on more gowns.

Lydia tries on three more dresses and is finally satisfied with a purple chiffon gown that sweeps the floor and has no straps. It compliments her better than the orange one for sure. But, unfortunately, I have no luck. I guess you could say _13__th__ times the charm._ Yes, I've rejected 12 dresses. Finally, I decide on the 13th one.

It is a light grey color, tightly fitted to the knee. The whole thing is ruched and shiny and has tiny little crystals all over it. The top is simply a halter top with beads all over the thick straps that wrap around my neck. For the first time in my life, I feel… beautiful. I have always looked to Lily as the face of beauty, but in this dress, I feel beautiful. It's a new and wonderful feeling.

So, we next go and pick out some shoes. Lydia and Lily both choose shiny silver heels, but I chose black heels. I don't exactly know why, but they go better with my dress. As we wait in line to pay for our dress, shoes, and a few pieces of jewelry, Lily and Lydia discuss their dates for the ball.

James didn't get to Lily in time, obviously. She told she wouldn't have gone with him anyways. She is going with a 4th year named Michael, who is very smart, nice, and attractive, from what I can gather about him. I'm happy for her because she seems to really like him. Lydia is going with a boy from our year named Bennett. I think they're perfect for each other. Bennett is very shy and quiet, much like Lydia. I hope they get along nicely.

Once we are finished checking out, we make our way back up to the castle for dinner. The dance is only one week away and counting. This means that we only have a week left of school, too. Time flies when you're having fun.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_*One week later* _

Finally, the school year is done! And that means, it's time for the ball! The whole atmosphere in the castle lifts as people start chattering about the dance and summer break. Even the teachers are celebrating the end of another year!

Students are going crazy by the time Saturday rolls around! Breakfast was packed, but lunch was deserted. Everyone was up in their dorms getting ready for the dance. But, me and boys would never pass up a meal for preparation time. We chow down in the Great Hall before going up to get ready. When we enter the common room, I immediately notice Remus sacked out on the couch. I walk over to him and lay a hand on his shoulder. His skin is as white as paper and cold as ice.

"Poor Remus," I mutter, stroking his hair. For a moment, I momentarily forget that I need to be getting ready for the dance.

"Hey chickadee," Sirius says, plopping down a couch next to Remus. "Don't you need to be upstairs?"

"Upstairs?" I ask, confused. Then it hits me. "Oh, upstairs getting ready! I getcha."

So, I jog up the stairs and into _Third Year Girls._

The whole dorm is a flurry of activity. Dresses laid out on beds, curling irons, make up, shoes, etc etc. It's a madhouse. Lily was one of the people who had skipped lunch to get ready and she had curlers in her hair. She was frantically trying to apply eyeliner to Lydia, but Scarlet and May kept throwing cotton balls at her from across the room.

"Would you two _stop it_?" she exclaims, whipping around to face their snickering faces.

"We aren't five," I mutter as I walk over to the vanity Lily and Lydia are using. The two idiots stop their nonsense and continue on getting ready. "Wow Lydia, you look beautiful."

I look down into the face of the shy, quiet girl I had met almost four years ago. But she doesn't look the same. The make up Lily had decorated her in made her look like a goddess.

"Your dad would be proud of you," I say, smiling down at her. Tears well up in her eyes as she remembers her father. They had found his body along with dozens of others a few months ago.

"I know he would," she says, grabbing a tissue and dabbing at her eyes.

"Hey…" I say, kneeling down next to her. "Don't cry, don't cry."

"I'm sorry," she says, dabbing some more, choking on her tears.

"Calm down, Lyddie," Lily croons, helping her fix herself up. A few minutes later, she's composed herself enough to go get dressed and Lily offers to do my make up. I tell her to make it a surprise, so she turns me around and dabs a little bit of this on, a little of that on. About 30 minutes later, she tells me I'm done.

I turn to look in the mirror and I can barely recognize myself. My whole face is flawless. But, somehow, I don't look fake. I look like Nymphadora Tonks who put make up on. I would probably have hated it if I looked fake or not like myself. But, I looked like me. I looked like a more beautiful version of myself.

"Lily…" I say, examining myself more closely. "You did a… fantastic job."

"Thanks," she says, beaming down at me. "You look gorgeous, by the way."

"Thanks so much," I say. We then discuss what my hair should look like. I don't need a flat iron, or curlers, or hair dye or anything really. I go and put on my dress and we decide which hairstyle matches it the best. We choose blonde, curly hair that falls to my mid-back. It shines and flows beautifully with my make up and dress. I can't get over this transformation. This fantastic transformation that helped me realize I can look beautiful, too.

All I have to do now is strap on my heels and I'm ready to go. As I'm doing that, Lily and Lydia put on their finishing touches and are ready to go.

"You coming, Tonks?" Lily asks, with one hand on the door handle. She looks flawless as well with her ginger hair and emerald dress.

"Umm..." I say, thinking about the poor, lethargic boy on the couch downstairs. "I'll meet you down there, okay?"

"Sure," Lily says, and they leave. I go and check myself a few more times before venturing down into the common room. When I step onto the landing separating the dorms, I look down and see three boys in tuxes, and one boy in sweatpants. I sigh and continue my journey down the stairs.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

What do you think? I know there was some controversy about Sirius asking her, but I think I solved pretty well! What do you think?

I hope everyone had a nice Easter! (:

PLEASE REVIEW!

xoxo


	38. Chapter 37

_Within you, I lose myself. Without you,I find myself wanting to be lost again. - unknown_

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Remus's POV*_

Sitting. Laying. Groaning. Watching. Wincing. Fidgeting. Sleeping. Eating.

That's all I get to do on the couch in the Gryffindor common room the night of the dance. Alternating between sitting up and laying down because I'm too uncomfortable in either position for too long. Groaning because sometimes, I can't keep it in. I'm too uncomfortable. I feel sore all over and my head pounds and my eye lids feel like heavy weights. Watching all the dressed up students make their way down to the Great Hall, wondering when I'm going to see her. Fidgeting because I have nothing else better to do in anticipation. Sleeping when I can't hold my eyes open any longer. Sleep is something that takes me away from my pain. It's like alcohol or drugs to me. Eating because James and Sirius think it will "make me feel better." Like food is going to calm me down. I just want to see her.

I'm laying spread eagled on one of the couches facing James, Sirius, and Peter in their tuxes. Peter didn't get a date, unfortunately. But James, after being rejected by Lily, found another date. Another girl in our year named Marlene McKinnon, who's in Ravenclaw. I guess you could say she is pretty. She has blonde hair and blue eyes, with a bright smile and a nice figure. Sirius is obviously going with Tonks.

Although I did think Marlene was pretty, she was nothing compared to Tonks. Even on a regular basis, I think she's the most beautiful girl in the world. I don't know what it is about her that makes me so attracted to her. Oliver had asked me this very question last week and I couldn't answer the question then either. And now, all dressed up, I swear she is a goddess.

She comes slowly down the spiral stairs and into the common room. She looks left and right nervously being padding over to our usual spot, eyes dancing with happiness and excitement. She wears a tightly fitted silver dress and black heels. The material of both is metallic-y and shiny. It does amazing things to her figure, something I had just recently started to notice. It really isn't a priority to me, what she looks like, but she's got a good figure. She also has mid-length, blonde curly hair what bounces and shines right along with her big brown eyes I love so much. She doesn't need make up to look pretty, but she adorns a good amount of it tonight. Not too much, not too little. It still looks like the girl I'd fallen head over heels for. And now I'm literally head over heels.

When she started walking towards us, I was just overcome with her beauty. I had to be the first one to greet her. I had to have a moment with her before sending her off with my best mate. I stand up with much difficulty and limp over to her. About halfway across the common room, she notices me hobbling towards her on sore legs. She says something, but I cant hear it because I fall with a loud thud on the ground as my legs give way. Why the _hell_ did I have to be a bloody werewolf?

"Remus!" James shouts, running over to me laying helplessly on the ground. My limbs wont support me so I just lay pathetically at Tonka's feet, trying to get up and flailing like a fish out of water.

"Remus," she breaths into my ear as two pairs of hands grab me under my shoulders and heave me back onto the couch.

"What the hell happened?" Sirius asks, brushing himself off.

"I just… fell," I say, not able to lift my head.

"Why were you up in the first place?" James asks.

"To… to see Tonks," I say, blushing.

"I was coming to see you, yanno?" she says, deadly close to me. I turn my head a fraction of a millimeter and see her seated next to me, looking worried.

"I'm fine," I say, trying to lift an arm to place on her shoulder, but when I get it in the air, it falls pathetically back to my side.

"No, you're obviously not," she says, placing her hand over mine.

"Tonks," I say, making a huge effort to turn my head and look into her eyes. "Don't worry about me."

"Okay," she says, sighing and turning to the other boys. "We're going to be late."

"Yeah, it's almost 5:00," James says, checking his watch. "Marlene is probably waiting for me."

"Time to go then," Sirius says, standing up. James and Peter did the same. But Tonks didn't move. She sat still next to me, her hand placed over mine, concern in her eyes.

"Go have fun," I say. I wanted more than anything to hug her, kiss her, do anything. But my body wouldn't let me. She solemnly nods at me before quickly squeezing my hand and standing up.

"Ready chickadee?" Sirius asks, offering his arm. She links hers through it and the group moves on toward the portrait hole. Right before they climb through though, she turns back to me and we lock eyes one more time.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Tonks's POV*_

Dinner. Dinner was an eventful affair. It turns out that Marlene has been head over heels for James since he had said "hello" to her in the corridor once. When he had said he was going to try out for Quidditch, she practically started stalking him. When he decided not to try out, she stopped that foolishness. But after he had asked her out, she was back to old James-fanatic self.

First off, she was very annoying. She ignored everyone else at the table and just paid attention to James, laughing stupidly and twirling her hair. Second off, she didn't seem to like me. Every time I spoke, she shot me a dirty look. At first, I couldn't quite put my finger on it, but about halfway through dinner, I suddenly figured it out. She was friends with Scarlet and May.

"So then, I grabbed my underwear from her head and screamed 'Scarlet! Get May and explain yourselves!'" she says, only to James, laughing like a hyena. I turn warily to Sirius who seems to be having the same thoughts as I am.

Soon, dessert is served and the dance floor opens to everyone. I am more than grateful, because that means an escape from Marlene.

"First dance, my lady?" Sirius asks, offering his hand. I take it and he sweeps me dramatically onto the impromptu dance floor in the middle of the Great Hall. The Great Hall had definitely had some TLC. The stone walls now shine with up lighting that goes in a 'red, yellow, blue, green' pattern all along the walls to represent the four houses. The five long tables have been removed and have been replaced with dozens and dozens of circular tables large enough to seat six people. The dance floor is right smack in the middle of the hall, already overflowing with students. The tiles that make up the dance floor are silver and shiny. A few lights and a disco ball hang over the dance floor, but none of them are on.

The first song is a normal waltz. At first, I have no idea where the music is coming from. Then, I realize that the music is actually coming from the walls and floor of the Great Hall. I assume it is an enchantment of some sort, because it really sounds amazing; like a whole band is there playing for us.

"God, why does the first song have to be this one?" Sirius complains under his breath.

"It is a ball after all," I say. He then puts a hand on my waist, and I put a hand on his shoulder. We grab hands and off we go.

Waltzing around with Sirius is much more fun than it actually sounds. He swung me around that dance floor pretty good, taking out a few people in the process. He twirled me and lifted me and spun me round and round until I couldn't take it any more. My face was beet red with laughter and exhaustion. I was having a fantastic time with my dance partner. Just me and him having an excellent time on the dance floor, not interrupted by Marlene or even James. I don't ever remember having this much fun before.

By the time the first few songs are over, darkness is falling quickly. I had been having so much fun with Sirius, that when we finally took a break during a slow dance, I remembered Remus. How could I have forgotten? While Sirius was away getting drinks, I sat at our table, thinking about him. How was he? Did he transform yet? I couldn't answer any of those questions.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Remus's POV*_

When the time finally arrived for me to go down to the Hospital Wing, my limbs had decided that they were done. They didn't want to have to work anymore. So, as I had to on rare occasions like this, I sent an express owl to Madam Pomfrey to come and get me. I hated having to do that, but there was no other way. In about five minutes time, she was there in the doorway of the portrait hole.

"Remus," she said, walking briskly over to me. "Are you okay?"

"No I'm not, Madam," I said truthfully.

"Oh dear…" she said, examining me before whipping out her wand. "Hard month, huh?"

"That doesn't even explain it," I said, wincing as she performed a spell that practically made me float upright. I felt no pain while in the air, but when she first performed it, the initial jolt hurt like a little shite. So, wand in hand, she suspended me down from Gryffindor Tower and through the school, out the front door, and across the lawn.

"I'll see you tomorrow morning" she said, ruffling my hair affectionately when we reached the Whomping Willow. She lowered me slowly into the tunnel before letting the spell die and I stood on my own two feet, but barely.

"G'night," I said weakly before turning and crawling down the tunnel. I heard the tree start to swing wildly again as I pushed myself to get to my room in enough time. I didn't think I would be able to do it. My limbs wouldn't take it any longer.

So, I collapsed right in the middle of the tunnel. I had no idea when the full moon would rise, but I knew I didn't have much time. Reluctantly, I tried to push myself back up again and failed. I tried again. There was no hope in this. Suddenly, I felt the full moon rise. Don't ask me how I felt it, I have just been able to ever since I had gotten bitten. I knew I was in trouble now.

My whole body started shaking uncontrollably and my eyes rolled back into my head. Pain shot up my legs, then my back, then my head. I felt like my spine was breaking as it elongated and tore my clothes. My feet and hands grew to be an enormous size and soon, I could barely fit in the tunnel.

My inner animal instinct me to GTFO out of this small tunnel. So, not knowing which way I was going, I frantically ran one way along the tunnel. Before I knew it, I felt cool, refreshing summer air hit my face as thin hair started to grow in all over my body. I laid down in a crumbled heap to finish the transformation. I was in so much pain, more than usual. More than I had ever experienced.

I felt my nose elongate into a snout and grow long, sharp fangs loaded with poison to bite whoever got in my way. You see, it wasn't me anymore. It was the wolf.

I stood up shakily and turned my head this way and that; I had just picked up a delightful scent. It smelled like meat and girl's perfume. It was coming from a large room full of food and dancing students. My Nymphadora was in there, but did I know that as a wolf?

Yes I most certainly did.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXx

_*Tonks's POV*_

After being refreshed, Sirius and I decide to go back out onto the dance floor. I hadn't voiced my concern for Remus to him, but as soon as the next song started, I forgot all about it again.

The song that now played is a popular one among us students. The adults don't seem to like it very much, but us kids jump around and wave our hands in the air, screaming with excitement. There were several songs like this and one other waltz. Finally, the DJ came over the PA system.

"I would to thank all of you for coming down her tonight!" he said. I looked around frantically to see where the voice was coming from and saw that the DJ wasn't in the room. This made me curious. "Now, we will have the last song of the night! Now, don't get too disappointed! We'll be back next year! Goodbye 7th years! We'll miss you! Enjoy this last dance!" All of a sudden, a slow and romantic song comes on. The lights dim and couples move to get to each other in the semi-darkness.

"Dance with me," Sirius says, holding out a hand. I consider it for a moment.

"But what will Remus-"

"We're just dancing, Tonks. It's not like we're having sex," Sirius says, smiling. "Common."

"Okay," I finally say, and grab his hand.

He pulls me close to him and lays his hands on my waist. I wrap my arms around his neck, my head laying on his chest. We sway slowly with the music, the only other sounds we can hear are the whisperings from the other couples out on the dance floor with us. It's a really good feeling, being this close to Sirius. He's my best friend, but he'd just given me the best night of my life, hadn't he?

I lift my head to look into his face. I just now notice how much of an effort he had made to make himself look presentable. He had done a fabulous job with it too. He definitely is a handsome boy, tall and muscular with dark hair and eyes. His hair is a little askew from all the dancing we did, but other than that, he looked great. I even like the little messy bit of hair. He's smiling down at me, his eyes full of a bright happiness I had never seen before.

Suddenly, before I can register anything, he starts leaning forward. I know what he wants. And, without good judgment, decide to give it to him. He seems to be leaning forward to meet my lips so slowly. Maybe he wants to draw it out. His lips are centimeters away from mine when suddenly we hear-

"AWOOOOOOOOOO!"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Thanks for reviewing everyone! I love you all so much! Sorry this is late, I'm in ANOTHER show, so life is extremely crazy. Thanks for standing by me while I'm being late! (:

I believe I like this one! Tell me what you think? Cliffhanger huh? (;

PLEASE REVIEW!

xoxo


	39. Chapter 38

_We were given: Two hands to hold. Two legs to walk. Two eyes to see. Two ears to listen. But why only one heart? Because the other was given to someone else. For us to find. _

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Tonks's POV* _

"AWOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

The terrible, heart wrenching noise fills the air again. Everything stops. Everything. The dancing, the music, the kiss. Everything comes to a screeching halt as everyone looks around frantically to see where the noise is coming from. The scary part is that the sound is so close it could be coming from right outside one of the windows. Couples break apart and start hurrying around in the semi-darkness. All hell breaks loose as the sound of the wounded animal fills the air once again.

"AWOOOOOO!"

It's not just a wounded animal. It's an animal that's in the most pain it's ever been it's entire life.

Sirius and I break apart and get jolted around by the crowd. We never finish our kiss. But that's not even a thought at the moment. As soon as I had heard the first howl, I knew. I knew it was Remus.

"Sirius!" I yell out in the chaos. "Sirius where are you?"

The lights suddenly turn all the way on and I can see the madness occurring. People running out the hall, getting away from the windows, yelling for friends and partners. Some people even stand on chairs and tables. There's an uncountable amount of high heels left abandoned on the floor.

"Tonks!" I hear Sirius yell to my right. "Over here!"

I look over and see his curly head bobbing through the crowd. I see him stick his hand through a group of people for me to take. I grab it and he pulls me right through two girls to his side.

"We need to find James and Peter!" he yells over the chaos.

"Sirius!" I say, grabbing his tuxedo jacket. "Sirius it was… it was Remus!"

"I… know," he says, looking distraught. "That's why we need to find the guys!"

I feel tears well up in my eyes. Remus is obviously in pain. He wouldn't have made that noise otherwise. But why did he sound so close? Sirius grabs my hand once again and pulls me along through the crowd. I'm worthless; I can barely keep myself together as sobs wrack my body. I literally start bawling.

"James! Peter!" Sirius yells. "Jaaaaames!"

"Over here!" I hear James yell from the middle of the dance floor. Sirius pulls me in that direction.

"Found you!" Sirius says, pushing past a group of wide-eyed 5th years. We see James and Peter standing there with the same expression as Sirius.

"Sirius," James says, coming close to mine and Sirius's ears. "That had to be Remus."

"We know," Sirius answers, looking sideways at me. "That's why she's like… this."

"I'm sorry," I say, through another round of sobs. Hearing James confirm my worst nightmare brought them on. "He's… he's…" I cant finish my sentence.

"EVERYONE STOP!" we suddenly hear Dumbledore's voice magically amplified. "STOP AT ONCE!"

As soon as everyone hears Dumbledore, the whole crowd stops short. No more screams or running around like crazy people. Just a few sniffles from crying girls, like me.

"Everyone please calm down!" Dumbledore continues. "Prefects, please gather your houses and take them to your common room. Please don't fear. You have nothing to worry about!"

Prefects and Head Boys and Girls start yelling things like: "Gryffindors over here!" and "Ravenclaws, follow me!" All of a sudden, we hear Dumbledore again.

"I need to see James Potter, Sirius Black, Peter Pettigrew, and Nymphadora Tonks at the front of the hall immediately."

We all freeze, staring at each other. The other houses are slowly vacating the hall, following the prefects.

"Well, common," James says, grabbing my hand and taking over the job of hauling me along through the crowd in the opposite direction. We push through many people on our journey up to the front of the hall. But, finally, we make it.

"Professor Dumbledore," James says respectfully as we approach the headmaster and Professor McGonagall.

"Ah yes, I would like to see the four of you in my office," Dumbledore says, following the final round of students out of the hall.

"Well come on," McGonagall says, ushering us to follow him. So, we do.

We follow him out of the hall and up the marble staircase. On the way out, I kick off my heels into a massive pile of them near the door. Barefoot, I continue to follow the others through the castle and right up to the door of Dumbledore's office.

"Pumpkin Pasty," Dumbledore says calmly to the large stone gargoyle guarding a hole in the wall. It springs to life and jumps aside for us. We follow Dumbledore up spiral steps and into his office, McGonagall in the rear. Dumbledore walks calmly up to his desk and takes a seat. He flicks his wand and four chairs appear.

"Sit," he instructs, so we do. I won't let go of James's hand though; it's my only link to reality. It means safety.

"Now, I would like to know how you four know of Mr. Lupin's lycanthropy," he says, placing the tips of his fingers together. I don't look up. I stare at my bare feet, hoping that the boys will do all the talking. James strokes my had with his thumb comfortingly. A minute of silence goes by. Suddenly Sirius speaks up.

"We figured it out for ourselves, sir," he says.

"I can only tell because you four panicked in a different way than the other students," Dumbledore continues. "The others were scared for their lives while you four were scared for another life."

"Sir, we're extremely worried about him," James says.

"We can't do anything about it tonight," Dumbledore says. "It's too dangerous."

"But sir-"

"No, Mr. Potter," Dumbledore says. "We will send Madam Pomfrey and Hagrid out as soon as the sun rises. I promise."

"He could be dying, sir," James argues.

"It's too big of a risk," Dumbledore says. James doesn't argue this time. "Now, is Mr. Lupin okay with the four of you knowing?"

"I know he is," Sirius says. "We're his best friends."

"And you're the only ones that know about it?" Dumbledore asks.

"Of course," Sirius answers.

"Very well then," Dumbledore says. "We will be sure to alert you as soon as we find him."

"Thank you, sir," James says.

"You may leave," Dumbledore says. "Minerva, will you please escort them back to Gryffindor Tower?"

"Yes, Albus," McGonagall says, a note of sadness in her voice. We stand up and start to follow her out of the office. I hadn't looked at Dumbledore once.

"Miss Tonks?" he calls. I lift my head and turn to meet his eyes, releasing James's hand. "Chin up, darling. Everything will be okay."

New tears well up in my eyes. I nod my head, unable to speak. He smiles warmly at me before I turn back around and grab James's hand, wrapping my arm around his.

We follow McGonagall out of the office and back through the castle to Gryffindor Tower. We meet no one. We hear no one. It's as if the castle has been put on mute.

"Here we are," McGonagall says as we approach the Fat Lady. "Now, I warn you not to go looking for Remus tonight. It will only hurt you as well as him. Please don't do anything stupid."

"We won't Professor," Sirius says.

"Very well," she says. "Dittany."

The portrait hole opens and he clamber through it and into the empty common room. We pass the fireplace silently and go straight towards the staircase leading to the dorms. We climb quickly and veer off to the right to the boy's dormitories. No one says a thing as I follow the three boys, still clinging to James's hand. We pad slowly down the hall to Third Year Boys and slip inside. Sirius lights the room by turning on a gas lamp.

It looks exactly as I remember it from earlier this year when I had passed out after hearing that Remus was a werewolf. A disaster zone. Clothes and trash everywhere, trunks and drawers open. Remus's bed was the only clean spot in the room. I stand in the doorway, unsure of what to do.

"Sleeping here Tonksie?" Sirius asks, crossing to his bed. Peter does the same.

"I…" I say, finally managing to speak. "I don't think I could take a night in my dorm."

"It's fine," James says, still holding my hand. "You can crash in Remus's bed. He's obviously not going to be here."

"Are… you sure?" I ask.

"It's fine," James says. "We understand you're upset."

"Upset doesn't cover it," I say, finally letting go of his hand and crossing to Remus's clean bed. I'm overly grateful that he keeps it in this condition.

"Tonks, it's going to be fine," Sirius says warmly from his bed. "Please calm down, darling."

"I…. cant," I say, new tears leaking down my cheeks. James walks over and hugs me tightly while I cry, trying to calm me down.

"Shhhh…" he croons. My heart expands with complete and total gratitude for James at the moment. Without him, I wouldn't have made it this far.

"I just cant take the thought that he's probably dying out there right now," I sob. "We just don't know anything."

"We will tomorrow," James says, releasing me. "Now, try to get some sleep."

"Thanks, four-eyes," I say as he walks back over to his bed. I have to turn to face the wall while they change into pajamas, but I don't have any so I dig through Remus's drawer to find something to wear. I come up with sweatpants that are far too big for me and a t-shirt. I slip this on crouching uncomfortably on the bed with the curtains drawn. When I'm done changing, I pull back the curtains and see the three boys sitting on their own beds.

"I suppose it's time to go to bed now, isn't it?" James says.

"Sure," Sirius says. "Although I don't know if I'll be able to sleep."

"Me either," I say, sliding down to a sitting position, pulling my knees to my face.

"Well, we have to try," James says, walking over to turn off the gas lamp. "G'night everyone."

"'Night," I murmur as I pull back the blankets on Remus's bed and curl up under them. Being in his clothes comforts me immensely. I can smell his scent on the clothes and from the pillow. I decide that I'm more comfortable here than in my own bed. Being here is just so comfortable and safe.

Although I feel warm and safe, I cant sleep. I knew it was going to be impossible. Every time I would drift off, Remus's heart wrenching howl would come back to me so vividly that it made me bawl again. And on top of that, I remembered what I had been doing before the first howl. How could I have been so unfaithful? This brings on another, more violent round of sobs. Remus's pillow is soaked in tears before midnight.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Hellooo!

First off, I hope you all recognize this as her dream from 2nd year! Ooh, mysterious stuff!

So, I know many of you thought Tonks was OOC last chapter! I can assure you, that I believe this decision was a good one. Maybe she was OOC, but she's also 13! I know I made mistakes when I was 13! So did Sirius! Please don't be angry with last chapter! It had to happen so the story could go on! I hope this made up for it (; I admit, Sirius is being a bit of a git and Tonks is being unfaithful, but it's all a part of growing up!

Anyways, I hope you liked this one! I know I did!

Thanks for reviewing and favoriting and such! (; I love you all so much! You make my dream a reality! (:

PLEASE REVIEW!

xoxo


	40. Chapter 39

_We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love. - Dr. Seuss_

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Tonks's POV*_

When I finally manage to go to sleep, my dreams are plagued with dying werewolves and heart wrenching howls. But, my torture doesn't last long. At 5:30, I decide it's useless to try to sleep anymore. I get up and pad silently over to the window.

The grounds are misty and still. There's still the dark blue sky of right before dawn to the west, but to the east, the sky is splattered with pinks and oranges, a beautiful sunrise. The trees of the Forbidden Forest sway softly and the Black Lake is as still as glass. Fog covers the ground in swirling, snakelike tendrils.

I crane my neck this way and that to try to get a better view of the grounds. I'm looking for a small, crumbled up heap somewhere out there. Perhaps surrounded by a pool of blood, maybe even a few of its limbs. If Remus is dead, I'm blaming Professor Dumbledore. I understand the risks of sending someone out there to try to rescue him, but he's a student nonetheless. He's my best friend nonetheless. He's my love nonetheless.

I collapse in a heap on the floor, silently bawling. How could I have been so unfaithful? How? Was I really this weak? To be able to give in to someone that easily…

Sirius isn't even a thought. I don't care if his feelings are hurt. I can never have that kind of interaction with him again. Sirius is my best friend, my brother. I don't love him like I do Remus.

"Tonks?" I hear a soft voice whisper through the dormitory. I glance up through red, puffy eyes and see Peter peeking from behind the curtains on his bed.

"Peter…" I say, trying to sit in a more respectful position.

"What's wrong?" he asks, still not moving.

"I'm…. this whole thing… it's just a mess," I say, wiping away a tear.

"Tonks," he says, sliding out of bed and coming to sit by me on the floor. "It's gonna be okay."

"Thanks Peter," I say. He awkwardly places a hand on my shoulder to try to console me.

"No problem. Now," he says, standing up. "I'm going back to bed."

"Have fun," I mutter, suppressing a smile.

"Of course I will," he says, turning around to smile widely at me. "Cheer up."

"I'll try," I say before he climbs back into bed. I wipe my eyes and glance at them. There's the black smudges of my mascara and eye liner on my hand. I rub it off on the carpet.

Where was he?

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Remus's POV*_

This is bad.

I know it before I even open my eyes. Instead of the cold, hard wooden floor of the Shrieking Shack, I feel soft, damp grass. Why aren't I in the Shrieking Shack? As soon as this thought occurs, my heart drops into my stomach; my breathing speeds up.

I'm right. This is bad.

All I can feel is my head pounding, my limbs spread out at odd angles, and pain everywhere. Just everywhere. I would put my money on this being the worst full moon of my existence. I take a deep breath (which hurts like hell) and inhale the scent of blood. Is it my own? I am suddenly conscious of something warm and sticky covering my entire face.

Yes. Yes it _is _myblood.

Now, all I can do is lay here, pathetically wondering why there was blood covering my face. Wondering why I was injured this badly.

Then, it comes to me. An image pops into my head. Of her. And him. Rage boils up inside me like it never has before. I have my answer.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Tonks's POV*_

Before I could do anything else, James stirs.

"Wha's goin' on?" he asks groggily.

"I can't sleep any longer," I explain, running a hand through my hair and catching a few bobby-pins.

"I just heard Pete…." he says trailing off.

"Yeah he came and asked me if I was okay," I say, rubbing more make up off my eyes.

"Are you?" he asks, sliding his feet off the bed.

"Not really," I say, truthfully. I pause. "He could be dead and we wouldn't know."

"You need to cheer up," he says, getting up and walking silently over to me.

"I can't James… I just can't," I say, another round of tears spilling over onto my cheeks. "I'm blaming Dumbledore if he's dead. I'm also blaming… myself."

"Don't…." he croons, opening his arms. I throw myself into them, bawling again. "Don't blame anyone… Dumbledore knew if he sent anyone out there to fetch him, there was a good chance of them getting hurt, or killed. Remus is dangerous when he's a wolf, and you can't deny it."

"I know…" I say, choking a little on my tears.

"Now, why do you blame yourself?" he asks, stroking my hair lightly. As I nuzzle my head into his chest, I think about it. I can trust James. Although he _is_ a trouble-maker, he's like my brother. I love and trust him more than the others, except Remus. So, I decide to tell him the story of me and Sirius. The _full_ story. When I've finished, he sits there silently for a moment.

"I didn't know you fancied Sirius," he says.

"I don't!" I say. "That's the thing! I have no feelings for him whatsoever!"

"Then why did you almost snog him?" he asks. I'm glad I can't see his face. I don't want to see the disappointment or grief in his eyes.

"That's what's been bothering me," I say. "How could I be _that _weak to give in _that _easily?"

"You're not weak," he says.

"You don't think so?" I ask, hope filling my heart.

"Sirius drew you in, and he shouldn't have," James explains. "Although maybe you should've thought it through before giving in."

"I know I should've. I should've done a lot of things."

"But, why are you blaming yourself?" he asks.

"Because somewhere deep in my heart, I know that Remus saw me and Sirius and that's exactly why he howled," I explain. To be honest, this thought had come to me late last night. I knew I was right. "That's why he's hurt."

"We don't even know if he's hurt," James says.

"I know he's hurt," I say. "That howl was one of pain, and suffering."

"Tonks, don't beat yourself up over this," James says, stroking my back. "Yes, you did something you shouldn't have. But you've got to move on. You've got to be able to deal with your mistakes and I know you can. I know you're strong enough to do that."

"I'll try, James," I say, pulling away out of his arms. He smiles down at me comfortingly. "Thank you so much."

"It's my pleasure. You're like my little sister. I've got to take care of you," he says.

"But I'm the same age as you!" I say, a smile playing on my lips.

"Yeah well… It was a comparison!" he says, chuckling. I slap him playfully on the arm.

"Shut up, Potter," I say.

"Never," he says, laughing.

At that precise moment, we hear a rapping on the window. I turn and see an owl there, hovering with a letter attached to its leg.

"It's probably from Dumbledore," James says, getting up and striding over to the window. He opens it and the owl flutters in, drops the letter, and swoops back out. James picks it up. "Yeah, it's from Dumbledore."

"What's it say?" I ask as he tears it open. He scans it hastily before answering.

"They found him. He's alive," he says. My heart swells and I want to get up and jump around with joy. He's not dead! "He's in the Hospital Wing being treated for some major injuries."

My joy falters a little at this. But still, he's alive. He's being taken care of. I stand up.

"We have to go see him," I say.

"Well, come on then!" he says. He runs over to Peter's bed and rips back the curtains. "PETER WAKE UP!"

"Wha-?" he exclaims, sitting bolt upright.

"Remus is in the Hospital Wing!" James says, walking over to Sirius's bed and ripping back the curtains as well. "COMMON WAKE UP YOU LAZY ARSE!"

"Ugh….. James….. Too early," Sirius moans, pulling the covers back over his eyes.

"No!" James says, pulling them back off his face. "We need to go see Moony!"

"James, it's too early…." Sirius moans, curling up into a ball. I chuckle.

"Get up, you fat ass!" James says, kicking him. Peter, finally able to get up himself, saunters over.

"Ugh…." Sirius says, sitting up and rubbing his eyes. "Wait what did you say?"

"I said they found Remus!" James repeats, grabbing one of Sirius's arms and pulling him out of bed and onto the floor. He scrambles up, suddenly wide awake.

"They found him?" he asks.

"Yes…." James validates, nodding his head. "Come on!"

"Fine!" Sirius says, and takes off running towards the door. James and Peter, slightly startled, follow. I take a glance in the mirror before continuing. My natural mousy brown has replaced my long, glossy blonde curls in my sleep and depression. My face is white and my eyes have dark shadows under them along with the smeared make up. Lily's masterpiece, completely ruined. There are still tear tracks in black down my cheeks. I look like a mess. Remus's t-shirt and sweatpants look too big on me, which doesn't help. I sigh and follow the boys.

It's too early for anyone to be up yet, so we bound through the Common Room and out the portrait hole without being noticed. I pass a huffing and puffing Peter and catch up with James and Sirius. I don't know why we're running. It seems impractical to me. But, in about 5 minutes time, we reach the Hospital Wing.

We come to a screeching halt, resulting in Peter falling right on his ass. This brings on a round of giggles before James knocks on the big, oak doors. Madam Pomfrey slowly opens the door the slightest bit.

"Professor Dumbledore notified you, I'm sure," she said, her head barely poking out the door.

"Yes," James says. "Can we see him?"

"I don't see why not…" she says hesitantly. "Although only for a little while. He needs his rest."

"Thank you ma'am," Sirius says, nodding his head.

"Your welcome, Mr. Black," she says, and opens the door wide enough for everyone to fit through. We enter the Wing and she leads us to a bed surrounded by green curtains. The whole room has a soft, golden glow of early morning. The sun peaks through one of the high windows.

"Here he is," she says, pulling back the curtain.

It's a sight I can never unsee.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Hey! Sorry about the delay! Life's been craaaazy! Hope you enjoyed it! :D

Please review!

xoxo


	41. Chapter 40

_You're not perfect, and I'll save you the suspense. I am not perfect either. but surely we're perfect for each other. - unknown_

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Tonks's POV*_

There he is. Remus John Lupin, the boy I love. Bedridden; Sick; Hurt.

And it's all my fault.

I stare at the mummy that is Remus. White gauze wraps around his bare chest, and extends down under the blankets. Both arms are heavily bandaged and one is suspended from the ceiling; the same for both legs. But the thing that gets me is his head. It is completely covered in white gauze except for four holes for his eyes, nose, and mouth. Why this is, I have no idea. There are an uncountable number of tubes coming from his arms, pumping fluids into him. Potions and pill bottles line his bedside table and the end of his bed. He doesn't move. He only suffers silently.

"You can go touch him," Madam Pomfrey says behind us. I suddenly notice that the four of us are standing gaping in the entrance to Remus's bed. Madam Pomfrey pushes past us and goes to his bedside, bending over him. I glance at James for comfort. He looks back at me and extends his hand. I grab it again, as a source of comfort. We slowly edge closer to Remus's bed. Was this what it was like when they came to visit me with my spattergroit?

I sit down on James's lap right next to his bed. I can only stare as horrible realization washes over me. I did this. I risk a glance over at Sirius and see his expression is one of guilt and shame, too. I hope I don't look like that.

"When will he wake up?" James asks softly.

"Should be any time now," Madam Pomfrey says, readjusting his left arm. "We stopped the drug that made him sleepy. Should be around soon enough."

"How soon?" Sirius asks.

"Soon, Mr. Black," Madam Pomfrey says briskly. "Now, I'll leave you alone." She pulls back the green curtains and exits with a swish of her cloak. We all glance at each other, not sure what to do.

"Remus," Peter begins in a hoarse whisper. "Are you in there?"

I give him credit for it. Peter earned some major brownie points with me in the past few hours.

"Mate…" James whispers from behind me. The atmosphere of a few minutes ago seems to have vanished. The giddiness, the laughter, the twinkling in Sirius's eyes and the brightness of James's smile. All gone. Replaced by the depressing atmosphere that now fills everyone's thoughts and expressions. Sirius's eyes no longer twinkle, James's face is barren of any expression except for a painful grimace. I don't want to know what I look like at the moment.

"Remus…" I finally croak out. His eyes twitch.

"Of course he'll wake up for you," James snorts out, breaking the awkward silence. I half smile, still holding on to his hand. I clear my throat.

"Remus," I say, a little more loudly. "Wake up love."

All of a sudden, his eyes flicker open and glance around at all of us nervously.

"Remus!" I exclaim, jumping off James's lap. "You're awake!"

"Why are you here?" he asks coldly, directing this question to Sirius and myself. My joy falters.

"We…. We wanted to see you," I say, my throat closing up again.

"Why?" he asks again, more coldly still. "Why do I matter?"

"Remus!" I exclaim, being much too loud for Madam Pomfrey's liking. "You don't think you matter?"

"Not to you," he says. If he was more mobile, he would've turned away from me.

"Remus!" I repeat. My heart starts beating a mile a minute. My face flushes. I feel my stomach clench up. Here I am sleep-deprived, bedraggled, barefooted, and looking like complete and total shit, and yet he won't even give me the time of day? Yes. I did something bad. I'm here to talk about it; I cant loose him. Not like this.

"And don't call me 'love'," he mutters, eyes focused on the ceiling.

"What was gotten into you?" I question, already knowing what the answer is going to be.

"You know _exactly _what has gotten into me," he says, still refusing to meet my eyes. "You do, too." He spats this in Sirius's direction.

"What?" Sirius exclaims.

"You know _exactly_ what has gotten into me!" he repeats, looking back up at the ceiling.

"Remus…" I say softly, accepting defeat.

"I SAW WHAT YOU DID!" he screams, his face turning a nasty shade of red, eyes bulging. "I SAW IT! DON'T THINK I DIDN'T! DON'T THINK I WOULDN'T REMEMBER IT!" He finally looks me in the eye, pointing one of his fingers at me.

"Remus, I didn't mean to!" I exclaim, tears spilling over my cheeks again.

"HOW COULD YOU NOT HAVE MEANT TO?" he screams again, his beautiful amber eyes full of hatred. Hatred for me.

"Remus, I'm sorry!"

"DON'T YOU DARE SAY YOU'RE SAY YOU'RE SORRY!"

"_What_ is going on in here?" Madam Pomfrey exclaims, whipping back the green curtains around Remus's bed.

"I want her out," he says, coldly. His voice is calm, but full of malice. Like daggers to my heart.

"You would like me to remove Miss Tonks?" Madam Pomfrey questions.

"Yes. Get her out. Now," he says with the same tone.

"Oh, alright," she says. She then turns to me. Her expression changes when she sees my tear-streaked face. "Miss Tonks, I'm going to have to ask you to leave."

"No," I say blatantly.

"No?" Madam Pomfrey says. "Are you saying _no_ to me?"

"Yes, ma'am, I am," I say, my eyes drilled into Remus's. My brown eyes and his amber eyes meet, and we just glare. His say 'Get out, or else.' Mine say 'Or what? You can't do anything in that bed.'

"Miss Tonks, do you need me to get Professor Dumbledore?" Madam Pomfrey says, a note of sharpness entering her usually calm tone.

"Go ahead, I'm not leaving," I say.

"Tonks," James says from behind me. I break away from Remus for a moment to glance at him. "Just listen to her. We'll meet you later."

"No," I say, looking back at Remus. "I'm not leaving until I get to speak with him."

"I told you to _get out_," he says. "Leave! I don't want to talk to you ever again!"

"Remus!" I say, ignoring Madam Pomfrey's shrieks for backup. "I just want to talk it out! I just-"

"You just what? You just_ accidentally _snogged Sirius? I didn't know you could-"

"NO! I didn't know what I was doing! It was a mistake-"

"A mistake? A _mistake_?"

"Remus, I love you!"

At this, the whole argument stops. Remus, pale and broken, lays back against his pillows, still glaring at me.

"I want you out. Now," he says.

"I WANT TO TALK!" I screech. This desperate scream tears from my throat as I suddenly break down. I double over, my eyes blurry with tears, pain coming from my heart and extending to the tips of my fingers and toes. Those five words had such an impact on me that I can't do anything now but just scream all my pain, all my regret. Look what I'd done.

"Help!" Madam Pomfrey screams as I hear the doors of the Wing burst open. I can't see anything or anyone at the moment and just cling to the bed rail while sobs wrack my body. Through all this panic, I can hear Remus's continued screams of "GET OUT!" and James's controlled exclamations of "Tonks! Tonks calm down! Calm down!"

"LEAVE ME ALONE!" I finally manage, falling to the floor in a crumpled heap. Every little component finally crashes in on me, the sleep-deprivation, the depression, the rejection. The knowledge that no matter how hard I try, I'll never get to have Remus again. Never.

"Over here!" Madam Pomfrey says from the entrance to Remus's bed. I hear a great scuffling of feet and chairs, and suddenly, a big pair of arms wrap around me and lift me off the ground. This crosses the line.

"DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH ME!" I scream. "PUT ME DOWN YOU BASTARD!"

I feel myself being carried out of the room and down the Wing. The whole time, I kick and scream and shout until my head pounds. When we reach the corridor, I feel myself hit the cold, stone floor.

"Don't move," a deep male voice says. I hear his feet shuffle away. Now, what kind of person would leave someone as unstable as me alone in a hallway and tell them to stay put? So, naturally, I wipe the tears from my eyes and crawl back to the doors of the Hospital Wing.

"Not so fast, chickadee," I hear Sirius taunt.

"Leave me alone," I say weakly, trying to dodge their ankles.

"You can't go back in there," I hear James say. I have my eyes trained on the stone floor and refuse to meet their faces.

"I don't care," I say, still on all fours at their feet.

"Tonks don't," Sirius says, kneeling down next to me.

"You'll just make the whole situation worse," James says quietly in my ear.

"What did I say?" I whisper, finally looking at the boys. Peter kneels behind them.

"You were right," James admits. "You have quite a temper."

"I can't loose him James," I say, grabbing his robes in exasperation. "I will fight for him until I die. And that's a promise."

We meet eyes and an unspoken agreement passes between us.

"I'll talk to him for you," he says.

"I love him, James," I say, silent tears making new tracks down my cheek.

"I know you do," James says, grabbing my hand. "Keep fighting."

"I love you too, James," I say, fling myself into his arms and silently weep.

"Tonks?" Sirius croaks out a few minutes later.

"Yes," I say, emerging from James's shoulder.

"I'm sorry," he says.

"Why are you sorry?" I ask.

"I shouldn't have," he says. "This is all my fault."

"It takes two to kiss," I say. "I'm sorry that I led you on, Sirius."

"I don't care," he says, shrugging his shoulders. "I know you love him. He deserves to be happy. _You_ deserve to be happy."

"No hard feelings?" I ask, wiping a tear away from my cheek.

"No hard feelings," Sirius confirms.

"I don't know what I would do without you guys," I say.

"Get thrown out of Hogwarts for causing a scene in the Hospital Wing apparently," James says. I can't help but crack a small smile.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Heeeelllloooo ILYmorethanmyself army! I'm SOOOO incredibly sorry about the delay! Schoolwork drowning me! D: Ive got one more week of school left then it's summer break, and you know what that means! That's right! Updates every few days!;)

SO I don't know if I like this one….. I think I do. Is it too much? Please give me your opinion! Please review! Is it too much of a reaction from Tonks? Should Remus have forgiven her?

Okay well just tell me what you think and I might need to rewrite this one…. I dunno, just review! J love you all!

xoxo


	42. Chapter 41

Hey guys! SO SO SO sorry about not updating in a while! I'm finally done with school so… yay! :D I'm going to have a lot of time to write for now and I'm super excited! I must say, I feel like I neglected this story! D: I will strap myself down and type my heart out! So, I hope that makes you guys happy (: Happy Summer! :D

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_If I could reach up and hold a star for every time you've made me smile, the entire evening sky would be in the palm of my hand. - Unknown _

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Remus's POV*_

As soon as she's gone, kicking and screaming in the hands of the Hit Wizard, I relax. But only for a little while.

I still love her. God, I couldn't love anything in the world more than her. Yet, hearing her say those four simple words, 'Remus, I love you!' had been too much for me. To think that, even for a second, she had thought of me, caused me even more pain than watching her kiss someone other than myself. I didn't want to believe her.

Hearing her confess her 'love' for me had changed me from furious to broken. Thinking back on it, I don't why I was anything but broken.

"_Remus… Wake up love," I hear through my unconsciousness. It stirs something inside of me, and forces me to open my eyes. I see her sitting there in my clothes, mousy brown hair, and dark circles under her eyes; a complete mess. If it wasn't these circumstances, I would've felt bad for her. But I don't. I feel rage. _

_For some reason, my wolf-mind remembered her and Sirius. Kissing. Seeing that made me so enraged that I had to hurt myself, for there was no one else to hurt. My claws tore down my face and made me scream out in agony. Physical pain was better than emotional pain at the time. Usually, I don't remember what goes on during full moons. This was the first time I had remembered something. I guess extra-traumatic experiences does that to a person. _

"_Remus! You're awake!" she exclaims, jumping off James's lap. _

"_Why are you here?" I ask. How dare she show her face now?_

"_We… We wanted to see you," she says, her voice strained, like she is about to cry. She doesn't have to be this upset._

"_Why?" I ask. "Why do I matter?" Why do I matter when she has precious little Sirius to take care of her? _

"_Remus! You don't think you matter?" she exclaims. Her expression is strained. She even looks a bit deranged. _

"_Not to you," I say, voice as cold as ice. More than anything, I want to turn away from her so I don't have to see her beautiful face like that. _

"_Remus!" she cries out in exasperation. Her eyes now look fervid, mentally searching for a way out. _

"_And don't call me 'love'" I say, remembering how she woke me up. I stare fixedly up at the ceiling. _

"_What has gotten into you?" she questions. Me? What has gotten into __her__? _

"_You know __exactly__ what has gotten into me," I say. I remember Sirius. "You do, too." _

"_What?" he exclaims, looking surprised. They need to stop playing dumb. _

"_You know __exactly__ what has gotten into me!" I repeat. I look back up at the ceiling. _

"_Remus…" Tonks whispers softly. _

"_I SAW WHAT YOU DID!" I scream. I had had enough. "I SAW IT! DON'T THINK I DIDN'T! DON'T THINK I WOULDN'T REMEMBER IT!" _

"_Remus, I didn't mean to!" she exclaims, tears pouring out of her eyes. _

"_HOW COULD YOU NOT HAVE MEANT TO?" I scream again, using my good arm to point a nasty finger her way. _

"_Remus, I'm sorry!" _

"_DON'T YOU __DARE__ SAY YOU'RE SORRY!" _

"_What__ is going on in here?" Madam Pomfrey exclaims, entering my bedside area._

"_I want her out," I say, indicating Tonks. I can't stand to look at her anymore. _

"_You would like me to remove Miss Tonks?" Madam Pomfrey questions. She looks quite confused. _

"_Yes. Get her out. Now," I say coldly. _

"_Oh, alright," Madam Pomfrey says. "Miss Tonks, I'm going to have to ask you to leave." _

"_No," she says blatantly. _

"_No?" Madam Pomfrey says, raising an eyebrow. "Are you saying _no_ to me?" _

"_Yes, ma'am, I am," she says, eyes drilled into mine. I glare back, trying to make it as obvious as possible my dislike for her at the moment. _

"_Miss Tonks, do you need me to get Professor Dumbledore?" Madam Pomfrey threatens. _

"_Go ahead, I'm not leaving," she says, still playing the staring game with me. _

"_Tonks," James interrupts from behind her. "Just listen to her. We'll meet you later."_

"_No," she says. "I'm not leaving until I get to speak with him." _

"_I told you to _get out_," I say. "Leave! I don't want to talk to you ever again!" _

"_Remus!" she screams. Madam Pomfrey is heard shouting for back-up through the chaos.. "I just want to talk it out! I just-"_

"_You just what? You just _accidentally _snogged Sirius? I didn't know you could-"_

"_NO! I didn't know what I was doing! It was a mistake!" _

"_A mistake? A _mistake_?"_

"_Remus, I love you!" _

_I can't believe it. How dare she. My anger flares, then falters. I fall apart. _

"_I want you out. Now," I say, barely keeping from breaking down, voice weak. _

"_I WANT TO TALK!" she screeches. She starts bawling and doubles over, clutching to the end of my bed for support, screaming. She just cries and screams as panic ensues around her. Madam Pomfrey rushes out screaming "Help!" and the doors of the Wing burst open. Sirius only sits and watches Tonks falling apart on the floor with a vacant stare in his eyes. James tries to calm her down by getting on his knees next to her, calmly saying "Tonks! Tonks, calm down! Calm down!" I continue to tell her to leave; I can't take it anymore. This is madness. _

"_LEAVE ME ALONE!" she finally manages, collapsing on the floor. _

"_Over here!" Madam Pomfrey yells to someone I can't see. She enters, followed by a big Hit Wizard. He is dressed in the uniform blue robes, but his muscles are easily seen. He pushes some chairs out of the way and finally reaches Tonks on the floor. James quickly gets up and out of the way as the Hit Wizard reaches down and scoops her up. There is an immediate reaction. _

"_DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH ME!" she screams. "PUT ME DOWN, YOU BASTARD!" _

_But, he does not listen to her pleas and carries her out of the Wing, screaming her head off and kicking at the wizard fruitlessly. My tears flow freely now, realizing what I had just lost. _

"_Remus…" Sirius croaks next to me after a few minutes of silence. "I'm so incredibly sorry, mate." _

_I can't answer, so I just turn away. The three of them sit around awkwardly for a few moments before James says "We should go check on her." _

_They get up and exit the Wing, leaving me alone with my tortured thoughts. I can't believe what just happened. _

Hours later I sit uncomfortably in the same bed, with the same thoughts. She can't be gone. She just can't. Yet I was the one who sent her away. I now regret my actions, but can't do a damn thing about them.

If I wasn't a werewolf, this wouldn't have happened. Theoretically, I would've taken her to the dance, so there would have been no chance for her and Sirius to snog. It's all my fault. It's my fault that I now sit here in total agony, wondering where she is. It's my fault that she's gone and won't come back. It's my fault that she probably will never forgive me.

I know she would tell me not to blame myself, but that's nearly impossible now. How can I not blame myself for this, when it was clearly all my fault. I don't deserve her. She's too beautiful, too free, too happy to have to be with someone like me. I know I told her to wait a year or so before we could get into any kind of serious relationship, but now, I don't know how I can uphold that promise. Not after this.

I hear the doors of the Wing swing open and three sets of feet set off down the hall. _They're back_, I think bitterly.

"Remus?" I hear James coax from the other side of the green curtains. I try to say yes, but my voice gets caught in my throat. I cough, then weakly answer "Yeah?"

"Hey, mate," he says again, entering my 'room' followed by Peter, who is followed by a dejected Sirius.

"How're you?" Peter asks, taking a seat to my right.

"I dunno," I say, running a hand through my hair as I do when I'm stressed. "Alive."

"We talked to her," Sirius says suddenly. I pause.

"How is she?" I ask, giving in to my curiosity.

"To be honest, not good, mate," James says, looking up at me.

"Why?" I ask, trying to sound nonchalant, but am truly worried about her.

"She… well," James starts. "We found her in the corridor, bawling her eyes out. She said something about not being able to loose you… She was being serious, I know her well enough to know that." He pauses. "She loves you, mate."

This strikes me as odd. How could she truly love me enough to admit it to James?

"I don't understand," I mumble.

"She loves you! What's so hard to understand?" James asks, apparently trying to cheer me up. "We all know how much you like her, mate. You say her name in your sleep, you can't take your eyes off her when she's around, you go out of your way to make her happy. You love her too, Remus."

"That's why it hurt so much."

Silence falls around the four of us. Sirius is the first to speak up.

"I'm… so sorry," he says, having difficulty getting the words. "If it wasn't for me, this wouldn't have happened. I shouldn't have even tried anything with her, because I made you a promise. And well, I broke it. I understand if you never trust me again, mate, but I hope you can. You're like a brother to me and I solemnly swear that nothing will ever happen between Tonks and I again, as long as you love her."

"It's okay," I say, not even considering what I just admitted.

"What?" he questions.

"I understand," I explain. "I'm still not happy with you, but I forgive you. I know I shouldn't, but I do. She's a beautiful girl."

"I don't think you should," he says, staring at me in disbelief. I stare into his pale grey eyes.

"Sirius Orion Black, I forgive you," I say. "As long as you don't try anything again."

"I wont," he says as his face lights up. "I promise, Remus."

"Now, try not to break that one," I say, cracking a smile. "I don't know if this is me or the drugs talking."

"The drugs," James says, smiling as well. "I wouldn't forgive him."

"Ah, but I have to," I say, reaching up with a bandaged hand to ruffle Sirius's hair. "He's my Sirius." We all start laughing, and suddenly, I feel as though a burden has been lifted off my chest.

Yeah, it was definitely the drugs talking. Now it's time to deal with Tonks.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Hello!

Again, I am sooo incredibly sorry about the delay! Life's been crazy! But now, it's summer, so we all can relax and enjoy the wonders of fan fiction! (:

So, opinions on this chapter? My main question is whether or not you guys like the flashbacks to the previous chapter to see Remus's POV? Is it annoying to reread it or does it help the story? Please share your thoughts! :D

HAPPY SUMMER! :D

xoxo


	43. Chapter 42

I hope you're all enjoying summer, because I know I am! (: PS. Any Avengers fans out there? AWESOME MOVIE! I recommend it to all of you! :D

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_In my wildest dreams, you always play the hero. In my darkest hour of night, you rescue me, you save my life. - By Bliss and Cerney_

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Tonks's POV* _

I have never been more devastated in my life. Getting up to pack for home was bad enough, but knowing that I will have to spend most of my day with him kills me.

I slam my trunk shut and buckle the sides slowly, not wanting to have to talk to anyone else in the dorm. I had entered quietly the previous evening and taken refuge here for several hours, just thinking. When the rest of the girls arrived, I pretended to be sleeping, not wanting to have to answer any questions. _Where were you? Why did Professor Dumbledore call you up last night? Why do you look like you were run over by the Hogwarts Express? _

"Hey Nymphadora," I hear Scarlet call from the opposite side of the room, interrupting my thoughts. "What happened at the ball the other night?"

There is nothing sympathetic in her voice. She taunts me for what happened. I turn slowly around and eye her, a smirk plastered across her features.

"Nothing," I say, turning back around to re-buckle my trunk for the hundredth time.

"Oh, but something did happen," she said, slowly making her way over to my bed. "We all saw the way you and those boys reacted when we first heard it."

"So?" I question.

"So, you know what it was," she says, wrapping an arm around a post of my bed.

"No I don't," I lie. "I was just scared."

"You're lying," she says, her voice as smooth as silk and as cold as ice. "Why would Dumbledore call you to see him? Why were you bawling like a child?"

I have no answer for her trivial questions now. I'm in no shape for coming up with any good lies. I'm sleep-deprived and heartbroken.

"And where was your little pal Remus?" she questions, knowing she has me right where she wants me. "Why didn't he attend the ball? Of course, I would've thought he would've taken you."

Anger flares inside of me. I grip hard onto either side of my trunk, my eyes looking anywhere but at Scarlet. This isn't going to be pretty.

"And where did you go after the ball? You certainly didn't return here. You didn't come back until yesterday."

My head is swimming. I'm almost tempted to reach for my wand and hex the living daylights out of her. But getting expelled wouldn't make the situation any better.

"Tell me," she taunts, circling around the bed to my side. "It was that Sirius kid, wasn't it? I saw you with him. You did something with him and now that Remus-"

But she can't finish her sentence because she's been tackled onto the floor by a very pissed off Tonks.

"Hey! Get off of me!" she screams, fighting against me. I have her pinned to the floor by her shoulders.

"Woah! Tonks, calm down!" I hear Lily yell, and suddenly, I am lifted off of Scarlet.

"Let me at her!" I yell, fighting against Lily as I did with the Hit Wizard. "You heard her, Lily, let me at her!"

"No, Tonks!" she says, using muscles I didn't know she had to turn me around to face her. "You need to calm down."

I stop fighting and glance back at Scarlet, who was being helped up by May. I look back at Lily, whose face is full of concern.

"Tonks, you don't need to be picking fights because you're upset."

"I didn't pick a fight because I'm upset!" I explain, baffled by her behavior. "You heard what she was saying!"

"Yes, I did," she admits, still holding tightly to my shoulders. "But just let it go. She isn't worth it." I let out a breath and relax my muscles. "Good," Lily croons, letting go of my shoulders.

"Thanks, Lil," I say, rubbing the back of my neck awkwardly.

"No problem," she says, a small smile playing on her lips. "It's what friends do."

I smile, then finish packing my belongings. All too soon, I have to leave this place of refuge and face my fears. Dragging my shoulder bag on the ground, my steps are heavy and forced. Each one bringing me closer to _him_.

"Hey chickadee," I hear Sirius croon from the arm of James's couch.

"Wotcher," I breathe out, laying my bag down.

"How're you feeling?" James asks, looking up at me with eyes full of concern.

"I'm… alive," I say, chuckling a little.

"Funny," Sirius says, nodding at James. "That's exactly what Remus said last night."

This makes me cringe.

"Where is he anyways?" I ask, eyeing the room for a sign of him.

"He's still in the Hospital Wing," James explains. "They sent someone up to pack his stuff for him because he's being directly transferred to the train."

"Oh," I say, shuffling my feet.

"Are you sure you're okay?" James asks. I look down at my toes and sigh.

"No," I admit. "It's just killing me."

"What is?" Sirius questions.

"Not knowing whether or not he still loves me," I say without thinking about it.

Silence for a few moments.

"I think he does," James says. I glance up at him.

"What?" I ask, befuddled.

"He… Well, I think he's taking it so hard _because_ he still loves you," he says. "If that makes any sense."

"Not really," I admit, chuckling.

"Well," Sirius starts. "When we talked to him yesterday, he didn't seem angry."

"He seemed more… broken," James finishes. "That's the best way I can describe it."

"You think he still…?" I question.

"Yes," James finishes. This makes my head spin. Two of his best friends believe that he still loves me. That has to mean something.

"Oh…kay," I say, letting out a breath.

"Cheer up kid," Sirius says, slapping my arm playfully.

"I'll try," I say, smiling up at them.

"Now, we need to plot this summer for them to get together," James whispers loudly to Sirius.

"Shut up," I say, laughing around with all of them. All too soon, we are told it's time to leave to board the Hogwarts Express.

We climb on board and find an empty compartment. I seat myself between James and the window. Staring out at Hogsmede station, I don't notice anything else. The boys are carrying on a conversation, but I take no part in it. I just want us to meet and get it over with.

A few minutes before the train is set to leave, the compartment door slides open. Madam Pomfrey stands there, wand held aloft behind her, levitating a large object.

"Hello dears," she greets us, standing in the doorway. "I figured he would want to sit with you lot. Try not to argue please."

"Yeah that's fine," James speaks up, shifting down a little to make room for a sleeping Remus. Madam Pomfrey backs up, levitates the large, sleeping object that is Remus into the compartment, and sets him down softly on the bench.

"If anything goes wrong, please alert the conductor. Although, nothing should go wrong," she says, eyeing Remus for one last time. "Alright?"

"Yes," the four of us say in unison.

"Thanks so much," she says, smiling. "For everything."

"You're welcome," James says, smiling back at her.

She straightens up then, with a swish of her cloak, leaves the train.

We all glance around at each other nervously. What does she mean _If anything goes wrong_? Hopefully nothing.

"Well," Sirius says, clapping his hands and rubbing them together like he was getting ready for a Quidditch match. "What do we do now?"

"Nothing I guess," James says, eyeing Remus reproachfully.

"Just let him sleep," I murmur. So, they listen to me and try to carry on a normal conversation once again. As I'm sitting there, letting their banal talk wash over me, I suddenly feel the sleep-deprivation of the past few days build up and crash over me. I fall into an uneasy stupor, cheek plastered to the window.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Remus's POV*_

It could've been worse.

Meeting her for the first time since the….the spat. That's what I try to tell myself as I sit in the back of my father's old, beat-up Muggle car. My mother keeps glancing back at me, as if she's afraid I'm going to keel over right here and now.

"Mum, I'm fine," I finally blurt out after half an hour of this occurring.

"I'm just worried, Remus!" she says, turning back around in her seat. I glance over at Oliver, who is now going into his 6th year. He glances back at me, then turns away, frowning.

"Why are you worried?" I ask, turning my attention back to my mother.

"All we got was an owl from Madam Pomfrey saying you were extremely injured! When we came to pick you lot up from the train, you were covered in bandages and gauze!" she explains, an inch away from crying.

"It was just a bad-" I start.

"Don't say it!" Elizabeth cries out, shoving her fingers in her ears. For an 11 year-old, she is really immature.

"What?" I say. "Don't say what?"

"Don't say those words!" she says, bawling like a baby. Kevin reaches over and pulls her into his arms in the back seat. Kevin, fresh out of Hogwarts, gives me a cold stare.

"What? How dare he mention his lycanthropy?" Oliver says sarcastically.

"Remus, don't scare her like that!" my mother reprimands from the front seat.

"What?" I exclaim, totally wound up by the injustice of the situation. "I can't say 'full-moon?' What's so bad about that?"

"WAAH!" she wails from the backseat.

"Remus!" my father yells. "It scares her!"

"But why?" I ask, about to tear my hair out. "It's a worse situation for me, then for her!"

"It scares her, Remus!" Kevin says from the back, slowly patting her hair.

This is normal in the Lupin-household. Whenever I nonchalantly mention something about my lycanthropy, Elizabeth gets all wound-up and starts bawling; Kevin comforts her; my mum and dad yell at me for mentioning my condition, when in reality, it should be more traumatic for me; Oliver tries to stick up for me; and Libby stays silent, torn between the two sides.

The family goes like this: Oliver and I against Kevin, Elizabeth, and my parents. My parents try their best to accommodate me, but end up giving in to Elizabeth's wails of fear. Poor Olivia is stranded in the middle, not knowing what is right or wrong. She loves me and Oliver more than Kevin and Elizabeth, but wants to stay loyal to our parents. Kevin sometimes tries to bully her into taking his side. It's a horrible situation. Brother against brother, children against parents. But, it's my life and my family. I have no other choice.

Once we arrive home, I don't talk to anyone and retreat to my room. I hear my father dragging the trunks in and slamming the door. I sigh and gingerly sit down on the bed, nursing my broken right arm.

I think about her. What she's doing, how she is, whether or not she remembers our meeting the same way I do. It could end up being a totally different story to her, I have no idea.

I just hope she's happy. I just hope she can look at herself and say "You know what? It's okay." I'm still incredibly angry with her, but my heart tells me it's time to forgive her. I don't know how I can.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

So this is just a transition chapter, nothing really exciting happened! It's just setting up for summer break I guess! Sorry if you thought it was boring! D:

LOVE YOU ALL! Please leave a review! (:

xoxo

PS. If you've seen The Avengers, who is your favorite Avenger? Mine's Iron Man because I personally find him hilarious. And he's very much like myself! ^.^


	44. Chapter 43

"_I love you, and because I love you, I would sooner have you hate me for telling you the truth then adore me for telling you lies." -Pietro Aretino _

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Tonks's POV*_

The sun beats down on the back of my neck, making me sweat more than I ever have in my life; summers at home always seem to be the hottest. I'm walking along a dirt lane that twists and turns through the forest near my home; a river babbles happily to my right.

My head is swimming, full of confusion and panic. I can't bring myself to forget our first meeting after the fight. Even by mid-July, memories of it still haunt me.

_I am stirred from my uneasy sleep by the sound of talking. I give a slight groan and rip my cheek from the window, sitting upright. _

"_Wassgoinon?" I mumble groggily, rubbing my eyes. Everyone in the compartment stares at me, as if they just finished talking about me._

"_What?" I ask. They all stare blankly back. I notice James is blocking my view of the seat Remus was placed earlier, so I move my head a little to the left and see he's there, awake and giving me a stare full of malice. _

"_How are you?" Sirius questions, obviously trying to distract me. _

"_Tired," I admit, but immediately turn my attention back to Remus. "You're awake." _

"_So are you," he says coldly. _

"_Well, I hope you're feeling better," I spat, not so nicely, back at him. _

"_If you want to finish this argument, be my guest," he says, sifting in his seat. _

"_I don't want to finish the argument, I want to talk," I say, trying my best to control the flow of fury now coursing through me. _

"_You want to talk?" he questions sarcastically. _

"_Yes I do," I say, standing up and making my way to the door. "Can you walk?" _

"_Yes," he scoffs, shakily standing up, faltering a few times, and making his way over to the door. I don't know if I can trust that he can walk very far._

"_We'll be back," I say, and sweep from the compartment. _

"_Why did we need to leave?" he asks. _

"_I want this to be private," I say, and speed up. _

"_Can you slow down?" he asks after a few minutes. I sigh and wait for him to catch up. We pass countless numbers of full compartments, but only the last one on the train is completely unoccupied. _

"_Here," I say, and hold the door for him. He passes me then take a seat on the left. I close the door and sit opposite him. I put my elbows on my knees and stare the floor, my head in my hands, shaking._

"_So?" he says, after a few moments of silence. "You were the one who wanted to talk." _

"_I know, I know," I say, my mind working furiously. "I'm thinking of what to say." _

"_Well, you better think faster," he says. "We're almost home." _

"_Okay…" I start, taking a deep breath. "Promise you won't interrupt until I'm done." _

"_I promise," he says. _

"_Well… I can't say I'm that proud about what I did. I'm not at all proud, actually. I just… didn't know what to do in that kind of situation. You weren't there and Sirius and I were just having such a good time. I knew he promised you that nothing would happen, but obviously that didn't work out. He's Sirius, what do you expect? Well, I gave in, but as soon as I heard that first howl, I'd realized what I'd done. I realized what an ass I was being. The whole night had just culminated to that very moment and I froze; I didn't know what to do. Sirius probably had it planned the entire night. I guess you could say I did it without thinking about it. And now, I regret it. I don't even like Sirius, I like you! And.. you know I do. You have to realize that, right?"_

"_I guess I do." _

"_Well then, why are you taking it so hard? You know I like you! It was one mistake, and the biggest one of my life so far. I can't even begin to explain the torture I put myself through the night after. You notice my hair? I don't have the heart to change it, because I'm not happy… Am I rambling?" _

"_A little," he says with a small smile. _

"_Sorry," I say, looking down into my lap. "Just… I'm sorry. And I hope you can forgive me." _

"_Can I talk now?" _

"_Go for it." _

"_The reason I took it so hard was because… I do love you," he pauses. "I know most people will look at me and laugh and say 'how can you be in love?' Well, I am, and I don't know how to describe it. I've loved you since I met you, and people will scoff at that too, but it's the truth. I couldn't stand seeing you with him, it just looked wrong in my eyes. You belong with me. And I don't want to sound possessive and crazy, but that's just my feelings." _

"_I agree," I say, tearing up. _

"_But, I don't know how I can start something with you after this," he admits, letting out a breath. "I just don't know. Can I trust you?" _

"_I believe so," I say, trying to sound convincing. _

"_I don't know," he says, shaking his head. "I just… it's hard."_

"_Please," I plead. "Please forgive me." _

"_I do," he says solemnly. "I forgive you. But, we're going to have to work on our relationship…" Tears build in my eyes and my sight becomes blurry. I blink them out and I feel the hot, salty liquid run down my cheeks. _

"_You've said that before," I say. _

"_I know I have, Tonks, but this serious," he says. He gets up and crosses to my seat slowly. He lays a hand on my leg. "I love you, Nymphadora Tonks, but we're going to have to work on trust." _

"_I promise, I won't do anything again," I plead. _

"_I just have to be sure of that," he says. He leans over and kisses my hair as I start to cry. He then pulls me into his broken arms, rubbing my back in lazy circles with his good arm. "Shhh… I hate doing this to you." _

"_Then why do you do it?" I choke out through tears._

"_Because I feel as if it will make our relationship stronger," he explains. "I promise we'll become better people after this. It might not make sense, but… it makes sense in my heart." _

"_You think it'll make us better people?" I ask, sitting up._

"_Yeah," he says, wiping away a tear with his good arm. As I look at him, I notice he is teary-eyed too. _

"_Remus, you're crying," I say, smiling a little._

"_I know," he says. "It hurts to do this." _

"_We can do it," I say, holding his hand. "We can do this." _

"_I know we can," he says, smiling. He then leans in and places a small kiss on my lips. It brings old sensation of euphoria into me. My stomach does a somersault and my heart rate speeds up. All too soon, he pulls away. "Come on, dry your tears, we need to leave soon." _

Our last meeting still wakes me in the middle of the night, screaming his name and wishing for his arms to be around me, comforting me. It haunts me because there are so many loose ends, so many unanswered questions. I don't know how he feels about it anymore and it scares me. He won't answer any of my letters for reasons unknown and I don't know what to do about it.

I kick a rock down a slight slope and into the river. It makes a huge splash KERPLUNK! I sigh and set myself down on the side of the riverbank, drawing nothing in particular in the mud.

I want to know if he's still mad at me. I want to know how he's feeling. I want to know why he won't answer any of my letters. I want to know if he still loves me.

So many unanswered questions that need to be answered.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Remus's POV*_

A pile of letters sit unanswered on my desk. My dirty clothes lay strewn about the room. My bed is unmade, my homework not done, my body bearing the most pain in my life. This behavior has been so unlike me, Oliver has noticed.

"Hey little brother," he calls, knocking on my door.

"Hey," I say, not moving from my post on the bed.

"What's going on?" he asks, crossing my cluttered room and taking a seat on the end of my bed.

"Nothing," I say, staring blankly at the ceiling.

"What's wrong?" he asks.

"Nothing's wrong," I say, glancing at him.

"I know something's wrong," he says, laying a comforting hand on my shin.

"Nothing," I say, continuing to stare at the ceiling.

"Come on, little brother," he says, pleading.

"Nothing is wrong, Oliver," I repeat.

"Is it that girl you fancy?" he questions. I pause and think for a moment.

"Yes," I admit.

"What happened?" he asks, settling himself down for a long talk. "You haven't been the same since you've been home."

"Well…" I say, and start headfirst into the story. I start from the beginning, first kissing her in the corridor at the beginning of term. He listens and nods and adds whenever is appropriate. Oliver is an excellent listener and that's one of the reasons why I love him so much. When I've finished, he sits silently for a moment. I realize during the course of my story, I've begun to cry and hastily wipe the tears away.

"You've been through the wringer, little brother," he says, nodding his head.

"I know," I say scofflingly.

"Well, do you still love her?" he asks. "Truly, I mean."

"I think I do," I say, now unsure whether or not it's love. "I know many people would tell me it's impossible to love at this age."

"Well, I would argue with them," he says. "You can love as soon as you're born. You love your family right? Well, I believe that you can fall in love at any age. Some will disagree with me too, but I wholeheartedly believe this. There is no set age when you can begin to love another person. You could be in love with her."

"You think so?" I ask, some new kind of hope rising inside of me.

"Well, that's for you to decide," he says, smiling at me.

"I think… I think I do," I say, a smile spreading across my face. "I'm in love with her."

"Congratulations, little bro," he says, smiling down at me.

"I'm in love with her," I repeat. I thought I'd known it all along, but it's never really set in like this before. The euphoria from it is incredible. I'm in love with somebody.

"Well, that makes one of us," he says, getting up and striding to the door. "I'll uhh… be back with dinner in a few minutes."

"Thanks Oliver," I say, beaming. "For everything."

"You're welcome," he says, smiling back. All of a sudden we hear "Oliver! Come here and get _its_ food!" Oliver's face turns brick red and mumbles "Now let me go beat up Kevin" before slamming the door shut.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Holaaa! How are you lovelies?

So, I dedicate this chapter to all the graduates! Especially my cousin (who just graduated yesterday) and LupinxTonks4ever, one of my dearest fan fiction friends! Congratulations! Well done! You made it! :D Yaaaay!

Like the chapter? I think I like it… Everything in character and good? Leave a review pleaseee! (:

It can be kind of confusing and I'm not sure whether or not you get it! I hope so!

xoxo

Ps. Avengers fans:

ajlover - Black widow and Hawkeye are together? Huh, I never knew… And sadly, I'm not _planning_ on writing Avengers fanfics because I believe that my specialty is romance and there's really no romance in the Avengers, unless you count BlackHawk, who don't inspire me! Sorry D: But, I might later! This story is going to be looooong and a HUGE project for me! I also have a few one-shot ideas, so maybe after that, Ill try some Avengers stuff! (: thanks so much! Oh and yes, I will be writing some minor James/Lily stuff! Just some side stuff, but it'll be in the story!


	45. Chapter 44

_If kisses were water I would give you the sea, if hugs were the leaves I would give you a tree, but if love was time, I would give you eternity. ~ Unknown_

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Tonks's POV* _

I don't remember falling asleep, but when I regain consciousness, I have to peel a few dead leaves from my cheek as I sit up. I yawn and stretch, suddenly noticing how pink the sky is; I should be home now. My mother is going to kill me. This sudden thought is enough to make me panic so that my heart starts pumping a million miles an hour. I scramble up and start running back down the dirt path, leaving behind my intricately drawn mud designs. They all have one thing in common: a boy and girl in love. I guess you could say I have Remus on the brain.

My converse-clad feet strike the dirt at an alarming rate and soon, I'm breathless. When I reach the gate of my house, just past the border of the forest, I stop dead and fall over. My mother is standing in the threshold of our front door with her wand tapping viciously on her thigh.

"Nymphadora…" she says coldly as I pick myself up.

"Mother…" I say, wiping some dirt off my butt.

"Where were you, Nymphadora?" she asks, still tapping her wand.

"I fell asleep on the riverbank, Mum. I'm okay," I say, rolling my eyes.

"Get inside, now," she says, stepping back to make room for me. I hang my head and obey, passing her and into the kitchen. There I find sixteen year-old Aaron pouring over a Muggle comic book. I stalk over and look at the cover.

'"'Iron Man?'" I read, furrowing my brow. "What in the world is that, Aaron?"

"A comic book!" he explains, setting it down to look at me. "Surely this isn't something new to you."

"Well…" I say, looking at some of the pictures inside. "It doesn't even move!"

"It's for Muggles, dumbass!" he says, chuckling.

"I know that!" I say, exasperated, looking down into the book once more. "What's it about?"

"Well, this guy Tony Stark-" Aaron starts, but is cut off by my mother clearing her throat. "What, Mum?"

"Would you mind leaving the kitchen for a little while?" she asks. "I would like to speak to Nymphadora alone."

I roll my eyes but Aaron says, "Sure" and retreats from the room, bringing his odd comic with him.

"What is it, Mum?" I ask, grabbing a glass from a cabinet.

"I don't like you staying out late," my mother says.

"Mum, I fell asleep on the riverbank!" I explain. "It's not like I was having sex or anything!"

"Well Nymphadora, you're growing up," she says. "You're a teenager now, and I know you like that boy at school, Remus." I almost spill my glass of water.

"Mum!" I say, rolling my eyes. "Do you not trust me?"

"No, Nymphadora, it's just that I want you to know what is acceptable and what is not," she says. "Sasha and Aaron got this talk, too."

"Well, it must've worked on perfect Sasha," I say sarcastically.

"Don't you dare say things like that about Sasha!" my mother basically screams. This sudden outburst startles me so that I whip around to face her strained expression. "It's hard times, Nymphadora, and if you don't appreciate your brother… He's got a job at the Ministry now and it's a very dangerous place to work at the time being."

"Mum, Sasha can handle himself," I say, softening my voice a little now that I realize she is upset. I cross to where she is sitting at the kitchen table.

"I didn't know where you were," she said, mopping up tears, finally admitting why she was so upset with me for being late. "You could've been killed, or captured, or-"

"Mum, I'm okay," I say, laying a hand on her knee. "I'm right here."

"I know, dear, I know," she says, pulling me into her arms. "I just can't stand the thought of losing any of you. Sasha lives away, and Aaron is getting older. You're maturing. And knowing you feel that way about Sasha is hard. He could be gone any day now, Nymphadora, any of us could."

"Don't say that, Mum," I say, hugging her back. "We'll be okay."

"I hope so, dear," she says. We stay silent for a moment, taking in each other's presence. "And Nymphadora, I also wanted to talk to you about your abilities."

"What about them?" I ask, pulling away from her loving grip.

"I want you to stay true to yourself, Nymphadora. You're old enough now to want to change yourself into something you aren't. You'll be pressured by boys and classmates to become the perfect girl. Don't do it, Nymphadora. Stay true to yourself. Remember what your mum told you."

"I will, Mum, I promise," I say, smiling. "I didn't plan on doing that anyways; it wouldn't be any fun."

"Good, you're ahead of the game," she says, finally releasing me and walking over to grab a tissue; she lets out a breath. "What would you like for dinner?"

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Remus's POV*_

The angst of the past few weeks has worn off by now. I've finished some of my homework, cleaned my room, and am now starting to answer my mail.

_Dear James, _

_I'm so incredibly sorry I haven't replied sooner. That whole fiasco with the ball really threw me off, and I'm just now getting back to normal Remus. My brother helped me understand something I thought I'd known all along, but really didn't. It was kind of amazing. I'll explain more when we get back to school. _

_So, about this "project." You and Sirius really need to tell me what's going on, because I didn't get to hear the full story before we left school. I know you guys have been working on this for a long time now, but if it will get you in trouble, I urge you to stop. What does it involve? I know it has something to do with my "furry little problem," but what? You need to explain. And, if I remember right, Peter is involved too? Please tell me Tonks isn't. If you guys pull her into something that could get her in trouble, I'll… I don't know what I'll do. Just please be careful. _

_So, how are you guys doing? Having fun at the Potter household? Probably a hell of a lot better than my living hell, I can give you that. Maybe we can arrange a get-together sometime soon? You know, just the guys? I need something like that. _

_Well, I hope you're enjoying your summer!_

_Remus _

I fold up the letter and place it in an envelope. It then finds its way to the pile of letters I need to send out. Kevin, being the asshole he is, took the family owl and won't let me use it until he's all done with her. In reality, he doesn't have anything to send, he just wants to be a prat to me. I grab a new sheet of paper and the single letter I have from Tonks. It reads:

_Remus,_

_I'm going to be the first one to admit this is hard for me to write this. I'm not sure why you haven't written yet (I would have expected you to) so I'll write first this summer. _

_How are you? Are your wounds all healed up? I hope so. I'm good, doing nothing in particular. I'm kind of bored to be honest. _

_Well, I hope you can answer me soon, and if you feel as if this was an awkward letter, then you were right. I'm just… sorry Remus. About everything. Just… please answer. _

_Tonks _

I smile at how awkward she is about the whole situation. She has no idea that I've forgiven her, and that I love her. I run my thumb over her name at the bottom, thinking about how I can imagine her writing this: crouched over, not caring about her messy handwriting. I look back down at my blank sheet and start my letter back.

_Tonks, _

_First off, I don't want this to be hard for you. Tonks, I took a good hard look at this whole situation, and I've come to realize, it was all a learning experience. It happened. We've got to move on to something bigger and better than this, because I know we can do that. It'll be better for both of us if we stop focusing on the negatives and try to turn to the positives. We can do this, you said it yourself. _

_The reason I didn't answer earlier was because I guess you could I say I wasn't feeling like myself. The aftermath of the whole thing really shook me up and now I'm starting to feel loads better. I actually finished my Transfiguration and my Potions summer work, which is back on schedule for me. How are you? I hope you're not too rattled, and it will make me feel much better if you answer this. _

_Enjoy the rest of your summer, Tonks, that's all I ask. Live life and forget. It's a new chapter in my life, and should be in yours too. You're one of the best things that's ever happened to me. I love you. _

_Remus_

Writing that last sentence was risky, but I had to do it. I seal it and place it on top of James's letter. As if on cue, someone knocks on the door.

"Come in," I say, grabbing a sheet of paper to answer Lily's letter.

"Kevin wanted me to bring you the owl," I hear Oliver say as he enters my room. I turn around and see him carrying our family owl on his forearm.

"Oh thanks," I say, standing up with my pile of finished letters in hand. "I actually have quite a few letters ready to be sent. Would you be a dear and send them for me?"

"Sure, little brother," Oliver says, taking the pile. He turns right back around and out my bedroom door. I hear him yell something at Kevin, but can't make out what it is.

As soon as he's gone, I sit down and turn back to my letters. I write Lily's name elegantly at the top of the blank sheet of parchment and sigh. I want Tonks's response now.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Tonks's POV*_

Laying in my warm bed on a sunny summer morning is as close to my idea of paradise as you can imagine. My big fluffy comforter wraps around my torso and my feet poke out the bottom; warm morning sunlight streams through my window and across my bed. The room is silent, and the world is at peace for this short period in time, as if all is right. Unfortunately, the peace is about to be disturbed.

"TONKS! " I hear Aaron yell up the stairs. "MAIL FOR YOU!"

My eyes flash open and I sit up, hair frumpled and already in a bad mood. I was in my happy place, how dare he disturb that? I swing my legs off the bed and stalk across my room to the door which I swing open and shout: "You couldn't have waited until I was awake?"

"No!" he responds from the floor below. "It's from Remus!"

My heart stops. Suddenly, I don't care that I've been woken up way too early. I thunder down the stairs and into the kitchen where Aaron is holding the mail. I grab the letter from his hands and believe it or not, it's actually from Remus.

"Thanks Aaron, but if you ever wake me like that again, I will personally burn your entire collection of Muggle comics," I threaten, tearing open the letter. He chuckles.

"What does it say?" my mother asks, who is sitting next to Aaron, cutting up some sausage. I sink slowly into the seat across from Aaron, scanning the page.

"Nothing much," I lie, holding back tears. "Just about his summer-will you excuse me a moment?"

I scramble up and retreat back my room as fast as I can, flinging myself on my bed, bawling tears of joy, relief, shock. This one letter has brought me so much hope, I can't help but cry.

_He loves me._

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Hey guys! So, I'll admit this was hard for me to write (and I don't know why), as you can tell by how long it took for me to post this! Don't give up on me yet, I promise I'll finish this! Promise promise promise promise. (:

So how are you guys? Good I hope! Enjoying summer? Thanks so much to all of you!

Pleaseeeeeeeee review! :D

xoxo


	46. Chapter 45

"_There is never a time or place for true love. It happens accidentally, in a heartbeat, in a single flashing, throbbing moment." ― Sarah Dessen_

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Remus's POV* _

A suitcase lays open on my bed as I pace around my room, trying to think of anything I could have forgotten. In a few minutes, I'll be leaving my personal hell to go on a trip that manifested itself from James's latest letter.

_Remus, _

_It's okay mate, I understand. I can't wait to hear about your "epiphany." _

_Remus, calm down. Okay, maybe it could get us in trouble, but what do you think all this planning has been for? This is two years in the making here. Yeah, Peter is involved, but Tonks isn't. I hope you're happy, but as soon as she finds out, she's going to be pissed that she wasn't involved. But, rest assured, we're being careful. I can't explain in a letter, so would you like to come visit Sirius and I in a few days? I'll invite Peter, too. I hope you can come so we can explain ourselves. It's time. _

_We're all well. Yes, the Potter household is party central, as always. Sorry about that, mate, but the get-together is soon! And school is only a month away! You can bear it, I know you can! _

_See you soon,_

_James _

Today is finally the day I've been waiting for: the 21st of July and time to go on this much anticipated vacation. A vacation from this place that's supposed to offer comfort and security, but gives anything but that. As I slam my beaten-up suitcase shut and venture from my room, I glance down the hallway at Elizabeth's small figure, dashing into her room at the sight of me; a perfect example of why this trip is so welcomed. I roll my eyes and continue my journey into the kitchen, where the whole family, except for Elizabeth, is spending their free time.

"Everything packed, Remus?" my mother questions as I enter, drying a dish from her position at the sink.

"I believe so," I say, smiling meekly, glancing at Kevin's malevolent stare from the table.

"Alright, well you better get going, you don't want to be late," she says, setting a dish down to give me a hug and a kiss goodbye.

"See you son," my father grunts from his post at the table, reading the Daily Prophet. Olivia squeals goodbye and hugs me tightly; Oliver gives me a loving slap on the back and a hug; Kevin does nothing but stare.

"Say goodbye, Kevin, he'll be gone for two weeks," my mother commands.

"Bye," Kevin says stiffly from his seat. I roll my eyes and sigh. I want to confront him violently with a burning passion, but now is not the time. One day, something is going to make me snap, and he's going to regret everything. For now, I just want to leave.

"I'll be seeing you soon," I say through clenched teeth as I grab a handful of floo powder. I throw it into the fire and shout: "James Potter's house!" as swirling green flames appear. I step in and give one last look at my family as the flames engulf my body. It's a warm tickly feeling that I've always quite enjoyed.

The spinning sensation hits me as I fume about Kevin's behavior. If I really hated one person in this world, it would be Kevin. There's a lot of people I don't particularly like, but a hatred that deep is something I feel only for Kevin. I don't think anyone could ever be more hated in my eyes, except maybe Fenrir Greyback. But he's a whole other story. As I slow down, James's extravagant living room swims before my eyes. I have to make an effort to push these negative thoughts from my consciousness as I come to a complete stop.

"Hey!" James exclaims as I step out of the fire. "How are you?" He walks over and slaps a hand on my sooty back, causing a cloud of dust to surround us. He chuckles as I start to clean myself off.

"Fine," I answer as I brush soot off my shoulder. "Just dumb Kevin drama, but that's not anything new. How about you two?"

"Great," Sirius answers. I peek behind James to see him lounging on the very couch Tonks I had shared a kiss a few months ago at Christmas. My insides squirm, then calm. I can't do this to myself now. "We're just waiting for Peter now."

"Great," I say, taking a seat in a very expensive-looking recliner.

"Got any biscuits?" Sirius questions.

"Well, you know it's not a very good idea to eat before… yanno," James says, giving him a very knowing look.

"Oh yeah… you're right. The first time I did it, we got to see my burrito again. And, it got all over your couch imported from China."

"What in Merlin's name are you talking about?" I ask, confused as hell.

"You'll see," James says, smirking. All of a sudden, green flames appear in James's fireplace and Peter, a little wobbly, steps out.

"Hey guys," he says, smiling.

"Hey Pete," James greets.

"Alright," I say. "Now that everyone is here, it's time to show Remus this project."

"Alright, Miss Impatient-Pants," Sirius says, smirking.

"Hey I just got here!" Peter exclaims, exasperated. "Now 'how've you been?' or 'I've missed you' or anything like that?"

"Nope," Sirius says, getting off the couch and standing next to James. "Remus needs to see this."

"Fine," Peter shrugs, shoulders sinking. "But we're not doing this by a creek again. You guys almost lost me last time!"

My head is swimming as I try to process this all at once. My usually brilliant mind is coming up short; I don't have a single clue as to what they're up to. As James leads the way to the front door, he grabs a bag from a hook on the wall and gives Sirius a look.

"Is that….?" Sirius questions, eyeing the bag.

"Yeah," James says, shrugging. "We don't need a repeat of last time."

"From all this talk, 'last time' must've been a complete disaster," I say sarcastically.

"Actually it was," James explains, shouldering the bag. "You'll understand everything soon."

"If you say so," I say, sighing. We then follow James out the front door and into his driveway, where we meet Lowen cleaning Mrs. Potter's Muggle car.

"Lowen!" I exclaim without thought. She straightens up and searches for the person who has called her name for a moment. She then spots me.

"Is that Remus?" she asks, walking over, still holding a soapy sponge. "Why it _is_ Remus!" she says as she gets closer.

"You…. had your baby!" I say, noticing her flat stomach. "Boy or girl?"

"Girl," she says, smiling sweetly. "Her name is Annabelle."

"What a lovely name," I say.

"Thank you," she says, never once letting her smile disappear. "Where are you off to, Master James?"

"Lowen, you don't have to call me that," he says, blushing.

"Your mother wants me-" she starts.

"I know, I know," he says, waving a hand in her direction. "She wants you to be formal."

"That was her instruction, yes," Lowen confirms.

"It's okay around me," he says. She nods and then regains her friendly aura.

"So where are you four off to?" she asks again.

"Just a walk in the woods," James says. "Tell my mother we'll be back by dinner."

"Alright," she says, nodding. "Fair enough."

"Thank you, Lowen," James says as we continue our walk.

"You're welcome, James," she says. "Nice to see you again."

"Nice to see you again, too," I say as we pass her and continue down a small slope.

"She's such a dear," Sirius says as we come across a dirt path leading into the woods that James takes us down.

"She favors you, Sirius," James says, pushing back a branch blocking the path. "She only makes those biscuits you love when you're here."

"Well, who doesn't love Sirius?" he questions, a bit cocky. I snigger. "Think I'm funny, Lupin?"

"No, not at all actually," I say, chuckling.

"Well, I'll have you know-" and Sirius goes on and on and on for the remainder of our trek through the forest.

"What are we looking for?" I question as I realize we've been walking for an hour.

"A good place to show you our project," James says from the front of our group.

"What kind of place?" I ask, glancing around.

"Big, secluded, open" he describes. "I'll know when I see it."

So we continue walking until we round a bend and see a small clearing up ahead.

"That's it," James says, his pace quickening with each step. When we reach it, he stops and evaluates for a moment. "Yeah this is it."

"Okay," I say, facing the three of them. "Time to spill the beans."

"Yeah he's right," James says, twiddling his thumbs. "Okay, so when we found out you were, yanno, a werewolf, we, being your best friends, did some research on lycanthropy. We found that, no matter how hungry a werewolf is, he will not attack an animal. Werewolves only hunt humans, so in conclusion, a werewolf is harmless to animals."

"Okay…" I say, confused as to why this is relevant to them.

"We also talked a lot about trying to make your full moons easier on you," Peter picks up. "We wanted you to be able to, for lack of a better word, enjoy it, although that might never be fully possible. We want to be able to be with you during full moons."

"That's so dangerous though!" I protest, starting to pace back and forth, my mind spinning with all the possible things they could have done.

"Not if you're an animal," Sirius says, smirking.

"Well, you're obviously animals!" I say, looking away from them as run my fingers through my hair as I do when I'm stressed.. "Come on guys, tell me up front-" But I'm cut off by what I see.

I turn back around to face them, but they are no where to be seen. In their places stand a huge, magnificent, white stag; a large, black, shaggy dog; and a small brown rat. I look around in a frenzy to find my friends. Then it hits me. They are the… animals. They became animagi. I cross to the stag and stare into its bright green eyes. I feel as if those eyes are familiar, and can pierce my very soul.

"James?" I question, feeling faint. All of a sudden, James is standing where the stag stood seconds before, smiling meekly.

"Yeah, it's me," he says. I blink my eyes very fast as my brain starts working a million miles an hour. I cross to the back dog with astonishingly bright gray eyes.

"Sirius?" I ask. Then, he too transforms back into himself.

"How did you know?" he asks, chuckling.

"Your eyes," I admit, short of breath. "That's Peter." I say, indicating the rat.

"Yeah it's me," Peter says, transforming back to a human. "What do you think?"

"I think…" I say, not able to finish my sentence as I stumble backwards onto a boulder. I sit and fume for a second.

"We're not done by any means," James says. "We just started transforming a few weeks ago. Before that, it was just wandwork. We need loads more practice, and even this isn't completely right. Peter doesn't have a tail and Sirius can't bark. We need more time."

"You guys…" I start, looking for the right words. "You guys are crazy geniuses. I can't believe you… wow."

"Pretty amazing, I know," Sirius says, smiling.

"You guys are the best," I say, getting up and pulling them into a group hug. This one moment makes up for any shit I had to deal with earlier this morning. I couldn't be happier or more proud.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Hey guys!

Ugh, this one was so delayed! I'm so sorry! I had an acting camp last week so things were crazy and I'm just getting around to writing now… SOOO sorry!

Hopefully I'll have another chapter up in a few days! Well, crossing my fingers!

How about this one? Pretty good? Pretty bad? I think I like it! Marauders stuff, woo!

Thanks so much to all of you who have kept faith in me! I love you all! Please take time to leave a review! (:

xoxo


	47. Chapter 46

"_Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own." ― Robert A. Heinlein_

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Remus's POV* _

The idea that my three best friends became illegal animagi for _me_ is still hard to fathom even now a few hours later. We sit in James's room, passing chocolate frogs and Bertie Bot's among the four of us, talking about girls, summer, and school.

"How're you and Evans, James?" Peter questions, throwing some Bertie Bot's in his mouth.

"Well…" James says, blushing as Sirius nudges him in the ribs. "Let's just say she's playing hard-to-get."

"As in, she completely rejected him," Sirius adds, chuckling.

"No, she did not," James says, trying very hard to cover his ass. "She said 'Potter, if you ever ask me out again, I'll hex you into next Tuesday!' which isn't necessarily a rejection!"

"That's a rejection, mate," I say, taking a swig of butterbeer, laughing. It was the first time I'd spoken all night.

"Oh, so how are _your_ girl problems then? Eh? Wanna make fun of me now?" James says tauntingly.

"I… honestly don't know," I say, solemnly.

"What do you mean?" Sirius questions, calming down a bit from the flippant atmosphere of a few moments ago.

"I…" I say, looking down into my lap, debating whether or not to tell them this. It can't hurt can it? I mean, they're my best mates. "I told her I loved her."

"What?" James exclaims, jaw to the floor. I look around at the three of them and they're all wearing identical expressions of shock, horror, and weird sense of pride.

"I wrote to her and…. I told her I loved her," I say, chortling in disbelief at my own actions.

"Remus, my dear friend," Sirius says, sideling over with a bottle of butterbeer in hand. "You never tell a girl you love them this early on!"

"But I do, Sirius!" I say, in exasperation.

"How do you know?" James asks, taking a swig of butterbeer. "I don't deny that you are, I just want to know."

"Well…" I say, and go off on an explanation of my talk with Oliver. For some reason, my story must've captivated them because they all sit there with intent listening expressions on their faces. When I'm done, they all sit and stare at me for a long while. I wait with baited breath. Would they think I'm some fool?

"That's deep, mate," Sirius says, breaking the silence.

"I know," I say, shaking a little bit, thinking of her. "And I want to tell her face to face."

"Remus, are you sure that's a good idea?" Peter asks.

"I don't care," I say. "I need to tell her now. You saw her behavior after the ball, didn't you? I don't think she'll be angry."

"I can agree with that," Sirius says.

"I don't mean to sound so conceited here, but I do really think she loves me back."

"What did respond?" James asks.

"I… didn't get a reply," I admit embarrassingly.

"I want to know her response to that," Sirius says, smirking a little bit. "'How teenage girls react to proclaims of love.' That should be a book."

"I agree," James says, chuckling.

"Well, we all know you two are destined to be together," Peter says, smirking.

"Hey, be quiet," I say, blushing and throwing a pillow at him.

"What?" he says, attempting to catch the pillow and failing miserably; it hits him square in the face. "You two have been lovebirds for months now!"

"No we have not!" I say, blushing even harder.

"Don't be embarrassed, Remus," Sirius says. "We've been through this before. She's a pretty girl. You know I approve."

"Oh, shut up," I say, cracking a smile. "I do really like her."

"And you'll have us three to help you out!" James says, walking over and swinging an arm around my shoulder. "We'll help you with your lady troubles." He smirks.

"Thanks guys," I say, smiling meekly.

"Here's to an exciting year in love, friendship, and animagi," James says, arm still slung around my shoulders, raising his butterbeer high. We all raise our bottles to meet his and say "Here, here!" and drink deeply. I do agree, this is going to be a great year.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Tonks's POV* _

The end of summer comes way too quickly for my liking. I'm going to miss spending hot summer days with Aaron down at the creek, cooling off; I'll miss riding our bikes down the dirt lane in the woods, making jokes and having picnics; most of all, I'll miss not worrying about Remus. I hadn't answered his letter, and I didn't plan on it. I can't respond to that in a letter. This was going to have to be done in person.

Since Sasha wasn't going to Hogwarts this year, he wouldn't be accompanying us on our trip to Diagon Alley. Instead, he went job hunting. He wanted to work in the Ministry, but finding a job there was getting harder every day. Lord Voldemort was gaining followers, and quickly, making everything a struggle.

On the morning of September the 1st, I get up extra early to get ready. Not that I feel as if I have to impress Remus, but I want to look really nice for him anyways. I take the time to put on some makeup, do my hair, wear flattering clothes. I'm turning 14 anyways. For some reason, today I wanted to stand out. I wanted to be able to be picked out from a crowd of people and they would say "Hey, look at her." I decided to make my hair the color purple today.

I know I would get many looks and questions about it, but I liked it. It makes me look fun and unique, and that was what I considered myself. I slammed my trunk shut and dragged it down the steps, one at a time _thump thump thump._ I eat a quick breakfast and then, I'm whisked away to the car because we're late.

"Hurry up, Nymphadora," my mother calls from the yard. I lace up my converses and rush out the door, tripping, but managing to keep from falling flat on my face.

"What's with your hair?" Aaron questions as I sit down hastily.

"What's with _your_ hair?" I respond smartly. Never again did Aaron question me.

We speed off towards King's Cross, holding on tightly to our seats.

"Not so crowded back there this year, eh?" my father says, cutting off a huge Mac Truck.

"Uh, yes Dad, but please pay attention!" I say, heart racing.

"Sorry dears," he says, still driving like a maniac.

When we arrive at King's Cross, we have to rush out of the car, get our trunks out of the back, grab trolleys, and run like hell to Platform 9 ¾. Mordecai screeches as we make a hairpin turn around the ticket booth, and we get a lot of odd looks.

"Sorry!" Aaron yells as he runs over some young woman.

Without stopping, we crash right through the barrier onto Platform 9 ¾. The platform is nearly empty, except for parents waving their kids goodbye.

"This way!" my father directs, taking us to the luggage compartment.

"Get on! Get on!" my mother yells, opening a door for us just as the final whistle sounds. We jump on just in time.

"Bye Mum!" I yell out the window, waving at both of my parents. "Bye Dad!"

"Write a lot, you two!" my mother yells.

"Have a good year!" yells my father.

When the train makes the bend, they disappear.

"Well that was a trip from hell," Aaron mutters, running a hand through his black hair.

"I know," I say, wiping away some sweat from my brow. "I need a nap."

"Me too," Aaron says, chuckling. "Let's go find our compartments."

So, we set off down the train, and it doesn't take long for Aaron to find some of his friends.

"See ya, Tonks!" he says, ruffling my purple hair.

"See you later, Aaron!" I say, and continue down the train. I know the boys have to be around here somewhere.

"Hey! Chickadee, down here!" I hear someone yell. I know it has to be Sirius.

"Hey!" I respond, turning around to see him and James coming towards me.

"There you are!" James says, reaching me and pulling me into a huge hug.

"Glad to see you too," I say as he squeezes me, lifting me off the ground. "Can't. Breathe."

"Oh," he says, releasing me. "Sorry!"

"It's fine," I say, smiling. "And here's my other best friend."

"Hey chickadee," he says, hugging me as well. "How was your summer?"

"Great!" I say, smiling. "Yours?"

"Fantastic as usual," he replies, smirking.

"So… where's-"

"Remus?" Sirius cuts me off.

"Yeah," I admit, blushing.

"How'd I know?" he says, chuckling.

"Down here, at our compartment," James explains.

"Why were you two up there if your compartment is down here?" I ask.

"We were paying a little visit to Snivellus," Sirius explains, leading me down the corridor to our compartment.

"And why?" I question, knowing this wasn't going to be good.

"Oh, we so missed him over the summer," James explains, smirking. "We had to start the year off with a bang."

"Oh no," I say. "I don't like the sound of this."

"Literally."

"You what?" I exclaim.

"We set a dung bomb off in his compartment," Sirius explains.

"Yes, but we had to make sure my beautiful Lily was far away from there," James adds.

"Of course," I mutter. "Typical."

"So, I offered to buy her some chocolate frogs," James continues. "She refused."

"So he forcibly took her to the candy cart and bought her a chocolate frog," Sirius says, laughing.

"I did not _forcibly _take her!" James exclaims.

"You grabbed her arm and dragged her there!" Sirius argues back.

"Okay, maybe I did," he admits. "But as Remus and Tonks are destined for each other, Lily and I are destined for each other!"

"What?" I exclaim, turning red.

"Only joking, Mum, calm down," James says, laughing with Sirius.

"Tonks?" I hear someone ask. A brown-haired head pokes out of a compartment ahead. I stop. "Is that you?"

It's Remus. Our eyes meet and my heart starts beating a million miles an hour.

"What happened to your-" but he can't finish his sentence because my lips have met his.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Dear God, if I was any slower, I'd be going backwards!

I'm so sorry guys! This chapter is sooo late for me! I had a huge test at the hospital yesterday (I had to swallow a camera, it was blinking when I swallowed it! And I had to wear a monitor that I carried around! I felt like Iron Man with his car battery! LOL)

But, good news, they think I'm healthy! Other good news: I just got a call from my dad, and I'm going to be an extra in a movie! So for the next few days, I'll be busy shooting (I have to shoot from 7pm to 1am one night!) so updates will be rare! Sorry guys, but I'm super excited! :D

Hope your guys summer is good! Mine is!

Please review! I love reviews! 3

xoxo


	48. Chapter 47

"_Love is like the wind, you can't see it but you can feel it." ― Nicholas Sparks_

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Remus's POV* _

"What happened to your-" I start, but am cut off by her flinging herself at me and kissing me full on the lips. I immediately wrap an arm around her waist and pull her closer while my fingers get lost in her vibrant purple hair. Her arms tighten around my neck as she deepens the kiss, and I follow suit. Around us, I can hear catcalls and whistles, but I just ignore them. I have her in my arms once and for all, and I'm going to appreciate every second of it.

"Guys, you can stop now," I hear Sirius's voice break into my consciousness.

"Hey, get a room!" James's voice yells, too.

"OI! LOVEBIRDS, STOP!" Sirius yells, grabbing the scruff of my neck and Tonks's arm. "Into the compartment… come now."

"Hey!" Tonks protests, but we're shoved into the compartment, which is already occupied by Peter.

"What was that about?" I exclaim just as James shuts the compartment door.

"You guys were getting some pretty odd looks," Sirius explains, acting as if he's holding in a major fit of giggles.

"Yeah, your audience was enjoying it a little too much," James adds, in the same situation as Sirius.

"Go on, let it out," I say dryly as they burst into laughter. While they fall over themselves, I grab Tonks's shoulder and pull her into my arms again. My hand slips gently around her waist and she smiles up at me.

"Okay…." James says, several moments later. "I think I'm done."

"Me too," Sirius says, wiping a tear from his eye.

"What just happened?" Peter asks, raising an eyebrow. "All I heard were cheers and whistles and then Sirius started yelling."

"Let's just say Remus and Tonks got a little feisty in the corridor," Sirius explains, taking a seat opposite Peter.

"They didn't," Peter says in awe.

"Yeah they did," James confirms.

"Hello, we're right here," I say, gesturing me and Tonks.

"This is going to be all over the school by tomorrow morning," James says, sitting next to Sirius. "It'll go down in Hogwarts history! The day Remus Lupin and Nymphadora-"

"Don't call me that!"

"-Tonks finally kissed!"

"We've already kissed!" I say, taking a seat next to Peter, Tonks propped on my knee.

"Yeah, but not publicly," Sirius explains. "That was a great show, by the way."

"Yeah, we know," she says, still blushing madly. I wonder if I look the same way. "I had to. I hadn't seen him all summer and-"

"No, no, no," Sirius cuts her off. "I don't want to know about it!"

"Why not?" she asks.

"Because witnessing it was enough," he explains. "I don't need to know about the inner emotions that were behind it."

"Alright, alright," Tonks says, putting her hands up in defeat. "Just thought you might've been curious."

"Yeah, I think we're good," he says, stretching out on the seat.

"That was enough excitement for one day!" James says, doing the same. "Enough excitement for a whole year, actually."

"That's just the beginning," I murmur into her ear. She turns to me and meets my gaze. Her face is flushed and her big, beautiful, brown eyes are shining with happiness like I've never seen before. I didn't know that was all it took to make her happy. Now, the expression that she's wearing will be all it takes to make me happy. Her happiness is essential to my own and I want her to look like that every day for the rest of her life. I'll do anything to make that happen.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Tonks's POV* _

Several hours later, in the part of the journey where everyone is either sleeping, groggy, or just silent in general, I lay on the floor of the compartment, wrapped in _his_ warm embrace. Sirius and James have stretched out on the left bench of the compartment and Peter has taken the right bench of the compartment; all three fast asleep. Peter's snores are the only sound in my world, aside from the train chugging along on the tracks, and Remus's slow, even breathing.

"What made you do that?" he suddenly whispers in my ear.

"Do what?" I ask, shifting so I can look up at him.

"Kiss me like that," he explains. "It was so sudden, I didn't know what to do."

"I missed you over the summer," I explain. "I wanted to confront you about what you wrote to me in your letter. But, I couldn't. I was too nervous. So, I didn't exactly confront you. I just snogged you."

"Well, it works for me," he chuckles, amber eyes bright and dancing with happiness.

"Did you mean it?" I ask the childish question without thought.

"Mean what, love?" he asks, brushing a hand down my cheek.

"You said you loved me," I explain. He pauses.

"I did," he says. "I meant it with all my heart."

"You're such a cheese ball," I say, chuckling.

"I mean it!" he says, laughing quietly along with me. "It does sound very cheesy, doesn't it?"

"Yes," I say, plating a kiss on his lips. "Very cheesy."

"Sorry," he says, laughing again. He looks away and the light of the slowly setting sun catches his eye and makes it sparkle gold. "But I do love you."

"You mean it?" I ask, nuzzling into his chest.

"Of course," he says. "And, I don't expect you to say it back. I don't want to rush you into anything. We're only fourteen, after all."

"Yeah, we're young," I say. "So what?"

"You're right," he says. "So what."

After that, we lay in silence for a long while, just taking in each other's presence. I couldn't ask for anything more, so I just follow his example.

"Tonks?" he suddenly asks.

"Yes?" I answer, shifting again to meet his face.

"Why didn't you ever answer my letter?" he asks. "I'm not mad, I'm just curious."

"Well…" I explain. "I honestly couldn't decide on what to answer. That's a hard thing to reply to, Remus."

"Yeah," he says, laying his head down on the floor. "I agree. Sorry."

"Don't say sorry," I say, inching up to meet his eyes again. "If you wouldn't have sent that, this wouldn't have happened." I lay another kiss on his lips.

"You're right," he says, smiling contently.

"Well, it would've happened eventually," I say, laying my head back on his chest.

"That's what everyone said," he says, chuckling. "'When are Remus and Tonks going to get together?'"

"You heard that?" I question.

"Well, from a few people," he explains.

"Like who?"

"James and Sirius," he says. "Peter too."

"Anyone else?"

"Eh, a few other people," he says, trailing a hand up and down my back. "Now, get some rest."

"Why?" I whine.

"We have a big week ahead of us," he explains, planting a kiss in my hair. "We're going to have a ton of people on our cases, asking questions."

"Like?"

"'When did you two become a couple?'"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Remus's POV* _

"When did you two become a couple?" Severus Snape sneers at us as we walk hand and hand down a corridor between classes.

"You didn't hear the news, Snivelly?" Sirius taunts, turning back to face the black-haired Slytherin.

"No," Snape spats back.

"Well, you must've been too busy playing with your potions set," James adds, chuckling with Sirius.

"Leave him alone!" we hear for about the billionth time. Lily Evans pushes herself through the crowd to where James and Sirius are facing a sneering Snape. Tonks and I, the instigators of the problem, have been pushed to the back of the gathering crowd.

"Evans!" Sirius exclaims. "Get out of here!"

"Leave him alone, I said!" she says, voice full of malice. The bell rings, but no one makes to leave.

"I can't see!" she mutters to me. I glance around, then spot a bench to our left.

"This way," I say, leading her over to it.

"Hey, we didn't start this, this time!" James says, taking a step closer to the center of the circle of people. Tonks and I now tower above the crowd, standing smartly on the bench.

"Yeah, it was Snivelly's fault!" Sirius exclaims.

"So what?" Lily says, snorting in indignation. "You could've let it go!"

"He was taunting our friends," James says, trying to patch up this little incident. When Lily is involved, he doesn't like for the problem to escalate like this.

"Still, you could've dropped it," she says, hands on her hips, wand in hand, ready to hex anyone in her way.

"What's going on over here?" we suddenly hear down the corridor. Tonks and I jump off the bench as Professor McGonagall wades through the crowd to the center of the circle.

"Nothing, Minnie," Sirius says, charmingly trying to cover up the incident.

"Mr. Black, I already warned you not to call me that," she says, voice ice cold. "And you, Miss Evans, I would've never expected you to be in the middle of a problem like this in the first week of school. For shame."

Lily drops her head and backs into the crowd next to Snape.

"Detention, you three," McGonagall says. James and Sirius make to argue, but are cut off by: "Don't even try to worm your way out of this. Move along, everyone, to your next class!"

Tonks and I wade over to James and Sirius, who look slightly crestfallen.

"Lily will never speak to me again," James mutters, kicking an abandoned quill on the floor.

"Yes, she will," Tonks says, patting his shoulder affectionately.

"Ugh, I hate Snivelly!" Sirius exclaims, going to retrieve his bag. "He taunts you two, then goes off on us!"

"It's fine, Sirius," I say, trying to calm my best mate as I grab my new girlfriend's hand again.

"Well, it's best if we don't stick around here," Peter says, leading the way to Defense Against the Dark Arts.

"Yeah, come on," James says, following suit.

Tonks and I bring up the rear. Yes, it's been an interesting first week. And surely, many more interesting things await us. But, it's all worth it when I have my favorite girl by my side.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Hellooooo!

Hmmm… I don't know if I'm allowed to tell you guys the name of the movie yet! But, I'm just an extra, so I'll tell you guys sooner or later! Maybe in the next update!

The camera actually went into my abdominal region, not my heart! I don't want to get into too much detail, but if you're curious, PM me! I'll explain! (I don't mind at all!)

Hope you guys liked this one! It was so easy for me to write! I don't know why, but I got this done in like, two hours! Wow!

I know I liked this one! Please leave a review and let me know your thoughts! Thanks to all my old and new followers! Its awesome to get reviews like "Ive been reading this all day, I cant stop!" Love you guys! You make my life amazing! (:

xoxo


	49. Chapter 48

"_Love is needing someone. Love is putting up with someone's bad qualities because they somehow complete you." ― Sarah Dessen_

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Tonks's POV*_

Several weeks pass and the James-Lily situation doesn't get any better. Snape continues to be an insufferable prat and James just backfires like any normal human being would. I honestly don't understand why Lily thinks it's such a big deal. She rants about him every night in the dormitory

"James is such a prat."

"James is so ignorant."

"James needs to get his stupid act together before he even _tries_ to talk to me again."

I just lay in my bed, listening to her rant for hours on end (okay, maybe not hours) but honestly, I don't think she even cares that James is my best friend. After a month of this foolishness, she finally catches on to my frustration.

"Tonks, are you even listening?""Wha-?" I ask, pulled out of my daydream one dreary night in early October. "Yeah, I was listening."

"What did I say then?"

"Something about James," I say, thinking that has to be worth a shot.

"Actually, no, I didn't."

"Shit…" I mutter.

"Do you even agree with me?" she questions, still pacing around the dorm. Lydia sits on her own bed, looking just as bored as I am, but for some reason, Lily doesn't decide to pick on her.

"Lils," I say, sitting up into an upright position. "James is my best friend and-"

"I don't understand how you stand him!" she starts ranting again. "He's so immature, and arrogant, and-"

"Lily!" I say, standing up as well. "I have my own reasons to be his best friend!"

"Like what?" she questions harshly. I can feel this is getting out of hand quickly.

"He's funny, nice, understanding, car-"

"To you, maybe, but not to me!" she says, crossing her arms.

"Well, maybe that's why he's my friend and not yours!" I say hotly. "Snape is the only reason he acts that way around you! He provokes him!"

"He does not!" Lily argues back. "Don't you dare go and blame Sev for this!"

"Oh, he doesn't, does he?" I question with an air of fake disbelief. "Then why is it every time I'm in the corridors with James and Sirius-"

"Don't even get me started on Sirius!" Lily shrieks. "He's just as bad!"

"Sirius is my best friend as well!" I say defensively. "Now, do you want to go trash my boyfriend, too?"

"Of course not!" she says. "He's okay."

"What about my other friend, Peter?" I question. How dare she?

"He follows the other two prats around like a fan girl," she remarks. I've had it.

"You know what, Lily?" I say, putting my hands up in defeat. "I'm not going to take it anymore."

"What?" she questions, frowning.

"We obviously don't agree about our friends. I can't take you trash-talking James and Sirius anymore."

"I can't take you standing up for them anymore," she spats back.

"Then, maybe it's best if we're not friends," I say.

"Yeah," she says, contemplating me. "Maybe you're right."

"Good."

"Good."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Remus's POV* _

Comforting a distraught girlfriend is something I am totally not trained for. Dealing with the tears and the depression and the etc, etc, etc, is really starting to wear me out.

"Remus?" she questions drearily. We're laying in our favorite spot under a huge willow tree right on the banks of the Black Lake, her nestled in my arms. The beech tree we usually occupy with the other boys isn't far from here, but this tree offers more privacy.

"Yes, love?" I answer.

"Have you ever felt like this?" she asks, shifting to nuzzle her head deeper into my chest.

"Like what?"

"Like you've lost someone you love," she explains. "Lily was one of my best friends."

"I have," I admit.

"Who?"

"My whole family," I say. "Except for Oliver."

"When you became a… a…"

"Yeah," I say, thinking back to those tough first days. "They all turned their backs on me, especially Kevin. I used to look up to him, admire him even. We used to be so close. Then… it just fell apart."

"I'm sorry," she says. "I didn't know-"

"Don't feel bad about asking me," I say, squeezing her closer to me. "You need someone you can relate to."

"And I can," she says, sounding the slightest bit happier.

"It gets better, love," I say. "And who knows? You and Lily could make up any day now and become friends again."

"She doesn't accept James and Sirius," she says, sighing. "You should've heard the things she was saying about them."

"Well, I'm glad you stayed true to what you believe in," I say, trying my hardest to make her feel better. This is way harder than it sounds. "It would've been easy to take her side and lie about your true feelings for them."

"You sound like my mother," she laughs.

"Hey, I'm trying to cheer you up!" I say. She sits up and looks down at me, smiling.

"Well, it worked," she says, leaning down to kiss me gently. "For now."

"Good," I say, sitting up as well. "I'm glad I can make you happy."

"You always can, love," she says, eyes sparkling with happiness again.

"Always?" I ask, trying to sound flirtatious.

"Always, always, always," she says, leaning in to kiss me again. I suddenly grab her and pull her on top of me as she laughs. I shower her face and neck with a thousand sweet kisses. Her laughter dies down and she nestles her face into the crook of my neck, her hair suddenly a bright bubble-gum pink.

"What happened to your hair?" I ask, grabbing a lock.

"I guess it changes with my mood," she says, leaning up to face me. "I haven't exactly figured it out yet."

"That's interesting," I say, letting it drop back to her side. "So you're happy?"

"No," she says, eyes twinkling. "I'm in love."

I can't possibly answer that with words, so I just put all of my emotions into a kiss; I hope she understands them all. Having her in my arms is a feeling that can't be bought. The joy she brings me is unimaginable. She almost makes me feel normal. _Worthy_ even.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Lily's POV* _

Dear diary,

Even the name _James Potter_ fills me with so many emotions I can't begin to deal with them.

_Anger_ is one of them. That one is the most evident. I can't begin to tolerate his going-ons with that Sirius Black. Tormenting Sev isn't something I would call _fun_ or _funny_ or _entertaining_. Those are all adjectives they've used to describe it to me.

_Disappointment_ is another. He could be so much more than he currently is. He's great at Quidditch, smart, funny (sometimes, I mean rarely), and even… a little attractive. I hate to admit it to myself, but James Potter isn't ugly. He could be the one everyone loves and looks up to in the school. Instead, he chose to be the bully, the one who no one wants to mess with. There could be so much more in store for him, but he just doesn't let it happen.

_Bewilderment. _Sometimes I can't believe his actions. How could anyone be so cruel and nasty? I'm totally shocked every time we meet by his actions. You could never think that one human being could do or say that to another human being. Well, I've made up my mind: James Potter isn't a human being.

This last emotion isn't something I like to admit, even to myself. If you could believe I might actually _fancy_ James Potter, then you are on the same page as me. If I told anyone, they wouldn't believe me. The way I rant about him, the way I act around him; none of that would ever indicate that I fancy him. I don't even know _why_ I fancy him. I mean, as I said before, he is attractive and athletic and witty and charming. But, God, he's so rude! I think about things like this hours and go in endless circles in my head.

He drives me _insane_. Completely BONKERS!

I know he fancies me. Everyone knows he fancies me. But if I ever decided to go on a date with him, God, could you imagine people's reactions? They wouldn't get it, so I just ignore the situation entirely. Then again, I'm not at all pleased by his actions. Then why do I fancy him again?

I need to stop thinking about his.

The situation with Tonks is well… not so good. The spat we had last week totally ruined our friendship. I don't know if we'll be able to pull ourselves back together enough to call each other friends anymore.

I do still care about her. And yes, I bought her a birthday present. Her birthday is next week so I wrote home and asked for a present. I think she'll like it. I don't know exactly how she's taking it. She doesn't seem very happy. I don't know if maybe she and Remus got into fight or something, but I think it's me. Diary, did I tell you they began a relationship? It seemed like a miracle when it happened! Everyone wanted to shout "Well, it's about time!" Even I wanted to! Diary, they are very cute together and I know they'll have a successful relationship.

I don't wish harm on her or anyone. I just want to become friends again. Goodbye for now, Diary.

~Lily Marie Evans

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Hey guys!

First off, I'll give a shout out (and be best friends forever) to whoever can identify my _Rent_ reference! Theatre kids, unite! :D

Secondly, how did you like Lily's diary entry? I know this story is Remus/Tonks, but I know many of you are fans of James/Lily as well! These wont be frequent, but just every once in while to give an update on her and James! Like it? Hate it?

Third, I shot my first scene today! All I did was sit in a classroom and watch as people talked, but you can see my back! Hopefully Saturday and Sunday will bring me more opportunities! It was still a blast and GREAT experience! (:

That's all for now! My cousin will be in all weekend, so no updates for a few days! Waaah :'( Sorry guys! D:

Please review, as always! I LOVEEE me some reviews! :D

Love you all!

xoxo


	50. Chapter 49

"_A book without words is like love without a kiss; it's empty." ― Andrew Wolfe_

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Remus's POV*_

Three full moons pass and it's January. After another Christmas break at James's house, we're back to the castle and back to the usual drama. Tonks and Lily still haven't spoken to one another. James and Sirius continue the war against Snape and all his Slytherin cronies. I battle my lycanthropy and family. And we all are starting to feel as if the teachers are shoving OWLs down our throats, even though they're a year away.

On the other hand, mine and Tonks's relationship has done nothing but grown. She makes me happier than any other thing in my life. When we stay up into the early hours of the morning, cuddling and whispering to one another on a couch in the Gryffindor common room; when she kisses me gently before whispering she loves me; when we skip down the corridors, holding hands and laughing, her laugh as beautiful and clear as a bell; when I bring her outside into the snow and she gets snowflakes caught in her vibrant purple hair and eyelashes, smiling as widely as I've ever seen; even when I'm exhausted after a full moon, she'll stay with me, crooning to me in my sleep, holding me tightly to this world, even though I feel as if I'm inches from slipping away.

Yes, she's the best thing that has ever happened to me.

One night, we're sitting up in the common room, debating about the controversial topic of broomstick regulations ("I think they're completely dumb and unnecessary," she argues. "Well, they're meant to keep people safe! People like you, who without the regulations would be getting themselves in trouble every other day, even though they don't listen to them," I argue back.) All of a sudden, I hear someone yell my name.

"Remus!"

"What?" I call back, frustrated that I was interrupted.

"Remus we need you!" James exclaims, bounding into sight, Sirius and Peter at his heels.

"For what?" I question.

"You know…" James says, giving me a knowing look. At first, I don't understand, but then it hits me. _Animagi_.

"Oh…" I say, standing up. "Alright."

"Hey, where are you going?" she asks, standing up as well.

"I've got to go," I say, turning back around to face her. "I promise I'll be back."

"Promise?" she asks, grabbing my hand and giving me puppy dog eyes.

"I promise, love," I say, leaning over to give her a quick kiss before retreating to the dormitories with the boys.

"We ran into another little problem," James explains as soon as the door to the dorm is closed.

"What is it?" I ask, sitting on my bed.

"Well…." Sirius starts. "We've found that the transformations are leaving behind… abnormalities."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, exhibit A would be the patches of black fur on Sirius's upper thigh and on his feet," James says, motioning to Sirius who shows me the two dark patches of fur in the spots James indicated.

"That's weird," I say, getting up to examine them closer.

"Exhibit B would be the stubby horns on James's head," Peter picks up where James left off. James parts his hair and sure enough, there are two little stubby horns sticking out of his head.

"Holy shit!" I exclaim, surprised by this. It's not something you see everyday.

"I know! It's creepy, right?" James agrees, fixing his hair back to hide his horns.

"And exhibit C would be Peter's padded feet and nose spasms," Sirius finishes. Peter removes his shoes to reveal the bottoms of his feet that are padded like an animal's. I then notice his weird nose twitches, so similar to a rat it's scary.

"This is bizarre," I say staring at my three friends as they try to cover up their abnormalities again.

"I know!" Sirius exclaims. "And we have no idea what to do about it!"

"We need to get in the restricted section," James explains. "We got in there once in second year because we caught Minnie when she was really busy and we told her she forgot to sign our detention slip. She didn't look twice."

"That was brilliant," I comment, smiling slightly.

"Anyways, we need to get another professor's signature," Peter says. "And we don't think the trick on McGonagall will work again."

"So…" I say, finally understanding the real reason they needed me. "You need me to get a slip signed so you can get a book out?"

"Pretty much," James says. "This is all for you, mate. It would mean the world to us if you could get it. I don't want to have horns for the rest of my life." He holds out a slip of paper. I look at it reproachfully for a minute before taking it.

"Fine," I mutter, examining it. "But how do I get a teacher to sign it?"

"Get ol' Sluggy to sign it for you," Sirius suggests. "He loves you."

"Well, that's only because I actually do well in his class," I admit, chuckling. I think about it for a moment. "Okay I'll go ask him."

"Really?" James asks, face lighting up. "You'll do that for us?"

"Sure," I say. "Like you said, this is all being done for me."

"Thank you so much, mate!" Sirius says, walking over to me and slapping me on the back happily.

"I'll be back in 15 minutes," I say, then sweep from the dorm.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Tonks's POV*_

"Hey where're you going?" I ask as I watch my boyfriend stalk right past me in the common room, heading for the portrait hole.

"Oh, Tonks," he says, slowly turning around. "I'm, uhh, going to see Professor Slughorn."

"Why?" I ask, standing up from my spot in my favorite squashy armchair.

"I need to ask him about… the homework," he says, brain obviously working fast to come up with a good lie. I've known him long enough to know when he's lying.

"You've already finished the homework, Remus," I say, placing my hands on my hips.

"I know," he says. "I wanted to see if there was any extra credit on it."

"Oh," I say, thinking he might not have been lying. "Are you lying to me?"

"No, love, why would I do that?" he says, stepping into me and wrapping his arms around my waist. "When I come back, I'll come sit with you, okay?"

"Alright," I mutter, releasing him. Even if he _is_ lying, I'll just let it go. "Have fun."

"Oh, I will," he mutters before he turns and walks out of the portrait hole.

I turn around and throw myself back into my armchair, curling into a little ball, my arms wrapped around my knees. Snow falls heavily outside the castle windows and the common room is filled with students. I think back to the last time the common room looked like this. I remember it was right after the first Christmas break at James's house, when Remus slept by my side every night. Now that I think about it, I wish he could do that here. Even when we take a nap on the couch together, I feel better in his arms than I do in my own bed.

"Hey Tonksie," I hear Sirius call, pulling me from my thoughts.

"Hey," I say, craning my neck to see them strolling towards me. "Why did you steal my boyfriend?"

"We didn't steal him, we simply _borrowed_ him," Sirius says, chuckling.

"Oh, well that makes it all better," I mutter sarcastically. "I would like him back, please."

"Sorry, he's on an errand," James says, taking a seat next to me.

"For you, I assume," I say.

"Yeah, you're right," James admits.

"Does it have to do with Snivellus?"

"Nope," Sirius says. "Surprisingly."

"He said he was going to see Slughorn."

"Well, he wasn't lying," James says, breaking out the old Muggle sports magazine.

"Why was he going to see him?" I ask, curious as to what they're making my boyfriend do this time.

"That's confidential," Sirius says, peering over James's shoulder at the magazine.

"Come on," I say, trying to coax them into telling me. "Tell me."

"You'll know sooner or later," Peter says.

"Ugh," I huff. "This is exactly like when you knew about his 'furry little problem' and wouldn't tell me!"

"Yeah," James laughs. "It is!"

"I love it when Tonks is clueless," Sirius mutters, laughing as well.

"Hey!"

"Well, we always do seem to know more than you," James says, catching my eye and winking.

"Whatever," I say, flinging myself back into my seat. "I'll get him to tell me."

"And how do you think you'll go about doing that?" Sirius asks.

I think about it for a moment.

"I have my ways."

"Oh God, Tonks," James says, making a repulsed face. "That better not mean what I think it means."

"Maybe," I mutter, chuckling, having fun with this.

"Oh no," Sirius says, making a face as well. "You better not be-"

"I'm only joking, geez!" I exclaim. "I cant believe you think so low of me!"

"Well…." James says, going back to his magazine.

"Thanks guys," I mutter, half smiling.

"Welcome, babe," Sirius says, full blown Sirius-charm on.

"Alright," I hear Remus says as he climbs through the portrait hole. "I got it."

"Got what?" I ask, standing up to face his approaching figure. He looks wide-eyed at James and Sirius.

"A note," he says, handing a folded up piece of paper to James, who looks at it, smiles, then pockets it.

"For what?"

"Getting a book out of the restricted section," James says.

"Why do you need that?"

"Okay, we were just joking with you earlier," Sirius says, smiling over at me. "We just need it for a project Minnie is having us do because of our stupid ass 'multiple detentions.' Apparently, if you get so many detentions, you have to do a project or some shit."

"Oh," I say, blushing at my ignorance.

"Yeah, that's all," James says. "And we knew Slughorn would sign it for Remus, so we got him to ask Sluggy to sign it."

"Oh," I repeat.

"Yeah, don't worry, love," Remus says, grabbing my hand and pulling me over to the couch where he cradles me in his lap.

"Alright," I say, defeated. "You win."

I still think there's something fishy going on, but I leave it be. I'll know soon enough. For now, all I need is some sleep. So, I nestle my head into Remus's chest and close my eyes. He tightens his grip on me and shifts so I'm more comfortable. Truth be told, I couldn't be more comfortable any where but in his arms.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Hey guys! I guess I have some explaining to do!

So, last week I went on vacation (outer banks, oh yeah!) and I couldn't write there. But before that, I was packing and going to a musical theatre camp and more packing and ugh! I was just so busy! I meant to put that I was going on vacation in a chapter before I left, but I never got around to it… so you all probably thought I'd died or something! D: Well, here I am! And alive!

I actually have a major show on Friday (All shook up, if anyone knows, I'm playing Lorraine) and I'm kind of stressing about that! And I have to prep for an audition in new York and it's all scary! So updates might be few and far between for a while! Wish me luck, ill need it! D:

Thanks so much guys! I always say I love you guys and I really do! Have a lovely lovely lovely week! :D

Please leave a review, as always! Reviews make me feel better! :D

xoxo

PS: No one got my Rent reference? It was "a thousand sweet kisses!" Yanno the song? Okay just me? Got it… musical theatre kid problems, LOL


	51. Chapter 50

"_How do you spell 'love'?" - Piglet"You don't spell it...you feel it." - Pooh" ― A.A. Milne_

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Remus's POV*_

So, it turns out that James, Sirius, and Peter had been saying the incantation incorrectly. Just one syllable was off, so it messed up the whole process. Now equipped with this new piece of knowledge, they dive head first into the final stages of this long process. I barely ever see them since they're locked up in the dorm all day. Of course, I could be with them, but who would choose a stuffy room full of frustration and the smell of animals over a pretty girl?

Even the war against Snape seems to come to screeching halt as the boys try desperately to figure out the mystery of becoming animagi. They're too tired to say anything to him in the corridor, too busy to go seek him out during break, and too mentally drained to come up with any new pranks! It's so unlike them, one morning I asked if they were feeling alright.

"I'm worried about them," Tonks says one lazy afternoon in April on the banks of the Black Lake.

"Who?" I ask, emerging from behind a novel.

"The boys," she says, tucking a lock of blonde hair behind her ear. For some reason, she's been wearing her hair in normal colors lately. I can't quite seem to understand why, but it worries me nonetheless.

"I'm worried about you," I say, propping myself up on one elbow.

"Why?" she asks, turning to face me. A breeze lazily brushes her hair in her face.

"Why has your hair been normal?" I ask, tucking it back behind her ear.

"Is there a problem with that?"

"No," I say, not wanting to upset her. "I just find it strange."

She turns away and stares across the lake. Dozens of other students mill around the banks, doing homework, reading, chatting. She watches as Scarlet does cartwheels for a group of boys.

"I'm not like her," she states.

"What?" I ask, baffled.

"I'm not… that kind of girl."

"A whore?"

"I guess you could say that," she says, a small smile playing on her lips.

"What do you mean?"

"I'm not…. chased around by boys all the time. I don't wear shirts with a super low neckline. I don't wear tight clothes all the time. I don't have… her figure."

"Tonks…" I start. Holy shit, this was NOT my territory. A teenage girl's insecurities. I wish I had Oliver with me.

_Okay Lupin… just… compliment her? Make her feel beautiful. Well, obviously she _is_ beautiful! And most of all… stay cool! _

"Tonks, you do know you're ten times more beautiful than any girl in this school," I say. Was that the right thing to say?

"Well, _you_ think so," she says, looking down into the grass.

"You know I do," I say.

"I just… oh never mind."

"Sweetheart," I say, grabbing her hand. "You don't want to be like her. She has nothing to offer but… well you know. You have so much more. You're gorgeous. You make me laugh. You care about people. You know all the lyrics to any Muggle rock band song. You're incredibly smart. You like to transfigure fruit at breakfast and make it sing love songs to Sirius. You have a great personality. Need I say more?"

And with that, she throws herself at me and buries her face into my shoulder.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Tonks's POV* _

"Okay… Truth or dare?"

"Hmm.. Truth."

"If you were going to live in an alternate universe, and you could bring 10 items, people included, what and or who would you bring?"

"Tonks, what kind of question is that?"

"A good one!"

He laughs the laugh that always makes my stomach flutter.

"Alright well," he starts, pondering this question. "You, obviously. Oliver. James. Sirius. Peter. My wand. A broomstick. My book collection, that counts as one thing right?"

"Sure."

"Ummm… I cant think of anything else!"

"You wouldn't bring food or water?" I ask incredulously.

"Oh…. Well then, food and water! That's ten!"

"Good!" I laugh. "See, that was a great question!"

Ever since that day on the banks of the black lake, I've been feeling much better. You see, the whole thing escalated from that morning when Scarlet was boasting about her jeans which were a 00. Now, I'm not usually one to give a shit about any of that, but for some reason, she had directed this at me.

I'll admit I'm not that small. I haven't really given any thought to it before then, but at that moment, I realized how little she was, and how big I was. Now, maybe I blew it out of proportion, but being a 14 year girl would make anyone think like that. I looked in the mirror at my fuller figure and sighed. I didn't even have Lily to back me up. She just threw an awkward glance my way and continued on with her day. Lily wouldn't understand me anyways. She's as little as Scarlet.

Remus was my rock. He made me feel better that day. He made me feel beautiful.

Even now, a few days later, the euphoria from Remus's comment hadn't worn off. This was why we were meant for each other. We made each other feel special. We made each other feel wanted. I couldn't ask for anything more.

"I love you," I whisper later that night in the common room.

"I love you more," he whispers back.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Lily's POV*_

It was just one of those days.

"Oi Nymphadora," I hear her taunt from across the dorm. I clench my teeth and turn away, not wanting to get involved.

"How many times have I told you not to call me that?" she responds, and it sounds like her teeth are clenched as well.

"About a dozen," Scarlet answers, voice full of ice. "Maybe more."

"What is it?"

"Gosh, no need to sound so mean," she responds in a sickenly sweet tone. "I was just wondering how you and your…. boyfriend are."

"Why say it like that?" Tonks asks. I turn around and see her standing at the foot of her bed, hair slowly turning fire engine red. This was not going to be pretty.

"Well I mean," Scarlet answers. "All you seem to do is take care of him when he's 'sick.' I would say you're more of a caregiver."

"What ridiculous nonsense," Tonks answers, the dirtiest look on her face.

"Does he know?" Scarlet answers, slinking over to Tonks's bed like a deadly panther. "Does he know you only 'love' him because you feel bad for him? Well, now that I think about it, why would he like you anyway?"

"I don't understand you Scarlet," she mutters, turning away and gripping the bedpost with white knuckles.

"What's there not to understand?"

"Everything," I butt in. "Why you feel the need to put others down just so you don't have to feel so bad about yourself. You only taunt Tonks because you're a jealous bitch. You wish you had HALF of what she has! She's stunning, and hilarious, and has a wonderful relationship with a boyfriend who loves her! Guys only like you because you're easy! Yeah, that's right, you're a whore! So, go taunt someone else! Leave Tonks alone!"

The whole dorm goes silent as what I said sinks in. I cannot believe what just happened. Did I really say all of that? Am I really capable of saying that? Wow, I had no idea.

"You…" Scarlet starts, shaking with anger. "You… will pay."

"Don't you dare touch her," Tonks says, stepping in front of me. "You won't lay a finger on my best friend."

With this, all hard feelings are gone between me and Tonks. With one glance, we lock eyes and become a team with one goal: defeat Scarlet.

"Oh, and you think you're gonna scare me away are you? You little-"

"OI! TONKS! WHAT'S GOING ON UP THERE?" I hear Potter call up the stairs. I roll my eyes.

"NOTHING!" she yells back. "ILL BE DOWN IN A MINUTE."

"You're lucky," Scarlet says quietly as she sweeps past me and out of the dorm, May at her heels.

"Oh… my God," Tonks says, throwing herself onto her bed. "That did not just happen."

"I think it did," I say, sitting down as well.

"That… was awesome!" she says, sitting up with excited eyes and a glowing smile. "Kudos to you, my friend!"

"Friends?" I ask.

"Definitely!" Tonks gushes. "After what you just did, how can you not be?"

"I don't know," I say, smiling.

"Thanks so much, Lilykins!" she says, jumping out of bed to hug me.

"You're welcome, Tonks," I say, hugging her back, thrilled to have her as a friend again.

Later that night while I'm lying in bed, I start to wonder why I was even mad at Tonks in the first place? Was I a little jealous of her relationship with James? Was I? Well, whatever the reason was, it's not a reason anymore. Now that I think about it, the whole thing was quite silly.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Okay. I'll slap my own hand for not updating D:

Show went well! Such a fun show! :D

Alrighty, I have no idea how I feel about this chapter. Here's my reasoning:

In every fanfic I read about Tonks, she's always portrayed as a pixie who's short and has no weight on her whatsoever. Well, what if she wasn't exactly that figure? Every teenage girl has insecurities right? And Tonks is no exception! So before I get all reviews that say OOC, just take this into consideration!

Also, is the Lily/Tonks fight and make up too random? For some reason, I feel as if it was just random and irrelevant to the story… maybe I'm just beating myself up! Reviews please! This may get rewritten! D:

Also, thanks so much to my friend AzNeRd who helped me be sure I was going in the right direction! :D

Review review review! Every review is giving me a slap in the face for not updating! LOL *thumbs up*

Thanks for staying faithful to me! Love you all! (:

xoxo

Ps, WOO 50 chapters! Where has the time gone? ;D


	52. Chapter 51

_If you're willing to chase me, I promise I'll run slow. -unknown _

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Tonks's POV* _

"It's time for the ball again already?" Lily questions one morning in May on our way to breakfast. "It seems as if it was just yesterday."

"I know," I say, pushing past a group of 2nd years to read the notice board. "Time goes faster as you get older, I swear."

There, pinned on the corkboard as it was last year, is the bright yellow flyer advertising the end of year ball. I sigh heavily. Has it been a year already?

"I assume you'll be going with Bennett?" Lily asks Lydia casually. Bennett and Lydia have been together since the ball last year.

"Of course," Lydia answers. I turn around and she's blushing.

"Oh, don't be embarrassed," I smile. "You guys are cute together."

"Thanks," she mutters. "You'll go with Remus?"

"I hope so," I say, turning back around to examine the date of the event. The 20th of June. Ever since Remus and I had started dating, I've been keeping track of full moons. Off the top of my head I can't remember whether or not the 20th is a full moon, but it's definitely close.

"Why couldn't he come last year?" Lydia asks. I clench my jaw and take a deep breath.

"He didn't want to," I lie.

"Why not?" she asks. I hate having to make up lies.

"Dunno," I say, turning and stalking over to a couch. "You'll have to ask him."

With this, Lily and Lydia exchange looks then tell me they're going off to breakfast. I sigh and pick at a loose thread in the couch's flowery design. I don't like having to lie to anyone, much less to two of my best friends about my boyfriend. But I can't mope around for long, as the boys' grand entrance to the common room grabs my attention. Any yes, their entrances are always grand, Sirius makes sure of that.

"Mornin' Tonksie!" Sirius greets me, walking over.

"Mornin' you lot," I mutter, standing up.

"Morning beautiful," Remus says, pulling me into his arms and giving me a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Ugh," James says. "You two are disgusting."

"Get a room," Sirius mutters, laughing along with James.

"Oh, you're just jealous because you're both single," Remus says, grabbing my hand.

"Oh ho," Sirius says, looking at something slightly to the right of my head. "Not for long!"

"What are you talking about?" Remus asks, turning around to see what he's looking at.

"The ball is coming up!" James exclaims, rushing over to get a closer look at the flyer.

"Really?" Remus asks, following them, dragging me along with him.

"Yeah!" Sirius exclaims, hastily scanning it. "The 20th!"

"Is that a good day for…. yanno?" James asks quietly. Remus frowns.

"Well…." he starts. My heart sinks. Not for the second year in a row!

"It's not good, is it?" Peter says.

"It's the day after!" Remus whispers excitedly.

"So, you can go?!" I ask, gushing with excitement.

"Yeah, as long as I'm not too beat up and Madam Pomfrey allows it!" he explains, beaming from ear to ear.

"Oh my god!" I exclaim, throwing my arms around his neck and squealing with excitement.

"Calm down, babe," he mutters, rubbing my back in slow circles.

"I'm sorry!" I mutter, releasing him. "I'm just excited."

"We can tell," James mutters sarcastically.

"Oh, shut up James," I say.

"You know I never shut up," he answers, chuckling. Remus grabs my hand again.

"Come on," Sirius says. "Let's go get breakfast, I'm _starving_."

"You're always starving!"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_*James's POV*_

_She can't reject me two years in a row. _

Stalking down the hall with my usual swagger, I'm mentally pumping myself up for what's about to occur. I'm on my way to the library, a favorite hiding place of the beautiful Lily Marie Evans.

It's a few days after the flyer was posted in Gryffindor common room. She has to have seen it by now. And it's just early enough that she probably hasn't been asked yet. This is the prime time to ask a girl to the ball if you ask me, and I'm always right.

"Seen Lily Evans anywhere?" I ask a cute Ravenclaw in our year. She smirks then points over to the History section. "Thank you kindly." I give her a wink.

Going in the direction the girl had pointed, I round a corner and see her seated at a table surrounded by books. The way the setting sun hits her fiery red hair makes me melt inside; her pale skin seems to glow; her emerald eyes sparkle.

_Focus Potter._

"Hey," I say, taking a few steps closer to her, turning on my usual _I'm-the-Gryffindor-Seeker-and-Captain_ charm. She freezes.

"Potter?" she asks, turning around in her seat to face me.

"Yeah," I say, suddenly becoming nervous. "James Alexander."

"Cute," she mutters, sneering at me sarcastically. I sigh.

"Oh…kay," I breathe. "So, I was wondering-"

"How did I know you would be asking me to the dance?"

"What?"

"I knew you were going to ask me to the dance."

"How?"

"You're predictable."

I stop and think for a moment.

"So… whaddya say?" I run my hands through my hair.

"No."

"Why not?!"

"I already have a date, Potter," she mutters, and starts to pack up all her stuff.

"What?!" I exclaim, rushing around to the other side of the table. "Who?!"

"That's private."

"Awwe come on, Evans!" I beg.

"If you would call me by my actual name, maybe I would consider telling you."

"Okay," I say, straightening up. "Lily Marie Elizabeth Evans, please tell me who is accompanying you to the ball."

She freezes, then looks up at me curiously.

"You've done your research."

"Damn right, I have!"

"For your information, I'm going with Dean Jackson."

"_Dean Jackson_?!"

"Yes!"

"You mean the beater on my team?!"

"Yes!"

"Oh God…." I mutter, running a hand down my face. _Oh he's going to pay for this next year in practice. 20 laps… yeah that's a fair punishment. _

"He's pretty talented, isn't he?" she gushes, standing up and shouldering her bag.

"Whatever."

"Have a nice night," she mutters, sweeping past me and out of the library.

"But, Lily!"

"Goodnight Potter!"

I sigh and slide down the bookcase into a sitting position.

_Yeah. She can reject me two years in a row._

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Sirius's POV*_

Comforting James after yet _another_ rejection by Lily isn't an easy feat. It takes many rounds of butterbeer and late nights of prank planning to pull him out of his depression. But as soon as I have some free time, I start concentrating on finding a date.

How can the great Sirius Black go to the ball without a date? That would be unheard of! Tonks is obviously out of the question; she's going with Remus. So, who should I ask? Well, my answer comes to me in the nice little form of a blonde hottie named Scarlet.

I've noticed her before, but never really talked to her. I've heard Tonks complain about her many a times, but who cares? Maybe she'll be nice to me. You never know until you try, and believe me, I'm gonna try!

So, without even telling James, I seek her out during break about a week after the big rejection. I've heard she likes to hang out on the banks of the Black Lake with her friend May on days like this one: sunny, warm, not a cloud in the sky. My sources weren't lying, as I find her wading in the shallows the lake.

"Oi! Scarlet!" I call from the banks. They both turn around and glare at me. I motion her to come here. Unfortunately, her friend comes too.

"Yes?" she asks in a silky voice when she reaches the shore.

"I was wondering if I could have a word with you," I say.

"Sure," she says, blushing. She looks at her friend. "I'll be right back, May."

I lead her a little ways off then turn to face her.

"So…." I start. A breeze blows her bleach blonde hair around in her face. "Do you have a date to the ball?"

"Oh believe me, you're not the first to have asked."

"But, have you said yes to anyone?" I ask.

"Well… yeah."

"Oh…"

"Why?"

"I was going to ask you to come with me."

"Oh!" she exclaims, face lighting up. "Well, in that case, I'll just tell him I've changed my mind."

"What?!"

"I would much rather go with you," she says in a soft, seductive voice. It takes me a minute to remember why I'm here.

"Oh… good then," I mutter.

"Yeah," she flirts. "I'll, uh, see you then."

"See you then."

She starts to walk off.

"Wait!"

"Yes?" she turns back around.

"Does, uh… May have a date?"

"No," she says, cocking an eyebrow.

"Would she like to go with my mate James?"

"I'll ask her," she winks. "Goodbye now."

"Bye bye," I mutter, already fantasying about the night of the ball.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Hey guys! Yay, I updated!

So I'm glad you guys liked the last chapter! I'm still kind of nervous about it! D:

I like this one! Tell me what you think! :D

Pleaseeeee review!

xoxo


	53. Chapter 52

_"A lawful kiss is never worth a stolen one." -Guy De Maupassant_

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Tonks's POV*_

"_That_'_s_ your dress?"

Lily and Lydia stand in awe at the foot of my bed, jaws dropped, staring at my dress for the ball.

"Yeah… my mum sent it to me," I explain, in awe myself at the beauty of this dress.

It's a long, dark purple dress that's fitted to right below the bum and then flares out in different pick ups and waves. The top has no straps and beading around the neckline. It's the most beautiful dress I'd ever seen.

"This is gorgeous, Nymph," Lily says, fingering the satin fabric. "Why did she send it?"

"It came with this," I say, handing her the letter from my mother.

_Nymphadora,_

_You're probably wondering why I sent you this dress. Well, your father got promoted at work and we decided we wanted to reward you for having such a good school year. We're so proud of you Nymphadora. You're a good student, responsible, respectful. You deserve this. Have a wonderful night with Remus and your friends. _

_Love, Mummy and Daddy_

"That's amazing," Lydia says, staring hungrily at it.

"Yeah," I mutter. "Well now that's one less person we have to worry about in Hogsmede."

"Yeah," Lily agrees, finally tearing her eyes off my dress to go check her bag on her bed. "My mother sent me money this morning."

"Good," I say. "We'll have a good time!"

"Obviously," Lydia says, smiling.

The situation in the dorm has gotten so much better. Lily, Lydia, and I are closer than we ever have been before and Lily has stopped the nonsense of complaining about James night and day. The whole dorm is more peaceful and just a better environment. It makes me confident that we can live harmoniously for three more years.

"Do you know who the other boys are going with?" Lydia asks, wandering back to her bed as well.

"No," I admit. "I knew Sirius said he was going to ask someone, but he wouldn't tell me who, the jerk."

Lily and Lydia snigger.

"James… well you all know James's first pick."

Lily blushes.

"So, I don't know exactly what his plans are now. I don't think he has any. Peter… well. He'll probably follow James and Sirius around all night."

"Poor chap," Lily muses. "He'll probably never get a date."

"I think that sometimes, too," I admit. "He's extremely friendly once you get to know him, he's just shy."

"I figured," Lily says.

"TONKSIE!" I hear Sirius bellow up the stairs. "GET YOUR ARSE DOWNSTAIRS NOW!"

"Do they always call you like that?" Lily asks, chuckling.

"Pretty much," I mutter, getting up and grabbing my bag. "Sorry to have to leave, but Sirius will keep shouting until I go downstairs."

"It's fine, just go have fun," Lily says.

"Thanks Lils," I gush, then sweep from the dorm, down the stairs and into the common room.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Sirius's POV*_

"What do you want?" she asks, marching across the common room towards us.

"No need to sound so mean, chickadee," I chuckle.

"Sorry," she says, blushing. "I was just-"

"Oh, it doesn't matter. I'm mean all the time," James says, waving a hand in her direction. "I want to know why you've summoned us all here, Sirius."

Tonks looks apprehensively at the four of us, then wanders over to Remus and takes a seat in his lap. I blush.

"Anyways," I say. "First thing's first. I got you a date Jamesie."

"What?!" he exclaims. "Who?!"

"That May girl from Tonks's dorm."

"What?!" Tonks exclaims, snorting "She's a total slag!"

"Slag or not a slag, she's attractive," James muses. "Thanks mate!"

"Anytime!" I say as she slaps me on the back as a way of saying thanks.

"I cant believe you two," she says, rolling her eyes. "Going out with a girl just because she's pretty."

"Well, that's how I decide on my dates," I say, chuckling at her ignorance.

"Yeah, well," she says, rolling her eyes, laying her head on Remus's shoulder, who's been silent the whole time.

"Got anything to say, Moony?" I ask.

"Not really," he mutters, running a free hand down his face.

"You feeling okay?" she asks, sitting up to face him with concern in her eyes.

"You know," he says, referring to the full moon.

"Oh…" she says, nuzzling her head into his shoulder. "I'm sorry, sweetheart."

"Nothing to be sorry about," he mutters, laying his head back against the couch, tracing small circles on her back in a comforting way. We sit in silence for a moment, then I clear my throat.

"Next order of business is, well… I've found myself a date, too," I announce, trying to break the awkward silence.

"Who?" Peter asks.

"Scarlet White," I say, a smile curling on my lips. Tonks immediately sits up, jaw dropped.

"You're going to the ball with _Scarlet_?!" she questions.

"Yeah!" I say, nodding my head.

"She is a terrible, terrible person," Tonks says, standing up.

"Tonks, it's not like I'm going to marry her!" I argue, standing up as well.

"Yeah, but still!" she says, expression growing angrier every second. "You don't realize what a slag she really is! She has no respect for herself, or anyone else for that matter!"

"Tonks, she's just a pretty face for me to bring to the dance," I explain, trying to calm her tantrum.

"That's ridiculous!"

"No, it's not."

"Sirius, how could you-"

"ENOUGH!" I hear Remus exclaim. "This is too much. Stop arguing like first years!"

"Remus, you've heard all the stories about Scar-"

"I know I have. I understand she's not a very nice person. But you cant be doing this right here, right now," he says, laying a hand over his eyes.

At first, I am confused, then I realized our shouting must have been irritating Remus since he's feeling ill from the full moon.

"Oh my gosh…" she says, rushing over to him. "I'm so sorry."

"Remus, mate," I start, blushing. "Sorry."

"It's fine, just don't do it again," he says, sighing. "Tonks, take me up to the dorm please."

"Sure, sweetheart." And they leave.

"Woooo…" James says, letting out a breath. "That was intense, mate."

"I don't see why it's such a bad thing!" I exclaim.

"Well, we _do_ know Scarlet treats Tonks like shit," Peter pips up.

"Well…" I start, searching for a counterargument, but I come up short.

"Mate, maybe you should look at it from Tonks's perspective," James suggests. "There's this girl that you absolutely hate, and all of a sudden, one of your best mates decides to bring her to the ball with him. Now, this girl isn't just mean to you, she puts you down constantly, she makes you feel like nothing. She's just a bitch."

I stay silent. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea.

"I cant just tell her I'm not bringing her anymore," I say, exasperated.

"I know," James says, standing up to pat me on the shoulder. "Just think it through next time, okay?"

"Okay," I agree. Downtrodden, I sit down. "But she is a gem, though."

"I don't disagree," James muses. "May is too."

"Yeah," I say, spirits starting to rise a little bit. "I bet they're gonna look really good."

"I bet," James says, fantasizing with me as well. "But Evans is gonna look better."

I snort.

"Leave me be," he says. "I'm happy."

"Okay," I mutter, chortling to myself, realizing that although Tonks is angry with me, this wasn't such a bad idea.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Remus's POV*_

The feeling a few days before the full moon is only comparable to having the flu, but a million times worse. Your whole body aches, your head pounds, you feel as if you're about to throw up, but you never do. Your vision is cloudy, loud noises hurt, and above all, everyone and everything is a bother.

"Here you go, darling," she croons, helping me lay down in my four-poster.

"Thank you," I mutter, pulling the covers up to shoulders; I'm shivering.

"Are you cold?" she asks, concerned.

"I'm always freezing, or burning up," I explain. "At the moment, I'm an icicle. In a few minutes, I'll be on fire."

Her expression softens as she climbs into bed next to me. My heart starts racing.

"I just want you to never have to deal with this again," she whispers, chin on my shoulder, looking at me. Now, if I didn't feel as if I was about to die, this situation would have been golden.

"Thank you sweetheart," I muster before letting my eyes close.

"Just go to sleep," she croons. "I wont leave you."

She lays her head on my chest, snuggling up very close next to me. The last thing I remember before falling asleep, is her starting to snore.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Hola!

Yeah… I think all you guys are accustomed to me not updating for a while, no? So incredibly sorry about that! D: I feel terrible every time a day passes and I haven't updated!

So, I just started school again (doesn't it feel as if I was just celebrating it being out?) so I've been busy, going to school, going to bed early, etc etc. I'm sure most of you understand! :D

But I would really appreciate a review! Reviews make me smile! Thanks guys! Hope to be updating in a few days! :D

Have a lovely weekend!

xoxo


	54. Chapter 53

_I think you end up doing the stuff you were supposed to do at the time you were supposed to do it. -Robert Downey Jr. _

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Tonks's POV*_

The morning of the trip to Hogsmede dawns unseasonably chilly and dark. The grey clouds hang low in the sky, ready to open up and drench us all in a second.

"This weather sucks," I complain as we pull on hoodies and scarves in the dorm.

"I know," Lily agrees. "Way to spoil our day."

Lydia snorts and continues with her make up. I throw my bag over my shoulder and take a look in the mirror.

"Maybe I shouldn't be wearing these pants," I muse, glancing down at my jean shorts.

"Yeah, I considered throwing a pair of jeans on, too," Lily says.

"Nah," I say, walking away from the mirror. "I'll be fine."

Five minutes later, we've finally gotten ready and are heading down the stairs into the common room.

"Hey chickadee," Sirius calls from the window.

"Sirius?" I question. The boys were all supposed to be out playing a mock Quidditch game today with a few other boys from Gryffindor. Well, with the exception of Remus; he's upstairs sleeping in their dorm. "What happened to the game today?"

"Ah, it got canceled," he explains. "The weather."

"Oh…" I say, heart falling slightly. I had been secretly excited when the trip was announced to be today. I knew the boys would be busy and wouldn't be following me and my friends around. "Well what are you going to do?"

"It's rescheduled for tomorrow," he explains. "Hey, you're going to Hogsmede today, aren't you?"

"Yeah," I say.

"Why don't we come with you?" he asks, eyes lighting up. "Me, James, and Peter!"

"Sirius…" I say, struggling to find the right words; I didn't want to be mean and tell him he couldn't come with us. "It's kind of… a girl's day."

"What?"

"Yanno…" I mumble. "We're gonna be trying on dresses, and talking about boys, and make up, and girl's things."

Okay, maybe that was a bit of a lie. We weren't going to be overly girly today, we never are. But the point is, we need a day to ourselves.

"Oh…." he says, expression falling, downtrodden. "Well I guess I'll just-"

"You know what?" I say, trying to patch things up. "Why don't you just come with us? We'll try to keep the girly-ness to a minimum."

"Really?"

"Really."

"Thanks Tonksie!" he says, smiling brightly. "Let me go get James and Peter! Meet you guys in the entrance hall!"

"See you…"

As soon as he's gone, Lily and Lydia turn to me and give me the 'what-did-you-do-that-for' stare.

"Guys," I say, sighing. "He looked so sad when I said he couldn't come."

"Tonks, you know James and I don't get along," Lily says, making her way to the portrait hole. Me and Lydia follow.

"Can you be nice for a day, Lils?" I ask.

"If he is," she says, expression turning cold.

"Tell you what," I say. "I bet we can ward them off."

"What?" Lydia asks.

"Well, if we talk overly-girly about make up, and boys, and clothes, they'll get annoyed and go to the Three Broomsticks or something," I explain.

"That might be crazy enough to work," Lily says with a smile.

Not that I didn't want to spend time with the boys, it's just that I _do_ need a girl's day every once in a while. I practically devote my entire existence to them. And now that they're trying to invade _that_ aspect of my life, I have to do something about it. I feel slightly bad, but I think I have the right to one day with my girl friends.

Standing in the entrance hall waiting for the boys, Lily still fumes with anger. Her arms crossed, eyes narrowed, biting her lip; she looks hostile.

"Lils, calm down," I mutter. "It's like asking me to spend a day with Severus, I know I couldn't do it. But I would do it for you."

She throws me a sideways glance then starts to speak. But unfortunately, she's cut off.

"Hey ladies," James says, striding towards us with his usual swagger. "How did we get invited to grace you with our presences today?"

Lily snorts behind me.

"Oh…. Just, uh," I start, struggling again to find the right words. "Just to do something."

"Well thank you," he says. "Lydia right? Bennett's girl?"

"Yeah," Lydia says, blushing.

"Nice to meet you."

"Yes, introductions and all that," Sirius says, pushing past me to the oak front doors. "Let's go!"

So, following Sirius, we leave the light and warmth of the entrance hall to the outside world. The weather is almost like fall. A chilly breeze nips at our faces, a cold sun breaking between the clouds every once in a while. I now regret my choice of pants.

"It feels like it could be October, doesn't it?" Lily muses as we make our way to the front gates of the school.

"Exactly," James butts in. Lily rolls her eyes and speeds up ahead of us.

"Why does she hate me?" James mutters.

"I honestly don't know," I admit. "I've been trying to figure that out for years now."

"Thanks," he says, shrugging his shoulders. "I guess."

When we finally make it to Hogsmede, the first-choice dress shop is as crowded as it was last year, so we make our way to the one where we purchased our dresses before.

"I honestly like this one better," Lydia admits as we step in and feel a rush of warm air hit our faces. We hang up our coats and hoodies and then start to look around. In the first few minutes, James and Sirius actually make an effort to help us look. They pull dresses and make comments, but after that, they are no help whatsoever.

"Hey, James, d'you think I'd look good in this?" Sirius calls across the boutique holding up a silver ball gown.

"Hideous," James mutters, laughing. Lily rolls her eyes.

"We're going to try on our first rounds," she mutters, walking to the dressing rooms with Lydia. As soon as they're out of earshot, I turn on the boys.

"Stop it!" I whisper.

"What?!" James whispers back defensively. "We aren't doing anything!"

"Yes, you are!" I say in an undertone. "Stop goofing off, this is important to them!"

"Why aren't you getting a dress Tonksie?" Sirius asks.

"My mother already sent me one," I explain, stalking off to the dressing rooms as well.

"Why did she do that?"

"Because I'm awesome, that's why."

Lily and Lydia's first picks aren't my favorite; the three boys say they look nice.

"That's what all men say," Lily mutters, stalking back into her dressing room and pulling the curtain. I give Lydia the 'what's-her-problem' look and Lydia just shrugs.

We go through dozens of more dresses. I don't really like any of them, and again, the boys just say they like them all when asked their opinion. One time, Sirius even said:

"I don't particularly give a shit."

So, we went back to the racks, searching for the perfect one. Hours go by, and the boys are getting more and more restless.

"How do women do this all the time?" Sirius questions while the girls are changing. He's found himself a comfortable spot to lay on the floor, and James is slumped down all the way in his seat, zoning out.

"We do what we need to do, and right now, we need to find the right dresses," I explain, rolling my eyes.

"Ta-da!" Lily says, ripping back the curtain. James sits up immediately, eyes wide.

Lily is sporting a dark blue silk dress that hugs her body to her hips, then flares out straight to the bottom. The straps have jewels on them, and wrap around her neck. There is no back to the dress, just a blank empty space to right above her waist. There's one thick strap right over her shoulders, sparkling in the light. She looks amazing.

"Lily!" I exclaim, standing up. "This is the one!"

"I know!" she exclaims as well. "I absolutely love it!"

"You look… fantastic," James mutters, practically drooling. Lily blushes.

"Thanks Potter."

"Anytime."

Lydia then pulls back her curtains and steps out in a orange cocktail dress; it doesn't impress me.

"Wow, Lily you look amazing!" she exclaims.

Lily then goes to change back into her street clothes and Lydia goes to change into yet another dress.

"Sirius," James whispers quite loudly. "What I just pulled back the curtain right now?"

"You need to learn how to whisper," I mutter, shaking my head. "You pig."

"I just joking, Tonksie," he says with a nervous laugh.

"I'm sure you were."

Lily comes out with the dress and goes to pay for it. Thankfully, Lydia's next dress is the one: a green ball gown with beads all over the bodice. She goes to pay as well.

"Well that was torture," Sirius says, standing up.

"It's what us women like to do," I say, chuckling.

"Tonks, you don't strike me as a girl who likes to do stuff like this," James says.

"Well, I'm really not," I say. "I'm glad my mum spared me having to do this. I came for Lily and Lydia."

We meet them at the front of the store and brace ourselves to step back out into the terrible weather.

"It's five o'clock already!" Sirius exclaims, checking his watch.

"I need a drink," James complains.

"Off to the Three Broomsticks then?" Peter suggests.

"Might as well!" I say, and we head off for the tavern.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Hey guys! Yay I updated! :D

I like this one! Thoughts? (:

Reviews brighten my day! Thanks so much guys! :D

xoxo

Ps, the movie I was in ended up being a short film called "The Perils of Growing Up Flat Chested", so I don't know where you guys would be able to watch it! D: ill see what I can do! I also got into another movie called "Roses are Red" as an extra, but I'm also up for a speaking role! Wish me luck! :D

Pss, The quote is by my FAVORITE man ever! Ugh, I'm so hopelessly in love with RDJ, that it's sad. Just a new obsession I thought I would share! He's so gorgeous! *drools*


	55. Chapter 54

_Look, even bad years are pretty good years I think. -Robert Downey Jr. _

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Tonks's POV*_

We step into the crowded, dimly lit bar just as it starts pouring down rain.

"Well that was lucky," Sirius mutters as he hangs his jacket on a crowded coat rack. It looks as if everyone from Hogwarts has congregated here, along with The Three Broomsticks' usual customers; low candles burn on the walls, casting an orange glow over this chaotic setting.

"Are we even going to be able to find a table?" James asks, glancing around the room with wide eyes.

"Of course," I say. Taking a deep breath, I lead the group deeper into the bar, searching for a table.

"Look!" Lily suddenly exclaims. "A booth just opened up over there!"

All six of our heads whip in the direction of Lily's pointed finger. A group of old warlocks has just stood up to leave a booth in the far corner of the bar. Unfortunately, we aren't the only group on the hunt for a table. A pack of sixth years follow closely behind us, and I notice they've seen the booth as well.

"Go!" I loudly whisper in James's ear, and the six of us legitimately start running to the open table. Of course, I catch my foot on a bar stool and land straight on my face. My friends keep running and claim the booth before Lydia comes back to make sure I'm okay. The sixth years give us dirty looks then move on to find another table.

"Well that was exciting," James mutters, glancing down at his menu.

"'Ello, welcome to The Three Broomsticks," says a young wizard with greasy hair, untidy clothes, and a face full of zits. "I'll be your wait-a', Fergus. What can I get for you?"

"Wotcher," I say. "Can I just have a butterbeer?"

"Butterbeer it is," he says, writing it down on a small notepad. "And for you?" He turns to Sirius.

"Your finest Firewhiskey," he says, with a slight voice infliction of someone rich and pampered. We all wait for him to say he's joking, but he doesn't. Fergus looks down at him with a puzzled expression on his face.

"You're not of age," he determines.

"Who says I'm not?"

"I do," Fergus says. "You're a Hogwarts student."

"I have never been more insulted in my life," Sirius says, looking aghast and placing a hand over his heart.

"How old are you?" Fergus asks.

"None of your business," Sirius says, crossing his arms.

"I'll bring you butterbeer," the waiter says, rolling his eyes. Sirius slumps down into his seat, his little game come to an end.

A few minutes later, orders in hand, Fergus leaves the table.

"Sirius!" Lily exclaims.

"What?!"

"What was that for?" Lydia asks, trying to control her laughter.

"Ah, I just wanted to have some fun with him!"

"I think he might've believed you for a second!" I mutter, chuckling.

"I think so, too!" Sirius laments. "Damn."

Fergus suddenly comes back with our orders. As he passes Sirius his mug of Butterbeer, he mutters:

"Better luck next time, sonny."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Remus's POV*_

They came back from Hogsmede with funny stories and wonderful dresses, but nothing was better than having her back in my arms. She had told me earlier that day that she didn't want me seeing her dress before the ball; I was surprisingly okay with that. It would make the whole night more spectacular. I saw Lily's and Lydia's dresses, which were nice, but I could only imagine Tonks's dress. I was sure she was going to be the most beautiful girl there.

A few days pass in a blur of bright purple hair and naps, when one morning I wake up and my body tells me it's the day of the full moon before my mind does. Pain hits me like a brick wall, right in the head.

"I should get paid for this," I mutter as I get up and run into the bathroom to puke.

"G'mornin' Remus!" Sirius yells from his bed.

"Morning," I feebly say between retches. When I've finished, I stumble back into the dormitory and slide into bed.

"What a beautiful way to start our day," Sirius mutters sarcastically from his four poster.

"Welcome to my life," I say, burying my face into my pillow.

"Sorry, mate," James says as he starts to get ready.

A few minutes later, the boys decide to head down to breakfast.

"If we see Tonks, want us to send her up?" James asks before leaving.

"Please," I mutter.

"Sure thing," Sirius says. As they head down the spiral stairs, I can hear him mutter, "I wish I had a nice girlfriend to take care of me when I'm sick."

I guess I am pretty lucky. I have a beautiful, wonderful, amazing girlfriend. And, she does take care of me when I'm sick, which just happens to be once a month. I loose track of time, but the next thing I'm aware of is soft hands wrapping around my chest.

"Tonks," I mutter, rolling to face her.

"I didn't think you were awake," she whispers, smiling.

"I can never get any good sleep on this day," I explain, feebly lifting a hand to trace the lines of her face, most ungracefully. She smiles warmly nonetheless.

"James sent me up," she says, glancing at my shaking hand. She grabs it and holds it to her lips for a second before placing it down on the pillow between us.

"Did you eat?" I ask. Even though I feel as if I'm an inch from death, I'm still concerned for her well-being.

"No," she admits. "I wanted to see you first."

"Go eat then," I say, leaning in to place a kiss on her cheek. "I'll be fine."

"I don't want to le-"

"Don't worry about me," I say, trying to smile. "I'm a pro at this."

"Oh… alright," she says, sliding out of bed. I watch her cross the dormitory to the door. She stops at the threshold. "I'll be back."

"Love you," I mutter.

"I love you more."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Sirius's POV*_

"And here she is, the lovebird," I say grandly as she rushes into the Great Hall and over to the Gryffindor table, looking anxious, clad in a t-shirt and baggy sweatpants.

"Wotcher," she mutters, totally ignoring my crass comment, piling food onto her plate.

"You're not going to yell at me?" I question, smirking at James.

"Huh?"

"I said you were a lovebird," I explain, proud at my creativity.

"Oh… how nice," she says, shoveling pancakes into her mouth, still not totally paying attention to me.

"What's up your butt this morning?" I ask, scoffing.

"What's up _my _butt?" she questions, pausing.

"Yeah?"

"Well, I don't know if you've forgotten, but my boyfriend is upstairs, feeling like death, about to-"

She whispers this part.

"-turn into a bloody werewolf tonight!"

"I haven't forgotten!"

"Just give me a break," she says, going back to her breakfast. "I have a lot on my mind."

No one talks to Tonks after that. No one talks in general, for fear of being hexed into next Tuesday.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Tonks's POV*_

"I'm back," I call from the door as I close it softly behind me. "Remus?"

I glance over at his bed; his eyes are closed, peacefully resting on his pillow.

"Oh love," I mutter, tiptoeing over to his bed. I slide back into my place, resting my head on his chest. "I'm so sorry for you. I know you probably don't like hearing that, but I do. It's really hard for me to see you this way."

I know he can't hear me, but saying this somehow makes me feel better.

"I probably shouldn't have yelled at Sirius. He doesn't know what it's like to go through this. Seeing someone you love unconditionally in this much pain and suffering. I just snapped. I'll have to apologize later I guess."

He shifts underneath me. I know he won't be asleep for much longer, but I want it last as much as it can. I know sleep is a gift on full moon days; something rare, and something to be cherished.

"I love you so much, you know that right?"

"But I love you more," he whispers, not opening his eyes, still apparently asleep.

"How long have you been awake?"

"Long enough," he says, opening his eyes to look up at me. I smile.

"Well, that statement was false then," I say, smiling playfully. "I love _you _more!"

"No, I most definitely love you more," he says, smiling as well.

"Nonsense," I say, snuggling my head into his chest.

"I love you more than myself," he says. Everything goes silent for a few seconds.

"What?" I ask, sitting up, still processing that.

"I love you more than myself," he repeats.

"Remus…." I mutter. I don't know how to answer that.

"You are more important to me, than I am," he says, reaching up to cup my face.

"Nonsense," I say again, faltering a little.

"Why so upset?"

"I don't like that you don't like yourself," I say, laying back down next to him.

"I cant do anything to change it."

"I know you cant…" I whisper.

"Just remember that, love," he says. "You are my life."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Hey peoples!

So yea, updates, hooray! :D Thought I'd give you some good old fashioned fluff! Haven't had much of that lately! D:

I got admitted to the hospital on Tuesday night (ambulance and everything, it was quite scary!) but I'm out now, and healthy! Don't worry about me! (:

How did you guys like this chapter?! REVIEWS are amaaaaaaazing! :D

Also, is this story dragging out? I know it's going to be either two or three parts, but is that too much? Should I skip some things, or this perfect? I cant decide! Just help me out! :D

Have a wonderful Labor Day weekend! :D

xoxo


	56. Chapter 55

_Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does. Love is a battle, love is a war; love is a growing up-James Baldwin_

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Tonks's POV*_

The night of the full moon is a sleepless one. Tossing and turning in my bed, not one inch tired, my heart a butterfly in my chest. Around 2 in the morning, I give up trying to sleep and take refuge on the windowsill, staring out at the bright, white full moon, seemingly taking up the entire sky with its glory. Most people think this sight is beautiful, while to me, it's just another cold reminder of what is.

The morning of the ball dawns sunny and bright. After only having about an hour of sleep, seeing sunlight doesn't please me.

"Morning Tonks!" Lily exclaims, ripping back my bed curtains, beaming. She obviously doesn't know of my predicament and is full of bubbly excitement for the ball this evening.

"Ugh… Lily," I moan, pulling the blankets back over my head. "More sleep."

"No! It's time to get up!" she protests, ripping them back off my head; I cringe.

"Please!" I beg.

"Fine," she mutters, throwing the blankets back over me. I hear her walk back to her bed. "Did you guys see the full moon last night? It was gorgeous!"

I sit bolt upright. A sudden thought hits me square in the chest.

_Remus._

"See you guys later!" I yell as I sprint out of my bed and through the door, leaving my friends with very puzzled looks on their faces. I storm down the stairs and into the common room. There are already a number of people awake, wanting to get a head start so they have plenty of time to get ready for the ball. I search the common room through bloodshot eyes, looking for one light brown head.

"Tonks," someone calls feebly behind me. I whip around to see him. Pale as a ghost, ruffled hair and a number of new cuts on his face and hands; his arm is in a sling. He is slouched down in a chair, smiling slightly up at me.

"Oh Remus," I mutter, walking over to him. "How are you, darling?"

"Fine," he whispers. I lay a gentle kiss on his forehead. "All the couches were taken."

I chuckle. "I'm sorry. I'm sure this isn't very comfortable."

"It's not," he assures me. I kneel down next to him. "You don't look so good."

"I didn't get any sleep last night," I admit. "I was too worried about you."

"Love, please don't loose sleep over me," he says, sighing.

"It's hard not to," I say, grabbing his hand and burying my face in it.

"There's an open couch over there," he whispers a few minutes later.

"Wha-?" I mumble sleepily.

"Go lay down on that couch," he says, pointing feebly over to a couch by the window.

"You deserve it more than I do," I argue.

"You need rest before the ball tonight," he says. "Go lay down."

"You're coming?!" I confirm, suddenly full of excitement.

"Yes!" he says, a smile brightening his face. "Now go lay down!"

"Fine," I mutter, crawling over to the couch. I position myself so I can still see him from where I lay. And my eyelids drop like bricks.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Remus's POV*_

The tux is from Oliver, so it doesn't exactly fit right.

"Are you sure I look fine?" I ask for the billionth time.

"Yes, mate," Sirius groans, doing his hair in a mirror. "The sling really adds sex appeal."

I look down at my arm and realize it's not going to be much good for dancing. I sigh.

"Remus," James says from his bed. "You look fine. Tonks isn't going to care about your arm sling."

"But I look like shit," I protest. "My face is all cut up, my skin is the same color as paper, and my bloody arm is useless."

"Tonks doesn't particularly care about looks, I think," James says. "Just look at her date from last year."

"Hey!" Sirius exclaims, offended.

"Just kidding, mate, just kidding. You're gorgeous," James says, scoffing.

"I like to think so," Sirius mutters, going back to styling his hair.

"Anyways," James says, turning his attention back to me. "Don't worry about it. I know Tonks is over the moon about you being able to come this year, she's not going to be upset about a few scratches."

"I guess so," I mutter, looking back in the mirror. "Thanks."

"Always there for you, mate," James says, standing up and clapping me on the back. "Are we ready?"

"No," Sirius says, grabbing more styling gel.

"Are we all ready besides the prima donna over there?" James corrects.

"Yeah," I confirm.

"Let's go then," James says, walking over to the door. He holds it open for Peter and I.

"Hey wait!" Sirius protests from the mirror. "I'm almost done!"

"Goodbye Sirius!" James yells before closing the door. He turns to us. "I swear, he takes longer getting ready than a girl!"

I scoff and hobble down the stairs into the common room. There, we wait for our ladies, and Sirius. A few minutes later, he comes rushing down the stairs, hair styled perfectly.

"Why did you leave me?!" he asks, taking his spot next to me.

We're spared having to answer this question by the arrival of the girls. Lily leads the pack, clad in her beautiful blue silk gown that makes James drool. Lydia follows, looking lovely.

She is the last one down the stairs. Her mystery dress is more beautiful than I could have ever imagined. The dark purple satin hugs her body until below her hips then flares out; it compliments her figure in so many ways. Her hair is a dark red color that comes to her shoulders, curled and styled like a pinup girl. Her dark brown eyes are complimented by a smoky eye shadow, and her lips are as red as a tomato. She seems to sparkle as she walks towards me, and I can't believe she is mine.

"Hey," she says, ignoring the other boys and walking up to me. She straightens my jacket and tie before looking me in the eye. I melt.

"Hey," I stammer out. "You look… gorgeous."

"Thank you," she says, blushing madly, only making her more irresistible.

"Where's my lady?" Sirius questions loudly, breaking our moment. Tonks rolls her eyes.

"Probably adding more tissues to her bra," she scoffs, stalking off to talk to Lily, obviously still pissed about Sirius's choice in dates.

"What's up her butt?" Sirius mutters, hands deep in his pockets.

"What's up with you saying that lately?" James remarks, chuckling.

"I dunno," Sirius explains. "It has a certain ring to it that I quite like."

"I guess it is catchy," James says, then they go off on a long discussion about the quality of that statement. Yet, I can't take my eyes off my girlfriend. Even when she's mad, she is still stunning. As she talks animatedly to Lily, her dark red curls bounce on her shoulders. Her pale skin and the dark purple satin of the dress are perfect together.

"Ah, there she is!" Sirius's voice interrupts my thoughts. I turn around to see Scarlet coming down the stairs in a slinky, low cut dress that hugs her body to the knee. Her cleavage is right out there for all to see. May comes in behind her in a similar ensemble. Sirius, Scarlet, James, and May exchange greetings. I can already tell the whole situation must be awkward for James and May. Sirius and Scarlet seem to have hit it right off. I smirk.

"Ready everyone?" James announces, breaking his awkward contact with May. Everyone gives their general consent, grabbing their dates and starting to the portrait hole. Tonks bids farewell to Lily and Lydia, who still have to wait for their dates, and comes back to link arms with me.

"You look fantastic," I muse as we follow James and May out of the common room.

"Stop saying that," she says, smiling and blushing. She can't hide how flustered she is.

"Why?" I ask. "It's the truth."

She bites her lip and glances at the floor, but not in a bad way. Her cheeks are still bright pink.

"You're too good to me," she says, giving me a quick kiss on the cheek.

"I'm the luckiest guy in the world," I whisper in her ear. Being around her takes all the pain and angst of the previous days away. I can barely feel an ache or pain at the moment. I'm on cloud nine.

We journey down to the Great Hall through the crowd of gathering students, decked out in their best dresses and suits. I see Oliver and his date along the way, a redhead girl in his year named Tilly. He winks at me as I pass.

When we finally make it to the Great Hall, we find a table large enough to seat all 11 of us, since Tonks insisted that Lily and Lydia be able to sit with us, which I have no problem with. When we finally find a table, I find a seat next to James with Tonks on the other side of me.

"It's so nice, isn't it?" she says, gazing up at the decorations around us. Since I didn't attend the ball last year, this was all a new experience for me. Seeing all the lights, and tables, and dance floor was kind of overwhelming.

Suddenly, Lily and Lydia arrive with their dates. Bennett and Dean look their best in their tuxes, smiling around at us as they take their seats. I glance over a James and notice his hand gripping the knife with white knuckles as his eyes zero in on Dean. With a small movement, I lay my hand over his, and he relaxes.

"Thanks mate," he mutters, looking down into his lap.

"No problem," I whisper back. I turn around to see Tonks giving me a funny look. Since Lily is seated on the other side of her, I give her a throwaway hand. She seems to pick up what I'm laying down, and does not pursue it any further.

Dinner was quite interesting in my opinion. The food was great, but the social aspect wasn't so. Most of the time, the table was quiet, awkwardly eating their food. Sometimes you would hear a small giggle escape Scarlet as Sirius did something under the table, or Lily would cough and glance in James's direction. To me, Tonks and I were the only remotely normal couple there. Conversation usually revolved around Quidditch, school, or the ball, and was short-lived.

Tonks has to help me cut my steak since I'm injured, but I don't mind. After that, she keeps a hand on my knee since I only have use of one limb, just to remind me she is there. I love that she did that.

As soon as the empty plates are taken away, the DJ announces that the dance floor is now open, and the real party begins.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Hey guys! I love when I get to update frequently! :D

You like this chapter? LOL that didn't work out the way it did in my head. Oh well!

Please review! Reviews are for it being Labor Day! :D Hooray!

xoxo

Ps, the hospital was for internal bleeding, not fun D:


	57. Chapter 56

"_People who matter don't judge, and people who judge don't matter." -(don't know exactly who said this one, but I got it as a suggestion from DanH2010, thanks! (: ) _

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Tonks's POV*_

He stands up from his seat at the dinner table and offers his hand, smiling. I blush and take it, feeling his rough, scarred hand fit like a puzzle piece underneath mine. He leads me onto the quickly filling dance floor, then pulls me into his arms.

"I'm sorry," he mutters to me, flustered and blushing, as we try to position ourselves with his arm in a sling.

"Don't be sorry," I say back, suppressing a smile. We end up with my right hand in his left and my left on his shoulder, with his right awkwardly between us. It's a bugger to try to dance with, but I'm just going to have to accept it.

As soon as the music begins, a quick waltz, a mischievous smirk comes across his face. Then, with strength I couldn't have guessed he had, he sweeps me to the right, sending my dress twirling. We do the quick _one-two-three_ step of a traditional waltz, something he was surprisingly good at. He led with his good arm, and I had to hold on tightly to his shoulder, or the sheer force of our twirling would whip us apart.

Dancing with Remus wasn't even comparable to dancing with Sirius. Yes, Remus did it in a similar way, but the atmosphere was so different. Remus never took his eyes off me, held my hand so tight it might break. His aura was so different than Sirius, who was into having his hands all over me, while Remus just wanted to have me tight close to him. He didn't care where he had me, just as long as he had me. And Remus just plain loved me. That was the biggest thing to me. Sirius just _wanted_ me while Remus _loved_ me. And that made all the difference in the world.

After the first song is complete, another waltz strikes up. We are both panting, his face red with little beads of sweat along his brow line, and I'm sure I have a similar look.

"Ready for another go?" he asks, chuckling at how winded we both were.

"As ready as I'll ever be," I answer, beaming. He leans in and leaves a small kiss on my cheek. His amber eyes twinkle in a way I've never seen before as we start to dance again. Soon, I'm laughing just out of pure bliss, pure happiness. I've never felt this way in my life.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Sirius's POV*_

_Thank God, the first dance is over_.

Dancing with Scarlet wasn't as fun as I imagined it would be. Last year, I got to whip Tonks around pretty good. But Scarlet wouldn't have any of that. We danced normally, stiffly, but I was still close to her. My hands on her bare back was a sensation I don't think I'll forget for a long time.

"That was fun," I say, lying for the sake of starting a conversation.

"I guess," she says, looking down at her feet. The atmosphere turns awkward. I ponder her body language for a moment, then decide on what to do.

"Want to go… get a drink?" I ask, trying to make her comfortable.

"Sure," she says, finally looking up at me. We walk over to a table and grab some drinks. A few songs pass and I watch Tonks and Remus fly all over the dance floor; Tonks's hair is already messed up, and Remus looks like he had just gotten told he didn't have lycanthropy any more. I feel a pang of jealousy.

"What are you looking at?" Scarlet questions next to me; I suddenly remember she's there.

"Oh, just my friends," I admit.

"That Tonks girl?" she asks. "If you wanted to go with her, why didn't you?"

"I didn't want to go with her," I lie, rolling my eyes; women were so quick to jump to conclusions. "I wanted to go with you."

I step into her, turning my back to the dance floor. My hands rest on her silky hips, and she blushes. This is what she wanted.

"I'm glad I got to come with you," I muse, lips getting dangerously close to her neckline.

"Are you?"

"Of course."

My lips make a path down her neck, and I feel her melt underneath me.

"Sirius-"

"Shhh…"

"Sirius, not here," she says. I stop.

"Where?" I ask, confused.

"Follow me."

She grabs my hand and leads me from the Hall, and up the marble staircase. She makes a right and goes down the Transfiguration corridor. About halfway down there is a sizeable broom cupboard.

"In here," she purrs, grabbing me by my tie and pulling me in.

_This_ is what she wants. This is all Scarlet wants. And the thing is, I don't have a problem with giving it to her.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_*James's POV*_

_There go Sirius and Scarlet._

I watch them sneak from the hall, thinking they're not going to be noticed. I decide I'll have to question him later.

"Where are they going off to?" May asks next to me.

"No idea," I say. "Knowing Sirius, it's nothing good."

"Knowing Scarlet, too."

"What about her? Aren't you two friends?" I ask, turning to face her.

"Of course," she says. "But let's just say she isn't the purest girl in the school."

"Oh…" I say, letting that sink in.

"Yeah, that's Scarlet," she says. We sit in silence for a few moments. My eyes wander over to Remus and Tonks, dancing along with the crowd to a poplar song by the _Weird Sisters._ Tonks is totally into it, while Remus just watches her and laughs, so in love I can feel it all the way over here. My eyes then find Lily and Dean at the refreshment table. They both hold a glass of punch, talking and smiling. She looks so happy. And beautiful.

"You like her, don't you?" May asks, interrupting my thoughts.

"What?"

"Lily Evans," she repeats. "You like her?"

"Well… I mean," I start. "I asked you to the dance for a reason-"

"I know you don't like me," she says, sighing.

"What are you talking about?"

"Don't lie to me, James," she says, scoffing. "We can just be friends, I don't mind."

"You don't?"

"Of course not," she shifts positions, redoing the strap on her heel so she doesn't have to look at me. "You like Evans."

"Yeah," I admit. "I do."

"I won't tell her," she assures me, sitting up straight again. "I'm not like Scarlet."

"Really?" I ask. "All Tonks talks about, no offense, is how evil you two are."

"Well, in my opinion, it's just Scarlet. Unfortunately I just stand by her. I don't know why I can't just stop being her friend, she isn't very nice. I have nothing against any of the girls in my dorm."

"I'm glad you said that," I say, smiling. "I'll talk to Tonks, maybe I'll get her to stop hating you."

"Thanks," she smiles.

"Want to go dance?" I ask.

"You're on."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Remus's POV*_

The night wears on, and it really takes a toll on me. Of course, I don't let Tonks know this. I just keep going, willing myself to make it until the end.

About an hour and a half after dancing began, she stops and runs her hands through her hair.

"I think I need some air," she says, winded.

"Me too," I admit. I hold out my hand and she grabs it, locking fingers with me. We leave the Hall just as another song starts.

We find refuge on the ledge of a fountain near the Oak Front Doors. I have to tenderly set myself down, Tonks helping me with gentle hands.

"Tired yet?" she asks, smirking, when we've gotten situated.

"Not even a little."

"You're a liar," she scoffs, smiling.

"No I'm not," I argue, smiling as well. "I could go for hours and hours."

"If you say so," she says, wrapping her arm around mine and laying her head on my shoulder, cuddled up next to me.

"Have you had a good night?" I ask.

"More than a good night," she says. "It was perfect."

"I'm glad," I say, smiling even more broadly. We sit in blissful silence for a few moments.

"Did you see Sirius and Scarlet anywhere?" she asks out of no where. I think about it for a few seconds.

"No, I didn't," I admit, puzzled.

"I wonder where they ran off to," Tonks says, scoffing. I decide not to answer. All of sudden, she sits up and looks me directly in the face.

"I love you," she says, her dark brown eyes trained on mine. I grab her hand.

"I love you more," and before she can argue, I lean in and kiss her. Her pale arms slide up my body and wrap gracefully around my neck, while my one good arm holds her tight to me, like an anchor. When we come up for air, she whispers:

"No, I love you more."

"Don't, Nymphadora."

With that, she kisses me deeply again.

"Don't call me Nymphadora."

I rest my forehead on hers, closing my eyes. The light of the almost full moon shines down on our entwined bodies, the summer air cool and still.

I kiss her once again. "One more dance, my lady?"

"It would be my pleasure."

We get up and walk back to the castle, arms wrapped tightly around each other. The grounds are filled with other couples like us, wanting to get away to get some air. The night is clear, not a cloud in sight, and cool. To me, it's the perfect setting for something as special as this.

It just so happens that when we get back to the Great Hall, it's time for the last song of the evening, a slow dance. The same song in which I watched her with Sirius last year. I pull her onto the dance floor and wrap one arm around her waist; her arms find their way again to my neck.

"Damn this sling," I mutter, ripping it off with a wince and tossing it to the side.

"Remus!" she scolds. "Put it back on!"

"After this dance," I plead.

"Okay," she agrees, and I pull her even tighter to me. We are one body, slowly rocking back and forth in time to the music. The lights are dim, the music beautiful and soft in the background, but frankly I don't even notice anything but the woman I'm dancing with. She is my world. Her head rests on my shoulder, her eyes closed, peaceful.

"This must be what paradise feels like," I muse in her ear. She smiles slightly, then goes back to an expression of bliss. I smile and leave a kiss on her soft lips before resting my head on hers once again.

This is what I live for, perfect nights like these. I don't remember any of my pain, any of my suffering. I don't remember any of my terrible past, or anything bad in the present. I don't worry about the future. I live in the moment for the love of my life, and nothing could ever change that.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Hey guys! Oops I haven't updated in a while! D:

Sorry guys, so much has been going on! Just finished a show, got cast in another movie called 13 score (I get to die by being impaled :D) and just so many other blessings! (: So hopefully I'll be back for a while for your reading enjoyment! (:

What about this one? Cute? I wanted to give an aspect about everyone's night, so I hoped this was good! I was on the fence about Sirius and Scarlet, but hey, no offense, I know people who did that sort of thing at that age. So that is my argument to anyone who disagrees with me (:

Hope you enjoyed! :D

Please Reviewwww!

xoxo

Ps, new cover picture for this story is tonks in her ball gown (: hope you guys like it! :D


	58. Chapter 57

_"Love is like Pi: natural, irrational, and very important." - Lisa Hoffman_

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Tonks's POV*_

As soon as I wake the next morning, my first thoughts bring me right back to those precious moments at the ball. His one good arm around my waist, my head glued to his chest, taking in the warmth radiating off his body. He whispered _"I love you" _just before the last song ended, and in that moment, I felt as if the world stopped turning, and only Remus and I existed. There was no such thing as lycanthropy. There was no such thing as jealously, hatred, or pain. Just love.

I feel a shiver run down my spine and I close my eyes, savoring the moment for as long as I could. I then sit up and pull back my bed curtains to let golden morning sunlight flood my bed. I smile; it's a beautiful day.

My bare feet slide out of bed and onto the cold stone floor. I pad silently to the window to examine the morning. Huge, fluffy white clouds take up half the sky, while the other half is an iridescent blue. The Black Lake could be mistaken for a lake full of diamonds.

"What time is it?" someone grumbles behind me. I turn around to see Lily peeking out of her curtains, hair frumpled. I grin.

"I don't know," I admit. "Maybe 9?"

Lily rubs her eyes then glances over at the alarm clock on her bedside table.

"It's noon," she says, eyes widening a little. "Did we really sleep in _this_ late?"

"Must've," I muse, turning back to the window. "How was the ball last night? Did you and Dean get a long?"

"Of course we did," Lily says, getting up and joining me at the window. "He's a… really great guy."

I look over to see her blushing and smiling widely.

"You really like him, eh?"

"So much," she gushes, giggling.

"Sorry I didn't spent more time with you guys," I say, feeling a bit disappointed with myself.

"Don't worry about it, Tonks," she assures me. "You and Remus looked like you were having too much fun."

"We did," I say, blushing almost as much as Lily.

"You two are really cute together," she muses, leaning her head against the wall. "The way he looks at you… it's just incredible."

"What do you mean?"

"Just… I can't even describe it!" she says, looking over at me. "It's like you two are one person. And you guys just look like you're _so_ in love. I think everyone wishes they had something like that."

I smile to myself, blushing. I believe everything she said.

"Thanks, Lils," I say, smiling over at her.

"You're welcome, Tonks," she says, smiling back. "Now, come one. Let's enjoy our last day."

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Remus's POV*_

I am sitting on the edge of my bed, my head leaned up against one of the posts, drinking a coffee, listening to James and Sirius discuss last nights events. I'll admit it, I partied too hard.

"How did you and May get along?" Sirius asks.

"Fine," James says, grinning a bit. As he goes off into a story about his time last night, my mind wanders.

I was _so_ not ready to get up this morning. It felt like I gone through another full moon to be honest. I was just _that_ exhausted. I think I might've threatened James and Sirius that:

"_If you try to wake me up one more time, I'll shove a stick up your butt."_

Or so, that's they told me. I was too out of it to remember.

But I had eventually gotten up, and as an apology for waking me, James had snuck down to the kitchen to retrieve me a coffee, and I forgave them.

"Do you think she was lying, Moony? You're the smart one," James asks me.

"I'm sorry," I mumble, taking another sip of coffee. "I wasn't paying attention."

"We forgot your brain doesn't work when you wake up early," Sirius says, chuckling.

"No, it does not," I agree, downing the rest of the sweet, caffeinated liquid.

"So, how did your date with Scarlet go?" James asks Sirius. I glance over at him to see his expression change from nonchalant, to a mischievous smirk.

"Well, let's just say we hit it off," he says, leaning back on one elbow on the floor. I turn to face the post, closing my eyes against it. I don't particularly want to hear this story.

"What happened?" James asks.

"Well, we danced for about two songs," he says, reminiscing. "Then we… uh… left."

"I saw you two leaving!" James says. "Where did you go?"

"A broom cupboard."

"No you didn't!" James exclaims.

"Yeah, we did!" Sirius assures.

"And what happened in there?" James asks.

"Well…" Sirius starts, searching for the right words. He pauses. "We didn't go all the way, if you know what I mean."

"Thank God, Sirius Black is still a virgin," I say sarcastically from my spot on the bed. "Because if not, it would've turned into a huge deal. Everyone would know."

"You little git, you," Sirius says, throwing a Bertie Bott's bean at me.

"Leave me alone, I'm just a poor werewolf," I whine.

"Go back to bed, lover boy," James says. I make a face. "Oh don't make faces, we saw you with Tonks last night, don't think we didn't."

I groan as a response.

"I must admit, it was quite cute," Sirius says, chuckling.

"I know!" James agrees. "Did you see them during the last dance?"

"Well, I was a bit preoccupied then," Sirius says, alluding to his activities with Scarlet.

"Oh," James says. "Right."

"But I can imagine it!" Sirius goes on. "Come here, I'll be Tonks, you'll be Remus."

I sit up to watch this occur. James stands, meeting Sirius right in front of my bed.

"Now, I'll bet Tonks was like this," he says, wrapping his arms around James's neck, laying his head on his shoulder. Sirius is almost taller than James so this is quite funny.

"And Remus was like this," James adds, placing his hands around Sirius's waist, almost exactly how Tonks and I had been, but we weren't as creepy.

"And then she was all _I love you, Remus_!" Sirius says in a falsetto voice, head still glued to James's shoulder.

"_I love you too, Tonks!" _James responds, obviously trying to sound like me. I start to crack up.

"Then they make out, the end," Sirius says, pulling away from James. "Sorry mate, but I can't admit I'm secure enough with my sexuality to make out with you."

"Oh believe me, I'm not either."

"Good."

"Good."

I sometimes question why they're my friends, then I remember I can't live without them.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Tonks's POV*_

His head lays in my lap, eyes closed. A breeze blows through the trees and ruffles his hair in his sleep. I hide a smile.

The boys and I had decided to spend this beautiful day down by the lake, under our tree. After all, tomorrow, we would be boarding the Hogwarts Express to go home. Sirius hangs from one of the low branches, throwing clumps of leaves down at Peter, who keeps insisting that he stops. James is sitting writing poetry for Lily. He announced that he was going to write her a hundred poems this summer, so he might as well start now.

As for me and Remus, we had distanced ourselves away from this madness. The ball had definitely taken a toll on him, so as soon as he got the chance, he fell right asleep. I reach down and loosen his red and gold tie for him, and unbutton a few buttons on his shirt, just so he's more comfortable. He smiles slightly in his sleep.

"Hey, chickadee, come here!" Sirius calls.

"I'm a little busy!" I call back, rolling my eyes.

"Put the boy's head down and come here!" he demands. So, ever so gently, I lay Remus's head down in the grass and walk over to where Sirius sits in the tree.

"What do you want?" I ask.

"No need to sound so rude, chickadee," he says, smirking.

"Sorry," I mutter, shaking my head at myself. "I mean, what would you like?"

"Better," he says. "Can you climb this tree?"

"Pssh," I shrug. "Of course I can."

"Then show me, miss graceful," he says, jumping down.

"Wait, that's what you called me over for?" I ask incredulously.

"Yeah!" he says, walking over to stand by James.

"You've got to be kidding me," I mutter.

"Nah, I'm not," Sirius says. "Go."

"Fine," I give in. I jump up and wrap my arms around the lowest branch and begin my climb. Now, knowing me, you would expect this to be quite difficult. But, quite the contrary. I had grown up climbing trees, always tagging behind Sasha and Aaron. Practically, the only outdoor activity I was good at was climbing trees. I shot right up that tree and left James and Sirius with their jaws hanging wide open.

"How do you do that, chickadee?!" Sirius calls up.

"I've always been able to!" I answer. Finally, I reach the top. Bright, white sunlight hits me straight in the face and warms my body. I feel like I'm on top of the world, floating in a cloud of green leaves. I look down to see James and Sirius shading their eyes to get a look at me, and I chuckle.

I suddenly feel as if this is as perfect as life is going to get. My stomach boils with happiness, and throw my arms up like wings, like I'm flying. I let my body absorb the sunlight, a huge smile on my face.

Yes, this is what a perfect life is, no doubt about it.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Hey guys!

How're you guys doing? Good I hope!

Hope you guys like the chapter! Ooh.. 5th year already! Where has the time gone?!

Have a good week guys! Happy October! (I lovee lovee lovee October! Its my favorite month!)

Please review! :D

xoxo


	59. Chapter 58

"_Love is like the sun coming out of the clouds and warming your soul." -Anonymous_

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Remus's POV*_

Summer wore on, with never relenting heat and rain. This had to be one of the most humid summers of my life, and I was not enjoying it. Most of my days were spent with a good book down by the creek that ran behind my family's house, staying cool the best I could. Oliver would sometimes joined me, and maybe even Libby; it was nice for a while.

But if one good thing came out of this summer, it was that Kevin had to move away for his new job at the Ministry. I didn't know exactly what he was doing, and frankly, I didn't want to know, but I know it has something to do with magical creatures; figures.

I refused to help on the day of the move, and took refuge down at my creek. I couldn't bring myself to help him with anything, ever. Oliver wasn't very happy with me, but he forgave me the next day.

Elizabeth was being quite anti-social this summer, as well. I figured it had to be because Kevin wasn't there to protect her anymore. She was always locked up in her room, as most 13 year-old girls do, but she barely even came out for dinner, or anything dealing with the family as a whole.

Even in the midst of all these goings-on, Libby wouldn't shut up about her first year at Hogwarts. She would often take my wand and canter around my room, pretending to be doing magic, then would insist that she would never play with _my_ wand again, because she would be getting _her_ wand soon. Every time she did this, I couldn't help but feel a pang of sadness, for my little Libby was growing up. She would soon be roaming the halls as a student, learning magic along with the rest of us. I even broke down one night in July thinking about this. I consoled myself by reading Tonks's latest letter.

_Dear Remus,_

_How are you? I hope you're doing well. I miss you more than words can say. _

_My family and I have taken a holiday to the beach! I never realized how much I love it there. The sound of the waves crashing against the shore, the feeling of sand underneath your toes… It's just incredible! Have you ever been to a beach, Remus?_

_So now, I write to you from under my umbrella in the sand. Sasha and Aaron are busying themselves in the water. When I am done writing, I think I'll go for a swim too. I don't even mind when the waves crash down on me, plunging me under the surf. _

_You always ask me what my hair looks like. Well, today is short, blonde, and wavy. I quite like it, so I think I'll wear it on the first day of term so you can see!_

_Have you talked to James and Sirius much? I haven't, you know how forgetful they are about writing. I got one letter from James last month, but nothing more. I have talked to Lily and Lydia though! I know you're kind of friends with Lily. Have you talked to her at all? _

_Well, I must be going. Tell me how you're doing, please! I love you! _

_Tonks _

_Ps. Sasha has a girlfriend! She's beautiful and seems nice enough! Her name is Alice!_

I smile and fold up the letter, tucking it in the pocket of my jeans on the bank of the creek.

Honestly, I had never been to a beach, although I've always wanted to go to one. And, I had barely talked to James and Sirius this summer as well. I'm not sure what they were up to, but I know wasn't anything good. I had gotten maybe four or five letters from them, since they were both at James's house. They had mentioned something in passing about the whole animagi thing. I would bet my wand that's what's taking up their summer. It still pained me to think about them doing something like this, for me.

"Oi!" I hear Oliver call from the top of the slope leading down to the banks of the creek. I look up and see him standing there, grinning.

"Come down here!" I call back, and turn around.

Soon I hear him thundering down the slope, sliding on the wet undergrowth and leaves. Suddenly, he is standing right next to me, steadying himself.

"How do you do that everyday?" he asks, sitting down to catch his breath.

"I guess I'm a bit more coordinated than you are," I snicker. He shoots me a dirty look.

"Anyways," he says, peeling off his socks to put his feet in the creek. "I came down to see how you were doing. I saw you reading something. What was it?"

I blush. "Nothing."

"Oh, come on," he coaxes. "You can tell me!"

"It was… a letter," I say, twiddling my thumbs.

"From…?"

"Tonks."

"Oh…" Oliver says, finally understanding. "I see. How is she?"

"She's fine," I say. "On holiday."

"That's nice," Oliver muses, splashing a little. He is quiet for a while. "Hey, isn't it your one-year anniversary the 1st of September?"

"Yeah," I say. I had not forgotten, like most men.

"Well?" Oliver says, urging me on. "What are you going to do?"

"I have to do something?" I ask, puzzled.

"Of course!" he exclaims. "You don't have a one-year anniversary everyday!"

"Well, I hadn't thought about it!" I lie.

"Come on, just admit, you had no idea."

"Okay, I had no idea."

"Good," Oliver says. "So now, what are you going to do?"

"Well…" I say, thinking hard. "I don't have any money."

"I'll loan you some," Oliver say.

"No, I won't take money from you."

"You're not taking it," Oliver explains. "I'm want to help you get Tonks something nice. I want this to be special for you!"

"Oh… Alright."

"Yes!" Oliver exclaims. "We'll go to Diagon Alley tomorrow, alright? And while we're at it, might as well pick up our school stuff."

"Might as well, but we haven't got our letters yet," I point out.

"They just came," Oliver explains.

"It's settled then," I say, grinning.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The next morning, Oliver and I wake early and get ready to leave for Diagon Alley. He had blatantly refused to bring Elizabeth along when my parents had asked him. He said they would have to bring her herself, because he would not take any of her crap tomorrow. So my parents had let it go and would bring her along when they brought Olivia.

We eat a quick breakfast, then set out around 9 o'clock. Oliver had told me he had some business to attend to before we started shopping, and that I couldn't tell anyone what that business was. So I am very surprised when we apparate to in front of an apartment complex.

"What are we doing here?" I ask, glancing up at the Muggle building.

"Meeting someone," Oliver says, and steps inside; I follow.

We pass the front desk and take the lift to the 3rd floor. Oliver glances around nervously before stepping off and starting down the hall.

"What's going on?" I ask again.

"Shh."

We stop in front of apartment #324. Oliver turns to me and says:

"I'll come get you in a few minutes, stay out here."

He then uses his wand to unlock the door, and steps inside quietly. I am completely confused. Minutes go by, and before I know it, I find myself sat up against the wall, my eyes slightly closed. What in the _hell_ was he doing? Suddenly the door opens and Oliver stands there, beaming. He looks the same, although his hair is ruffled.

"You can come in now Remus."

I stand up and walk into the apartment. I was honestly expecting something bad, but quite the contrary, it is a pretty nice apartment. Then I notice the girl standing by the couch. Oliver steps past me and goes over to meet her; he places an arm around her waist.

"Remus, this is Alisa, my fiancé."

My jaw drops open.

"Your what?!"

"My fiancé," he says again. He and Alisa share a smile.

"When did _this_ happen?" I ask, completely shocked.

"We've been together for about three years," he explains. "Alisa, this is my 15 year-old brother, Remus."

"Nice to meet you," she says, reaching her hand out. I take it, still shocked.

She is a very pretty girl, with big blue eyes and flowing blonde hair to her mid-back. She wears simple clothes, and I notice she doesn't have a wand on her. I suddenly realize why Oliver didn't want me to tell anyone; Alisa is a Muggle.

"Well, I just thought I'd introduce the two of you," Oliver says, releasing his fiancé. "We must be off. We're going shopping so Remus can get his girlfriend an anniversary gift."

"Ooh," Alisa says, smiling. "Make sure to get her something good."

"Oh, I will," I assure her; I actually quite like Alisa.

"Goodbye, love," Oliver says, giving her a quick kiss, then leaving her.

"I love you," she says, holding his hand until the last minute. "Nice to finally meet you, Remus!"

"Nice to meet you too!" I respond, then Oliver and I leave the room. As soon as we were on the sidewalk, I stop him.

"_When_ did you plan on telling me this?!"

"Remus, calm down!" he says, shushing me. "I couldn't tell anyone. You can imagine how mum and dad would react."

I think about it for a second. My father believes very strongly in being pure-blooded.

"I'm sorry Oliver," I say, sighing as we start walking again.

"I forgive you," he says.

"What about that girl you brought to the ball, Tilly?" I ask.

"Well, I couldn't have brought a Muggle, could I?" he says. "And I needed a date."

"Oh, I see," I say, stuffing my hands in my pockets. "Well, congratulations!"

"Thanks, little bro," he says, ruffling my hair lovingly.

We continue walking until we reach the Leaky Cauldron, which was surprisingly not far from Alisa's apartment. We shop for our new school supplies for a few hours, and soon we're laden with bags.

"And lastly, your present for Miss Tonks," Oliver says, juggling two parcels.

"Where should we look?" I ask, glancing around the Alley.

"There's a wizard jeweler down that ways a little bit," Oliver says, nodding his head to the right. "Shall we go there?"

"Isn't that a bit expensive?" I ask.

"It's fine," Oliver says, starting that way. "Do not worry about it."

We walk until we reach the jeweler, then set our parcels down and take a look around. Nothing really impresses me until I get to the last case. And inside, I see _exactly_ what I'm going to get her.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Hey guys!

Having a good week so far? Yay October! :D

Like this one? I do!

PLEASE leave a review! (:

xoxo


	60. Chapter 59

"_Life without love is like a tree without blossoms or fruit."-Kahlil Gibran, 'The Vision'_

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Tonks's POV*_

September 1st arrives out of nowhere. One day, it's summer, and you don't have a care in the world, just doing whatever you please; the next, your parents are dragging you off to Diagon Alley to pick up school supplies; and the next, you wake up and realize that you have to go to school today.

As I pack my trunk, it pains me to think about being in 5th year already. I'll be taking O.W.L.s this year, and that won't be any fun, no doubt. Growing up isn't all it's cracked up to be. I yearn for the days before my first year, when there was no talk about war, or hard tests that determine your future, or anything like that. Then again, I wouldn't be with Remus if it was that time, would I?

When everything is packed away as neatly as it's going to get, which isn't very neat, mind you, I slam my trunk and drag it down the stairs _thump thump thump._

"Please, pick up your trunk!" I hear Sasha yell from the kitchen where he's making himself and Alice breakfast. "For God's sakes, you'll wake up all of England!"

"Shut it, Sash," I mutter as I enter, leaving my trunk by the back door; I retreat to my room again and get ready.

Like I had told Remus, my hair is a wavy bleach blonde that falls to my shoulders today. I quite like it, but it is nothing compared to the madness that was my hair from last September 1st. I throw on a t-shirt and a pair of light washed jeans, something you could call my signature look. My make-up flies on, then I rush from the room.

"There you are, sis," Aaron says as I enter the kitchen, pulling on my black converses. "Dad's in the car already, you know how he is."

"I'm usually never late," I lament as I grab a piece of toast, and burst out the back door.

"I know, this is so unlike you," Aaron says, smirking. "Trying to look pretty today for your one-year anniversary?"

_Shit. _

"My what?"

"Your one-year anniversary with Remus?" he says as we reach the car.

"That's today isn't it?" I mutter to myself as I pull open the door; I freeze with my hand on the handle.

"Tonks, get in!" my father yells from the driver seat. I quickly slide in, still astonished at myself. How could I have forgotten? Wasn't it usually the male's job to forget? Well, I had broken that cliché.

The ride to King's Cross is slow and quiet. I just sit there, twiddling my wand between my fingers, watching cars go by and thinking about how I am going to fix this anniversary mess. Again, this is so unlike me, it's unreal! I guess I was just so caught up in the euphoria of actually being in love, that the thought of an anniversary didn't even occur to me.

We wheel our trunks into the station, then get onto Platform 9 ¾. The scarlet steam engine shines brightly in the morning sun, beckoning me to jump on and never look back; when this thought occurs to me, I forget all the negative things about school, and actually become excited. After all, you're only a fifth year once. My father jolts be back into reality by telling me to _get my ass over to the luggage compartment before the train leaves without me. _

"Have a good year, Nymphadora," my mother says, hugging me tightly. We share a small moment as she looks at me with adoration. Something to the left catches her attention and she bursts into tears at the sight of Aaron. "Oh! My little boy all grown up!"

My father, Sasha, and Alice then say goodbye to me as well, and Aaron and I board the Hogwarts Express. The figures on the platform become smaller and smaller as the train pulls out of the station. Soon, they're just little ants waving us goodbye before they disappear completely.

"God, I thought she was never going to let me go!" Aaron mutters, straightening his jacket as the train makes the bend.

"Did she do that to Sasha?" I ask as we start down the train.

"Oh most definitely."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Remus's POV*_

This year, I had no problem waking up to go to King's Cross. I was beyond ready; I hadn't seen my beautiful girlfriend in two months, I couldn't wait to get to school! I had her present tucked neatly away in an inside pocket of my coat, ready to give to her whenever it was time.

Breakfast was quiet and awkward. Kevin wouldn't be there to send us off this year, which I had no problem with, but this made Elizabeth a million times more anxious than she usually is. If I so much as looked at her, she would let out a small whimper; I would just roll my eyes.

For the first time, I notice something new about Oliver; he is actually wearing a golden ring on his left hand. This makes me smile to think about he and Alisa. I went to visit her for a second time about two weeks ago. I got to spend more time with her, and hear about their past. They told me the story of when Alisa found out Oliver was a wizard; it was quite funny.

Just before we leave, I slip into Oliver's room where he is locking up his trunk.

"You're wearing your ring today," I point out. "I didn't even know you had rings."

"We do," he says, looking down at it fondly. "We just choose not to wear them. Alisa has to go to school, too, you know. Our whole relationship is on the down-low."

"I knew that," I say, sitting on his bed. "But why wear the ring today?"

"I'm hoping the wizarding community will be a bit more forgiving about young love," he says, sitting next to me. "It just… sucks. I know no one would take us seriously. If we come out into the open about it, people are just going to look at us and think we're just dumb kids. But think about this, what if, in a few years, you want to marry Tonks?"

This makes me squirm.

"People would most definitely not take you seriously. How would that make you feel?" he finishes.

"Terrible," I admit.

"So I guess you could say this ring is meant as a bit of… a rebellion. People need to take us seriously, so I'm trying to show them we're serious."

With that, he stands up and drags his trunk from the room. I sit there in silence, processing what he just said. That _would_ suck, not being able to marry someone just because the world thinks you're incapable of love, just because you're _young_. That's the main point Oliver is trying to make. And I support every inch of it.

We all pile into the family car, and I check my coat pocket to make sure the present is still in there and once again, it is. I already know how paranoid I'm going to be all day, trying to make sure I don't loose it.

The drive to King's Cross consists of Oliver and my parents arguing. Oliver had just mentioned in passing something about a wizard and a Muggle getting married, and you would have thought he said he was going to snap his wand in half and become one. My father went on a 20 minute rant about mixing bloods, and the whole time, Oliver's face shone bright red, and he played with his engagement ring nervously.

Getting to King's Cross is such a relief. I have to get my own trolley because my father insists that he help Olivia, but as I do so, I leave my family behind and walk with pride to the Platform by myself. I cross the barrier by myself, put my luggage away by myself, and find a seat by myself. I watch them congregate on the platform, saying goodbye and good luck to Olivia. I feel a pang of sadness when it comes to Olivia, but I couldn't have spent one more minute with them. Besides, I needed to know what it felt like to be independent.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Tonks's POV*_

"There you are!" I exclaim, passing the compartment he occupies. He looks over wildly at me, his amber eyes lighting up and his face splitting into a smile. Then, he jumps up and grabs me, pulling me into the compartment and spinning me around, holding on to me as tight as he can. When he sets me down, he lays his forehead on mine, and we just stand there for that moment in time, eyes closed, enjoying each other.

"I missed you," he murmurs suddenly.

"I missed you, too," I say, smiling. All of a sudden, I feel his lips caress mine, and I feel as if I'm on cloud nine.

"Happy one-year anniversary," he says when we part. I open my eyes and see him looking down at me adoringly.

"Happy anniversary to you, too," I say, chuckling out of pure bliss. "It's crazy, isn't it? We've been together for a _year_ now."

"I would say that's an accomplishment," he says, pulling me to sit down. I curl up in his lap, my head rested in the crook of his shoulder. We sit in silence for a few minutes.

"I have a present for you," he says, adjusting himself so he can get something out of his pocket.

"Oh, Remus," I say, flustered. "I knew you would do something like that."

"Well, you're going to take it, because I have it right here," he says, showing me a small, velvet gray box. "And yes, you have to take it."

"What is it?"

"Open it and see," he says, chuckling. So I do.

Inside, there lays a small, silver, circular pendant. The whole thing is covered in little diamonds, with one big diamond off to the side. Connected to this pendant is a thin silver chain. I pick it up and rub it in between my fingers in awe; I have never seen anything so beautiful.

"Do you see what it looks like?" he asks, watching me closely, smiling.

I take a harder look at this gorgeous piece of jewelry and notice that it resembles a full moon. My jaw drops and I feel tears well up in my eyes.

"I… love it," I say, rubbing my thumb over the surface of the silvery moon; strangely, it makes me feel like I am more connected to Remus than ever before.

"Now," he says, undoing it and putting it around my neck. "You'll always have a piece of me with you."

"It's amazing," I say, freely crying now.

"Why are you crying, sweetheart?" he asks, wiping away a tear. "You look beautiful."

"It just means so much," I say, trying to pull myself together. "And I didn't get you anything."

"I don't care about that," he says, leaning his forehead against mine again. "All I care about is you."

"I love you," I say, kissing him lightly again. "So much."

"I love you, too, darling," he says, beaming.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

D'awwwh. They're too cute ^.^

Hope you guys liked this one! It didn't really get interesting until the end… sigh. I don't know how I feel about it!

My sister is taking me to a Renaissance Festival this weekend! Crazy stuff! So sorry guys, but no new chapters until maybe Monday or Tuesday! D:

Also, do I have a problem with tenses? I know in the beginning of the story, its all written in past tense, but somewhere alone the line, it switched to present, and I plan to go back and fix it when I'm done writing. But in chapters in general, do I have a problem with switching tenses?

Please reviewww guys!

xoxo

Now I'm going to go eat some Chinese food. YUMMY. :P

Ps. There should be a new cover photo soon, as soon as I edit it! :D


	61. Chapter 60

"_Your favorite color is purple? Well, that means you're just… adorably up in the clouds." -My voice coach _

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Tonks's POV*_

"Party in the Gryffindor common room tonight! Party in the Gryffindor common room tonight! Party in the-ew Slytherins, you're not invited. Party in the Gryffindor common room tonight!"

James and Sirius's loud voices break into our consciousness from down the hall. I stand up and peer out the door to see the two doofuses themselves swaggering down the hall, yelling their announcement at the top of their lungs.

"HEY you two! Quiet it down a bit, will you?!"

"Well, someone's not invited. Bitch," Sirius mutters, his face turned away from me.

"Excuse me?" I say, placing my hands on my hips. Suddenly, Remus comes up behind me and wraps his arms around my waist and places his head on my shoulder. I subconsciously contract into his warm embrace.

"You're not-" Sirius turns around and spots me. "TONKSIE!" He then bounds towards me, ripping me from Remus and spinning me around and around. "I thought you were some idiot Slytherin."

"I was just joking, Black."

"So was I, Nymphadora," he says, setting me down with a mischievous twinkle in his eye.

"Don't call me that!"

"Oh, spare me," he mutters sarcastically.

"Going to say hello to me?" James whines.

"Oh, how could I have forgotten about you, four-eyes? Hello!" I say, hugging him tightly; he smiles against my shoulder. I notice he has to bend down considerably to hug me. "Gosh, someone grew over the summer."

"Maybe a little bit," he says, pulling away and looking down at me.

"So did I!" Sirius says from behind me; he is leaning up against the door frame next to Remus.

"Yes, you did, too," I say, ruffling his curly hair lovingly.

"Come on, let's go sit down," James says, walking past me and patting Remus on the back as he does so. We follow him into the compartment and take our seats; James and Sirius throw themselves down on the left and Remus and I take a seat on the right.

"Where's Peter?" I ask, letting Remus hold me once again.

"Dunno," James says, stretched out on the bench. "We caught a glimpse of him on the platform, but he didn't see us."

"I'm sure he'll come 'round," Sirius says.

As if on cue, the compartment door slides open and there stands our missing friend; frizzy brown hair, watery blue eyes, and all.

"Hey guys," he greets, taking a seat next to Sirius.

"Where were you, Pete?" he asks, moving down to make room for him.

"Got lost," he explains. "My mum kept me so long on the platform, I couldn't get on the right car and then I forgot where we said we would meet."

"Well, at least you found us!" I say brightly.

"Yeah, thank God," he mutters, chuckling. "Some older Slytherins were following me down the train, but I think I gave them the slip."

"Good, we've taught you well," James chuckles.

All of a sudden, the compartment door slides open again and James starts to drool; who else would it be, but Lily.

"Remus," she says, looking impatient.

"What?" he asks, sitting up a little.

"You're supposed to be in the prefect compartment," she explains, looking slightly annoyed. It's then that we all notice the gleaming, red and gold badge pinned proudly on her chest.

"Oh," Remus answers, sounding somewhat sad.

"Remus, you're a prefect?!" I exclaim, standing up so he can leave.

"Well… yeah," he admits, digging in his bag for something.

"Why didn't you tell us?!" I ask, beaming.

"I dunno," he admits, producing his own badge. I take it and pin it on his sweatshirt for him. "I guess I was just… embarrassed."

"Why would you be embarrassed?" I ask, chuckling.

"I don't know," he says, smiling down at me. "This isn't twenty questions."

"Hurry up, we're all waiting for you," Lily says, tapping her foot. "Hi Tonks!"

"Hey Lils," I say, smiling over at her.

"I'll be back," Remus says, leaning down to give me a quick kiss before sweeping from the compartment with Lily. My heart still flutters every time he kisses me, something I thought would have gone away by now, but obviously hasn't.

"Well this sucks," Sirius says blatantly a few moments later.

"Why?" I ask. "I'm so proud of him!"

"Because, that means we're always going to have a prefect on our backs. He'll turn us in for anything. Looks like the end of our regime, mate," Sirius explains, turning to James.

"Agreed," he says, nodding his head slowly. "No more pranks, no more mischief, no more fun."

"Guys lighten up," I say. "I don't think he'll be like that."

"What makes you say that?" Sirius asks.

"Because you guys are his best mates," I explain, sitting back in my seat. "He wouldn't do anything to get you guys in trouble, no matter how wrong it is."

"How do you know?" James asks.

"I know him, I'm his girlfriend," I say, chuckling. "You don't have anything to worry about."

"If you say so," Sirius says. We sit in silence for a few moments.

"Speaking of Lily, how did writing those poems go, James?" Sirius suddenly asks.

"Well…" he starts, shuffling around in his bag. "I got… around thirty-two."

I scoff. "That's so close to 100."

"Shut up, it's harder than you think," he says, smirking down at his work.

"Let me read one," Sirius demands.

"No," James says, pulling his stack of papers out of Sirius's reach.

"Come on!" Sirius begs, grabbing for the stack, but being restricted by James's hand. "Tonks grab one!"

"No don't!" James exclaims, but I am too quick for him. I snatch the one on top and throw it to Sirius. James still fights to get it back, but fails.

"_Your beautiful red hair burns like fire in the setting sun, lighting up my world. Speaking of the sun, have you ever felt the heat of my love for you? Does it make you feel uncomfortable? Do you love me as well? Although, you probably don't love me, because no one ever has, I strongly believe you will be the one to shine light on my pathetic little life. So answer this, senorita, do you love me as much as I do you?" _

The whole compartment stops, stands still, goes on mute. Then,

"BAHAHAHA!" Sirius starts cracking up, doubling over with laughter at James's work. James's face goes bright red as he snatches the paper from Sirius's hand, and stuffs it in his jeans pocket.

"OH… my God," Sirius cracks up, trying to regain composure. As much I love James, I find myself chuckling a little at this poem. I try to stop myself, but it's near impossible; it was just that bad.

"Stick to Quidditch, mate," Sirius advises, sitting down again.

"Was it really that bad?" James asks, still having a face the same shade as a tomato.

"I'm sorry, mate. But yes, it was," Sirius says, another fit of giggles taking over.

"Okay, okay," James says. "I won't give them to her."

"Yeah, please don't," Sirius scoffs.

"I tried though! I really did!" he exclaims, face falling.

"It's the thought that counts," I say, getting up and placing a hand on his shoulder.

"Yeah, I guess you're right," he admits. "I'll just burn them when we get to school."

"I think that would be best," I say, patting his back consolingly.

Suddenly, the compartment door slides open and in walks Remus's brother, Oliver.

"Where is Remus?" he asks, noticing his little brother is not there.

"The prefect's compartment, why?" I ask, stepping away from James.

"I need him," his brother admits. I notice how similar the two look, although Oliver's eyes aren't the gorgeous shade of amber I love. His jaw line is also different; more defined and angular, unlike Remus's. I also notice something on his left hand. A ring?

"Well, you'll find him there," James says from behind me, realizing I wasn't going to answer; I was too deep in thought.

"Thanks," he says, and sweeps from the compartment. Then, he does a double take and comes back to look at me. "You're _Tonks _correct?"

"The one and only," I say proudly.

"Oh, it's nice to finally meet you," he says, coming in to shake my hand. "I've heard so much about you from Remus."

"Really?" I ask, blushing.

"Yes, he wouldn't shut up about you all summer," he says, winking. "You two have got something special on your hands."

"Thank you," I say. "Nice to finally meet you, too." I consider asking him about his ring, but I figure that would be rude, so I don't say anything.

"Well, thanks again," he says, and sweeps from the compartment for good.

"He looks so similar to Remus," I say, sitting down again.

"Yeah, those two are quite similar," James says, forgetting about the poem fiasco.

"You've met him before?" I ask.

"Once," he admits, stretching out again. "At the train station. They're practically twins."

"How strange," I admit.

Suddenly, our conversation is interrupted again by a small black haired boy entering the compartment.

"Sirius!" he calls in a shrill voice. He already wears his school robes and sports a green and silver tie. "You have my broomstick."

"I haven't got your broomstick," Sirius retorts. "I didn't touch it."

"Yes, you did! You-"

"Shut up, and go check your things again. I'm sure it's there," Sirius says, rolling his eyes.

"Whatever," the boy mutters, and stalks away, cloak billowing behind him.

"Who in the hell was that?" I ask. James and Sirius exchange fierce looks, then turn back to me.

"That was my little brother, Regulus."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Hey guys! Yeah I have a million excuses for not updating, and none of them are any good, so I'll just say sorry D: Sorry guys!

So, yeah, how did you like this one? You have no idea how many drafts this went through to get the final one. It was crazy!

So yeah, please review! I feel like I haven't been getting many reviews lately? I wonder why! D:

Love you all!

xoxo

Ps. Had my audition in NYC Friday! Went well, exactly what me wanted. Filming a new Halloween movie this Friday, so excited! My character takes bath salts then get impaled! LOL. Anyways, pleaseee review! :D

Pss. Like the new cover picture?! Its the necklace :) tell me what you think!


	62. Chapter 61

_Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your heart or burn down your house, you can never tell.-Joan Crawford_

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Tonks's POV*_

"You have a brother?!"

"No, I just made him up," Sirius replies sarcastically.

"Come on," I say, rolling my eyes. "I honestly had no idea!"

"Well," James says. "You never really talk about him in front of her, mate."

"Guess you're right-"

"I'm always right."

"-I just can't believe he hasn't made an appearance earlier, the little prat," Sirius finishes.

"Do you two… not get along?" I ask uncertainly.

"It's not that I don't love him," he explains. "We're just very, very different. He's my parent's idea of a perfect child: Slytherin, deceiving, evil, cunning, etc. You know, all the traits that Slytherin values. And then there's me, the Gryffindor: brave, loyal, honest, etc. It's hard to get along with someone like that. Someone who is worshiped by your parents when they won't even look at you without flinching."

I let this sink in. I had never really thought about it before, but Sirius doesn't have a very good home life. I guess that's why he always spends breaks at James's house.

"I'm sorry," I say, because nothing else better came to mind.

"Don't be sorry," he says, rolling his eyes and looking out the window glumly. "It is what it is."

Suddenly, the compartment door slides open and once again we see Remus.

"What did I miss?" he asks, coming over to sit by me.

"James's poems, Oliver, and Sirius's little brother, Regulus. Did you know he had a brother?" I say, leaning my head against his shoulder.

"Of course," he responds.

"Well, I didn't!" I exclaim, face falling slightly.

"It's fine, darling," he assures me, kissing the back of my hand. "By the way, Oliver found me."

"What did he want?" James asks.

"Olivia wanted me," he explains. "She's still a bit nervous."

"Did she find some friends?" I ask.

"Of course. They look nice enough, but she didn't want them to see that I had to come talk to her. I guess she was embarrassed," he chuckles.

"Awe, how cute," I say, smiling.

"Oh I forgot to tell you, Tonks, Lily wants to see you."

"Where?" I ask, sitting up.

"Her compartment in the next train," Remus says. "You'll find her."

"Okay," I say, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek and leaving. "I'll be right back."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Remus's POV*_"It works, mate."

"What does?" I ask, oblivious.

"The animagus project," James explains, proudly smirking. "We preformed the finishing touches last week. We are now officially illegal animagi."

"Really?!" I exclaim, sitting on the edge of my seat. "I still can't believe you guys actually did this."

"Well, we did," Sirius says, standing up. "All for you, mate."

"I won't ever be able to thank you enough," I say, clapping him on the back appreciatively. I turn to James and Peter. "You, too."

"You're welcome," James says, smiling. "It's going to be… an adventure, of course."

"Of course," I agree, beaming ear to ear.

"Wanna see?" Sirius asks with a mischievous smirk.

"What if someone walks in?" I ask, glancing around nervously.

"It'll be fine, we're only doing it for a second," James says, walking over and pulling the curtains on the window. Sirius does the same for the blinds on the door. The compartment is now dim, panels of sunlight illuminating the dull, carpeted floor. My three friends stand in front of me, grinning at each other.

"On my count of three," Sirius says.

"No, on _my _count of three," James argues.

"Oh, shove off," Sirius replies, rolling his eyes. "Fine, on _your_ count of three."

"One… Two… Three!"All of a sudden, where my three best friends stood, now stand a rat, a dog, and a stag. I blink my eyes very fast to make sure I'm seeing correctly. The rat scuttles across the floor, squeaking, its whiskers twitching rapidly; the big, black, scruffy dog chases its tail, whining slightly; and the gorgeous, white stag with James's eyes just looks at me, nothing to do but gaze at me as if it were saying _didn't we do a fantastic job?_ Well, they did, no doubt about that. In that moment, my chest swells and I feel myself get teary-eyed. The rat stops scuttling, the dog stops chasing its tail. All three animals sit idly, staring up at their friend waiting for a reaction.

"What the _hell_ is going on in here?!"

I snap my head to the left and see a very shocked and angry Tonks standing in the doorway. When I turn my attention back to the animals, my friends have replaced them once again. They all look a bit taken aback by her reaction and say nothing.

"Come on, someone speak up!" she demands, looking around at all of us. I am the first to speak.

"Calm down, darling, they just… did a favor for me."

"A favor?" she asks, a tone of sharpness still in her voice.

"Yes," I say, trying my best to explain. "They… they…"

"We became animagi," James finishes.

"Animagi?" Tonks says breathlessly, incredulously. She runs a hand through her blonde hair, looking at the floor. "What for?"

"Sit down," Sirius says, voice full of defeat. "We'll explain everything."

With that, we take our seats in the still dimly lit compartment. Tonks refuses to be held, but sits on the edge of her seat, listening to James and Sirius talk. I sit back next to her, not daring to reach out and touch her. I zone out, looking down into my lap, defeated.

"And you didn't tell me?"

This sentence catches my attention. I look up to see her glaring at the other boys.

"I told you she would have wanted to know, mate," James says, rolling his eyes.

"I would have never let you," I say. She looks back at me, eyes burning with angst.

"You would have never let me?"

"No, I wouldn't have. It's too dangerous."

"You let them," she argues, crossing her arms.

"I didn't ask them to do it, Tonks. They did it without me knowing."

"And when you did find out, you didn't stop them?" she says, narrowing her beautiful brown eyes.

"Tonks… I couldn't," I explain. "They were willing to put their life on the line for me, I couldn't say no. With this, full moons will be bearable. If I'm right, I won't hurt myself as much; I'll be healthier. I can spend more time with you."

"I'm willing to do the same thing," she says, anger faltering. "I would do anything for you, Remus, if it meant it would help you."

"You do, love," I say. "You stay with me before and after my transformations. You get me water and put cold rags on my head. You clean my cuts and replace my bandages. You curl up next to me when I'm so cold, I think I might freeze, sharing your body heat with me. You sing to me when you think I'm sleeping. You don't think that's enough?"

No one says a word. She just looks at me, eyes sparkling with tears. She didn't realize I knew everything she did for me. On nights when no one else is around, and it's just us two in the world, she'll sing softly to me. It's never a real song, just words placed into a melody. And her voice is beautiful. So dynamic, so clear, and silky, like a breath of fresh air. I forget the pain when she sings to me. I forget that I'm a poor, teenage lycanthrope with a failing family. All I can think about is the woman singing to me, and the places her songs bring me. Once, her song brought me to a beautiful, shining kingdom with a brave knight who saved the castle from a fire-breathing dragon. Another, to a sunny, clear mountaintop, where all the flowers were in full bloom and there wasn't a cloud in the sky.

All of sudden, she gets up and rushes from the compartment, tears in her eyes. I don't notice that I'm crying until now and hastily wipe the tears away.

"Sorry guys," I say, still choked up.

"Go get her, mate," Sirius says, smirking. "That's what she wants, you know. For you to chase after her."

I look over at my best mates and they reply with encouraging expressions. I stand up and rush from the compartment, running after the love of my life. I couldn't let her go now.

I see her blonde head just slip through the door at the end of this train and into the next. I follow, pushing through students and even the food trolley witch. I get some menacing glances, but I barely notice. I follow her retreating figure all the way down the train until I find her on the part of the caboose restricted to students, the very end of the Hogwarts Express.

I step out onto the platform nervously, and feel the rush of air hit me full in the face; this can't be safe. She's standing at the edge of the platform, gripping the railing hard with white knuckles, her blonde hair whipping around her in the fierce wind.

"Tonks!" I yell over the sound of the wheels against the tracks, the chugging of the train, and the wind. "Come inside! It's not safe out here!"

"We're almost there!" she yells back, and I suddenly notice we've started to slow down. I look around and see that we're pulling to Hogsmede station as we speak. The sound dies down and I feel that it's safe enough to walk out to meet her.

"Why did you run?" I ask, standing next to her. Her face is tear-stained and her hair is a rat's nest. She wipes another tear from her bloodshot eye.

"I didn't know you knew," she says, chuckling as people do when they cry. I've never really understood why people do that. I guess it's because they don't know what else to do. Every other option has been ruled out; they're at the end of their rope.

"Of course I knew," I say. She still refuses to look at me.

"And…" she continues. "I guess I was upset that James and Sirius didn't tell me about their plan. And that you didn't trust me enough to let me."

"It's not that," I explain. "I just… wouldn't know what I would do if anything happened to you because of me. Like I said, it's dangerous. Beyond dangerous. And, believe me, I tried to change their minds, but they wouldn't budge. They wouldn't give up."

She stays silent for a moment, then turns to me.

"I want to do it more than anything," she says.

"Tonks, you do so much more than you need to," I say, grabbing her hands. "I will never be able to repay you for what you do for me. Without you, I would be in so much more pain than I already am. I wouldn't be able to get through the night without you by my side, singing."

"I didn't know you knew I sang," she smiles embarrassedly.

"Of course I do," I say, kissing one of her hands. "And you have the most beautiful voice I've ever heard."

She blushes.

"I just thought… it would comfort you in some way, some possible, silly way."

"It's not silly," I say, taking my index finger and gently lifting her chin so she looks me in the eye. "It's perfect."

I lean down and place the softest, most gentle kiss I've ever given on her lips. She closes her eyes and collapses into me; I wrap my arms around her and rub her back in small, comforting circles. I kiss her hair then place my cheek against it. She barely moves, putting her full weight on me as the train comes to a complete stop.

"Come on," I say, grabbing her hand as she straightens up. "The boys will be wondering where we went."

She smiles slightly as we start to walk back up the train.

"You always make me feel better, Remus, even if you're the one who made me upset in the first place," she says, laying her head on my shoulder.

"I try," I say, chuckling. "I love you."

"I love you more," she whispers back, looking up at me. Then suddenly, she grabs my hand and pulls me down the car, skipping. Her face is spilt into the widest smile, and I'm sure I look similar.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

Hey guys! Long time, no see?

OH, the fluffiness of this chapter…. Too much? I'm kind of on the fence about Tonks's reaction in this chapter… Too OOC? Too pathetic? Feedback please! (:

Hope you guys enjoyed! PLEASE review! And yes, I have been loosing reviewers! D: I don't know why, so if you guys could give this story some love, that would be great! Maybe it's too long… I don't know… :/

But anyways, REVIEW!

I hope you all had a wonderful and safe Halloween, if you guys do that! I did! And yes, there is me, this highschooler trick or treating. And it didn't make it any better that I was dressed up as Tony Stark with the beard and everything! Let's just say I got some looks!

Also, I hope you guys are all safe from Hurricane Sandy! I just got a ton of rain and wind where I live (school didn't even get canceled, sigh) but I hope you guys are okay!

Love you all! *virtual hugs*

xoxo


	63. Chapter 62

"_It is a curious thought, but it is only when you see people looking ridiculous that you realize just how much you love them." - Agatha Christie_

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Tonks's POV*_

I can't believe we're finally here, on the night of the beginning of our 5th year. It's crazy when you think about it; just five years ago, we were the nervous eleven year olds standing at the front of the hall, waiting to be sorted. We were the ones who looked so happy to have been sorted and found a family of our own. We were the ones who were so amazed at the magnitude of the feast and the ghosts and the Great Hall and everything. Now, we're the on-lookers, the veterans even. We've been through it all, and it's magical to watch the newbies go through it every year.

When the feast is over, prefects start popping up all around the hall, calling for the first years in their houses to follow them. I have to nudge Remus in the ribs to remind him. He looks over at me and smiles nervously.

"Go on, you can do it!" I encourage. He nods, then stands up.

"First years, follow me!" and along with Lily and the other Gryffindor prefects, he rounds up the first years. James, Sirius, Peter and I continue out of the hall and up the marble staircase to Gryffindor common room.

"How weird is it to watch Remus in charge like that?" I chuckle.

"So weird," James agrees.

When we finally arrive at the portrait of the Fat Lady, I notice an older prefect has been stationed here. We curtly say goodnight, then follow the throng of students into the circular tower, or as we call it, home.

Our favorite spot in front of the fire looks just as it did before we left last year; the chairs and couches look just as comfortable and squashy; the fire crackles gaily on the hearth, warming the room from its many months of desertion.

"Okay, I'm ready to party!" James announces. He stands up on a chair. "Welcome back, Gryffindors! Are we ready to have some fun?!"

A couple upperclassmen roll their eyes and go up to bed, but the rest of the common room looks up at James with rapt attention.

"Now, you all probably know me, James Potter, captain of the Gryffindor Quidditch team, and I hereby announce that this party is in session!"

The crowd starts to cheer, and Sirius turns on the radio that is never used. Music fills the room and immediately, people start to move furniture to make a dance floor. James jumps down and starts dancing, Sirius joining him. Soon, the whole common room is filled with students dancing and having a good time. I loose track of the time, dancing with everyone else, but I do notice Remus and Lily aren't here. They probably had to do something with the other prefects. I sigh as I watch Sirius and Scarlet dirty dancing together.

All of a sudden, a feel a pair of thin, warm arms wrap around my waist from behind. My face suddenly splits into a smile. We start to dance together at the edge of the throng of dancing students.

"Gosh Remus, are we going to become _that_ couple?"

"Whatever do you mean?" he asks, kissing my neck ever so slightly.

"What I mean is…" I say, still squirming. "That _one _couple that always does cutsie things in public, like cuddling and kissing. And that _one_ couple that people ask _are they still together_? Know what I mean?"

"Of course we will be," he says, turning me around and smiling; he places a quick kiss on my cheek. "We already are."

XXXXXXXXXXXX

_*James's POV*_

"Alright, tonight's the night, men. You know what that means." I take a pause to give an encouraging smile to my audience. My audience being Sirius, Peter, and a very, very exhausted Remus. It's 8 o'clock in the morning on the day of the full moon, the first time we will get to use our animagus forms around a werewolf. It could go terribly wrong, it could go amazingly well, we just don't know "We all remember the plan?"

"Yes, James," Sirius says, annoyed. They've probably heard the plan about fifty times in the past week. "We know the plan like the back of our hand."

"Good," I say, messing up my hair nervously. "So, at what time does Madam Pomfrey come for Remus?"

"Around seven," Peter says, leaning up against the post of his bed lazily.

"And where will we be?"

"Up here," Sirius says. "Getting under the cloak."

"Precisely," I say, nodding. "Then what?"

"We'll follow Madam Pomfrey and Remus down to the Whomping Willow, wait for the moon to rise, then follow into the Shrieking Shack," Sirius says.

"And?"

"We'll go from there," Peter says. "We don't know exactly what it's like in there."

"Very good," I say, smiling. "We're ready."

"We've been ready for about a week," Sirius mutters. "I'm hungry."

We all get up and leave the dorm to go down to breakfast.

"See you later, Remus," I call out the door. "We'll send Tonks up."

He grunts as a response.

When Tonks does make it down for breakfast, she doesn't look happy with us. I know she's still pissed that she wasn't let in on the plan. I would have never let her in on it anyways, just because I knew Remus wouldn't approve. She eats silently and refuses to look at us. I glance sideways at Sirius, and he just rolls his eyes.

Later that day, we're walking back up the common room during a free period, when Sirius turns to me and says;

"I've never known you to be so anal about anything before."

"I know," I admit. This was very out of character for me. "This isn't something that we can mess around with. If we get caught, we're going to be expelled. If something goes wrong, one of us could get seriously injured, or killed. I have to be anal about it."

Sirius nods, looking grim. To be honest, we're all nervous. I know Tonks is too, but she won't admit it. She knows how dangerous it is, but is too stubborn to show any emotion about it.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

_*7 o'clock*_

"All ready?" I ask, throwing the cloak over the three of us.

"Ugh," Sirius groans. "It's so cramped under here."

"We'll be fine," I mutter, checking my watch. "Alright, 7:01, let's go."

Very, very carefully, we all take a step forward and out of the dorm. This was going to be something we had to practice; making sure our feet didn't show, making sure we didn't make any noise. Peter is so big and clumsy, I am surprised we aren't caught going down the stairs into the common room.

Unfortunately, the tower is packed with students. I look over to the couch in front of the fire and see Tonks, sitting with her knees up to her eyes, staring into space. I turn to my friends and mouth _be careful_. They nod and we proceed.

We have to be very careful not to trod on anyone's foot, not to run into anybody or anything. Once, we have to wait for a seventh year to pull her chair in, because there is no other way around it. Another, we almost get bumped into by a first year running towards the dorms with a mad gleam in his eye that reminds me of Sirius. Then, we have to wait for someone to use the portrait hole so we can slip out behind them. Thankfully, Oliver comes about soon, and we follow him.

Navigating the corridors is much easier than trying to get through the crowded common room. We meet almost no one, save Scarlet and May, walking back from the library. Sirius almost gives our position away, stopping right in his tracks and staring at her, but thankfully, Peter notices and grabs his collar to start moving again.

Unfortunately, we never catch up to Madam Pomfrey and Remus. When we reach the front doors, we have to wait for Filch to come around, and slip out after him. The grounds are dark and the grass is dewy. We hurry to get across the lawn in time. On our way, we pass Madam Pomfrey going back to the castle, looking glum.

Finally, we arrive at the Whomping Willow, and find a spot to stand a safe distance away. Remus is already inside, and the full moon is about to rise. We stand, waiting with baited breath in the chill, September night. Peter swallows and glances around nervously.

"What-"

"Shhh!" Me and Sirius quiet him. He looks shamefully at his feet.

We look up and see the full moon risen beautifully in the night sky, shining light over the entire grounds, so beautiful, yet so ominous. I feel my heartbeat quicken and my hands get sweaty and twitchy. I push my glasses up my nose and look at my friends.

"Go," I say quietly. I whip off the cloak and hide it under the rock I had scouted out earlier in the week. Then I close my eyes and become the stag.

When I open my eyes, I look around and see the dog and rat. They both look expectantly up at me, and I freeze. What am I doing? This is no place for a student. I am about to face a fully grown werewolf that could easily kill me with one swipe of the paw. I stomp my feet nervously. Suddenly, I feel a wet nose on my shoulder, and glance down to see the dog give me look like _are you gonna go, or not_? I shake my antlered head, and take a step forward.

The dog and rat follow me to the Willow, and I suddenly become aware of a major problem. How are we going to get past the Whomping Willow without being killed? This tiny detail my organized mind had been overlooked. I wish I had asked Remus how he and Madam Pomfrey get into the tunnel, but alas, I had forgotten.

I look over at the dog and rat, and see they have realized the problem too. The rat scuttles around nervously, and starts to head back to where we were hidden. I stomp my hoof with finality. We will not go back. The rat comes back and stands next to the dog.

I make a quick decision in my head: just go forward. If the Willow attacks, it attacks. We have no other choice. So, I take a step forward, and the rat and dog follow nervously. At first, we manage to dodge the whipping branches, but our luck turns to grief when the dog is side swiped off its feet. When our heads are turned, the tree gets its revenge and knocks me off my feet as well.

It is such a weird experience, trying to maneuver myself as the stag. Figuring out how to stand was a challenge in this new and interesting body. I stand gallop away from the trouble. I see the dog and rat have done the same, although the dog's side is bloody. I shake my head and advance again.

This time has similar results. We are thrown about and beat up by a tree. _A fucking tree. _How is it that we, the smart and brilliant people we are, are being beaten by a tree. I get mad and start to stomp my hooves threateningly. The dog whines and looks back at the hiding place with pleading eyes. No, we will go on.

On the third try, something miraculous happens. The rat is thrown towards the tree by accident and slams into the base of the trunk. While the dog and I are trying to get ourselves together again, we notice something. The tree has stopped. The branches stop whipping around, becoming immobile. We look at each other and realize what happened. We will have to remember this. The rat is already inside the tunnel, so we follow quickly.

The tunnel is dark and damp. It is hard for us to fit, but we manage, following the rat's squeaking up ahead. The dog's hot breath is always on my neck, but I ignore it, realizing how nervous he is, and remembering how nervous I should be.

When we reach the end, I stop and take a moment to prepare myself for what I'm about to see. We hear howls and thumps from the room ahead of us. I take one step forward, and nudge the door open with my head. And there he is.

The room is dank and musty. Overturned furniture fills the room, and the walls and floor have long, deep claw marks in them. There is also blood stains all over the floor and spatters on the wall. The windows are broken, so a slight breeze fills the room. And to make this picture complete, there is the werewolf himself.

Remus told us he didn't know what he looked like in wolf form. Quite honestly, if I were him, I wouldn't want to know. Standing around seven feet tall, he's a monster. He has grey, shaggy fur and sharp, pointed ears. His hands and feet are huge and have the longest claws I've ever seen on an animal, very sharp and dangerous. He hears us enter and turns, ever so slowly, to face us. His snout is long and menacing. When he opens his mouth to howl, he reveals a set of long, wickedly sharp teeth. I turn my attention to his eyes. They are the exact same color as they are when he is a man, still with the same passion. I recognize this wolf, and I will never forget the look he gives me. He takes a tentative step forward.

I take a step forward as well, towards this monster. He looks curiously at me, as though he's confused. I bow my head as a sign that I'm not here to hurt him. When I look up, he looks down at me as if he's… pleased. I don't think that is the right word, but it's the only one even close to it. The dog and rat do the same as I did, and soon, we're all standing idly around each other, the big, bad wolf as mundane and calm as the rest of us.

If others saw this monster, they would scream run in the other direction. But, I don't know if I would. They are always given a bad name, but really, he's quite beautiful. Long and graceful, this wolf wants no trouble. He looks at the three of us with Remus's eyes as if he were excited.

This is the beginning of something much more than it seemed. It is the beginning of a legacy that would last generations, and friendships that would last a lifetime. It would end the pain and suffering of one man, and begin a Golden Age.

Let the adventure begin.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Hellos my friends! :D

How are all of you? Thank you so so so so so so much to all of you that reviewed! Keep them coming! (:

Thoughts on this chapter? Review please!

Well, I'm going to go eat candy now! Have a lovely week!

xoxo


	64. Chapter 63

_Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.-Aristotle_

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_*James's POV*_

One of the best nights of my life. Hands down.

The next morning, we're all exhausted and irritable, yet no one can even process what we've just accomplished. Three teenage wizards broke the prejudice barrier, proving it wasn't impossible to live harmoniously with werewolves. Three teenage wizards also became animagi in less than three years, when some adult wizards can't even manage that. Even as I sit here, exhausted and beat up, I can't get rid of this sense of fierce pride, making me feel more alive than ever before. We did it.

Being the stag was an experience I'll never, ever forget; being as light as air, graceful, and majestic, galloping around the grounds with the dog, the rat, and the wolf. It was just so surreal and wonderful. I want more. I want a month to pass so I can experience it all over again.

Sirius's groan tears me from my thoughts. I glance over at him and watch him bandage his wounds. Sirius got really beat up last night; the whole right side of his body is bruised and cut up from the attack of the Willow. Down on his ribs, there is a huge, deep gash, and his face looks like he got dragged across pavement.

"Sirius," I call over from my end of the couch. "Are you okay mate?"

"No," he winces. "That damn tree got me right on the side."

"I remember that," I say, chuckling. Now it would be untrue to say Peter and I were unscathed. Peter has a few cuts and bruises on his back and I have a few on my arms. Remus, well we don't know about him yet. He got whisked away to the Hospital Wing as soon as the sun rose.

"Wonder when Moony will come back," I muse.

"I really could care less at the moment," Sirius mutters, peeling an old bandage off his ribs. "Ah, ah, ah, ah."

"That looks nasty," I admit, examining the torn up flesh. "Did you break a few ribs, too?"

"Probably," he says irritably, starting to wrap clean bandages around the wound again.

"Oh my gosh, there you guys are!"

We look up to see Tonks running towards us from the foot of the stairs. She's still in her pajamas, hair up in a messy bun and no make up on.

"I've been worried _sick_," she says, coming to sit next to me.

"Calm down, Tonksie, we're all okay," I assure her.

"Are you kidding me?" she asks incredulously. "Look at Sirius!"

"I'm fine," he says, wincing again as he finishes his wrapping. "Honest."

"No, you are _not_ fine," she mutters. "How did that happen anyway?"

"Not by Remus," he says, and she relaxes. "It was the damn Willow."

"The Whomping Willow?"

"No shit."

"Sirius," I warn.

"Sorry," he says, laying back gingerly on the couch. "This sucks _ass_."

"You really should go see Madam Pomfrey," Tonks says.

"No," Sirius replies. "Because then, I'll have to explain where I got my wounds. And I'm not doing that."

"Sirius-"

"Don't. I'm never going to give up our secret. Last night was… unimaginable," he says.

Tonks stays silent for a moment, looking somber.

"Was it?"

"Yeah," I say. She turns to me expectantly. "It was… surreal."

"I'm sure it was," she says, looking down into her lap.

"Look, Tonks, I'm sorry for not letting you in on it. But you know how Remus would have reacted. What if you were the one who got injured, not Sirius. Remus would never forgive us."

"I guess you're right," she admits. "I shouldn't have been so sour about it."

"I take that as an apology?" Sirius says weakly.

"I guess," she gushes, smiling. "I can never stay mad at you guys, it's impossible."

"We're just that special," I taunt, smiling.

"Guys!"

We all whip around to Remus climbing through the portrait hole. _Climbing. _

"Remus!" Tonks squeals, getting up to hug him. He looks stunned as she wraps her arms tightly around his neck. She releases him, gazing happily up into his face. "You're… normal?"

"Well, not normal," he says, still beaming. Tonks helps sit him down. "I feel… so so so much better than I did on the last full moon. I only had a few cuts, see?" He points to a jagged gash below his jaw line and to another above his eye. "This is _amazing_. I don't remember much of it, but whatever you guys did was fantastic."

Tonks smiles sadly and nuzzles her head into his shoulder. He pats her back slowly.

"Of course, I still feel like shit from the transformation itself, but I can't believe I barley got hurt!" he finishes, grinning from ear to ear.

"I'm happy for you, mate," Sirius mutters.

"What's wrong with you?" Remus asks, freezing.

"Oh, nothing," Sirius lies, trying to shift himself to a more comfortable position.

"No, something is definitely wrong," Remus says, getting up swiftly and marching over to our couch. He eyes the cuts on Sirius's face warily. "What happened?"

"It was just a little thing, mate."

"Show me."

Sirius rolls his eyes, then stands and pulls his shirt up to reveal the bandages. Remus's face falls in complete horror. He then proceeds to unwrap the bandage and show the gash underneath.

"What happened? Tell me now."

"Mate, it wasn't you," Sirius says. Remus lets out a huge breath of relief and runs his hands through his hair. "It was the damned tree."

"The Whomping Willow?"

"No sh-"

"Sirius," I warn again. He bites his tongue.

"Yes, the Whomping Willow."

"I can't believe forgot to tell you!" Remus laments, sitting down and putting his face in his hands. "I forgot to mention it, how could I have been so stupid?!"

"Moony, it's fine. We figured it out," I assure him.

"But not after Sirius got hurt!"

"I'm fine, I told you!" Sirius argues.

"I don't want you guys using your animagus forms again," Remus says with finality.

"No," I say. "Remus, we worked too damn hard to use it for _one night_. When we set out to do this, we meant for it to be permanent. We want to be able to help you. Look how happy you were when you walked in here. We want you to be happy like that all the time. We made one mistake and we won't make it again. You're not dangerous around us, you didn't cause any harm. We aren't going to give this up. This is three years in the making here."

At the end of my speech, the common room goes silent. Remus looks over at me with a ferocity that I've never seen before, and I think it was because he knew he lost. He knew we weren't going to give up on him, and he wasn't okay with that.

"Just don't… do anything stupid next time," he says. "And if another one of you gets hurt, I _won't _allow it, you hear me? It won't happen ever again."

"Yes, Remus," I say, nodding my head. "Agreed."

Sirius and Peter both nod their heads in agreement.

"Thank you, guys," Remus says. "For everything."

"You're welcome," Sirius says, wincing yet again.

"Come on, let's go get you cleaned up. I have some dittany up in the dorm," Remus says, walking over to help Sirius stand. How curious, to watch the roles be reversed.

After we carried Sirius up the dorm and Remus started his handiwork on his wound, Tonks sidles up next to me at the threshold.

"I just wanted to say thanks."

"For?"

"Helping his life not become a living hell," she admits, watching her boyfriend carefully from afar. "He is so happy."

"How can you tell?" I ask.

"Can't you?" she asks, smiling warmly. "Just watch him. He walks different, he doesn't look as pained. You changed his life in one night."

"We had to," I say. "We couldn't watch him suffer anymore."

"Isn't it strange," she starts, tilting her head curiously. "to watch the roles being reversed."

"I was just thinking the same thing, actually," I admit, chuckling.

We stand there for a few more moments, watching this peaceful scene play out. When Remus is done, Sirius sits up slowly and places a hand on his bandaged side.

"Thanks, mate," he says, beaming.

"You're welcome," Remus replies. "Just returning the favor."

XXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Tonks's POV*_Later that week, Remus and I are walking hand and hand down a corridor to lunch. He has a slight spring in his step and a silly smile across his face.

"Why are you so happy?" I ask jokingly.

"I am so lucky," he admits. "I was thinking about it earlier. I have a beautiful, fantastic, loving girlfriend that I love with all my heart. I have the best friends in the entire world that risked their lives to better mine. I have the chance to come and learn here at this magnificent school. I have a wonderful, loving, supportive brother. I have so much, when others have so little. Even though I'm a lycanthrope, there are many others less fortunate than I am. I am so, so lucky."

"That's a beautiful way to think about it," I say, wrapping my arm around his. He kisses my hair, and we continue down the corridor to the Great Hall. We cherish these precious moments, because both of us know, all good things must come to an end.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

Hey guys!

Sorry this one might be a little bit short :/ Just a little transition chapter!

Soooo please please please review guys! This story needs some loving! :D Reviews help me get through my horrible day! D:

Love you all!

xoxo


	65. Chapter 64

"_A woman knows the face of the man she loves as a sailor knows the open sea."-Honore de Balzac_

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Tonks's POV* *Earlier that same week*_

"Come on, wake up, Tonks! We're going to be late for O.W.L. prep!"

"Lily," I groan. "Leave me be, it's Monday."

"I'm leaving without you then," she threatens. I roll over and hear the dorm door open then close. I groan again.

"Lydia," I call.

"What?"

"Why is she in such a piss-y mood today?" I ask, sitting up and glancing at the clock; yeah, I was late. I scramble out of bed and rush to get my uniform together.

"I don't know," Lydia admits. "Maybe it's her time of the month or something."

"SHIT," I exclaim, falling over while trying to pull my socks on. I rub my head and stand up. "You can go without me, I'll just make you late."

"Are you sure?" Lydia asks.

"Yeah, totally," I say, pulling my hair up into a quick ponytail.

"Alright," she says, heading to the door. "See you later!"

"I'll be down soon!"

Honestly, I should just get used to being late, running down the corridor to get to breakfast in time to actually eat.

"There she is!" James exclaims as I rush in. "We're almost done."

"Sorry," I say, blushing. "I didn't want to wake up today."

"Oh believe me, me either," Sirius mutters, pushing his eggs around with his fork.

"You're not eating?" I ask.

"I'm not really hungry."

"Sirius, you're always hungry," I argue. He gives me a sarcastic look. "You need to go see Madam Pomfrey."

"I said no, Tonks," he says, wincing.

"When it gets infected-"

"It's not going to get infected!" he argues. He looks to James. "What do you think, James?"

"Well… if this were normal circumstances, I would say yeah, you need to go to the Hospital Wing. But, you're right, we can't let anyone know about it," he admits. I sigh.

"You haven't said much," I turn to Remus. He sits up from reading a book in his lap.

"What?"

"I said you haven't said much," I say, shoveling eggs into my mouth.

"Oh," he says, chuckling. "Well, actually, I've been reading up on wounds inflicted by magical plants."

"And what have you found out?" James asks.

"Nothing really," he admits. "I haven't gotten to the Whomping Willow section yet, I got a little sidetracked."

"By?"

"Uhh, the whole book," he admits, blushing. "I've never read anything on magical plants before, and they're actually really interesting."

"Of course they are," Sirius mutters. "Hurry up, please. I can't take this much longer."

"Alright, alright," Remus says, looking back down into his lap.

Soon, the bell rings, signaling the beginning of the day.

"Off to O.W.L. prep, yay!" James says sarcastically, standing up.

"Help me up, mate," Sirius calls. James turns back around and grabs his outstretched hand, pulling him up."

"Phew, thanks," Sirius says, gaining his footing. We then follow Peter out of the Hall and up the marble staircase, Sirius slightly lagging behind, limping.

"Just go back to the dorm, " James calls as we wait for him at the top of a stairwell.

"No, no, I'm fine," he assures us. James rolls his eyes.

We arrive to O.W.L. prep just on time. Professor McGonagall eyes us suspiciously as the bell rings. Remus and I take a seat in the last row, leaving James, Sirius, and Peter to scramble for open seats. James slides hastily into one across the aisle from Remus and I, and Peter jumps into another next to Marlene.

"Mr. Black," Professor McGonagall calls from the front of the room.

"Yes?" he groans. He stands stranded in middle of the aisle, a hand plastered on his injured side.

"What on earth is the problem?"

"Nothing," he says. "I just can't find a seat."

Professor McGonagall makes a face then points to a seat in the front row. Sirius shrugs his shoulders then continues up to take his seat, defeated.

"Thanks, Minnie."

James, Peter, Remus, and I are almost cracking our ribs laughing. Sirius turns around and gives us a dirty look. Professor McGonagall clears her throat and he turns right back around to face the front of the class.

O.W.L. prep makes all of our brains melt; remembering all these different spells, and dates of historical importance, and wand movements, and potion ingredients, and a billion other things I honestly don't care about. As we pack up our things to leave, even Remus looks mentally exhausted.

"Wait for me!" Sirius calls, hobbling up the aisle.

"Mr. Black!"

"Yes, Minnie?"

"How many times have I told you not to call me that, Mr. Black?" Professor McGonagall says, annoyed. "What is wrong with your side?"

"Nothing," Sirius lies, too quickly.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes," he replies. "I'm fine, just… tired."

"Alright," Professor McGonagall says, although you can tell she really doesn't believe him. She lets it slide anyways. "You may go."

We all rush from the classroom and don't say a thing until we're a safe distance away.

"How did she know?" Sirius asks incredulously.

"Well, I dunno," James says sarcastically. "Maybe it was you hobbling around like a goblin."

"Was it _that_ bad?"

"Yes!" James exclaims, chuckling.

"Oh, shite," Sirius mutters, putting a hand on his side again.

Soon, we get stuck behind a group of 7th years moving like sloths down the corridor. Sirius rolls his eyes, James starts making motions behind them, and I get frustrated. So, in my normal, sassy fashion, I start whistling behind them.

"Would you like me to slow down?!" the big, scary-looking 7th year boy exclaims, glancing over his shoulder to look at me.

"Yeah, I would!" I retort, and suddenly, I've run right into him; the idiot stopped right in the middle of the corridor. I back up and walk around them to join my friends again, casting a dirty look over my shoulder.

"You little bitch," James mutters, laughing.

"That was awesome," Sirius agrees.

"My little spitfire," Remus chuckles, grabbing my hand. I smile widely.

"That's me!"

After laughing about my encounter, we travel out to the banks of the Black Lake under our favorite tree. It's a free period, and we all want to enjoy the last bit of summer before fall rolls in. James and Sirius discuss the upcoming Quidditch tryouts, Peter listens intently, and Remus and I sit behind them by ourselves, taking this opportunity to just relax. I couldn't be more content.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Remus's POV*_

The present is wrapped, the card is signed, and they're both sitting waiting under my bed. I'm ready for Tonks's birthday tomorrow, and I plan to make it the best ever.

"Come on, Remus!" James begs. "Tell us what you got her!"

"No, guys! It's a surprise!" I insist, chuckling. It's late in the evening, but no one has any desire to go to bed; James sits, eating chocolate frogs on his four-poster, Peter lays stretched out on the floor, and Sirius is curled up on his bed, flippantly reading a Muggle sports magazine. He is still recovering from the wound in his side, but it's much, much better. He needs to recover fully soon, for the full moon is only a few days away.

"It's a surprise for her, not us!" Peter argues.

"You'll tell her," I say. "I know you guys, you can't keep a secret."

"Yes we can!" James exclaims. "Name one time we gave away a secret!"

"You guys told Tonks that I was a werewolf!"

"Oh… yeah…" James admits sadly, looking down into his lap.

"We can keep it this time," Peter insists.

"Why do you want to know so badly anyway?" I ask, flipping a page of the book about magical plant-inflicted wounds.

"Because we're neb-noses, that's why," Sirius says, rolling over to face us with a grunt. "Uh, that wasn't a good idea."

"Be more careful, Padfoot," James calls.

"What the hell did you just call me?"

"Padfoot."

"Why?" he asks incredulously.

"Think about it," James says, rolling his eyes. "Your animagus is a…?"

"Dog."

"And dogs have…?"

"Padded feet. Holy shite, that's brilliant, James!" he exclaims, slowly sitting up. "You need a nickname now, too."

"I was actually thinking about that earlier, but I couldn't come up with anything," James admits. "Stagman?"

"No, that's just idiotic," I say, laughing.

"Fine, what do you think then, Moony?" he asks, folding his arms in indignation. I think hard for a moment about a stag. Stags are big, graceful, majestic creatures with… huge antlers.

"Prongs."

"Prongs?"

"Yeah, Prongs. Think about it!" I explain. "Stags have antlers, duh."

"Good one, Lupin!" James exclaims, beaming at my intelligence.

"What about me?" Peter pipes up.

"Ratface?" James suggests.

"No, that's stupid," Sirius says, rolling his eyes. He looks down into his lap for a moment. "Wormtail!"

"Oh, I get it!" I say, thinking about Peter's rat tail.

"We are _so_ smart," James says, chuckling.

"Okay, so Moony-" Sirius points to me, "-Wormtail-" he points to Peter, "-Padfoot-" he points to himself, "-and Prongs," he points to James.

"Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs," I say with finality. "It has a nice ring to it."

"The elite four!" James exclaims.

"The what?" Sirius asks incredulously.

"The elite four, that's our group name!" James explains.

"No, we are _not_ being called the 'elite four,'" I say, chuckling. "We need something cooler than that."

"Let me sleep on it," Sirius says. "I'll think of something."

"Speaking of sleep," James says. "I want to go to bed. Goodnight!"

"Goodnight Prongs!" Sirius calls.

"Goodnight Padfoot!"

"Goodnight Moony!"

"Goodnight Padfoot."

"Goodnight Wormtail!"

"Goodnight Padfoot."

"Goodnight guys!

"GOOD. NIGHT. PADFOOT."

"Sorry!"

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Hey guys!

Don't have much to say! Like it? Dislike it?!

Some people said Tonks was OOC in the last chapter or so. I need a little help understanding why! So if someone could clarify, that would be great!

Love you all! (:

Reviews are for it being my birthday on Sunday! (:

xoxo


	66. Chapter 65

"_Open your door,I'll be your tenantDon't got much baggage to lay at your feetBut sweet kisses I've got to spareI'll be there and I'll cover you"_

_-Tom Collins, from the musical _Rent.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

*_Remus's POV*_

"Wake up, scumbag."

My eyes flutter open and I see my beautiful girlfriend seated at the edge of my bed, laughing at her own joke. She wears her hair bright pink and to her shoulders today, crazy, beautiful curls all over the place. They bounce as she laughs, and I blush looking at her. Her oversized sweater hangs loosely around her torso, the perfect color of cream to compliment her skin. Her feet are clad in a pair of black combat boots, large and chunky, yet somehow so cool. Suddenly, I've sat up and flung myself at her playfully, tackling her to the foot of the bed.

"Happy birthday!" I yell as I do this. She breaks out in a fit of giggles as I plant little kisses all over her face. "Now, why did you call me scumbag?!"

"Stop it!" she laughs, trying to push me away. "You wouldn't wake up!"

"Oh, don't think you're getting out of this Nymphadora," I say jokingly, continuing my attack. "These are birthday kisses!"

"Remus!" she cries out, her hands pushing playfully at my chest. "I'm laughing so hard I can't breathe!"

"Oh," I say, and cease fire. "Sorry, love."

"It's not over!" I hear from the other side of room, and suddenly, two heavy bodies are piled on top of me and Tonks. "BIRTHDAY PILE UP."

"Stop it!" Tonks calls from under the pile of bodies. "What did I do to deserve this?!"

"We just love you so much-" Sirius says from the top of the stack. "-that we decided to give you the best gift we could think of. Ourselves."

"That's the best you can do?" she asks, voice strained.

"Well, there's nothing better than a Sirius Black and a James Potter," Sirius says in a very Sirius fashion.

"Okay guys, get up this is starting to hurt," I mumble, feeling as if my lungs were about to collapse in on themselves. James and Sirius roll off us on either side, both falling smack on the floor.

"DAMN YOU CONCRETE!" Sirius exclaims, rubbing his sore ribs.

"Phew I can finally breathe!" Tonks says, sitting up, still beaming. Her face is flushed and her eyes shine as bright as two diamonds.

"Did you like our present, Tonksie?" James asks, standing up, nursing his wrist.

"Very much so," she says, standing and going to kiss him on his cheek. "Thank you!"

"Ehem?" Sirius clears his throat.

"Thank you, too," she says, smiling and kissing him on the cheek as well. She comes back over to me on the bed. "And a very special thanks to _you._"

She leans in and places a long, passionate kiss on my lips.

"OW OW!" James and Sirius catcall.

"Oh, shut up, you two," I say as we pull apart. "We aren't first years any longer."

"I still am at heart," James says, smirking. "Wait, Remus, you just kissed a girl. COOTIES!"

"Shut it," I say, laughing playfully.

"What the hell is going on?" Peter asks groggily from his bed.

"It's Tonksie's birthday!" James exclaims, rushing over and pulling Peter out of bed and onto the floor. "Did you forget, Wormtail?"

"No," he says, curling up into a ball. "I'm just used to being able to sleep in on Saturdays."

"Oh, shove off," Sirius says. "This day is going to be special!"

"Go be special somewhere else," he says, burying his face in his arms.

"Killjoy," Sirius mutters under his breath. "Fine, we're going to breakfast!"

"If you wake up, and you have no idea where we are, well… sucks to be you," James says, not even bothering to pull on shoes as he struts from the dorm, Sirius on his heels. I look over at her and extend a hand. She smiles widely and grabs it, prancing from the room as well, dragging me behind her.

We parade through the common room, Sirius and James making sure everyone knows it's Tonks's birthday. She told them to stop it, but you know how stubborn they are. Now, she just blushes, burying her face into my shoulder as we follow them out the portrait hole.

"I am going to get so much revenge on your birthdays," she says as we continue down a corridor.

"Go ahead," James replies. "It won't phase me one bit."

"Damn you and your cockiness," she mutters, chuckling.

When we finally reach the Great Hall, James and Sirius pull a bench out for her and push it in, like gentlemen. I chuckle.

"You do realize she's _my_ girlfriend, right?" I ask, taking a seat beside her.

"Oh, of course we do," James says. "We just don't have girlfriends of our own to embarrass on their birthday, so we just embarrass our little sister."

We all take a seat and suddenly, James raises his goblet full of pumpkin juice.

"To Nymphadora-"

"Hey!"

"-Vulpeca-"

"Stop it!"

"-Tonks on her 15th birthday! And to many more!" he finishes, and we all down our drinks.

Breakfast is… interesting. James and Sirius have to be geniuses. Somehow, they bewitch a pair of waffles to come alive and start dancing and singing to Tonks. As you can imagine, Professor McGonagall isn't pleased.

"Minnie!" Sirius calls as she approaches, her lips very, very thin.

"Mr. Black-"

"Oh, I know the drill, Minnie," he says charmingly. He picks up a falsetto voice. "_Mr. Black, how many times have I told you not to call me that?" _

"Many times," she mutters, annoyed. "And what was that display there, Mr. Potter?"

"Professor, it's Tonks's birthday!"

"Happy birthday, Ms. Tonks," she says to her, who smiles and says thank you. "But that is no excuse for using magic outside of class. 10 points from Gryffindor."

"Really, Minnie?" Sirius whines. "On her birthday?"

"Yes, Mr. Black," she says. "Have a good day." And she walks away.

"Gonna take points from your own effing house, huh?" Sirius retorts, standing up and making a very rude gesture to her back. Thankfully no one saw. "Oh, Minnie."

We all start cracking up, not being able to eat for we all would choke. I can tell from the way her face is lighting up that she's having a great day. You can tell that about a person after so long. I've known her for over four years now, haven't I?

After breakfast, we go outside to experience a chill October morning. We walk laps around the lake, scarves whipping around our heads, shoes digging in the mud. James and Sirius find joy in throwing rocks into the lake, watching the Giant Squid chase after them like a dog. Tonks even starts involving herself in their play, and before I know it, I'm chucking rocks into the black waters as well, laughing my head off.

No one really remembers how it happens, or exactly when, but at some point, we all notice that we're soaking wet and freezing. Somehow, the splashes must have hit us and dampened our clothes. That's when we decide it would be best if we went inside for lunch. But not before Sirius gets pushed all the way in.

James and Sirius are rough housing, as they always do, up ahead of me and Tonks. I have my arms wrapped tightly around her shoulders, rubbing them, trying to get her shivering body warm. We really aren't paying attention, as we are so concentrated on each other, that out of no where, we hear a great splash and a fit of ravenous laughter.

We look up to see Sirius running out of the Black Lake, soaked to the bone, screaming bloody murder at James, who is nearly in stitches with laughter. Both of us start to laugh fiercely as Sirius chases James around, trying to push him into the lake as well. Sadly, he fails, and James makes it back to the castle unscathed.

We sit down to eat a hot, warming lunch, but not without incident. James sits next to Sirius, still chuckling occasionally, and Sirius throws a spoonful of hot soup at him.

Suddenly, James's eyes light up with an idea, which is _never_ a good sign. He smirks mischievously and leans over to Sirius, whispering. Sirius listens intently, looking at me and Tonks, smirking. When James is done, Sirius nods, and they both go back to what they were doing. But not for long.

"So, uh, Tonks, are you ready for some BIRTHDAY SEX?!" James yells as loudly as he possibly can. Several heads at the Gryffindor table turn in our direction, looking confused and amused. I feel my face burn bright red and I tighten my grip on her hand.

"Yeah," Sirius chimes in. "I think the best part about your birthday is the BIRTHDAY SEX!" This time, more people turn curiously to look at us. I feel my face go even a darker scarlet than it already was.

"Guys," Tonks mutters, her face the same shade as mine, maybe even darker. "That's not funny!"

"What?" James asks, still loudly and stupidly. "BIRTHDAY SEX isn't funny?"

Soon, we have created a distraction in the Great Hall, tables full of jeering faces turned our way.

"James, Sirius," I say, quietly and forcefully. "Stop it. You guys, we don't…. we aren't…"

"Oh, we know," James says, laughing very hard along with Sirius. "We just had to mess with you."

Tonks tries to smile, but is still quite embarrassed. I wrap my arm around her shoulders and pull her close. She smiles and contracts into my embrace.

"Like I said, be ready for the revenge of your lives on your birthdays," she warns again, the blushing receding.

After lunch, we travel back up the common room for a relaxing afternoon. We all change into comfier clothes and take a seat in front of the fire in our favorite spot. I have Tonks wrapped tightly in my arms, her whole body leaned up against mine. James and Sirius occupy another couch, looking over a sheet of paper they won't let anyone see. Peter sits opposite them, watching and listening, feeling a bit awkward after this morning.

Afternoon rolls into evening, and decide it's time to give Tonks her present. I whisper in her ear:

"Come on, your present is up in my dorm."

She smiles widely, turning back to face me. "Alright."

We get up to leave and get bombarded with questions.

"Where are you going?" James asks, looking up from his work.

"To the dorm," I answer, holding her hand tightly. "To open her present."

James and Sirius start to get up. I cut them off.

"I think it would be nice if it was just me and Tonks, okay? We need a little alone time."

"BIRTHDAY-"

"NO! Not that!" I exclaim, chuckling. "We'll be back down."

"Have fun kids," Sirius says, waving us off. I tighten my grip on her hand and start pulling her away from the fire to the spiral staircase. She willingly obliges, and wraps her arm around mine, smiling as I lead her up the staircases and into my dorm.

"Now," I say, turning to face her once the door is closed. "You have to close your eyes."

"Close my eyes?" she asks, cocking an eyebrow. I nod. "Okay…" And she does.

I turn and grab her present from under the bed, fixing the bow and offering it on one hand like a silver platter. "Okay, open your eyes!"

Her eyes flicker open and land on the box in my hand. She smiles and takes it, gazing at it with an intensity I've never seen before. "Open the card first." She nods, pulling the white parchment from the envelope, unfolding it, and reading it slowly. I can still remember what it says.

_To my dearest Nymphadora,_

_Happy 15__th__ birthday, love. I hope this is the best day of your life, and I intend to make it that way. You have no idea how much you mean to me, and how much I love you. Without you, I would be nothing but a bookworm lycanthrope. You make my life beautiful and special in any way you can. _

_I have never seen a more beautiful girl than you in my entire life. Your eyes, your hair, your smile, all make me melt. If you ever catch me staring at you, that's why. I don't think I will ever fully recognize your beauty, because I haven't been able to for four years. It baffles me everyday. _

_So with this, dear Nymphadora, I bid you farewell. I know you don't like being called that, but I think it's beautiful. I hope you can realize how much you mean to me in this card. I hope this brightens even your worst days when you reread it later on. Life is an adventure, darling, and I wouldn't want to be journeying with anyone else._

_Yours always, always, always, _

_Remus Lupin_

When she's done, I notice her fingering her necklace, tears sparkling in her eyes. She sniffles and folds it up, pushing it into her pocket. She then turns to me and speaks.

"That was… awesome," she says, laughing. "I'm crying because I'm happy. I'm crying because everything you said is exactly how I feel about you. I'm crying because I love you."

"And I, you," I say, kissing her forehead lightly. She looks up at me and smiles. Her arms find her away around my neck and we start slow dancing to no music, just the beat of our hearts, her actual present laying forgotten on my bed.

"I've been thinking," she says, biting her lip.

"About?"

"What James and Sirius said at lunch."

"What? Sirius flinging hot soup at James?" I ask, chuckling.

"No," she says, shaking her head. "What they were shouting."

I freeze and my eyes widen.

"Nymphadora-"

"Oh, I knew you would react like that," she says, looking distraught. "I know you, Remus."

"Tonks," I say evenly. "I couldn't… I wouldn't… we're… no."

She snorts, smiling even wider. "You're so literate."

"I'm being serious," I say, looking down at her with finality. "Tonks, you know I couldn't. And it's not that I don't love you enough it's just… we're fifteen."

"I see," she says, blushing. "As I said, I was just thinking. I wasn't asking you to do anything."

"I know you weren't, sweetheart. Just please remember what I said," I say, kissing her on the cheek. I let my lips linger there as I whisper, "When the time comes, I'll be more than pleased to do so."

"I was being silly," she says as I pull away. She rolls her eyes at herself, looking away.

"No," I say, turning her to face me again. "It's good to… discuss when dealing with something like this."

"Thanks, love," she says, nuzzling her head into my neck. I rub my hand up and down her back, smiling.

"You are more than welcome," I say, closing my eyes in content. "And happy birthday."

"I love you," she says as a response.

"I love you more."

We continue our odd, music-less dance, for a long, long time. The sky becomes dark and the stars come out. The dorm is dim and quiet, the stars and moon the only light in our beautiful, little world.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Hey guys! Crazy weekend, sorry!

THANK YOU ALL SOOOO MUCH FOR THE BIRTHDAY WISHES! You have no idea how much this means to me. I love you guys so much and could never thank you enough for loving and reviewing this story.

So, this chapter? (ps, this is an extra long one! :D) I'm working very hard on making Tonks in character, which is very, very hard to do with a girl madly in love.

Are you guys getting sick of Remus chapters? And are you getting sick of all the marauders stuff?

Okay I think that's it! Have a lovely, lovely, lovely Wednesday guys, and PLEASE don't forget to review! (:

xoxo

Ps. For all of you who've been with me since the beginning, I've been reading through all the old reviews lately! It seems like an eternity ago! I thank you from the bottom of my heart, all of you! Even if you are new to this story, I can't thank you enough! *hugs*


	67. Chapter 66

"_Life's too short, babe, time is flyingI'm looking for baggage that goes with mine" - Mimi, from the musical _Rent.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Tonks's POV*_

"It's beginning to look a lot like CHRISTMAS!"

"Eveeeeeeerywhereeeeee, you goooo!"

James and Sirius get _way_ too excited for Christmas every year. It's not even December yet, and they're already parading down the halls, decked out in their gear and singing Christmas carols, while Remus and I keep a safe distance behind, pretending we don't know them.

"Sing with me, Tonksie!" Sirius exclaims, running back and slinging his arm around my shoulders.

"Yeah, come on!" James chimes in, attaching to Remus so the four of us are in a line, Remus and I trapped in the middle. "You know the song!"

"It's beginning to look a lot…." I start, unsure, feeling a bit awkward. "Like… Christmas!"

James and Sirius look at each other, shaking their heads. "Good try," Sirius assures me. "Go, Remus!"

"Eveeeeeerywhereeeee, you gooooo!" Remus sings boldly. James and Sirius stop in the middle of the hall, pausing for a second, then burst out in applause.

"Good job, mate!" James says as people run into him from behind. "I'm proud of you."

"Balls to the walls, Moony," Sirius says. "Fantastic."

"Hey, I thought I sounded pretty good!" I argue.

"Ehh…." Sirius says, making a face as the bell rings. I give him a dirty look. "I'm just kidding, chickadee!"

"You better be," I warn as we enter late into O.W.L. prep.

"Ah, here they are, the main attractions," Professor McGonagall comments as we take our usual seats in the back. "I would like to warn you that-"

"We know, we mustn't be tardy again," Sirius says, rolling his eyes. "Minnie, the corridors are so crowded, it's difficult to get thr-"

"No excuses, Mr. Black," she says, gliding down the aisles, passing out packets to everyone. I don't realize how big it is until it hits my desk with a THUMP.

"Wow," Sirius breathes as the pack slams onto his desk, too. "What is this, Minnie?"

"Career Advice," Professor McGonagall answers plainly, to the whole class. "As you all know, it is tradition that the 5th years meet with their heads of house each year to discuss their future before the O.W.L.'s. Now, after saying that, you all have the pleasure of getting to meet with me."

"Boo!" Sirius calls jokingly; I throw a paper ball at his head. Professor McGonagall doesn't seem to notice, and she just continues talking.

"Now, how many of you here have any idea as to what you would like to do after you graduate from Hogwarts?" she asks, and a few people raise their hands, including Remus and James. Sirius and I look at the two of them incredulously.

"You honestly know what you want to do?" Sirius whispers to James.

"I have an idea," James admits, smirking.

"Well I don't!" Sirius whines, crossing his arms as McGonagall proceeds with her lecture.

"It's okay, Sirius," I whisper. "I don't have any idea either."

And, I am being honest when I say this. I haven't put very much thought into what I would like to do after Hogwarts. Well, no thought actually. I know of the many jobs you _can_ do, most of them dealing with the Ministry, but I really don't know much about any of them. I know this is a bad thing, as I am going to take my O.W.L.'s in a few months.

"Now, I would like you all to open the packet I gave you," McGonagall says. The room is filled with rustling paper and we all see that the first couple pages are a huge list. Of jobs. "This is a complete list of jobs you may want to consider. The remainder of the packet gives more detail about each one, such as how much it pays, what it entails, etc. It's in alphabetical order. I would like you all to compile me a list of five jobs you might consider, and a few details about them. The rest of the class time is yours."

"Great, that means we get to goof off," Sirius says, flipping his packet closed.

"Oh, come on, Padfoot," James pleads. "It's not going to take that long."

"Fine, Prongs," Sirius says, rolling his eyes, flipping his packet back open.

I turn my attention to the list itself, and my eyes widen. There has to be over a couple hundred jobs in this packet. I hastily scan the last few pages, seeing if anything catches my eye. Wizengamot, Department of Magical Transportation, Department of Mysteries… Nothing seems interesting. I sigh heavily and turn to Remus.

"What are you looking into?" I ask quietly. The whole classroom is silent, save the scratching of quills and rustling of paper. He looks down at his paper, reading it over carefully before answering.

"I want to teach," he admits, still looking down at his paper. "But… it's going to be very, very hard for me to get work."

"Why?" I ask. He looks at me sadly then I realize. "Oh…."

"Yeah," he says, setting his quill down. "Even in the Muggle world, I'll struggle. If I miss a ton of work and I can't give them a better reason than 'I'm sick' they'll fire me. And… well you realize the other problem. Prejudice."

"I'm sure you'll be able to find something!" I say, trying to bring his spirits up. "If Dumbledore let you in to learn, I'm sure he'll let you in to teach if you really wanted to."

"He's not the problem," Remus explains. "It's the parents. What parent wants their child taught by a… someone like me."

I don't know how to answer that, so I just sit in silence, watching him mull it over in his mind. He looks disappointed, sad even. Everyone around him is planning their own future careers while this is practically a waste of time to him. I would never tell him that, but it's true. He got in the school to learn, but now that that time's almost over, he probably won't be able to get in to teach.

"What makes you want to teach?" I ask absentmindedly, doodling on the corner of my parchment.

"Honestly… I don't even know!" he explains, face lighting up. "I would love to be able to share my knowledge with kids. I would love to see them learn new things and grow up. I would like to have a positive impact on someone's life, even it was only for a year."

"I think you would be a brilliant teacher," I admit, stopping my doodling and looking up at him with shining eyes.

"Really? You think so?" he asks, considering me with a smirk. "Why?"

"You're smart… bookish… kind. I think the kind part is the most important. You are very reasonable and logical, and I think you'd be able to explain anything beautifully. You have to patient when working with kids, and believe me, you are. Does that make any sense?"

"Of course," he says, smiling proudly.

"I would hire you," I say, chuckling, turning back to the packet.

"Thanks, love," he says, planting a kiss on my cheek. "Now, get back to work, slacker."

"Oh, shove off," I say playfully back at him. He beams.

I take his advice and turn back to the bloody packet. I figure I should probably start from the beginning, so I flip back to the front page and start reading. As I scan the list, nothing grabs my attention until I get the end of the 'A' category.

_Auror._

For some odd reason, this simple word jumps out at me. I hastily flip to the back of packet where we can find the explanations.

_Auror-__ Our mission is simple: to pursue and apprehend Dark wizards. _

I raise my eyebrow and snort at this description. It has to be the shortest one in the entire packet, just one little sentence. Yet, somehow, it speaks a novel. Something about this stirs _something_ inside of me, and I hastily write it down on my parchment. When I've finished, I continue to stare at it for several seconds, watching the ink dry. Professor McGonagall starts stalking up and the down the aisle, looking over shoulders, so I hurry up to write a few more down, though none of the others mean anything compared to the Auror.

The bell soon rings, bringing an end to our torture. As we all crowd around Professor McGonagall's desk, trying to hand our papers in, the five of us discuss what he wrote down. Peter admits that he didn't even finish two; Remus tells about teaching and a few other, super-smart jobs; finally it comes to James and Sirius and they both say the same thing.

"Auror."

"How weird, I wrote down Auror, too!" I exclaim, handing Professor McGonagall my paper.

"Can you imagine how bad ass we're going to be as Aurors, guys?" Sirius day dreams as we leave the classroom and enter the crowded corridor.

"I can only imagine," James says, not paying attention and actually tripping over a fourth year girl. "Sirius Black, James Potter, and Nymphadora Tonks: bettering society one dark wizard at a time."

"That's a good slogan," I admit, chuckling.

We continue to lunch, the whole class still buzzing with excitement from the assignment.

"I would have never thought so many people would get excited over a stupid class," James mutters, eavesdropping on the conversation of two black-haired Ravenclaws.

"We live in a crazy world, mate," Sirius says, taking a seat at the Gryffindor table.

"Indeed, we do," Remus agrees, piling his plate high with food.

"Holy shit, love," I say as he shovels it all into his mouth.

"Tonks, I'm starving," he explains. "The… you-know-what is soon."

"Oh, that's right, I forgot," I say, laughing. "I forgot you eat like a maniac when it gets close. We should just start calling it FMS, full moon syndrome."

With this, our entire table starts cracking up, trying to swallow half chewed food.

"Remus, you've got yourself a keeper, there!" Sirius exclaims many moments later.

"I know I do," Remus admits, wrapping an arm around my shoulders as the laughter dies down. "So FMS, is it? Or it could be PES, pissed at everything syndrome."

"That's a good one, too!" James exclaims, chuckling. "Or it could be your time of the month."

"That makes me sound like I'm on my period," Remus says, rolling his eyes. "No."

"Or your 'furry little problem!'" James says, trying to make a witty comeback. "Get it? Cause like, you're furry…."

"I actually like it," Sirius admits, high-fiving his friend. "Nice one."

"Yeah, I'm pretty quick-witted," James says, mocking dusting his shoulders off in arrogance.

"You're such an asshole," Sirius mutters, chuckling. "Self-worship."

"Look who's talking!" James exclaims. "Mr. I-stand-in-front-of-the-mirror-for-two-hours-every-morning!"

Remus snorts.

"I do _not_!" Sirius argues, blushing. "It's only for like…" He trails off, unable to finish his sentence.

"Exactly, a ridiculous amount of time."

"Remus, do I-"

"Yes."

"Damn. Guys, looking this good takes a while."

"Only because of how bad you start out!" James exclaims, laughing at his own joke. Soon, even Sirius is laughing along, the five of us completely forgetting about the stress and fear we all felt in the last hour. Now, our future doesn't even seem relevant. We're living in the moment, taking it one step at a time.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Hey guys!

Like this, dislike it? Review please! (:

Getting tired of Rent quotes? LOL because I'm not! #theatrekidprobs. And yes, I just used a hashtag on fan fiction! :D

So, I hope you all are having lovely days! Have a good week! I love you all so much! :D

xoxo

Ps. I think I might start a little contest! To see who can tell me the name of the song both of the quotes from Rent have been! If you get it right, I'll give you a shout out in my next chapter, just to see if I'm the only musical theatre nerd out there! *hugs*


	68. Chapter 67

"_If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day so I never have to live without you."-A. A. Milne_

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Tonks's POV*_

I can officially say it's acceptable for James and Sirius to celebrate they way do, since it's only three two weeks until Christmas. You can't help but feel jolly when you're around them, singing their heads off, trying to pump up everyone around them for the holidays.

One night, we're sitting around, doing a mass amount of homework in the common room, snow falling heavily outside the window. I'm honestly about to pound my head off the coffee table because I don't understand potions at all. Remus tries to help me, but my brain can't process it for some reason. I need a break, and James makes sure that is going to happen. He leans over and whispers something to Sirius, who nods, then stands up onto the coffee table.

"Attention! Attention, please!" he calls over the noise. Everyone stops whatever they were doing and looks expectantly up at James. "Thank you! So, how is everyone?!"

No one responds.

"Okay… Well, I would just like to announce that Sirius Black and I will be throwing a Christmas party here the night before break! So be there!" An awkward pause. "And tell everyone that isn't here about it!" Another pause. "Thank you, have a lovely holiday!" And he jumps down.

"Christmas party?" I ask as he takes his seat once again.

"Yeah, why not?" he says. "The first party was awesome, wasn't it?"

"Well, yeah," I admit.

"Then this should be great, too, right?!" he says excitedly. "We should get some food and drinks from the Three Broomsticks, or something," he mutters to Sirius.

"We're gonna have food at this party?" Remus questions. "Damn, I'll be there then."

"Of course!" James exclaims. "We need to upgrade from our last party. We have music, food, people…. That's about it."

"Decorations," I add, indicating all the garland and ornaments already placed throughout the common room. "It'll be fine."

"Yeah, I'm not worried," James admits, sitting back in his seat with his hands behind his head. "It'll be fun."

"Definitely," I agree, nodding my head and smiling. "Back to work, I suppose."

I sigh.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

_*One week later*_

"I promise, we'll only be 15 minutes," James says as he and Sirius throw his invisibility cloak over them. Yeah, I know about the invisibility cloak, just in case you were wondering. We're all sitting around in the boy's dorm about an hour before the party is supposed to start. Remus is taking a nap on his bed, exhausted because the full moon was last night. I hold his hand, stroking his hair in his sleep as I listen to James and Sirius discus how they're going to bring the food back.

"Madam Rosmerta loves me, honestly," Sirius boasts from under the cloak. It's quite odd, not being able to see them but being able to listen to them. "She'll give us anything."

"Think so?" James asks.

"Yeah, of course!"

"Okay then, let's go!" James says again, and ominously, the dorm door opens then closes.

"How freaky is that?" I say in astonishment.

"So freaky," Peter agrees. "I didn't know we looked that odd."

We then lapse into an awkward silence; I continue to lay with Remus, while Peter attempts to wrap his mother's Christmas present.

"Damned tape," he mutters, pulling it off the wrapping paper and ruining it.

"Do you need help?" I offer. He thinks about it for a second then nods. I get up and travel over to his bed. "Do you have any more paper?"

"Yeah," he says, grabbing some from under his bed. "Here."

"Thanks," I say, ripping off the old, ruined paper and throwing it on the floor. "Honestly, I have no idea how to wrap a gift either. Maybe, with our combined failure, we'll get something nice."

"Maybe," he agrees, smiling, and we start wrapping the box again.

"What is it anyways?" I ask as he holds down a corner and I tape.

"A book about knitting," he admits. "I'm terrible at buying gifts."

"Why is it in a box?" I ask, confused. He freezes, eyes widening.

"Shit," he says, rolling his eyes at himself. "I'm so dumb."

"No," I say, trying to assure him. "It's fine. She'll love it."

"Thanks," he sighs. We tape the final corner, and he produces a bow. "Will this do?"

"Of course," I say, taking it and placing it on top. "There. I think it looks really nice."

We stop and admire our handiwork. It wasn't the neatest present ever, some corners creased and all the tape is visible, but it will do. He looks up at me and smiles.

"Thanks, Tonks," he says.

"You're welcome!" I reply, smiling as well. Peter and I never really had any sort of relationship, save him being in the same group of friends as me. But for some reason, today we could be called… friends, I guess. He's a little shy, but once you get to know him, he's something… special.

XXXXXXXXXXX

James and Sirius end up returning with the food within a half hour.

"We got it!" James exclaims from under the cloak, entering the dorm.

"We're geniuses!" Sirius adds, ripping off the cloak and pulling out a small, wooden crate.

"What did you get, one slice of bread?" I ask, eyeing the crate suspiciously.

"As I said," Sirius smirks. "We're geniuses."

He opens the crate and starts pulling out mass amounts of food like turkey legs, chips and dip, butterbeer, and much more.

"Unidentifiable extension charm?" I question.

"Yeah," James explains, pulling out even more food. "Madam Rosmerta did it for us."

The last item he pulls out surprises me.

"Firewhiskey?" I ask, cocking an eyebrow, taking the bottle from him.

"Yeah, why not?" Sirius replies, smirking. "It's only one bottle."

"Madam Rosmerta gave you this?" I question incredulously.

"Well… no," Sirius admits. "She was upstairs getting us some sandwiches, and there it was, laying innocently on the bar. So, I nicked it."

"You didn't!" I exclaim, examining the bottle in my hands. "She'll kill you for that, Sirius."

"She'll never know!" he declares, opening a bag of chips. "Did you know Fergus had a son?"

"Really?" I reply. "No, I didn't. You saw him?"

"Yeah!" James says. "It was his shift as waiter, but there was no one there so he sat and talked to us while we were waiting."

"When did he have a son?" I ask. "I didn't even know he was married."

"A few months ago," James explains. "His name is Stan."

"Stan…" I say, letting the name mull over in my mind. "It sounds right with him."

"Whassgoinon?" Remus suddenly pipes up groggily from his bed.

"We just got back with food," Sirius calls over to him. "For the party."

"From where?"

"Madam Rosmerta," Sirius explains, smirking. Remus doesn't reply, he just stands up and wanders over to where we have all the food laid out.

"Firewhiskey?" he asks, taking the bottle from me.

"Yeah, why not?" Sirius says, snatching it back from him.

"You're underage," Remus says, looking at him with annoyance. "And I'm a prefect."

"Remus, come on," Sirius says, hugging the bottle to his chest. "Don't be a killjoy."

"Give it to me," Remus says, extending his hand.

"Just one night, Remus! Just one bottle!" Sirius argues.

"Fine!" he exclaims. "But if you get drunk and get in trouble, I'm not covering your ass."

"I won't get in trouble, Moony," Sirius replies, setting the bottle on the bed once again.

"You better not," Remus warns, and goes back to flop on his bed.

"I'm gonna go put all this on a table," James says, shoving all the food back in the crate. "Wanna come help me, Wormtail?"

"Yeah, might as well," Peter replies, following James out the door and down the stairs. Sirius looks guiltily over at Remus, then turns to me and mouths: _Is he gonna turn me in?_ I shake my head and mouth back: _Of course not._ He nods, looking pleased.

"I'm gonna go help James," he says. "Be down on time."

"Of course I will be," I say, chuckling. "I need to go get ready anyways."

"Get ready?"

"I'm not going to the party in sweatpants!"

"Oh…." he says. "Right. Well, see you!"

"I'll be down soon!"

The door closes, the sound ringing in my head. Suddenly, Remus speaks behind me.

"Are they gone?" he asks.

"Yeah," I tell him, turning around. "Are you tired or something?" I ask jokingly.

"More than," he admits.

"Are you going to be able to make it to the party?" I ask.

"Of course," he says, smiling weakly as I sit on the edge of his bed.

"Good," I say, kissing him lightly on the lips. "I'll come get you when I'm about to go down."

"Thanks, love," he says, letting his eyes drift closed again.

"You're welcome," I mutter, then quietly pad from the room. I jog down the stairs and back up the other stairs to my dorm. When I enter, I find Lily and Lydia sitting on Lily's bed, talking, and Scarlet and May getting ready in front of the mirror across the room.

"Hey," I say breathlessly, rushing over to my dresser to pull out some clothes.

"What are you running around for?" Lily asks, eyeing me curiously.

"Trying to get ready for the party," I answer, pulling off my baggy sweatpants.

"You're actually going?"

"Of course," I reply, running over to her bed. "Can you zip my dress?"

She does. "I'm not."

"Why?!" I ask, pulling on socks.

"Because _Potter_ is throwing it," she replies, rolling her eyes. "You know how I feel about him."

"Of course I do," I mutter, rolling my eyes when my back is turned. "You're not even going to come down for a little bit?"

"No," she says with finality. "I don't want him all over me."

"I'll tell him not to bother you, if you want me to," I offer, smiling slightly.

"You don't have to," she says, looking down. "Thanks anyways."

"You're welcome," I say sadly, turning back to examine myself in the mirror. I scrunch up my face and turn my hair a bright, Christmas red. My hair goes wonderfully with my black dress, which falls to right above my knees. It's covered in black lace, intricate, yet somehow very rocker-chic. The top has two thick straps and a square neckline. My legs are covered in semi-transparent black tights, my feet clad in combat boots. I guess you could say it was a pretty odd outfit, but somehow, it looks fantastic in my eyes.

"You look beautiful, Tonks," Lily comments behind me. I turn around, beaming.

"Really?" I ask, blushing.

"Yeah," she says, getting up and coming to examine my dress. "Where did you get this?"

"Some Muggle store," I admit. "I got it over the summer."

"It's gorgeous," Lydia agrees, nodding her head.

"Thanks, guys," I say, pulling them both into a hug. "You can still come down if you want to!"

"Maybe," Lily says, smiling. "Maybe."

"See you guys later!" I call, prancing from the dorm.

"Have a good time!" they answer.

I prance from the room and over to Remus's dorm, filled with excitement. When I enter, he's still sleeping soundly on the bed, his face buried in his pillow; I chuckle. I consider leaving him there, to let him sleep for once, I but decide against it; he would want to go to the party with me. I quietly sneak over, so my mouth is right by his ear.

"Wake up, love. Time to go."

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Hey guys! (:

Thoughts?! Questions?! Concerns?!

If you guys asked any questions in reviews, well, I don't want to give anything away! My answer is, you'll see! I have a method to my madness! ;)

Love you all! Have a lovely, lovely, lovely, weekend! :D

PLEASE REVIEW!

xoxo


	69. Chapter 68

"_Love is a game that two can play and both win."-Eva Gabor_

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Tonks's POV*_

"Wake up, love. Time to go."

He sighs, then stirs, rolling onto his back to look up at me. He's smiling contently, his eyes staring hungrily into mine.

"Already?" he asks, his hand reaching up to caress my cheek.

"Yes, already," I say, chuckling. I place my hand over his, suppressing a smile. "James and Sirius will be wondering where we're at."

"I don't want to get up," he states, closing his eyes again.

"Come on, this is going to be fun," I coax. "There'll be dancing, and music, and food, and-"

"Just lay with me for a little bit, please?"

I stop and consider this for a moment. He looks so exhausted, and laying with him for a little while isn't a crime. I close my eyes and sigh.

"If you wish."

I lean over the edge of the bed and untie my combat boots, watching as they fall heavily to the floor with two THUMPs. I then turn and curl up next to Remus's warm body under the covers, my head resting on his chest.

"By the way, you look beautiful," he states, his eyes still closed.

"Thank you," I say, blushing. I sigh contently, nuzzling my face into his chest further, and closing my eyes. "You know, maybe this wasn't such a bad idea."

Before I know it, I've fallen headfirst into dreamland.

XXXXXXXXXXX

_*Sirius's POV*_

I was _supposed_ _to_ share the Firewhiskey with the party. _Supposed to._

Okay, so maybe I drank half of it. Maybe three quarters. Okay, I drank it all. James had a few sips, and so did Scarlet, but I wouldn't share with anyone else who asked.

"Hey, can we have a go?" a short fourth year girl asks.

"No, go get your own," I mumble, taking another swig. The fiery liquid runs down my throat, burning it; it feels great. I laugh a hearty, drunken laugh at the underclassmen, who give me odd looks and slip away.

This is my first experience with alcohol, and my God, is it _weird_. I've never felt this… jolly before. Jolly, happy, excited, yet somehow sluggish and confused. My vision is slightly blurred, and I often miss my mouth when drinking.

"Pads!" James calls over the ruckus, milling over to my perch on the couch with a turkey leg. His eyes hone in on the bottle in my hand. "What the hell are you doing?"

"What does it look like?"

"Pads, you've almost finished the whole bottle!"

"It was a small bottle."

"No, it wasn't. How come you didn't share?! Asshole."

"Jamesie, it was just so good!"

"Next time we get Firewhiskey, I call at least half."

"Fine, Prongs," I say, chuckling. My chuckling soon turns into a giggling fit, and the giggling fit soon turns into a full on laughing attack. James looks down at me curiously.

"What's so funny?"

"Nothing," I choke out. "Nothing whatsoever."

"Then what are you laughing at?"

"I dunno."

James raises an eyebrow and slips the bottle from my hand carefully. I let him take it and set it on the coffee table.

"I think it's time you went to bed," he says, looking down at me with a bemused expression.

"Jamesie, the party just started!"

"No, it didn't," he assures me. "It's been a few hours. Come on, we're going to bed."

"I'm not going, I haven't even shagged anyone yet!"

"Sirius," James rolls his eyes. "You're the only one who's wasted. You look a bit foolish."

"Do I?"

"Yes."

"Oh… Damn."

"Come on mate," James says, reaching over and helping me shakily to my feet. "Next time, we'll bring enough for the whole party, alright?"

"Fine," I mutter, James leading me to the spiral stairs. I hit my foot off a chair and swear loudly, drawing attention to myself. James looks around guiltily, trying to put on a winning smile. "Nothing to see here, mates."

"HAH. Black's drunk off his ass!" Dean Jackson calls from the crowd.

"Shut it, Jackson!" James calls, stopping at the foot of the stairs to yell back at Dean. "Oh, hey, I forgot to ask you how those TWENTY LAPS went?!"

"That random-ass punishment you made me do that one day?"

"Yeah."

"Bloody fantastic."

"Great. Be ready for another forty when we get back from break, kay?"

Dean doesn't say anything, he just rolls his eyes and melts back into the crowd. James smirks in victory, then continues to help me up the stairs. We reach the _5__th__ year boys _dormitory, and push the door open slowly.

"Oi, what are you two doing in here?!" James exclaims, eyes landing on Remus and Tonks sleeping in Remus's bed.

"Oi, what are you doing waking me up?" Remus calls, mocking James as he and Tonks sit up.

"You guys missed half the party!" James says, leading me over to my bed and setting me down. I suddenly become nauseous and run to the bathroom to puke. Over my retching, I can hear Remus and James continue their conversation.

"What happened to him?" Remus asks.

"Eh, he got a tad drunk," James explains.

"A tad?"

"Wasted."

"I warned him," Remus says.

"I can still hear you!" I call from the loo, wiping my mouth on my sleeve. I stagger up, regain my footing, and troop back into the dorm, flopping down face first on my bed.

"I think that's enough for him in one night," James says, slapping my calf. "Sleep tight, Padfoot."

"Party hard, Prongs."

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Remus's POV*_

_So this is what a party is supposed to look like. _

I can't help but think this as we finally make it downstairs. Music blaring, students dancing, everyone having a good time. As soon as James reaches the foot of the stairs, he melts right back into the crazed crowd, leaving me and Tonks standing there, hand in hand, adjusting to this polar atmosphere of where we were ten minutes previous. My head still pounds like a drum, but Tonks seems eager to get into the thick of things

"Come on!" she calls, pulling me shakily out onto the dance floor. _Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree _comes on, and she yells in excitement along with the other students. Still holding tightly to my hand, she starts dancing with the music. I can't help but smile and laugh at her happiness, and I, too, get carried away.

She grabs both of my hands and we start dancing together, running into other students, but not giving a damn. I let go of one of her hands and swing her to my right; she laughs and lets me whip her around. I pull her back in and wrap arms fully around her, then swing her to my right.

"You're such a fun dancer!" she exclaims as I pull her back in. As the music ends, I dip her so our noses are barely touching, then kiss her hard on the lips. Everyone screams and applauds as soon as the song finishes. I pull her up and wrap my arms around her once again as she laughs; bubbly, clear, euphoric. I plant a big, fat kiss on her cheek as another song starts up, this time, a popular rock song. She smiles excitedly, jumping up and down in time with the music, occasionally fist pumping, which makes me chuckle.

The night seems to stretch on forever, a never-ending blur of songs, dancing, and love. We exchange more kisses in this one night then ever before, simply for the fact that I can't help it, she's too beautiful. So alive and happy, just doing her thing without a care for what others think.

The last song of the night comes on, and I'm wholeheartedly disappointed. Students are starting to get tired and some wander off to bed without finishing off the night. The song is _Holly Jolly Christmas_, coincidently the same song James and Sirius's singing Christmas hats played a few years ago. I smile fondly at this memory as we start dancing again.

"_Have a Holly, Jolly, Christmas! And as you walk down, the street!" _she sings, her forehead against mine.

"_Say heeeeellooo, to friends you know, and everyone you meet!" _I finish, my arm wrapped around her waist, my other hand in hers. We bob along with the music, singing softly to one another.

"_Thisssss Yeeeeeaaaar!"_ we finish the song together. I spin her, twirling her around and around, her dress a fan. Her combat boots get caught up, causing her to stumble a little. I steady her just as the song ends, planting another kiss on her full, red lips. Her face is flushed, eyes sparkling as she looks up at me.

"All this kissing tonight, Remus, eh?"

"I can't help it, my dear Nymphadora," I croon, leaning my forehead against hers; she beams.

"I'm not complaining," she says, laughing. She gets up on tiptoes and kisses me once again. Then, she breaks away, flitting over to where James sits with Peter and the Quidditch team, her hand still tightly wound with mine.

"Great party, James," she compliments, sitting on the arm of the couch he is occupying. I place my hands on her shoulders from behind.

"Thanks, Tonksie," he says. He looks a bit funny…

"Ugh, James you reek," Tonks says, waving her hand in front of her face. "Firewhiskey."

"I barely had any!" he argues.

"I can still smell it!" she says, rolling her eyes. "Your dorm is going to smell for weeks, especially because of Sirius."

"Yeah, yeah," James says, waving me off. "Just wait, you'll see."

"See what?"

"Forget it," he says, chuckling. "I'm going to bed. You?"

"Yeah, we should," Tonks says, looking expectantly up at me.

"Come on then," James says, getting up and biding goodnight to the team, Peter following. We traipse up the stairs and onto the landing, where we can look down and see the slowly emptying common room.

"Goodnight, love," I say, leaning down to kiss her for a final time.

"You're not having a sleepover?" James teases from halfway up the boy's staircase.

"Shut it, Prongs," I call, kissing her forehead. "I love you. Sleep tight."

"I love you more," she whispers, face against mine. Then, we break away and head to our own dorms, James chuckling all the way. When we enter the dorm, we find Sirius in the exact position as we left him earlier.

"The great lard," James mutters, chuckling.

"I'm exhausted," I say, yawning and stretching. "Bed time."

A little bit later, as I lay in my four-poster, I can't shake the image of her perfect, happy, glowing face from my mind. So beautiful, so flawless. And she's mine. She's something special, she is.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Hey guys! Happy Thanksgiving! :D (if you live in America)

So what do you guys think?! Please leave a review! (:

I was writing this while watching Deathly Hallows P2. I nearly cry every time I watch that movie. It's just that damn good. Now I'm watching P1. I watched it a little backwards ^.^

So, happy thanksgiving, and if you're wondering what I'm thankful for, it's all you guys! I'm so happy and thankful for all my reviewers and followers! (;

Pleaseee leave a review! :D

xoxo


	70. Chapter 69

"_There is no remedy for love but to love more."-Henry____David____Thoreau_

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Remus's POV*_

"Remus. Reeeeemus. Moony. Lupin. REEEMUS!"

"What?!" I jump out of bed at the sound of my name, and look around wildly for the source of the clamor.

"Come here."

I whip around to see Sirius staring expectantly over at me, looking quite green and sickly.

"What is it?" I ask, traipsing over, rolling my eyes.

"Can you do me a favor?"

"What is it?"

"Get me a wet washcloth?"

"It's not _my_ fault you decided to get wasted last night," I complain, but ending up going to get it anyways. As I'm standing at the sink, soaking the washcloth, I can see him vomit violently into a bin by his bed; I can't help but chuckle.

"Never going to do that again, are we?" I say saucily as I bring him the washcloth. He grabs it and rubs it all over his face, sighing.

"It was fun," he says after a minute. "This is the only part that isn't fun."

"What time is it anyways?" I ask, craning my neck to look at the clock. "_Four thirty._ You woke me up at _four thirty_?!"

"James wouldn't wake up!" he argues, the cloth still over his face. "Besides, you needed to help a mate out."

"Oh, I can 'help a mate out,'" I say sarcastically, punching my fist into my palm.

"You wouldn't, Moony."

"You're right, I wouldn't," I admit, chuckling. "I'm going the hell back to sleep."

I get up and shuffle my way back to my four-poster, my fingers subconsciously caressing a photo of me and Tonks I have set on my bedside table. I slide in under the warm covers once again, and immediately fall asleep.

XXXXXXXXXXX

_*Tonks's POV*_

"You're staying this year?" Lily asks, throwing last minute stuff into her trunk.

"Yeah," I say, laying down my bed, my feet up against one of my bed posts. "We decided to have Christmas here this year."

"_We_ as in James, Sirius, Peter, and Remus, right?"

"Not Peter," I admit, watching my feet do a silly dance against the wood. "His mother makes him go home every year."

"I don't think I could ever stay here for Christmas," Lily admits, slamming her trunk and buckling it. "I would miss home too much."

"You would think," I say, staring dreamily at the ceiling. "But… this is home. Wherever I am with the boys, I feel at home."

Lily doesn't say anything, she just looks at me skeptically. "We should be going."

I get up and skip over to her bed, wrapping my arms tightly around her. "Happy Christmas, Lils. Have a safe journey home."

"You, too, Tonks."

"Same for you, Lydia," I say, hugging her next. "Make this Christmas the best it can be."

"We'll try," Lily says, dragging her trunk from the dorm. "Happy Christmas!"

And they're gone.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

_*One week later*_

"_For we need a little Christmas!" _

"_Right this very minute!" _

"_Candles in the windows!" _

"_Carols at the spinet!" _

"_Yes we need a little snappy!" _

"_Happy ever after!"_

"_Neeeeed a little Chriiiiiiistmaaaaaas noooow!" _

"How do you two know all these Christmas carols?!" I ask incredulously, laughing. James and Sirius have just finished their 5th song for us.

"We know everything," Sirius says, getting down from the coffee table and taking a seat. It's finally Christmas Eve at Hogwarts, and the four of us are taking the opportunity of an empty common room to let James and Sirius serenade us. They don't seem to have any problem with it, jumping around on the coffee table, singing their heads off. Remus and I just sit and watch, laughing at their 'show,' but enjoying it immensely, nonetheless.

Oddly enough, Hogwarts is quite empty this year. Only about a dozen Gryffindors stayed behind, and four of the dozen is us. It could be the fact that there are a lot of lonely mothers out there this year, or it could be because of… another reason. Just a few days ago, the Daily Prophet ran a story about a half-muggle half-wizarding village getting ransacked by 'Death Eaters.' People got scared, and wrote to their children to get home ASAP. Thankfully, my parents didn't find that necessary.

"Best one yet," Remus says, jolting me from my thoughts. His arms are wrapped tightly around me, the fireplace is ablaze, and the room is decorated more beautifully than I've ever seen. Sirius finds his seat next to James, the two discussing their future careers in singing.

"I think that's enough for one night," James says, wiping sweat off his brow. "It's not easy being a star."

"I know, what a life," Remus says sarcastically, laughing along with the rest of us. The rest of the world is gone now, it doesn't matter. All that matters is that my three best friends and I are sitting around a fire, singing, laughing, having the time of our lives, and no one can do anything about it. We are alive, we are happy, and we are the best of friends I've ever seen. I've never felt more accepted or loved before in my life.

The rest of the night, we sit around, drinking hot chocolate, enjoying a night with no homework where we can all be together (because James and Sirius don't have any detentions). To end this glorious event, James and Sirius make us sing along with them to _Jingle Bells_.

"_In a oneeee horseeee opeeeennn sleeeeeeigh!"_

"When will all this caroling stop?" I ask, out of breath as the song ends. We're standing in a circle, arms slung around each other, like a Quidditch huddle.

"After Christmas," James muses, letting go. "Then you have to wait a whole other year."

"I don't know how I'll make it!" I say sarcastically.

"Don't worry, we'll start early next year," Sirius says, rummaging in his bag. He pulls out four bottles of butterbeer.

"No Firewhiskey?"

"No Firewhiskey," he says, popping the caps off all of them. "I figured Mr. Prefect wouldn't been too keen on that idea. So I got butterbeer. Next best thing right?"

Remus gives him a sarcastic look. He passes a bottle to each of us, then raises it in a celebratory fashion.

"To friends, Christmas, and Firewhiskey-"

"Sirius!"

"Okay, okay," he says, rolling his eyes. "To friends, Christmas, and…"

"A lifetime of good memories!" I add, beaming.

"What she said," he says, clinking all our glasses together. We drink deeply from our bottles, savoring the sweet, buttery taste of the drink.

"Merry Christmas, mates," James says, downing his whole bottle in one go.

"Merry Christmas," we all respond. It takes me and Remus a tad longer to finish our drinks, considering we didn't want to be belching like James and Sirius are.

"I can totally one up you on that one," Sirius says, taking a deep breath and belching so loud I'm sure the Slytherins can hear it.

"Impressive, my friend," James says, slow clapping. "But not good enough."

As he takes his breath to belch, I announce, "Okay, I'm off to bed before my ear drums fall out!"

"I'm with you, love," Remus says, downing the rest of his butterbeer and getting up.

"Goodnight!" Idiot 1 and Idiot 2 say in unison.

Remus and I steal away to the boy's dorm, happy to enjoy some alone time after the madness and craziness of this night. I flop down on his bed as he walks around preparing for bed.

"What is that smell?" I ask, burying my face into his pillow to stop myself from choking.

"Probably Sirius's vomit," he admits, walking over to peer into a bucket by Sirius's bed. "Yep, that's it."

He picks it up and carries it into the bathroom, returning with air freshener and spraying it all around the dorm.

"If you're wondering why we have this, my answer is… I honestly don't know. Just another mystery of living with James and Sirius," he says, chuckling. Once he's finished spraying, he walks back over to his bed and lays down next to me. We both lay opposite the way you should, so our feet dangle off the side.

He looks over at me, and I, him. We don't touch, we don't kiss, we just lay there and stare hungrily into the other's eyes. I roll onto my back and switch my gaze to the ceiling of his four-poster, conscious of him still laying next to me, desperately wanting something to happen. Suddenly, I feel his lips on mine, out of nowhere. I kiss him back with matched passion, but oddly, he seems to be in control.

He sits up, our lips still locked, and pulls me into his lap. His lips leave mine for a moment, and explore my neck. When he finds his way back, I grab his face and kiss him with a new ferocity that I've never imagined. Subconsciously, my fingers have found the buttons of his white button-up. Slowly, almost in time to our heartbeats, I undo each button.

My palm rests on his warm chest, something I've never really gotten to explore before. You would think that a sickly, lethargic boy wouldn't be in any kind of shape, but you are sadly mistaken about Remus Lupin; muscular, firm, inviting. My hand finds its own way around, discovering as much as it can about this new area. Suddenly, I find something that startles me so much it makes me break away from our kiss.

"What is this?"

I look down at his bare chest and see it's not as flawless as I first imagined it to be. It's covered in scars, just like his face and hands. My index finger slowly traces the longest one, reaching from his collar bone to below his belly button. He shivers under my touch when I reach his navel.

"You thought the damage stopped at my face and hands?"

"No," I admit, finding another scar to trace. "I just… didn't know."

"It's my whole body," he says, voice cracking a little. "My legs, my back, my torso. Everything. I knew it wouldn't be… attractive."

"No, no, no," I assure him, smiling up into his scarred face. "I don't mind."

"You don't?"

"Of course not," I say, smiling at him smiling. "Why should I care?"

"I dunno," he says, smiling into his lap. "I was being silly, I guess."

I reach out with my index finger and pull his gaze up his meet mine. "Don't ever worry about what I'll think of you. You know I won't care. Your scars are _beautiful_. They make you who you are."

He doesn't respond, he just looks down at his scarred chest.

"Besides," I continue. "With or without scars, you have a… nice body."

He blushes and becomes more embarrassed.

"I love you," I say, wrapping my arms around his neck and nuzzling my face into his shoulder.

"I love you more," he responds, hugging me tightly, running his fingers lightly up and down my back, making me shiver.

"By the way," I say, several minutes later. "Happy Christmas, love."

"Happy Christmas, to you, too," he says, pulling me back so he can look at me. He is beaming, his beautiful amber eyes searching my face with a twinkle I've rarely seen, but is reserved for me, and only me.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

Hey guys!

I know this one is a bit different! I'm trying new stuff, okay? So did you like it?! Yes, no? As you can tell, I'm very excited for Christmas ^.^

So, pleaseeee leave a review! Pretty please? (:

Love you all! Happy beginning of the Christmas season!

xoxo


	71. Chapter 70

"_Love is life. And if you miss love, you miss life."-Leo Buscaglia_

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Tonks's POV*_

Christmas morning dawns bright, cold, and snowy. The grounds are covered in think blankets of pearly white, glistening snow. It comes down in fat, slow, beautiful flakes, the kind you always imagine around Christmastime.

I, being the irresponsible individual I am, forgot to turn the heater on before I went to bed. Naturally, when I wake up, my empty dorm is colder than the artic. Lily or Lydia usually turns the heater on, but since they're not here, I guess it was my job. And I failed. I slide out of bed quickly and pad across the icy stone floor to grab my robe. I also shove my bare feet into my combat boots for good measure.

I skip from the dorm, and when I reach the landing between the boy's and girl's dormitories, I hear someone shout up at me.

"There you are! You lazy ass, you slept in until noon!"

I quirk my eye brow and glance down to see Sirius calling up at me. The boys are all sitting around the Christmas tree, still clad in pajamas, opening their presents.

"Why didn't you wake me?" I call, running down the stairs to meet them.

"We tried," James explains as I take a seat next to Remus, who wraps his arm around me and kisses my hair. "But that bloody enchanted staircase almost broke my wrist."

"Ah," I say, chuckling in realization. "You're not the first boy I've known to do that."

"It's terrible," Sirius mutters, unwrapping yet another present, covered in glittering gold paper and a big red bow.

"I think it's hilarious," I say, chuckling. "The Founders must have had a good sense of humor."

"Hah. Hah," James laughs sarcastically, showing me his bruised wrist. I grab it and kiss it, mocking an overprotective mother.

"Do my kisses make it feel all better?" I croon as he pulls away.

"Oh, shut it," he chuckles, nursing it again. "It actually hurts like shit."

"I bet," Remus says from behind me. "It looks pretty nasty."

"You're telling me," James replies sarcastically. Sirius then crawls under the tree and produces a round of presents for everyone, including himself. He passes them out and we all start ripping them open in an excited frenzy. Our attention is drawn from our from our gifts as we hear a groan.

"Ugh," Sirius mutters from his perch on the couch, staring down at his present with wide eyes.

"What is it, mate?" James asks, sideling over to look at the tag. His eyes widen and he groans, too.

"Is it _that_ bad?" I ask, getting up to examine this 'atrocity.' I look down at the tag on the gift, and it reads: _To: Sirius Orion Black From: Marlene Jane McKinnon._

"Ooh," I say, going back to finish unwrapping my own present. "I remember that one."

"I don't understand her," James says, sitting back down as well. "One minute, she's in love with me, the next, it's you. Poor girl can't decide who she fancies."

"And if I remember correctly, she's mates with Scarlet and May," Remus adds.

"Not anymore," James says, shaking his head.

"When did this happen?" I ask, cocking my head.

"I think at the end of last year," he explains. "Scarlet and May did something and Marlene didn't like it."

"I think it was something about a boy," Sirius adds. "In the interim between liking me and James, she must have found another boy to stalk."

"She's an odd one, she is," James muses.

"How did she even get this gift in here?!" Sirius exclaims, indicating the unwrapped present still in his lap. "She's a bloody Ravenclaw, she can't even get into our common room!"

"She probably bribed a house elf or something," Remus suggests.

"Mad," Sirius says, shaking his head. "Absolutely mad."

We continue unwrapping presents until we have one tiny little present left underneath the tree.

"And this one is for… Nymphadora Tonks!" Sirius announces from under the tree, handing the present out to me.

"Thanks!" I say, taking it from him. "Did you guys unwrap all your presents?"

"No, Remus's didn't awake until noon," James interjects.

"Good one, Prongs!" Sirius says, laughing and giving James a high five. "I get it! It's funny because she said… unwrap… I get it… yeah."

"Hah," it's Remus's turn to be sarcastic. "Very funny, gentlemen."

"Hey, some people would pay for entertainment like this. You get it for free," Sirius says, smirking at himself.

"I can't believe you're even gracing me with your presence," Remus says, taking a book from the floor and opening it.

"You're just a lucky lycanthrope, aren't ya?" I say, turning and smiling at him. He smiles back and leans in to place a sweet kiss on my lips. The only other thing I can register is James and Sirius shrieking 'Ew! Cooties!' in the background.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Why is it that Christmas break must always go so fast? Maybe this one went by extra fast because it was so wonderful. I know that when I'm older, looking back on my life, these days will be best. So simple, so quaint, so happy. I'll be able to tell my children stories of the best friends in the world, and the memories we made.

It's January 5, 1976, and the first day back to classes. One day, you're on vacation, not a worry in the world, and the next, you're back sitting in O.W.L. prep.

"The list I'm passing out now-"

"Another goddamn list?" Sirius mutters angrily to my left. I chuckle as Professor McGonagall hands me my list and gives Sirius a very dirty look.

"-is the schedule for Career Advice meetings, something very important. You all need to take this seriously. Be there on time, with all your materials, and a good attitude. Be ready to discuss your future."

The bell rings.

"See you all next week," Professor McGonagall finishes as benches scrape the stone floor and students flock to the door. I scan down the list of dozens of student's names and dates and times until I find _Tonks, Nymphadora_. I stop and look at my slot, which is almost two weeks from tomorrow. I sigh, folding up the schedule and sliding it into my bag.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

James, Sirius, Peter, and Remus have already had their meetings. Sirius went first, and apparently got some scolding for grades. McGonagall told him it would be very difficult for him to become an Auror if he didn't start working harder.

Remus went about week after him, and got a fairly good report, although Dumbledore had been invited to his meeting. They discussed his grades and goals, then the prospect of him actually finding a job. He wouldn't tell me what Dumbledore said about it, but he didn't look happy so I can assume it wasn't good.

Peter didn't say much about his meeting. He told us they discussed putting him into tutoring. Apparently, Professor McGonagall blatantly told him that he would score 'Troll' on his O.W.L.s if he didn't step it up.

James's meeting seemed to have gone much better. McGonagall told him that his goal of becoming an Auror was attainable, but he would have to work hard for it. In reality, who wouldn't have to work hard for a goal like that?

The day of my meeting isn't a good one. James and Sirius manage to piss me off at the start of the day by 'accidentally' setting my potions essay on fire at breakfast. They were attempting to heat up their eggs, which they proclaimed 'weren't' up to par' and somehow my essay got in between their wands and the eggs. There was so saving it; it shriveled up in black curls, landing softly on the table. Everyone went silent, watching to see how I would react with worried expressions.

"Tonks-"

"Don't. Don't say anything," I said evenly, trying to control myself. The bell rang, and we were off to potions. I had to try to explain why I didn't have my essay to Professor Slughorn, who accused me of lying and gave me a detention.

Scarlet and May didn't make my mood any better in Transfiguration. They would write something rude and stupid, such as _Do you use your hair to direct airplane traffic?_ on a piece of parchment, mash it up into a ball, then throw it at my head when McGonagall's back was turned. After class, much to Remus's dismay, I shot a well-aimed jinx at both of them in retribution.

Now, here I sit in Slughorn's office, organizing potion ingredients for him. My meeting is scheduled for 7:00, and Slughorn didn't mention when he was going to let me go. I slide a vial of rat teeth into it's proper slot as I glance at the clock; it says 6:55.

"Dammit," I mutter under my breath as Slughorn enters, whistling.

"Sir?"

"Yes, Natalia?"

"Nymphadora, sir," I correct, rolling my eyes with his back turned. "Would I be allowed to leave, sir? I have my Career Advice meeting in five minutes."

"Well, of course, Nicole, you go right ahead."

I shake my head, wondering why Dumbledore still allows him to teach. "Thank you so much, sir."

I grab my bag and take off running out of the room and up the staircase to the Entrance Hall. My combat boots strike the floor at an alarming rate, my bubblegum-pink hair flying behind me. While I'm booking it down the halls, I can't help but think of what a crummy day it was. Now, I'm late to one of the most important meetings of my life because of all that transpired today. I manage to only trip once, going up to the 2nd floor, but still make it to McGonagall's office five minutes late, even when I took a few shortcuts.

"I'm so sorry Professor," I say, entering her office, flustered and red in the face. "I was down the dungeons with Professor Slughorn and-"

"I am well aware, Miss Tonks," she says, looking up at me with an expression I can't decipher. Amused? Disappointed? Curious? "Please, take a seat."

I throw myself down in a chair across from her at her desk, examining her office. I've never been in here before, and it's quite bland, really.

"Well, you know exactly why we are here today, Nymphadora," she says, opening a folder and looking at my record. "Have you given any thought as to what you might want to do after you graduate?"

"Well…" I say, squirming in my seat. "I've thought about… becoming…"

"Spit it out, child."

"An Auror."

She doesn't say anything, giving me a curious look from behind her spectacles.

"You know Mr. Potter and Mr. Black are aspiring to be Aurors as well?" she asks, several seconds later, still wearing that odd expression.

"Yes, ma'am," I say, looking nervously at my feet. "That's not the reason I want to be one."

"Good," she says, turning back to my papers. "So, you have a reason as to why you would like to be certified?"

"Of course," I say, thinking about it. "I suppose it's because I would like to make a difference in the world. I want to be able to die knowing that in some way, I improved someone else's life. Aurors do that everyday, do they not? They put their own lives on the line for the good of everyone else's. And, if you do die in combat, at least you didn't die for nothing."

I pause, examining her expression. She doesn't say anything, so I continue.

"Plus, I think I'd be good at it. I'm sure the Auror department is always looking for Metamorphagus-like powers, for disguises and stuff, but with me, they wouldn't even have to try. I could disguise myself and go out on a mission without any kind of potion or spell to change me."

Again, she doesn't say anything.

"And, I think it would be fun. Going undercover, arresting dark wizards and bringing them to justice. And, the thrill of fighting. The feeling of almost loosing it, but casting the right spell at the right time, and getting the bad guy. I suppose all of these reasons are why I want to become an Auror. I hope that's good enough."

She sits in silence for a moment, examining my face with a small smile, something I've rarely seen her do before.

"Honestly, Miss Tonks, I think you would make a fantastic Auror."

"Really?" I ask, bubbling with excitement.

"Yes," she says, her smile breaking a little wider. "You've got all the qualities I think an Auror needs. Fight, drive, passion, kindness. You've got a bit of fire inside you, too, do you not?"

"I suppose," I admit, blushing.

"Alastor would appreciate your skills, too," she muses to herself, writing something down in the folder. "Now, your grades-"

"I know they're not the best," I interject. "But, I can work hard to do better."

"I'm not going to argue with that," she says, looking down at my report card with a stony expression. "And you would have to work on controlling yourself. No more detentions."

"I'm sorry, Professor," I say, blushing some more.

"You've got your work cut out for, Nymphadora, but I think you've got it. Just concentrate on your grades and your temper. I'll stand behind you, I can tell you that."

"Thank you so much Professor," I say, beaming.

"You're welcome," she says, actually giving me a tiny smile. "You may go."

"Thank you," I say a final time, flustered about her kindness and report. As I'm walking to the door, she stops me again.

"You and Mr. Lupin are… together, am I correct?"

"Yes," I admit, blushing.

"Ah," she says, nodding her head. "Exactly what I thought."

I smile, then sweep from the office. The last thing I hear is Professor McGonagall muttering to herself, "Yes, Alastor is going to love her."

XXXXXXXXXXXX

Hey guys!

Just a quick update, I freshened up chapter one of this story! If you wanna go check it out, I would love that! (:

You guys still happy with this story? Going in the right direction and all? Please review! :D

I love you all so much, and if you could help give this story some love, I will send you cookies. Okay, I won't, but I would love to!

Happy December!

xoxo


	72. Chapter 71

**DISCLAIMER: **I don't own Harry Potter or any of the characters in it; I'm borrowing. Isn't that obvious? I'm using some from OotP this chapter, so… I thought I'd do a disclaimer.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

"_Who ever loved that loved not at first sight?"-Christopher Marlowe_

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Tonks's POV*_

"'Twas the night before O.W.L.s and all through the common room, students were scurrying, and most importantly worrying."

"Pads, you're a poet and you didn't know it," James chuckles, turning a page in his Charms textbook.

"It's true right?" Sirius says, flippantly tapping his wand off the top of his own book, laid across his lap. "Look at all this. It's a mad house."

He speaks the truth. Every table is filled with students, books, papers, quills, cheat sheets, etc. A few girls are crying in a corner, claiming they're 'never going to understand.' Dean Jackson looks a little too intense, sitting at a quiet table in the corner alone, sweating so much he could fill a bucket.

"Well," James suddenly announces, slamming his book. "I'm done. I'm gonna pass."

"No way, Prongs," Remus says, looking up from his work.

"Moony," he says, standing up and sliding his book under his arm. "I'm way more clever than you think I am."

"And humble, too," Remus retorts, snorting into the scroll he's working on; I chuckle as much as I can with all this stress. All of a sudden, we hear a bark-like laugh come from the couch where Sirius is seated. We all whip around to see him throw his hands over his mouth, his eyes as wide as dinner plates.

"I… I didn't mean-" he blurts out. James holds up a hand to silence him, laughing even harder.

"Pads-" he chokes out.

"Shut up, James!" he says, his cheeks turning slightly red. "I can't help it!"

"The ladies will _love_ that laugh," James remarks, continuing his way to the dormitories. He unconsciously reaches up and rumples his coal-black hair.

"I swear to fucking God, Potter, if you intentionally mess up your hair one more time!" Sirius exclaims jokingly, laughing at his friend's recent attempts to look 'windswept.'

"Hey, Pads, cool it," he says, glancing around the common room. "Ladies love it." He continues his way to bed, his book tucked under his arm like a Quaffle.

I lean down and bang my head off my book, sighing. I feel a hand rub comfortingly up and down my back. "I have to do well," I mutter.

"It's alright, just take a deep breath," Remus croons. "You're going to be fine."

"Moony, come over here and coach me!" Sirius calls out jokingly.

"Not in your dreams," Remus replies, sitting back in his seat with a smirk to rival James's.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_*A few days later*_

O.W.L.s are as close to my personal hell as I can describe. A hot, sticky room filled with anxious students and teachers breathing down your neck. All you can hear is the scratching of quills and the rustle of papers. The test itself seems to go on forever, a never-ending scroll of questions and answers. Everyone's moral is very low as we end our fourth session of testing on Thursday.

I feel as if I've been working really hard on these tests, doing the best I possibly can. After all, this _is_ my future. Every night is spent in front of the fire in the common room, studying for hours. I've been putting my heart and soul into this, and Defense Against the Dark Arts isn't an exception.

"Quills down, please!" Professor Flitwick squeaks from the head of the Great Hall. I sigh, looking down my completed essay on werewolves. When I initially read this question, I actually laughed out loud and got yelled at. "That means you too, Stebbins! Please remain seated while I collect your parchment. _Accio!" _

My scroll flies up the aisle and into poor, little Professor Flitwick's arms. Alas, hundreds of scrolls flying at him at once did not fare him well, and he's knocked off his feet. I can't help but suppress a chuckle as some students in the front help him up. I run my hands down my face and sigh deeply as we're told we're allowed to go. I get up, slowly packing my quill and ink into my bag and throwing it over my shoulder. Suddenly, Remus is by my side.

"Hey, love," he says, kissing me lightly on the cheek. "How'd it go?"

"I dunno," I admit, looking at my feet. "I think I did a decent job."

"Well," he says, grabbing my hand and kissing it. "I'm glad."

"Oi, lovebirds!" James calls over the clamor. "You coming?"

Remus rolls his eyes, entwines his fingers with mine, and leads me out of the Great Hall and into a sea of students pushing to get outside.

"Did you like question ten, Moony?" Sirius asks dauntingly, chuckling.

"Loved it," Remus says sarcastically. "'Give five signs that identify the werewolf.' Excellent question."

"D'you think you managed to get all the signs?" James asks, placing his hands on his cheeks in mock concern. Everyone laughs heartily at this, but I just can't bring myself to.

"Think I did," he says, pondering his answer. He looks down at me mischievously, smiling. "One: He's sitting in my chair. Two: He's wearing my clothes. Three: His name's Remus Lupin."

I let myself laugh freely at this joke. My boyfriend is often very quiet and mature, but when he gets into one of _those_ moods, he's one of the funniest people I've ever met, and that's just another thing that makes me love him so much.

"I got the snout shape, the pupils of the eyes, and the tufted tail," Peter says, wiping sweat from his brow, looking upset. "But I couldn't think what else-"

"How thick are you, Wormtail?" James asks incredulously, so shocked that he stops abruptly and trips a few Ravenclaw girls. Sirius grabs his sleeve and pulls him back into the flow. "You run round with a werewolf once a month-"

"Keep your voice down," Remus urges in a cutting undertone.

We finally make it out into the sunny, refreshing grounds. I take a deep breath of fresh air and I suddenly feel my heartbeat slow. Remus watches me as James and Sirius ramble on about how well they did on the exam.

"Feel better?" he asks, chuckling. I consider him for a moment, a small smile playing on my lips.

"Much better," I respond, wrapping my arm all the way around his, laying my head on his shoulder. We follow James, Sirius, and Peter to the shade under our favorite tree.

I glance over at our friends and see James playing with the Golden Snitch again, an annoying habit he's gotten into lately after he nicked it from Dean a few days ago. When I asked him why he was playing with it, he responded:

"It's a lady magnet."

I don't see how catching a Snitch just before it flies away justifies being a 'lady magnet,' but I let him do his thing. Remus and I lean up against the trunk of the beech tree, my head resting on his shoulder. He pulls out a book and begins to read.

I look around and notice practically the whole school is outside, enjoying the summer weather. Severus is a few trees away, his greasy nose stuck in an O.W.L. paper; Lily and Lydia are down by the water's edge, cooling their bare feet in the shallows; Aaron and his friends are across the lake, throwing around a Quaffle. The sun shines brightly overhead, making the Black Lake shine like sequins, the giant squid lazily sunning its tentacles.

I close my eyes and try to take a short nap. Every few minutes, I hear an 'ooh!' and some applause, which I can assume is Peter astonished by James's Quidditch skills. Suddenly, Sirius's loud, obnoxious voice breaks into my consciousness.

"Put that away, will you? Before Wormtail wets himself with excitement."

I open my eyes and see James chuckling heartily at Sirius's comment; Peter is blushing madly, and looks ashamed of himself.

"If it bothers you," James says, begrudgingly putting the Snitch back into his pocket. I know if I would've asked him to stop, he would've told me to shove off.

"I'm bored," Sirius whines, picking at some blades of grass. "I wish it were the full moon."

I roll my eyes as Remus answers darkly. "_You_ might."

Sirius gives him a guilty look as James chuckles.

"We've still got Transfiguration," Remus says, handing his book to Sirius. "If you're bored, you could test me. Here."

"I don't need to look at that rubbish," Sirius snorts, pushing the book back at him. "I know it all."

"This'll liven you up, Padfoot. Look who it is…" James whispers, pointing over at Severus, who is traipsing across the lawn, looking upset and disturbed, as always.

"Excellent," Sirius says, frozen like a dog about to pounce on and kill a rabbit. "_Snivellus." _

"Guys," I say, looking up at them with a _really?_ look. "Come on, let him go today. We've almost finished a whole week of testing and I think-"

"All right, Snivellus?" James calls loudly as he and Sirius stand up, swaggering over to where Snape stands frozen at the calls of their voices.

"Okay, or you could ignore me, too!" I call, flopping back against the tree, rolling my eyes.

I glance over at Remus and see he's stopped reading. The funny thing is, he's still staring intently at his book as though he's reading.

"Rem?" I say, trying to get his attention. He immediately knows what I'm really asking.

"If I don't look, then I don't see. If I don't see, I don't witness it. If I don't witness it, I can't turn it in," he explains, peaking a glance over at me.

"That's ridiculous," I say, giving him a confused look. "You're a prefect-"

"I know," he says, letting the book fall between his legs and onto the lawn. "I just… can't."

"Why not?"

"They're the only friends I have, besides you. If I turned them in, they would know it was me. They would never speak to me again," he says, still keeping his eyes in any direction but to my right. I glance over at the scene, squinting at Snape on the ground, James's wand pointed at him.

"They wouldn't," I say.

"I can't risk it," he says, picking up his book again. "I'm a werewolf. We don't have friends."

"You have me," I say, giving him a small smile. He takes a glance and smiles back. All of a sudden, we hear Lily's screech echo across the grounds.

"Leave him ALONE!"

"Ooh, Lily joined the scene," I relay to Remus. "This isn't going to be pretty."

"What's going on?" he asks.

"I can't really hear it," I admit, straining to hear their conversation, but just picking up words like 'toerag.' I also hear a few spells and shouts from James and Lily.

"Are they using magic?" Remus asks, staring out across the Black Lake.

"Of course," I scoff, turning my attention back to the fight. All of a sudden, Snape is upside down, hanging in the air from some invisible thread.

"James is using his new favorite spell," I say, sighing. "It's getting worse by the minute."

"What's Lily doing?" he asks.

Suddenly, the whole scene freezes, and I hear the word 'Mudblood' shouted across the grounds. A few students in the gathered crowd 'oooooh.'

"I think Snape just called Lily a Mudblood," I say softly. "How dare he?!" I stand up and intend to march right over there to give him a piece of my mind.

"Tonks!" Remus exclaims, lashing out at my robes. "Don't."

"Why not?"

"I'd have to turn you in," he warns, looking at me with such intensity that I stop pulling from him. "I really don't want to."

"Fine," I huff, sitting back down. If it were anyone else, I would've still gone over and hexed Snape into next Tuesday. But, I couldn't do that to Remus; he really didn't want to have to get me in trouble. "But he'll get revenge for that, he will."

"As long as I'm not around," Remus says, chuckling. His face is back in his book as the crowd starts chanting something about pants.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Hey guys!

Did you like this one?! I felt as if I HAD to do this scene from my perspective. I feel as if it was original enough it was familiar, yet unique! Did I accomplish that, or were you bored out of your mind because you were reading what JKR had already written?

Anywho, I personally like this one! (: I can't wait to get into 6th year. For those of you looking for drama, here it comes!

Today, I actually wrote a "rough draft" (kind of) of what the final chapter of the story is going to be. Yanno, just to see where I have to go with this story, and also because it's been in my head for forever!

Just a little FYI, I cried like a baby while writing it. ;)

Alrighty guys, that's it! Have a lovely weekend! PLEASE REMEMBER TO LEAVE A REVIEW! :D

xoxo


	73. Chapter 72

"_If I had a rose for every time I thought of you, I'd be picking roses for a lifetime."-Swedish Proverb_

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Remus's POV*_

The day of the last O.W.L. is a beautiful one. So beautiful.

"All right, everyone. Quills down!" Professor McGonagall calls at the front of the Great Hall. Several people clap as the scrolls are whisked off our desks and into McGonagall's arms. "Congratulations, everyone. You're officially done with the O.W.L.s." The whole hall breaks out into applause and cheering. I feel as if a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders as we file out of the Great Hall and back up to the common room. Even the dreary, rainy weather can't dim our high spirits.

Sirius whoops down the hallway, throwing his papers and scrolls about, screaming: "I'm out of here, bitches!" James and Peter walk slightly behind, talking excitedly about their new found freedom. Tonks and I lag behind, hands intertwined. She beams, breathing slow and even, watching the others. I can't take my eyes off of her.

"Feel good?" I ask, nudging her.

"I think," she says, sighing. She turns and looks at me. "You?"

"I'm confident," I admit. "Although it won't do much for me."

"Don't say that," she urges, giving me a saucy look. "We're not giving up. On anything. Your career, the war, us. Not going to happen."

"We never will."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The end of year ball is spectacular, as always. This year, it's even better because we fifth-years feel as if we deserve it. We worked our asses off for months, and now we just get to dance the night away; the lights twinkling overhead, the music, the pretty dresses and charming tuxes.

Sirius took Scarlet again this year. I've been suspicious about the two of them for months now, and I would say my suspicions have been confirmed. James accompanied a girl on his Quidditch team named Eva. She's pretty, but they don't seem to be having a good time. James was pretty upset again this year because Lily went with Dean. Again. Lydia went with Bennett, and Peter went alone. Poor chap will never get a date.

I could dance with Tonks for the rest of my life and still be content. I love the feeling of her body against mine; her heat, her shape. We sway in time to the music; we fit together like a puzzle piece and know what the other is going to do before they do. We're a perfect fit for each other.

We end the night on the couch together. James and Peter went to bed already, and Sirius is out in the castle somewhere with Scarlet. The common room is empty, the fire slowly dying. I have my tux draped across the back of the couch, and my white button-up is open, revealing my scarred chest. Her curled, shiny brown hair flows across my body, her head nestled in the crook of my elbow. Her puffy black dress takes up the whole end of the couch. It even invades where my feet should be. But, I don't really care; she looked gorgeous in it. I couldn't take my eyes off her glowing, beautiful figure. Her eyes alive and sparkling, her smile shiny and white. I love seeing her all dressed up once a year. She looks like a goddess, and I can't get enough of it. I don't know how she's comfortable, all the scratchy fabric and beads on her body.

I think she's asleep, her breathing slow, peaceful, and even. I watch her, her long, elegant eyelashes laying lightly on her face, her arms draped over her chest. She moves in her sleep, letting out a long sigh, subconsciously nuzzling deeper into my arm. I smile down at her, my mind wandering.

I would marry this stunning woman in a heartbeat. I've been in love with her since the day I met her, almost five years ago. I know most people don't believe in love at first sight, but I most certainly do. I can still see clearly in my head the little 11 year-old girl offering her hand for me to shake.

The thing is, would she want to marry me? Would she want to dedicate her life to a poor lycanthrope like myself? I don't know who would. But, I can't see ourselves growing old with anyone but each other. What does the future have in store for us?

I sigh, placing my arm under my head as sleep starts to overcome me. I need to stop thinking about the future. I need to live in the moment, this moment. My beautiful girlfriend curled up at my side, O.W.L.s done, my wonderful friends.

"Goodnight," I mutter groggily to sleeping girlfriend, closing my eyes contently.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The day I return home for summer break isn't a good one. Kevin comes to the train station to pick us up with our parents, and the feuding begins almost immediately. Oliver and Kevin get in a shouting match in the car, over me of course. I sit quietly, trying very hard to ignore them, staring out the window at the countryside flying by. Libby sits next to me, twiddling her thumbs. Everyone is so concentrated on Kevin and Oliver that no one even thinks to ask her how her first year went.

When we arrive home, I lock myself in my room and write a letter to Tonks. I vent about the entire day, and tell her how much I've cried. I want so badly to be out of this family, out of this house. I want to be 18, ready to leave and go off on my own; marry Tonks, have kids, have a job of my own. I just want out of this hellhole I'm in.

The afternoon wears on into the night, but I can't bring myself to go to sleep. The whole house is silent, my parents and siblings fast asleep. The sounds of summer in full swing can be heard out my open window; the creek, the crickets, the wind whistling through the leaves on the trees. A breeze drifts in, ruffling my light brown hair, and cooling my sweaty face.

I get up from my desk, where I am reading a book on defense against Grindylows, and change into a comfortable pair of sweats. I throw my ratty t-shirt to the ground and leave it there, flopping down on my bed and burying my face in my pillow. I lay there for several minutes, just existing, listening to the comforting sounds of the outside world. Suddenly, I hear a loud thump and a curse from Oliver's room down the hall. I sit up slowly, cocking an eyebrow. What could he be doing up at this hour?

I slide out of bed and peek out my door down the hall, trying to be as quiet as I possibly can. Indeed, the light is on in Oliver's room, and I can see a shadow moving about in it. I pad quietly down the hall and knock softly on the door. The clamor immediately stops on the inside.

"Who is it?" Oliver calls.

"Remus," I say, leaning up against the doorframe. "What the hell are you doing?"

The door swings open. Oliver grabs my shoulders and throws me inside, quickly shutting the door again. I stumble and grab his dresser for support.

"What do you want?" Oliver asks angrily, strutting past me and over to his bed.

"What's your matter?" I ask, walking over to see what he is doing. My jaw drops open when I see an open suitcase laying there, already half-filled with his possessions. I look around the room and see all his dresser drawers have been open and emptied. Things lay strewn about, all his Hogwarts stuff, all his clothes. I turn back to the frantic figure of my brother, horrified. "What's going on?"

"We're running away," he says, refusing to meet my eyes as he throws a pair of jeans into the suitcase.

"Who's we?"

"Me and Alisa," he explains. "I can't stay here any longer."

"_You're running away?_" I ask in disbelief. This _can't_ be happening.

"Yep," he assures me. "Far away. We're going to get married."

"Oliver, you can't-"

"Yes I can!" he practically shouts. He freezes, his hands bracing the sides of the suitcase. He stares down, almost shaking with anger. "I have to leave."

"Take me with you," I beg, a sudden idea coming to mind. "Please."

"I can't, Remus," he says, still not moving. "We have to go out on our own."

"You can't leave me _here_ alone," I plead. Oliver resumes his frantic packing.

"Remus, you'll be off to Hogwarts again in two months," he says.

"A whole two months, Oliver," I retort, my voice breaking. He stops and looks at me, his face softening. "What if you two get hurt? There _is_ a war going on, you know."

"I'll protect her," he says, his grip on the suitcase relaxing. "Nothing will happen to us."

"Oliver, you're the only person I have here," I plead. "You can't leave me."

"Remus, I have to," he says, somewhat sadly. "I have to leave. I can't take anymore of our family's bullshit with lycanthropy and 'mixing bloods.' I can't take another minute of it."

A tear leaks out of my eye and down my cheek as I look with him in disbelief.

"Whenever you graduate, you can do the same," he explains, trying to comfort me. "You and Tonks can run off and get married and have a happy life. You can forget about this part of your life. You can move on. It's just my time. I have to go."

I don't say anything as I watch him pack up the last of his possessions, slowly closing his suitcase with a snap. He stares down at it for a moment, deep in thought. He reaches for his pocket and hands me an envelope.

"This is for Mom and Dad," he explains. I take it, not daring to look at it. "It'll explain everything."

Again, I don't speak; I don't think I can. Oliver looks up at me curiously, his eyes about to spill over with tears.

"This is it, brother," he says, opening his arms to me.

"I can't believe you're leaving," I say, throwing myself into my big brother's hug.

"This isn't goodbye," he says, patting my back in a comforting way. "I'll see you again, I promise."

"When?"

"I don't know," he admits. We break and he just looks at me, pain riddling his face. "Good luck with your girl. I know you two are going to be very happy together."

"Thanks," I say, my voice breaking again.

"Tell Libby that I love her, and that I'm sorry for leaving her."

"I will," I promise.

"And to you, little brother, I'm sorry the most. I know how hard it's going to be. Just never give up."

"I won't," I vow, placing the note inside my pants pocket. He looks at me one more time before picking up his suitcase.

"Goodbye," he says, a tear leaking out of his eye. "I love you, brother."

"I love you, too," I mutter, wiping away another tear with the heel of my hand.

With a crack, he's gone.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Weeks pass with no word from Oliver. When my parents first found out, they were furious. They wouldn't let any of us read the letter he wrote them; apparently it said some pretty nasty stuff, stuff I would probably agree with.

I've never felt more alone or scared. I can't bring myself to come out of my room and participate in life. I sit on my bed all day, reading, writing letters, practicing spells. I didn't even get excited when my O.W.L. results came back, telling me I earned an O.W.L. in Defense Against the Dark Arts, several O's, E's, and one A. I couldn't bring myself to celebrate as Tonks did in the letter she wrote me when she got her scores back. She got O.W.L.s in Charms, Transfiguration, Potions, and Defense Against the Dark Arts. She did exceptionally well, putting her on the fast track to achieve her goal of Auror.

Besides from that wonderful news, the summer is fairly quiet. I barely get any letters from James and Sirius, but in one I heard that Sirius was moving into the Potter's house. Apparently, he ran away from home and the Potters took him in. He's tired of his family life, too, I suppose.

Not having Oliver in the house is like having a hole in your stomach. I feel empty and alone; sitting at the dinner table, going out, anything that's being done with the family. Yes, I prefer sitting locked up in my room, my books and letters to keep me company.

With all this going on, the war continues to worsen by the day. People being killed, tortured, captured. Lord Voldemort's followers are gathering, becoming stronger and more confident every day. The Ministry is doing their best to keep it all under control, but even some of their people are getting attacked; Aurors are dropping like flies. The rumor is that Hogwarts is the only safe place left. Maybe it finally is.

XXXXXXXXXXX

Hey guys! Transition chapter, I know! ;p I hope it was a good transition chapter though! ;)

So that's all I have to say! Have a lovely weekend! PLEASE REMEMBER TO LEAVE A REVIEW! I will love you forever if you leave a review! I will send you your own personal mini-Remus! Or Sirius! You choose! (Gosh, how I wish those were real!)

xoxo

Ps, Any Shane Dawson fans out there?! His Christmas music video came out earlier today. It was AMAZING. I've never cried at a YouTube video before, but I bawled at this one! And the song I soooo fantastic! It's been stuck in my head all day! If you want to check it out, it's called "Maybe this Christmas." (:


	74. Chapter 73

"_For you see, each day I love you more than yesterday and less than tomorrow."-Rosemonde Gerard_

XXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Remus's POV*_

The morning of September 1st, 1976 dawns rainy and chill. I stared getting the_ Daily Prophet _delivered directly to my window a few months ago, so I am awoken by the delivery owl tapping on my window. I groggily reach up, sliding it open. He hops in, the paper clutched tightly in his beak. I take it, throwing on the floor, and reaching for a handful of Knuts on my bedside table. I put it in his pouch and watch him fly away.

I sigh, sliding out of bed and onto the floor, resting my head against it. I reach for the paper, dreading what could be on the front page today.

**MUGGLE FAMILY FOUND DEAD IN LIVERPOOL: DEATH EATERS INVOLVED? **

I sigh another long, painful sigh and continue reading. Every day, more and more bodies are discovered. I can't believe all of this death and destruction can be the result of one single man. It's something I've thought a lot about this isolated summer. What could possibly drive this man to do such terrible things? What traumatic experience damaged him enough to give him the need to kill?

Not all articles in the paper are bad. Some talk about the resistance, the people who are fighting back against this evil. They don't disclose who's involved or who's in charge, all I know is that they're doing all they can. A part of me wants to know more about these masked heroes, and why they aren't getting the recognition they deserve.

A small part of me also tells me that I want to join them. It's very small and deep in my heart, but it's there, nagging me to let my bravery shine. If I could join the resistance and help fight off this threat to the whole world, I would be content. Since I won't be able to teach anyways, why not do something useful? I wouldn't even mind giving my life to such a cause, though I'm sure I couldn't leave Tonks alone.

I sigh, throwing the paper on top of my trunk at the end of my bed. I stand up and stretch, feeling all my sore muscles tighten up like rocks. I wince, placing my hand over the back of neck. The full moon was only a few days ago, and I can still feel it. Suddenly, I hear a banging on my bedroom door.

"Remus!" Libby calls, still banging her fist on the wooden door. "Remus!"

"What?" I call back, throwing on a shirt as I go to answer the door.

"Open the door!" she squeaks, impatient.

"Yes?" I ask, swinging the door open and looking down curiously at the twelve year-old.

"Mum told me to tell you that breakfast is ready," she giggles.

"All that banging to tell me that breakfast is ready?" I chuckle, walking back into my room to grab my wand.

"Well, and…" she says. I hear my bedroom close behind me. "I wanted to talk to you."

"What's up?" I ask, sitting on my bed. She looks around nervously, eyeing the discarded newspaper with contempt. She doesn't sit, she just stands in front of my bed with her arms crossed in front of her.

I haven't really looked at her lately, and my God, how she has grown. She's starting to look like a young lady; her light brown hair, almost the exact color of mine, braided in pigtails, her face taking a more definite shape; she has hips and is significantly taller. I'm lost in my thoughts, so I'm startled when she speaks.

"Where did Oliver go?" she blurts out. She looks scared and anxious as I stare up at her with an unreadable expression.

I sit quietly for a moment, considering the best way to answer this. Should I tell her the truth, what I know? Should I lie? Or a mixture of both? I then remember that Olivia was always on mine and Oliver's side in arguments, always the little peace maker. She doesn't particularly like Kevin, and her and Elizabeth don't get along. I sigh, clasping my hands together.

"I don't know," I admit sadly. She looks at me curiously.

"Yes you do," she argues. "You were with him the night he left."

"How do you know?" I ask, shocked.

"I saw you sneaking out of your room down to his," she says. "I couldn't hear what you guys were talking about, but the next morning, he was gone."

"Olivia-"

"Don't lie to me! I'm not a baby any more!" she exclaims, eyes welling up with tears. "And I cared about Oliver just as much as you did! He just paid more attention to you, because of your condition."

"That's not true," I say evenly. "He loved you just the-"

"Yes it is," she says, her voice cutting. "We don't need to be arguing about this. I want you to tell me the truth, because Mum and Dad won't."

"I can't tell you, Libby," I say, trying to soften my expression. "I don't even know _where_ he went, I just know why."

"Please," she begs, her voice breaking. "I need to know."

I stay silent for a moment, watching her cry. I then get up and pull her into my embrace. She cries hard into my sweater, shaking.

"Libby," I croon, rubbing her back slowly. "It's going to be okay."

"No it's not!" she insists, voice higher from crying. "There's a war going on, Remus, I'm not stupid!"

"He's going to be fine," I assure her, pulling her away so I can look her in the eye. "He's a very capable wizard. He knows his stuff, he knows how to defense himself."

She doesn't respond. I sigh as she hiccups, finally calming down.

"If I tell you something, you have to _promise_ not to tell anybody," I say. She nods her head, looking up at me with glassy eyes. "Oliver ran off to get married."

She gasps, looking incredulous. "Who?"

"His fiancé, Alisa," I explain. Her expression changes, looking sour. "She's a very nice girl, very beautiful."

"You met her?"

"Of course," I say. She breaks my gaze, looking at the floor.

"Why did he leave us here alone, Remus?" she asks, quietly, innocently.

"He couldn't take it anymore," I explain. She sighs, walking past me to sit on my bed. "I can't either. You know what I'm talking about."

"Mum and Dad? Kevin? Elizabeth?" she says, rolling her eyes. "Yeah, I know."

She stays silent for a moment, her eyes drifting to the newspaper again, reading the headline.

"You're not going to leave me, are you?" she asks, refusing to meet my eyes.

"Of course not, Libby," I say, sitting down next to her. "I wouldn't do that."

"Did you tell him?" she asks, facing me. "Did you tell him how much it was going to hurt?"

"I did," I assure her. "He… wouldn't listen. He had to leave."

"He didn't _have_ to."

"No, he didn't," I agree, wrapping my arm around her. "Everything's going to be okay, Libby. I promise."

"Pinky promise?" she asks, offering her pinky. I smile, wrapping mine around hers.

"Pinky promise."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Tonks's POV*_

I can honestly tell you that going back to Hogwarts each year is a pattern. You get up early, groggy and excited. You pack up your belongings, eat breakfast, get fussed over by your mum. Sasha and Aaron are there to see you off, both being graduates themselves. You drive to King's Cross and board the Hogwarts Express. You sit with your friends; you see your wonderful boyfriend for the first time in two months. You arrive in Hogsmede Station, and board carriages. You watch the Sorting, and eat a beautiful feast. Finally, you clamber up to bed, exhausted, and fall asleep immediately in your comfy four-poster. At least, that's how it goes for me.

Sixth year is considerably easier than fifth, not having to take O.W.L.'s this year. It's a bit difficult to get back into the flow of the new school year, and new classes. This year, I don't have all my classes with the boys. I achieved O.W.L.'s in subjects that they didn't, and vice versa. Of course, I have a few with them, thankfully.

James and Sirius are, well… James and Sirius. They flaunt their popularity a lot. James uses his excuse of 'Quidditch Captain' for a lot of things, mostly punishing Dean Jackson, who continues to date Lily. Sirius and Peter tag along, although Sirius is much more popular than Peter. People know his name, girls swoon over him, and he loves every second of it. Remus and I just stand back and watch, laughing at the good times, sighing when they do something embarrassing. Of course, they don't forget about us, how could they? They make sure we're included in everything, sit with us at meals and nighttimes. Yes, they've always been popular, but this year, for some reason, their popularity skyrocketed.

Even though all this is going on, they still manage to use their animagus forms to be with Remus on full moons, and I get to hear stories about their adventures every month. They also showed me their 'Top Secret Project.' It's called _The Marauder's Map_. James explained to me that since they've been sneaking around so much, they've been able to pretty much figure the whole castle out. It's amazing. Of course, it's not finished, but the rough draft blows my mind.

Somehow, through all this madness, daily life continues. Every morning at breakfast, Remus reads the _Daily Prophet_ and fills us in with the latest on the war. He looks very uncomfortable when he does this, having to clear his throat a lot. I listen, saddened at every death, cheering at the few victories we have.

One Saturday morning in November, I'm in the girl's bathroom, down the hall from the common room, taking a shower. It was a hard night last night, and I can't stop thinking about it. James and Sirius were off at Quidditch practice, and Peter was at tutoring, so it was just me and Remus, which, normally would've been wonderful, but there was something odd going on inside his mind. As we sat in front of the fire, just talking, he kept getting distracted, and lost his train of thought a lot. He would gaze off, tuning me out, and I would have to bring him back to reality. He looked pained and upset, and I wasn't sure if it was because the full moon was a few days ago, or what, but there was something not right.

I'm the only girl in the bathroom this early, so it's very quiet and peaceful. I sing a little, any song that pops into my head. I'm trying very hard not to think about my trouble, but it keeps invading my brain. As I'm washing the shampoo out of my hair, I hear a frantic banging on the bathroom door.

"TONKS!" I hear someone screaming. "TONKS! WE NEED YOU!"

I shut off the water, as still as a mouse, my mind whirring. It's James and Sirius.

"What is it?!" I call, getting out of the shower and hastily drying off.

"It's Remus!" James calls. "He's on a rampage! There's something wrong, he won't listen to us!"

I freeze, my breath catching in my chest. "I'll be right out!" I throw my sweatpants and tank top on, grabbing my stuff and flying out the door.

"Where is he?" I ask frantically, seeing James and Sirius's anxious faces.

"The dorm," Sirius explains as we rush off down the corridor, my hair dripping wet. "He started screaming and throwing things about this morning. We don't know what started it. We tried to stop him, but we couldn't, he wouldn't listen."

"We figured he'd listen to you," James adds as we reach the Fat Lady.

"_Salamander," _I blurt out. The portrait hole swings open, and I practically run through it and across the common room. I rush up both sets of stairs, and throw open the door to _Sixth Year Boys. _What I see shocks me.

The contents of the dorm are strewn about; books, sheets, pillows, clothes. A nightstand lies overturned in the center of the room. In the middle of all this mess stands my boyfriend, crouched down on the floor, his head in his hands. I tentatively walk over to his shaking form. As I get closer, I can hear he's crying.

"Remus?" I quietly ask, afraid he'll snap and start destroying something else. He doesn't answer, but freezes. "Remus, it's me." I lay my hand on his shoulder, and he cringes away for a second. "Remus, what's wrong?"

"Tonks-"

"Yeah, it's me," I say comfortingly, squatting down next to him. I turn and see his face, scrunched up and red with anger. "Remus, please tell me what's wrong."

He turns and looks at me, his eyes fierce for a moment, then softening. He practically falls sideways onto my lap, his face burying into my shoulder. He bawls, shaking so hard he's making me shake. I pull him into my lap, wrapping my arms tight around him.

"I'm so sorry," he manages. "I didn't mean to. I got carried away."

"I'm not mad," I explain. "No one is. Just tell me why you did it. Please."

"I can't do it anymore," he explains, his back heaving up and down for air. "This lycanthropy. I can't, I can't, I can't."

"Shhhh," I croon, pulling him even closer. I glance over at the door and see the boys standing there with wide eyes. I mouth _Go_ at them and they quietly close the door. "Remus, you're so strong-"

"And this war," he goes on. "All this death. All this pain. It'll never end."

"Yes it will," I assure him, firm. "We have people working on our side. They're doing their best-"

"And Oliver," he cries. This strikes me as odd; he hasn't said anything about Oliver before. "He left. He ran off to get away from my family and get married. I haven't seen him in months and I'm worried."

"I'm sure he's fine, Remus," I say. "He's a powerful wizard. I have faith in him."

"It's just all this," he explains, pulling away to look at me with his tear-strained face. "It all culminated and I'm so sorry. I guess werewolves have tempers."

"It's fine," I say, wiping away his tears. "Forget about it. You have me and the boys, you always will, no matter what."

"I have you," he mutters, a small smile breaking through. "I love you."

"I love you, too," I mutter, giving him a small kiss on his cheek. He suddenly grabs my face and plants a passionate kiss on my lips. When we break, he's breathing heavily, calming himself down.

"I'll always have you."

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Hey guys! Do you like this one?! I think it needed to happen, just to start the war-era. Thoughts? I do! I get a little emotional! :')

Also, did I skate over too much? I skipped a few things, like the ball, and going back to school, but I figured that was getting a little repetitive. Is that cool with you guys, or do you like me going through every little detail?

Okay, guys. Lemme just say one thing: Yes. I know Tonks is a Hufflepuff. I've always known. And I made her a Gryffindor for the sake of this story. It would've been much harder to write her in a different house, and I think she fits well there. So yes, to all of your inquiring minds, she is really a Hufflepuff, but I prefer her in Gryffindor. This is Fanfiction, isn't it?

So that's all for now! Hopefully I'll be able to write this week! I have a show this weekend, and it's tech week, so it might be a little hard! Have a great week, guys! I love you all to death!

PLEASE REVIEW! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE! :D

xoxo


	75. Chapter 74

"_We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly."- Sam Keen, from To Love and Be Loved_

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Remus's POV*_

I am very, very ashamed for what I did. I don't even remember what catalyzed it, all I remember is Tonks kneeling by my side, calling my name to calm down. I snapped out of whatever trance I was in, and came back to reality, where I couldn't hold myself together any longer. I'll never be able to apologize to James and Sirius enough, them being the ones that witnessed my rampage. After a day relaxing in bed with Tonks, I feel much better. I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders, and I can live again.

Weeks pass without incident. Daily life continues; classes, homework, meals. I honestly cannot wait for the Christmas break, because unlike last year, we aren't scrambling to prepare for O.W.L.s, and life is quite banal. Tonks tries to stay positive, telling me that I should enjoy this normality, because it won't be around for long. I continue to get newspapers every day, and, well, you can guess what most articles are about.

But, just in time, the temperature drops, and spirits rise in the school. Decorations are hung all around, Christmas trees are put up, and James and Sirius are back to their usual, jolly selves. Snow falls heavily outside, blanketing the entire school and grounds in soft, white, glistening snow.

The first day of Christmas break is a grand one. When we wake up, we realize most of Gryffindor house is gone away for Christmas. Most parents probably called their children home because of the war, but not ours, save Peter; his mum always makes him go home for Christmas. We meet Tonks in the common room, still in our pajamas, just relaxing.

"Thank God for Christmas break!" Sirius exclaims, throwing himself down on the couch. James takes a seat next to him, sighing in satisfaction. He stretches himself out, placing his feet on the coffee table and his hands behind his head.

"Ahhhh," he says, closing his eyes. "Relaxation. I've been waiting since September for this."

We sit in peaceful silence for a few moments, Tonks's head nestled on my shoulder. I wrap my arm tight around her, keeping her warm in the chill morning air.

"Do you guys remember our first Christmas break?" James suddenly asks, bringing us all back to reality.

"Of course," Sirius says. "We had snowball fights, and ate the gorgeous feast, and hung out… It was great. I'll never forget it."

"We should do that again," Tonks suggests, a mad gleam suddenly in her eye.

"Do what again?" James asks, turning curiously to her.

"Have a snowball fight, of course!" she explains, sitting up in excitement.

"Tonks, how old are we?" Sirius mutters, rolling his eyes.

"You two act like you're about five, so this works out perfectly," she says with a smirk. They look flabbergasted as she continues. "Come on, for old time's sake! Me and Remus against you two!"

James and Sirius share ominous looks, smirking.

"Fine," James agrees, nodding. "But only for old time's sake!"

We rush up to our dorms to get our coats on, and rush right back down. I wear my brown pea coat that hangs down almost to my knees over my jeans. When Tonks rushes down, she has on her jeans and a blue coat with green tribal patterns all over it. It has a hood with fur around it, like an Eskimo. She also has a black beanie pulled down over her head and black gloves. She walks over to me, sly and elegant, her Christmas red hair shining. She kisses me lightly on the cheek, whispering:

"You look snazzy, Rem."

I blush as she pulls away, looking up at me with shining eyes. "Thank you."

We stroll down empty corridors and out the Oak Front Door, laughing and goofing around. When we step outside, we realize the snow reaches our knees. The sun shines brightly, making it all glisten like diamonds. It's freezing, the air sharp with coldness that burns your lungs and mouth. A light snow falls, catching in everyone's hair and eyelashes.

"Hey!" I hear Tonks screech. I turn to see James and Sirius cracking up, and Tonks with the remains of a snowball in her hair. "We didn't start yet, you prats!"

"Well, now we have!" James exclaims, reaching down to make another snowball. Tonks and I quickly follow suit, making as many snowballs as we possibly can before hurling them at James and Sirius. I get hit in the face with ice and snow a lot, but I can't help but feel like a kid again, throwing snowballs, laughing, have a great time.

Our battle takes us down by the frozen lake, under our tree. Remus and I hide behind it's massive trunk, making snowballs, listening for James and Sirius, who had disappeared a few moments ago.

"I feel like a kid again," she muses, stacking a newly formed snowball in her pile.

"Me too," I say, stopping my snowball-making for just a moment to look at her. Her hair is damp and stringy in her face; her face itself is red with cold and laughter, her eyes shining with happiness and joy as she reaches down to make another snowball. She looks like a winter goddess, crouched down in the snow.

I grab her and pull her in to kiss her, wrapping my arms as tightly as they can around her. She responds, a bit shocked at first, but then returns the kiss with equal fervor. The next thing I know, I feel a ball of snow hit us right where our lips meet.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Tonks's POV*_

It's December 24th, 1976. Finally, Christmas Eve.

James and Sirius ran off to see Madam Rosmerta about food and drinks for the little party they said they were going to throw for the four of us, but they've been gone for over an hour. So, Remus and I have claimed the dorm for ourselves, lounging in his bed, enjoying the blizzard taking place outside.

Something's been nagging my mind for the past month, ever since Remus's breakdown. I'm faced away from him at the moment, his arm draped lazily over my hip as we gaze out the window. I cock my head to the right and see him still staring fixedly at the snow.

"Remus?" I ask, quietly, innocently.

"Hmm?" he asks, not opening his mouth, but glancing down at me.

"I have… a question," I say.

"Anything, love," he says, rolling onto his back. I crawl after him, placing my chin on his soft sweater. I reach up and fondle his tie, thinking about the best way to ask.

"How did you… become a werewolf?" I ask, looking up at him anxiously. He looks down at me with a confused expression. "I know you got bitten," I continue. "But… what happened?"

"You've never heard?" he asks. I shake my head. "I'm surprised."

"I'm sorry, if you don't want to-"

"No," he says, shaking his head slightly. "You need to know."

He sighs, looking back out the window as he thinks. His face turns dark and pain-stricken, thinking about his past.

"Well, I suppose it all started with my father writing that newspaper article about Fenrir Greyback."

"What newspaper article?" I ask, knitting my eyebrows together.

He scoffs. "My dad used to be a really famous writer for the _Daily Prophet_. Used to be one of the best. He was in a really high rank, we had a surplus of money, and life was good. Then, Greyback began his campaign. He wanted to create a werewolf-army of some sorts. He would attack innocent children, taking them from their parents to train them. His motto was 'Get them while they're young.'"

"That's terrible," I mutter.

"I know," he agrees, taking a deep breath and continuing. "So, my dad got wind of all this, and decided to tell the public."

"They didn't know?" I asked, incredulous.

"Nope," he says with disgust. "The Ministry wanted to keep it all hush-hush. If your child was attacked, you were forbidden to say anything about it."

I widen my eyes in shock. He looks down at me, grabbing my chin between his forefinger and thumb. "Anyways, he wrote an article _all_ about Greyback, and what he did, who he was with, who he had attacked, etc. Everything about him was revealed. My dad slipped it past his editor and into the next edition of the paper without anyone knowing. Well, as you can imagine, chaos broke out. People went mad, calling the Ministry, boarding up their houses, going on hunts for the monster himself. The Ministry found out who did it and fired my dad that very day. He was fined hundreds of galleons, taking us from our comfortable life into one of poverty."

He pauses, his breath catching in his throat.

"A few days later, Elizabeth and I were outside playing. We used to get along, me and Elizabeth. It seems so odd now, so distant. Anyway, my parents were inside, obviously struggling with the debt they had. The house was about to be taken away and they weren't bothered by what we were doing. Well, I guess they didn't think Greyback would try anything against my father. Obviously, they were wrong."

I feel my heartbeat quicken, wanting this story to come to an end.

"Kevin and Oliver were inside with my parents, and Libby was too young, so it was just me and Elizabeth outside. We had heard some rustling in the bushes earlier, but thought it was just an animal…"

He takes another pause, swallowing hard.

"Then, the full moon rose, bright and beautiful in the sky. I had always loved full moons as a young child, so I was mesmerized. Then, we heard it. The growling, the rustling, the painful shrieks of a transformation. Before I could even blink, there was a full grown werewolf in my backyard."

I feel tears falling down my eyes, knowing the end to this tale.

"You want to know what the funny part was? I wasn't Greyback's original target. He went for Elizabeth first, her being younger than me. In a split second, I made a decision to go help her, and… well, he turned on me."

"I… didn't know-"

"She doesn't know either," he says, looking sadly at his chest. His eyes are glassy, his mind whirring, remembering that fateful night. "I don't think she'll ever know. I don't really want her to."

He picks at a loose thread in the sheets, lost in his thoughts.

"Of course, I screamed, and he howled and tried to drag me away. My dad got there first, shooting a spell directly in his eye, making him release me. I almost died that night. But, if I did I wouldn't be here with you."

He reaches over, laying his hand on mine.

"I love you, Remus," I say, leaning up to kiss him. "I'm sorry about all of this. It's a terrible story."

"Yes, but it's mine," he says, our lips still centimeters from each other. "And I live up to it."

"You do," I agree, smiling. He kisses me again, slowly, softly.

"I still have the scar," he brags jokingly. "Want to see?"

"Of course," I say. He hastily takes off his sweater and button down shirt, revealing his completely bare torso. It's the first time I've ever seen him like this, and I can feel my heartbeat quicken and my breathing become uneven.

"Right here," he says, turning a little to show me his left side. Right along his ribs is a huge scar like a bite mark. The mouth must've been almost as big as his hand as he runs his fingers across it. The funny thing is, he doesn't even have to look. He just knows where it is, the curves in it, the texture. I reach over and touch it; it's raised and fairly warmer than the rest of his torso. I run my finger down it, feeling the curve of the jaw line and teeth marks.

"The bastard broke some of my ribs," he says, pulling his hand away. I do the same, but continue to stare at it.

"It's impressive," I muse, chuckling. I look back up at his gorgeous amber eyes and melt. I crawl forward, placing my lips on his again.

His hand comes from behind and buries itself in my hair, pushing my face closer to his. I have one hand on his chest, feeling his muscles and warmth. I lay myself down, deepening the kiss, my other hand finding his light brown hair. I sigh as we break for air, our eyes meeting and a million unspoken things go between us.

Suddenly, he grabs me and flips me onto my back, his arms bracing themselves on either side of me as we continues to kiss. I have my arms wrapped around his shoulders as he moves from my lips to my neck. I unconsciously take one hand from his shoulders to undo the buttons on my shirt. He doesn't respond, but continues to kiss me.

An idea suddenly comes to mind, but it takes me a few minutes to actually do it. Once he's back to my lips, my free hand wanders to the buttons on his jeans. I one-handedly try to undo them, quite clumsily I might add.

"Tonks," he mutters through our kiss, pulling away. "What are you doing?"

"Remus-"

"Please," he says, face still inches from mine. "Don't."

I feel my heart sink and my face blush bright red. I feel beyond embarrassed, in bed with the man I love, but he doesn't want to.

"I-I'm sorry," I manage, my air coming in spurts.

"Tonks it's not that… I don't not _want_ to," he says, noticing my dismay. "Believe me, darling. I want to."

I swallow, confused. "But?"

"But," he starts, shifting his arms so he can place a hand on my cheek. "We just… can't."

"Why not?" I ask, searching his face for the answer. "We're practically adults, and I love you-"

"It's not that I don't love you," he says, chuckling. "No, no it's not that. It's not that I don't want you, either. I'm just… not ready."

"Not ready?" I ask, feeling my face flush again.

"No," he says simply, not taking his eyes off me. "I'm sorry, Tonks-"

"Don't be sorry," I mutter. "We shouldn't anyways."

I wait for him to roll off me, looking up at him sourly. He sighs, rolling to the right on his back. I sit up, my shirt still wide open, my face flushed with embarassment.

"Dora-"

"What did you just call me?" I ask, whipping around to face him, chuckling.

"Dora."

"I've only ever heard my father call me Dora," I muse, laying back down.

"Do you not want me to use it?" he asks tentatively, knowing he's skating on thin, thin ice with me right now.

"No," I say, smirking. "I like when you say it. Say it again."

"Dora," he says. "I love you."

"I love you, too," I mutter, planting another kiss on his lips. Yes, I'm still embarrassed. But, maybe he's right. We're not ready.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Hey guys! I love writing them older. Thoughts?

I don't have much to say! That's all for now! So long, fare thee well, pip-pip-cheerio!

PLEASE REVIEW GUYS! *hugs*

xoxo


	76. Chapter 75

"_Love makes your soul crawl out from its hiding place."-Zora Neale Hurston_

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Tonks's POV*_

I tap my combat boot-clad foot against the radiator in the common room, waiting anxiously for the boys to come downstairs. It's been over half an hour since they hurriedly told me to 'chill' in the common room while they got ready. Apparently I was 'nagging' them to actually get to class on time, or so Sirius said.

"We're going to be late," I mutter under my breath, readjusting my book bag on my shoulder. I watch the other students milling about, some talking to friends, others getting a bit of last minute studying in. _I guess we're skipping breakfast,_ I think morosely, watching Scarlet slink by. She throws a dirty smirk my way, and I make sure to give it right back to her.

"Morning, Tonksie," James calls from the foot of the stairs, the four of them walking towards me. He glances over at Lily and messes his hair up, receiving a slap in the face from Sirius.

"Prongs," he mutters, rolling his eyes.

"Sorry," James replies sarcastically. He flops down next to me, his head on my shoulder, watching Lily talking animatedly with Lydia.

"You're a bit late," I scoff, pulling away so his head slips off. He grunts, regaining his composure, giving me an odd look. "McGonagall will have our heads for this."

Remus suddenly leans over and plants a soft, timid kiss on my cheek. I accept it, but begrudgingly.

"Sorry," James says, standing up and leading the five of us out of the common room. "We were uh… working on something."

"On what?" I ask, my foot catching on the lip of the portrait hole. I stumble forward, but Remus's ready and outstretched arms catch me. "Thanks," I mutter, speeding up my pace to walk alongside James and Sirius, leaving him behind.

Things haven't been all smiles and sunshine since Christmas Eve. It's not even that we're mad at each other, it's just that every time I'm around him, I feel… awkward. He knows what I want, and he also knows he won't give it to me. For whatever reason, he stays reserved and cold when we're alone. I'm sure he feels equally as awkward, being the one who stopped it from occurring.

"Yanno," James says, glancing over at me. "Our special project."

"The map?" I ask. James nods. "When can I see it?"

"When it's done!" Sirius protests, rolling his eyes. "Stop asking."

"And that'll be…?" I ask, ignoring his snide comment.

"Can't tell you," James admits. "I've never been particularly good at Divination."

"Asshole," I mutter, chuckling as we round the bend into another corridor.

I look outside disconsolately, patting my wand absentmindedly on my thigh. A light snow falls, and the clouds outside are dark and foreboding. I can't help but think that this is prefect weather for a war. I know it sounds dark and a little crazy, but when I think of a war with death and violence, I think of a sky like this one.

"So," Sirius says, pulling me from my thoughts. "You going to try to woo Evans tomorrow, Prongs?" He raises an eyebrow and nudges him jokingly in the ribs with his elbow.

"Why would tomorrow be different than any other day?" I ask, knitting my eyebrows together and chuckling.

"Well, considering the date…" Sirius says, looking falsely confused to mock me. I don't respond, my brain still working furiously to figure out what they're talking about. "Valentine's Day?"

"Oh," I say, letting out a breath I didn't know I was holding in. "Shit."

"You forgot?" James asks, incredulous. We've finally reached the third floor, and start heading down the correct corridor.

"I suppose I did," I admit, glancing back at Remus. He looks glum, yet somehow uptight. He's looking down morosely at the floor, his hands restless in his pockets. "It's just been so busy-"

"I'll be right back guys, okay?" Remus suddenly announces, bolting off down a side corridor.

James and Sirius share confused looks as the bell rings, then turn simultaneously to me.

"Is… everything alright between you two?" James asks as we start walking again. The hall is slowly emptying, and we're obviously late. I blush, aggravated.

"We're fine," I mutter, walking ahead so I can't see their faces. My feet stomp into the ground, my hands fists in my pockets.

"I don't believe you, chickadee," Sirius calls. I stop, blushing even harder. I turn back around to see their approaching figures.

"We're…."

"Tell us," James says, not even concerned that we're already late to class.

"James Alexander Potter," I start. "There's nothing wrong."

He looks at me curiously, glancing at Sirius for support. "I've noticed something different about him lately."

"We've all been acting different lately," I admit, glancing around for any teachers. "I've got to get to class."

I turn around and bolt up a hidden staircase behind a tapestry, running to get away from the boys.

"Don't think that you can get out of answering by running away!" Sirius calls up stairs, but I'm too far away to hear him.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Remus's POV*_

I slide into the bathroom, my feet as heavy as bricks as I head for the sink. I put my hands on either side, bracing myself, staring down into the empty white basin. My shoulders heave from my labored breathing, my hands sweaty and twitchy.

I know James and Sirius will come looking for me, they don't care about skipping class. I try to pull myself together so they don't find me in this state again. I sigh, sliding my sweater over my head and onto my bag on the floor. I splash some water on my face, then tentatively look up.

My face. _My face. _

So damaged. So pain-riddled. How Tonks see love in this face? How does she see desire, or lust? I see a man at the end of his rope, one who's been trough the wringer. I see scars running in every direction, all painful reminders of the past. I reach up and trace the one diagonally across my face, three distinct claws; this is the one from third year, when I watched Tonks and Sirius dance. I run my finger along one down my neck, another along my jaw line. So many scars.

I splash more water on my face, almost furiously, hoping that maybe this face will wash away and a new one will appear, one that hasn't seen all I have seen, one that hasn't done all I have done.

I sigh again, sliding down to the floor to collect my things. I stuff books and papers that fell out when I threw my bag down back in. A small tear escapes my eye and rolls down my cheek.

Sometimes, I feel like my scars are more than scars; they're cracks, deeper and more tangible than scars. They penetrate my being, deep and hateful, representing every thing that has impacted my life negatively; my family, this war, lycanthropy. I feel like one little thing could cause me to shatter and fall apart, for I'm fragile. I can't risk a new type of relationship with Tonks now, I feel too unstable.

I sit up quickly, pulling my sweater back over my head and standing. I turn around and take one more hateful look in the mirror before turning to leave. I stride across the tiled floor, dreading having to make contact with anyone else today. But, just as I'm about to pull the door open, it bursts back in the other direction.

"Remus!" James exclaims, causing students in the hallway to turn and stare. "What the _hell_ is going on between you and Tonks?!"

I take a deep, shuddering breath as the door swings closed again. "Nothing."

"That's what she told us," Sirius interjects. "We didn't believe her."

"Well," I say, trying to push past them. "You're going to have to believe it, because that's the answer."

"Lies, Moony," James says, raising his eyebrows, reaching out a hand to stop me. I sigh, running my hand through my hair, thinking. "Were you… crying?"

He leans in to inspect my face closer, frowning.

"Yeah," I admit, digging the heels of my hands into my eye sockets, trying to stop the tears. "We… she tried-" I stop, looking at their anxious faces. "We're late, let's-"

"No, Remus John Lupin, you're going to tell us right now," James says, jumping up and sitting on a sink, still glaring at me curiously.

"She wanted to take it to the next level and I wasn't ready," I blurt out very fast, letting out a deep breath. They look at me curiously, then turn to face each other, trying to suppress giggles.

"What's so funny?" I ask, irritated that they're laughing.

"You guys haven't had sex already?"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Tonks's POV*_

I lay in my four-poster, staring blankly up at the canopy above. I lay with my shoes and coat still on, too tired and irritable to take them off. I take deep breaths, tapping my fingers nervously on my stomach, trying to calm down.

March rains have begun, washing away all remnants of winter. Buds are showing on all the trees, and the grounds are muddy, saturated with all the downpours we've been getting lately. I've just gotten out of detention in the greenhouses with Professor Sprout; apparently, you aren't allowed to teach cuss words to the talking plants. My purple hair is soaked from my trek back up to the school, and it lays sticking uncomfortably to face and neck; my make-up is running down my face, leaving black tracks down both of my cheeks. All in all, I feel like shit and just want to have a few moments alone.

James and Sirius are off at Quidditch practice; I can see them through the window next to my bed. James seems to making them work pretty hard, for all I can see are red blurs flying around the pitch. Peter went to go watch, as James told me this morning over breakfast. Why anyone would want to go stand around a soggy pitch all day, I don't know.

I suddenly hear voices coming from the bathroom, hushed and frantic. I turn my head curiously in the direction of the voices, cocking my head so my ear is closer to the door. I roll my eyes, recognizing the voices of Scarlet and May.

I ignore them, rolling onto my side back to the window. I run my fingers down my arm subconsciously, trying to close my eyes, but the voices in the bathroom keep getting louder and louder, making it impossible for me to sleep. Suddenly, I hear a tapping on the window across the dorm. I roll over again, seeing Remus's owl fluttering by the glass with a note clutched in her leg. I raise an eyebrow, getting up to retrieve it. It reads:

_Dora,_

_Please come to my dorm. I want to talk to you._

_Love, _

_Remus_

My breath catches in my chest as I fold the letter again, placing it gently in my lap. He wants to talk to me… Could it be about Christmas Eve? Is he done with… us?

I peel off my soggy trainers and socks, and pull on a fresh pair. I then tentatively venture out of the dorm and into the dimly lit hallway. As I'm descending the stairs, still trying not to faint, I hear a high-pitched scream come from _6__th__ Year Girls_. I stop and roll my eyes again; they probably tore the padding for their bras or something. _Idiots,_ I think, then continue.

Each step towards his dorm is forced and heavy, my hand gripping the railing like it's my lifeline. I feel nervous sweat start to bead on my forehead, my hands twitchy and my heartbeat racing. My stomach is full of butterflies as I reach _6__th__ Year Boys_. There's a sound coming from within.

I knock, too confused to be worried anymore. Suddenly, the door swings open and I'm pulled into the room my a pair of strong, warm arms. I feel his soft lips meet mine as the door swings closed again.

Remus breaks the kiss, staring down at me with the old twinkle in his eye. This gets rid of any of my nerves, and makes joy well up inside me like a balloon.

"Hello," he says mischievously.

"Wotcher," I mutter, breathless. "What's going on?"

"Well," he says, running his hands down my back. He looks down at me with fervor, thinking about what to say next. "I wanted to… apologize."

"For?" I ask, already knowing the answer.

"You know," he says, kissing my forehead.

"Don't apologize, Rem," I say, looking down at his tie; I reach up and nonchalantly straighten it. He responds by taking my hand and placing on his face.

"I want to," he says, looking down at me, smiling excitedly. "I've… been feeling better. My depression-" he swallows, looking down. "-it's been better."

"I'm glad," I say, smiling even more broadly. "That's really great."

"I know," he says, grabbing both of my hands and holding them in between us. "I got a letter from Oliver, I think that's why."

"Really?!" I ask, eyes widening in excitement. "What did it say?!"

"They're fine," he says, releasing a sigh of relief. "He wouldn't tell me where they are, but… they're married."

"That's wonderful!" I exclaim.

"And, well…" he says, blushing. "They think she's pregnant."

"Wow," I say, my heart expanding. "You'll be an uncle, Remus!"

"I'm very happy for them," he says, releasing my hands and turning around, running his hands through his hair. He breaths heavily, dropping his arms back to his sides. "This can't be real."

"Of course it is," I say, standing back and watching him. He turns back around and eyes me curiously.

"You've been out in this rain, haven't you?" he asks, still feet away from me across the dorm.

"Detention," I explain, blushing. "Sorry, I look like death."

"The thing is," he says, slowly walking over and placing a hand on my hip, looking down at me lovingly. "You don't."

"Thank you," I say, blushing. He leans down and places the softest and most gentle kiss on my lips. I reach up and run my hands through his soft brown hair, pulling myself closer. His arms snake around my waist, almost forcefully. He deepens the kiss, giving it a fervor we've never experienced before.

"Come here," he mutters against lips, taking my hand and slowly leading me toward his bed.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

Hey guys! Merry Christmas! :D

SooOoOoooOooo… there you have it! I feel like you guys are going to respond negatively to this, but I feel like it's open to interpretation. And, they _are_ older. Maybe a little young, but hey, the 70s were a weird time, awesome, but weird. So, if you do have something negative to say, say it, but please nicely ^.^

I love you all! Have a blessed holiday!

xoxo


	77. Chapter 76

_Happy One Year Anniversary. _

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Remus's POV*_

_A new kind of relationship. _Yeah, that about sums it up. I learned so much not only about her, but about myself as well. Although I like to consider myself a mature person, I think I matured as well; I felt myself grow up and, for lack of a better term, become a man. Yes, things are different now, but they are so much better and more beautiful than before.

Things got better after that one night in early March. Our relationship got stronger, we became closer and more open to one another, and maybe it was a coincidence, but the war seemed to stand still, right in its tracks. The newspaper stopped publishing horrible stories about death and destruction, and more about what the resistance was doing to stop it. The world outside was slowly coming back to life, and sunlight flooded the castle, raising everyone's hopes and spirits.

I feel content with my life; my brother is happy and healthy, my friends stick by my side, and my beautiful girlfriend and I have a wonderful, renewed relationship. Days go by, and I'm so busy exploring the benefits of this wonderful new life, that I can barely keep track of the time. One morning, I'm not awoken by my alarm like I usually am, but by hushed whispers surrounding my bed.

"Shush, James, you'll wake him."

"He's probably already awake because of you."

"Nuh-uh."

"Yeah-huh."

"Wormtail, stop stomping on my foot."

"Sorry!"

"Do you have the confetti ready?"

"Of course I have the confetti ready."

"I was just checking."

"WORMTAIL."

"I said I was sorry!"

"Would you _shut up_ already?" I moan, opening my eyes groggily; three large, human-like blurs surround my bed. I blink several times, and see James, Sirius, and Peter come into focus.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOONY!" they all exclaim simultaneously. Sirius throws confetti at my face and Peter blows one of those party noise makers. I flinch and close my eyes, not ready to have all this commotion so early in the morning.

"Thank you?" I mutter, tentatively opening my eyes. I reach up and wipe confetti off my face. "It's my birthday?"

"The 10th?" James asks, looking down at me, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah…" I say, unsure. I get out of bed and walk over to the _Hot Chicks with Baby Animals _calendar (Sirius insisted) that we have pinned to the wall by the door. Sure enough, it's the 10th of March, 1977. "Wow."

"You forgot your own birthday?" James asks, chuckling. I turn around to see the three of them looking at me curiously.

"Suppose I did," I admit, laughing at my own stupidity. "I guess there's just so much going on-"

"You're too busy f-"

"Don't even say it," I say, covering my eyes and holding out a hand at Sirius to stop him. "I know what you were going to say."

I lower my hand as he chuckles mischievously.

"Not true, by the way," I say, walking back to sit on my bed.

"Well," James says, turning the attention back to me. "We have a whole day of fun planned out for you!"

"This should be interesting," I mutter under my breath, looking up James and Sirius.

"AND," Sirius starts. "It's all a surprise."

"Guys, you didn't have to-"

"Oh, but we did!" James cuts me off. "It's not everyday that you're best mate turns of age!"

"Break out the Firewhiskey!" Sirius exclaims, scuttling off to grab the spare bottle they keep in the bedside cabinet.

"Day drinking," James muses as Sirius fills up his cup. "My favorite."

"I shouldn't," I say, pushing away the filled cup Sirius is handing to me.

"You're of age now!" James argues. "At least you can drink legally."

I sigh, taking the mug from Sirius begrudgingly.

"To Remus John Lupin-" James says, raising his mug; we all follow suit. "-a great friend, boyfriend, and the cutest little werewolf I've ever seen."

I chuckle as I bring the mug to my lips and take a drink. It's cold, yet somehow hot; it burns down my throat, giving my stomach a warm feeling and a pleasant lightheadedness to my brain.

"Remember when we first met you?" James asks, draining his mug in one gulp. He reaches for the bottle placed at the end of my bed. "You were such a scrawny little git."

"Was I?" I ask, chuckling. I take another sip. "I was scared out of my mind."

"We all were," Sirius assures me. "James and I just showed it differently than you."

"Differently, as in being overconfident and obnoxious?" I ask, chuckling. Sirius throws me a dirty look.

"I suppose…." he says slowly, bring the mug to his lips so he didn't have to talk anymore.

"Thanks guys," I say, setting my empty mug down in my lap. "For making these last six years the best of my life."

XXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Later that night*_

The 'day of fun' planned by James and Sirius turned out to be … well, fun, actually. At breakfast, they got their hands on some sparklers and put them in my waffles as they got everyone at our table to sing _Happy Birthday_ to me. They made sure all classes were interesting that day, either by asking the teacher ridiculous questions, or blowing up their cauldrons in potions, or even transfiguring McGonagall's pointed hat into an owl; she didn't even notice, and kept asking why the whole class was laughing.

They end the day by throwing a huge party for me in the Gryffindor common room. They bring full course meals back from _The Three Broomsticks_ and multiple bottles of Firewhiskey; they decorate the whole room in red and gold banners, streamers, and confetti; they even get a cake (from where, I have no idea) that has _Happy Birthday Remus! _written on it in red icing. I feel a little embarrassed about all the fuss over me, but I'm beyond thankful.

People who've never talked to me before in my life are coming up to me and wishing me a happy birthday. I used to be known as 'that tall bloke who hangs around James and Sirius' or 'Nymphadora Tonks's boyfriend.' Now, people actually know me by my name.

"Happy Birthday, Remus!" some black-haired 7th year exclaims, wrapping her arms around my neck, then scampering off to get more Firewhiskey.

"You're a celebrity now, aren't you?" Tonks chuckles from my side.

"It feels like it," I muse, turning back to her after the shock wore off. I wrap my arm around her shoulders, her head on my chest.

The furniture has been pushed off to the sides of the room to make a huge dance floor, and it's packed; Sirius put a charm on the old radio in the corner to make it louder, and it's playing the best songs. The refreshment table is off to the right, and Tonks and I are stationed on the other side of the room, by the windows. We've taken refuge on a couch after dancing for a few songs, for I was getting tired; the full moon is only a few days off.

"Well, I'm glad to know I'm dating a celebrity," she says playfully, tracing patterns in my sweater absentmindedly with her finger. I lean over and kiss her hair before speaking.

"Well I'm dating a model," I say. She blushes, looking up at me with wide eyes.

"I am not," she says, smirking.

"You are, too," I insist, grabbing a lock of her pink hair and twirling it around my finger. She doesn't respond, but blushes even brighter.

"Guys!" we hear Sirius call through the crowd. He pushes past a group of dancing 5th years to find us on our couch. "Some party, eh?"

I can smell the alcohol on him. "Sirius, you need to stop with the Firewhiskey," I say, pinching my nose.

"I only get drunk at parties, Moony," he assures me quite sloppily, slurring his words.

"Yes," I say, rolling my eyes. "And you get a little _too_ drunk."

"Killjoy," he spats in my direction. I flinch, irritated. "Anyway, 'ave you seen Scarlet?"

"No," Tonks pipes up. "I believe she's in the dorm with May though."

"Good," he says, wiping whiskey off his lips. "I've gotta go see 'er."

"You, uh…" I start, watching his retreating figure. "Have fun with that…"

"He likes his Firewhiskey _a little _too much," Tonks says, chuckling.

"Just a little," I add, chuckling a long with her. We've both only had about one glass, but I can still feel the effects it has on my mental state.

"Don't even talk to me!" Lily's voice suddenly screeches across the room. Remus and I whip our heads around to see her bolting up the staircase to the girl's dorms, and Dean Jackson standing hopelessly at the foot of those stairs. No one else seemed to have noticed, so we turn back around and pretend not to have seen anything.

"Do you think they're fighting?" I whisper.

"No duh," she whispers back; I give her a look.

"I was just asking," I say, and she grimaces.

"Woah," James says, finding our hidden oasis as well. "Did you just see Evans-"

"Yes," Tonks says, frowning. "I guess we weren't the only ones to notice."

"What happened?" I ask, looking expectantly up at James.

"Hell if I know," he says, taking a seat on the other side of Tonks. "I just watched them have a spat in the corner, then Evans ran off."

The three of us stay silent for a moment until Peter wanders over, taking a seat next to James.

"Welcome, Wormtail," he says, patting him on the back. "We were just discussing the lovely-"

"I'm going to see if she's alright," Tonks suddenly announces, standing up. "I'll be back." She leans down and places a peck on my lips before retreating to the dormitory.

"I hope she comes back alive," James muses, taking another sip from his mug. "Evans looked lethal."

"I'm sure she can handle herself," I say, picking at a loose thread in the couch's flowery upholstery.

We stay silent for a moment, observing the party going on around us.

"Where's Sirius?" Peter suddenly pipes up.

"He went looking for Scarlet up in her dormitory," I explain. "But he's blackout drunk, so I don't think he remembers the curse on the stairs."

"Why is he looking for Scarlet?" James asks.

"Who knows," I admit, sighing.

Suddenly, as if on cue, Scarlet comes flying down the staircase, tears in her eyes, heading for the portrait hole. Her sweatpants and hoodie look messy, her hair thrown up on top of her head; this can't be the Scarlet I remember, who always looked so made up and seductive. Sirius is quickly on her tail, running behind her, Surprisingly, his speech is much improved, as if something made him sober up a bit in a few minutes. He still runs a little awkwardly, tripping over his own feet a few times.

"Scarlet!" he calls, pushing past people in the crowd to follow after her. "Come back here! We need to talk!"

He reaches the portrait hole and climbs through it, the whole room staring after him. No one talks or moves for a few seconds, shocked at what they had just witnessed. Then, someone turns the radio back on, and they start to dance once more.

"What the _hell_ is happening tonight?" James asks incredulously to my right.

"I have no idea," I answer, shrugging.

XXXXXXXXXXX

Happy One Year Anniversary _I Love You More Than Myself!_

Guys, can you believe it?! It's been whole year! You've stuck with me through every update, plot twist, and character! You've stuck with me through every show, every film, every time I took forever to update! You've been there every time James or Sirius said 'mate' or I used the word 'incredulous.' You've been there every time Remus mentally beat himself up, you've been there every time Tonks changed her hair color. You've been with me on this journey for a _whole year_, and I can't thank you enough.

So, Remus's party wasn't only for Remus. It was for this corner of fan fiction as well. It was a party celebrating one year of this story! How crazy!

I wish you a very Merry Christmas (although I'm a bit late)! I hope you all had a wonderful day! :D

I am so beyond thankful for all of you reviewers. Here's to another great year, because I'll probably still be writing then!

~AnM

xoxo

Ps. This is incredibly random, but I watched the Sherlock Holmes movie yesterday. Am I the only one to think that Watson so reminds me of Remus and Sherlock is like James and Sirius combined? Discuss.


	78. Chapter 77

"_We accept the love we think we deserve."-Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower_

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Remus's POV*_

"Come on, Pads, what the hell happened last night?"

James sits anxiously on the edge of his bed, glaring at Sirius; Sirius sits annoyed on his bed across the room, clutching to a cold rag like it's his lifeline.

"I told you," he says, bringing the rag to his forehead once again. "Nothing."

"Well," James replies. "I'm calling bullshit on that one."

"Go ahead," Sirius scoffs. "It's not going to change my answer."

James sighs, rubbing his eyes and sitting back against his pillows. I lean my head against the post of my bed, closing my eyes. This meaningless banter should've ended before it started, and I too, am getting annoyed. James has been trying to get a confession out of Sirius for the past fifteen minutes about what happened between him and Scarlet last night; Sirius won't budge. Personally, I, too, believe that there's something he isn't telling us.

"On the bright side," James suddenly announces, bringing everyone out of their daydreams. "I think Evans and Jackson broke up."

"Were they ever officially _a thing_?" Sirius asks, doing air-quotes.

"Of course," James replies, scoffing. "You never saw them mucking it up in the corridors, holding hands, kissing, making all us lonely people feel bad?"

"Kind of like Remus and Tonks?" Peter pipes up; I grimace.

"Ha. Ha," I say, not opening my eyes, for the light is giving me a headache. "Very funny."

"Anyway," James interjects. "I think it may be time to try to woo her once again."

"James," I start. "Are you really going to try again? You're just going to be let down… again."

"Of course, Lupin," he says. "I'm never going to give up. I love her."

"_Love her_," Sirius says, doing the air-quotes once again.

"Oh, shut up," James says, throwing a pillow at him. "Some mates you all are."

Sirius and I chuckle, watching James's face turn bright red.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Tonks's POV*_

"Is it officially over?" I ask, patting her back slowly.

"Yes," she manages through the tears.

Last night, when I went to go find Lily, she wouldn't talk to me, or anyone for that matter. We all had to go to sleep listening to her silently cry and sniffle. Lydia tried to coax something out of her earlier this morning, but to no avail. Now that it's mid-afternoon, and that Scarlet and May have vacated the dorm, she's willing to talk.

"If you don't mind me asking," I start. "What happened?"

"He…" she says, struggling to find the words. "He was with another girl."

"He cheated on you?" Lydia asks, incredulous.

Lily nods, wiping away her tears with the heel of her hand.

"Oh, Lils," I say, wrapping my arms tight around her. "I'm so sorry."

"It was that stupid know-it-all from Ravenclaw," she sobs. "The one with the bleach blonde hair."

At first, I thought she was talking about Marlene McKinnon, then I realized Marlene has dark brown hair, and she isn't a know-it-all.

"Who are you talking about?" I ask, confused.

"Evelyn Garrett," she sobs even harder into my shoulder. I look at Lydia, confused; I've never heard of this girl before in my life. Thankfully, Lydia looks equally confused, so I just go back to patting Lily's back and ignore it.

"It'll be okay, Lils," I croon. "I promise. There's plenty of fish in the sea."

"I hope so," she manages, sitting up and looking at me with puffy red eyes. "Thank you, Tonks."

"Don't mention it," I say, forcing a smile. "You're always there when I need you. I'm just returning the favor."

She gives a small smile, wiping away another tear.

"He sucked at kissing anyways," she muses, picking at a thread in the fabric of her comforter. "He had bad breath, too."

We all laugh, trying to raise Lily's spirits. Her smile breaks out even further as she thinks more about her crummy relationship with Dean.

"And he always grabbed my butt at the most inappropriate times," she says, chuckling. "And-"

But she's cut off by the door swinging open, and Scarlet and May stalking in. Scarlet has been crying, her face all red and puffy, almost matching Lily's. She glares over at us, heading straight to her bed, where she sits and pulls the curtains, sulking. May rolls her eyes and looks over hopelessly at us, shrugging. I don't quite know how to react to this, so I just knit my eyebrows together.

_It's Sirius,_ she mouths over at us, sighing.

_Sirius Black?_ I reply. She nods.

Something fishy is going on between Sirius and Scarlet, but neither of them will admit to anything. I'm worried, but only for Sirius's sake. If she has done anything to hurt him, I swear, she'll never hear the end of it.

"I'm going to go… check on Remus," I say, giving Lily's back one last pat before and standing and exiting the room. On my journey over to the boy's dorm, my mind is whirring; what could possibly be going on? Just as I'm about to knock, the door swings open and there stands Remus.

"Remus-"

"Shhhh," he says, placing a finger on my lips and closing the door quietly behind him. He glances over his shoulder to make sure it's closed, then grabs my hand and leads me back down the hallway.

"What's going on?" I whisper as we start descending the stairs.

"I'll explain in a moment," he whispers back.

We reach the fairly crowded common room, and take refuge in a corner, right by the window. He takes a seat, running his hands through his hair, looking anxious.

"What's going on?" I ask again.

"I'm sure you know about Sirius and Scarlet," he says, placing his hands on his knees, looking across the coffee table at me.

"I know _something_ is going on," I admit, subconsciously copying his position. "But what?"

"I was hoping you would know," he says, sighing.

"How would _I_ know?"

"You share a dorm with her!"

I stay silent for a moment, collecting my thoughts.

"So you have no idea?" he asks, several moments later.

"None," I admit, mind still whirring. "Although…"

"Although what?" he asks.

"On the day you called me over to your dorm to…" I pause, blushing. "You know… I heard them making a fuss in the bathroom."

"And?"

"I dunno," I admit, sighing and placing my chin in my palm. "I couldn't make out anything they were saying."

"Well that's a shame," he says, leaning back in his chair.

"Tell me about it," I shrug.

"He won't tell us anything," he says, running his face down his hands.

"I don't dare ask Scarlet," I say, shaking my head.

"I know it's something bad though," he says.

"Of course," I agree, nodding.

"I just wish he would tell us!" he exclaims, frustrated. "We could help him!"

"Calm down," I croon, reaching over to place a hand on his knee. He takes a deep breath, and sits back quietly in his seat. "I agree with you."

"You do?" he asks, still trying his best to calm down.

"Of course," I say, getting up and taking a seat in his lap. "We would definitely be able to help him."

"I just hope he cracks soon," Remus says, wrapping his arm around me and placing his head against mine.

"He will," I assure him, rubbing comforting circles on his chest. "Just give him time."

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Remus's POV*_

Weeks pass without any update on the Sirius-Scarlet drama. All I can conclude is that Sirius has somehow shrugged it off, yet it's taking it's toll on Scarlet. Sirius continues life with his usual swagger, yet I, knowing him as well as I do, know there's more below the surface. It's bothering him, but he won't admit it, or show it. Scarlet just isn't the same; she always seems to mope around, not looking like herself anymore. I catch her throwing glances at Sirius when they pass in the corridors, but he never returns those glances; he just sighs and looks away.

Now, were Sirius and Scarlet ever officially _a thing_? No, not officially. But everyone knew they were interested in each other, and were often found doing things they shouldn't be doing in broom cupboards. I, of course, have a theory, and voice it to Tonks one rainy evening in late April.

"What if they broke up?" I ask, observing Scarlet from across the room. She sits at a round table, trying to do some homework, but is obviously distracted by something; her face is red, her fingers tangled in her hair as she stares hopelessly down at her scroll.

"Broke up?" Tonks asks, looking up from her potions essay.

"Yeah," I say, biting on my quill nervously. "You know, stopped seeing each other."

"Stop doing that," she says, blushing. "It's distracting, I can't think."

"What?" I ask, knitting my eyebrows together, confused.

"Biting on your quill," she explains. "It's sexy."

I scoff, taking the quill from my mouth and blushing madly.

"Anyways," she says, looking back down at her essay. "I suppose it could be a theory."

"I mean, why not?" I muse again. "They've obviously stopped talking."

"I agree," she says, scratching something out.

"And," I start. "Scarlet doesn't seem herself. She's probably upset because of the break up."

"I suppose," she says slowly.

"And Sirius is trying to shrug it off, yanno, be a macho man," I finish.

"Good work, Detective Remus," she taunts, chuckling. I sigh, picking up my quill and biting it again.

"What did I say?!" she exclaims, blushing even more madly than before.

XXXXXXXXXXX

_*Sirius's POV*_

I watch her scamper down the hallway, her books clutched tightly to her body, almost like a shield. She looks nervously every which way, sighing. Her face is thin and pale, her eyes tired, dark circles looming beneath them.

What do I even say to her? How does one respond to something like this? I don't want to tell the guys just yet, they didn't even know we were together. I'm sure they speculate something, and they're probably right, but I just can't. I haven't even come to terms with it yet myself; I cared about her.

As she turns the corner, I sigh, running a hand down my face. I can't help but feel like Remus, an inch away from falling apart. But, I put on my happy face as James approaches, smiling, joking around, carefree. I laugh along with the rest of them, but deep down, I'm slowly crumbling apart.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Woah! Guys I updated twice in the same day! Is this a record?!

Everything that was said in the last update applies here. ^.^

Merry Christmas guys! Love you all! Please leave a review!

xoxo


	79. Chapter 78

"_The real lover is the man who can thrill you by kissing your forehead or smiling into your eyes or just staring into space." -Marilyn Monroe_

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Tonks's POV*_Weeks pass, and the Sirius-Scarlet incident fades into the background. Everyone seems to merely forget that anything happened, and things kind of go back to normal; Scarlet goes back to being a bitch, Sirius goes back to acting like he owns the place. That's normal. The only difference is the interaction between them. They always get so nervous around each other, blushing and looking anywhere but at the other. They don't even talk anymore, which is very odd.

"At least he seems to have gotten over it," Remus muses one evening in late May. We've found ourselves a cozy corner in the common room to catch up on homework while James and the other boys are playing a mock Quidditch game down at the pitch.

"I suppose," I admit, sighing. "She has, too."

"Good," he says. "They can get over it and move on. Things can go back to normal. I don't like this tense atmosphere."

"Neither do I," I say, writing one final sentence on my essay. This gets me thinking. "We have to take N.E.W.T.s next year, don't we?"

"Yep," Remus says, looking glumly down at his parchment. "_Nastily Exhausting Wizarding Test. _Sounds so inviting, doesn't it?"

"Oh, of course," I say sarcastically, chuckling.

"I don't suppose it'll be too difficult," he muses. "After the O.W.L.s, how can anything be worse?"

"Aaron and Sasha both told me they were horrifying," I say, rolling up my scroll and putting it in my bag. "Aaron nearly passed out when he got his first test."

"Thanks, Dora," he says, chuckling. "That makes me feel much better."

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Sirius's POV*_

One morning in early June starts out just like any other morning. I wake up to the sound of the annoying alarm, blaring like a siren on a huge boat.

"Reeeemus," I call, burying my face even deeper into my pillow. "Be a doll and get the alarm."

"Already on it," I hear him mumble, and the alarm shuts off. I breathe a sigh of relief and sit up slowly, rubbing my eyes.

"Morning," I say, yawning.

"Morning," James mutters back from his four-poster. I slide out of bed and over to the window where I get a good view of the grounds; the forest, the lake, the Whomping Willow.

"What day is it again?" Peter asks groggily from behind me.

"Monday," I groan, running a hand down my tired face. "The worst day of the week."

We all move around sluggishly to get ready, bumping into one another, knocking over things on our dressers.

"James," I call. "Your pants are on backwards."

"No they're not," he argues, yawning.

"They are, too," I say, rolling my eyes. "I don't think the zipper should be going up your ass."

He cranes his neck around to get a good look at his backside, frowning. "I suppose you're right."

"Wormtail, I swear if you hit one more time," I hear Remus warn threateningly from across the room.

"I can barely see," Peter whines, rubbing his eyes even harder. "My eyes won't wake up."

Somehow, by the luck of God, we get ourselves together and make it down into the common room. James throws himself in an armchair, resting his head against the back; Peter tries to balance himself on the arm of that chair, but fails miserably, falling to the floor with a loud THUMP; Remus wanders his way over to the notice board, as he does every morning, looking at it with a critical eye.

"Guys," he announces. I turn my head in his direction, listening. "They announced the ball again."

"When is it?" James asks, his hand resting over his eyes.

"The 20th," Remus replies, making his way back over to where we are stationed waiting for Tonks. "That's a good day, by the way."

"Thank God," Peter says.

"Well, at least I'll be able to attend another year," he says, taking a seat on the arm Peter had previously fallen off.

"Morning, gents," Tonks calls from across the room, prancing towards us. She runs up to Remus placing a small kiss on his cheek. "What's with you all today?"

"I just want to sleep," James whines, moaning.

"Oh, you'll be able to sleep when you're dead," Tonks says, wrapping her arm around Remus's waist. "We're going to be late, come on."

"Have you ever noticed that we're always late?" James gripes, picking up his bag and slinging it over his shoulder. We make it out of the common room and are halfway down the corridor before anyone speaks again.

"Did you see they announced the date of the ball?" Remus asks Tonks, walking hand in hand.

"Did they?" she asks, face lighting up. "And it's-"

"Yes, I can go," he says, smiling slightly.

"Oh good!" she exclaims, and they go off about how wonderful it's going to be. But, I get distracted. There she is, walking down the hall alone, an angry grimace on her face. She clutches to the strap of her bag with white knuckles, walking deliberately the other direction. As she approaches, she glances up and sees me, then her eyes dart back down to the floor. We pass each other, her body feet from mine, but we say nothing. When we've passed, I stop dead in my tracks, my world frozen. My friends continue walking, not noticing that I've stopped. They round the corner, leaving us alone in the corridor.

I turn around tentatively, and see her a farther down the hall, still walking with a purpose. She suddenly glances over her shoulder, and sees me. She freezes, catching my gaze as we lock eyes.

"Scarlet," I begin, walking down the hall to meet her.

"Sirius," she says, looking back to the floor once again. "I told you not to talk to me."

"Please," I beg, my hands instinctively curling into fists. "We need to work this out."

"What is there to work out?" she questions, flipping her shiny blonde hair over her shoulder. I don't have an answer. "Exactly. Nothing."

"We can be friends again," I beg, reaching for her hand; she retracts it into her cloak.

"No," she says, shaking her head. "You made the decision."

"I didn't-"

"You said you wouldn't-"

"I did not! I never said such a thing!"

"Yes you did! On the night-"

"We argued! Okay, we argued! I never said I wanted to end it!"

"You implied it!" she says, her voice full of ice. "Look, I've got to go. This is trivial nonsense."

With that, she turns on her heel and continues walking down the corridor, her steps even more angry and deliberate. When she rounds the bend, I stumble back against the stone wall, my fingers tangled in my hair, almost pulling it out. She doesn't know that she took much more from me than meets the eye.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Tonks's POV*_

"So you're really going to ask her?" I question over my plate of eggs.

"Of course," James replies, taking a sip of pumpkin juice. "She isn't dating Dean anymore, and I haven't said a word to that prat Snape in ages. I might have a chance."

"_Might_," Remus says sarcastically, chuckling with that mischievous glint in his eye.

"Ah, there he is!" James announces as Sirius approaches, looking glum. "Where were you?"

"I dropped something in the hall," he explains, putting on his old Sirius-charm face. "I had to clean it up, yanno."

I glance over at Remus and see him analyzing his face critically, frowning. At least I'm not the only one who can smell the suspicion coming off him.

"Well, we're almost done," James says, not noticing anything. "Sorry mate."

"It's okay," Sirius says, nervously adjusting his bag. "I'm not hungry anyways."

Suddenly, the bell rings, causing the whole Great Hall to stand up and make way to the doors, trying to get to their first class. Remus stands up and offers his hand, which I take and he helps stand me up.

"Thank you very much, sir," I say curtly, giving him a kiss on the cheek.

"You are very welcome, madam," he answers, smirking.

We make our way out of the Great Hall and up the marble staircase, on our way to Defense Against the Dark Arts. As we walk, I notice James slip away into a crowd of people going the other way.

"Hey!" Sirius exclaims, watching his retreating figure. "Where are you going?!"

"To find Lily!"

"Did he just call her _Lily_?" I ask, incredulous.

"I think he did," Remus replies, looking impressed. "I have hope for him."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_*James's POV*_

I know where she always goes after breakfast; the library. For her, this is a free period since she didn't make it into N.E.W.T. Defense Against the Dark Arts. I honestly don't really care if I'm late, Professor Rogers favors me. I slip back down the corridor leading to the Gryffindor common room, but make a sharp left right before I reach it, and jog up a hidden staircase behind a tapestry.

When I reach the library, I sneak in when Madam Pince isn't looking, just as the bell rings. I then nonchalantly weave between bookcases, looking for any sign of a red head. I get some nasty looks from a group of 7th year Slytherins, so I troop back to the gate separating the restricted section and the rest of the library, and there I wait.

Several minutes later, she enters, giving a curt nod and a 'hello' to Madam Pince before taking her seat in the Healing section. I then decide to move in, my hand instinctively reaching to mess my hair up.

_No,_ I tell myself, lowering it. _She doesn't like that. _

So, I just put on the bravest face I can, and stalk off to her table, trying to deflate my big head before I get here.

"Hello," I say, standing nervously in front of the table. She looks up, confused.

"Potter?"

"I would prefer if you called me _James, _actually," I say, smiling slightly.

"As soon as you start calling me _Lily,_" she says, raising an eyebrow.

"Okay, Lily," I say. She looks up curiously, not knowing what to make of me. "May I sit down?"

"Sure," she says, pushing away some of her books to make room for me. "Shouldn't you be in class?"

"I should be," I admit, twiddling my thumbs. "But I wanted to find you instead."

"Why?" she asks, pushing her hair behind her ear.

"Well," I say, thinking about how to ask this delicately. "I heard you… broke up with Jackson?"

"Yeah," she confirms, even more confused. "And?"

"Well," I say again. "They announced the date of the ball this morning. And, I don't want to be going alone, and I've always really-"

"You're asking me to the ball again, aren't you?" she interrupts, a small smile playing on her lips.

"Yes," I blurt out, letting out a breath of air I didn't know I was holding in. "So, will you? Lily Marie Evans…."

She considers me for a moment, the smile becoming even broader. She blushes, looking down into her lap. "Sure."

"Really?!" I exclaim, excitement coursing through my veins. This warrants a nasty look from Madam Pince, so I lower my voice and continue. "You're finally giving in?"

"I suppose I am," she says, finally looking up to meet my eyes with her gorgeous green ones. "Me and Severus aren't friends anymore, so…."

"I'm sorry," I say, but am not really.

"Don't be sorry," she says, smiling again. "It's not your fault."

I spend the rest of the period in the library with her, just talking. I don't even care that I'll probably get a detention for skipping class, I'm just that elated.

XXXXXXXXXXX

Hey guys!

Ooh some James/Lily action, huh? See, I promised it would happen!

Love you all so much! Merry 3rd day of Christmas and please leave a review!

xoxo


	80. Chapter 79

"_Love is like a quicksand. The deeper you get into it, the harder for you to get out."-Unknown _

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Remus's POV*_

"You _have_ to be joking."

"I'm not! I told you I wasn't!"

"I don't believe you! After five years of pestering the poor girl, she finally said yes?!"

It's nearly midnight in the _6__th__ Year Boys_ dormitory, but no one has intentions of sleeping. James has just gotten around to telling us all where he went when he skipped Defense Against the Dark Arts this morning, after Sirius pestering him all day about it.

"This is a monumental day in the life of James Alexander Potter," James muses, the silly, love-struck grin still plastered across his face. I can't help but wonder if that's what I looked like just after Tonks and I started our relationship a few years ago; I chuckle, and honestly hope I didn't.

"It sure is," Sirius agrees, scoffing again in complete shock. For some reason, Sirius can't seem to grasp that what James is saying is true. He keeps asking him, over and over, with James giving the same answer each time: _Yes. _

"We're going to grow up, and get married, and have babies," he fantasizes, flopping back on his bed and closing his eyes in content, imagining all the wonderful things in store for him and Lily. I can't help but roll my eyes and bury my face into my pillow.

"Oh, I'm sure," Sirius says sarcastically, chuckling. "And when you get married, I'll be your best man."

"You sure will be."

"And I'll be the godfather of your firstborn," he continues, the wicked Sirius-esque smile still plastered across his face. "But I will refuse if you marry anyone but Lily."

"Well, be ready to have all that damn responsibility, because it's going to happen," James retorts, sitting back up to give him an odd look; Sirius snorts into his lap.

"I don't know why you would bestow such responsibility on _my_ shoulders," he responds. "You know me. I'm a mess."

"Yes," I say, chuckling very hard into the pillow. "But you're a beautiful one."

"Aw, thanks, Remmy," he says mockingly, getting up and placing mother-like kisses all over the back of my head, the only place he can reach due to my position. "Ooh, Moony."

"What?"

"You're hair smells lovely," he muses, taking another whiff of my shampoo.

"Thank you?" I mutter, sitting up and quirking an eyebrow at James and Peter.

"Ahh," he says, sighing and pulling away. "What do you use?"

"I dunno…" I say tentatively, chuckling. "Why are you asking me such odd questions?"

"I dunno!" he replies, stalking back over to his four-poster. "Let me know when you find out."

I widen my eyes, chuckling unsurely, almost scared by Sirius's odd actions. James catches my eye and makes the same sarcastically worried look as Sirius flops back on his four-poster, muttering something about unicorns.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Tonks's POV*_

The morning of the ball is a crazy one.

"May, where did you put my curling iron?!"

"I didn't touch your curling iron!"

"Yes, you did! You borrowed it the other day!"

"Stop being such a bitch!" Lily calls, causing me to open my eyes. "It's right over here."

I sit up, rubbing my eyes as Scarlet stalks across the dorm, taking the curling iron from Lily's outstretched hand.

"Never touch my stuff again," she says, looking at Lily with a face full of contempt. "You dirty little thief."

"I did _not_ steal it!" Lily argues, rolling her eyes in exasperation. "It was right over here, on the dresser."

"Whatever, Evans," Scarlet snarls. "Have fun with your little ball of arrogance tonight."

"James has changed," Lily says. I can almost see the anger rising in her. "At least I _have_ a date. You're going alone, are you not?"

"Of course not," Scarlet scoffs. "I'm going with Sirius."

"What?!" I exclaim, jumping out of bed in shock. "I thought you two broke up!"

Scarlet doesn't answer for a minute, but turns away from us, and stands stock still.

"He asked me to go," she says quietly and evenly. "I said yes."

"So you're back together?" I ask incredulously.

"You could say that," she says icily, stalking back over to her bed. She grabs a wad of clothes, and stalks off to the powder room, closing the door with a snap.

"Why didn't she just change in here?" Lily scoffs.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Later that evening*_

My dress is quite spectacular this year; a red silky-satin material that hugs my body to just above my knees, accentuating my curves, and natural body. Then, at the knees, it flairs out, ruched and sparkly. I also can't help but notice that my chest looks fantastic in this dress. I match it with black stilettos (which is going to be quite dangerous for me) and dark brown curly hair.

"Not to be blunt or anything," Lily scoffs as I stand up from doing my makeup. "But Tonks, you look _hot."_ I blush, hiding an embarrassed smile.

"Thanks, Lils," I mutter, looking tentatively up at her. "You look beautiful, too."

"Thanks," she says, smiling. "Can you imagine what Remus is going to do when he sees you?!"

"I can only imagine," I say, blushing even harder.

"Oh," she says, giving me a warm hug. "I'm so excited for you two."

"I hope you and James have a good time as well," I say as she pulls away, going to strap on her heels. "I know he's extremely excited about it."

"Is he?" she asks sarcastically. "I couldn't tell."

I chuckle, waiting for her and Lydia to be ready. I survey myself in the mirror, not really believing what I am seeing; I am almost seventeen years old, and of age. Here I stand, in this gorgeous dress, my hair and makeup impeccable. I can't help but think that I _do_ look really good all dressed up, but I don't want to be arrogant. This just feels so monumental for some reason. We only have one year left of school, and I _can't_ believe it. It went by so quick, it seems that I was just meeting the boys yesterday.

"_I'm James by the way," the boy with the glasses said, holding out his hand. _

"_N-nice to meet you," I said, shaking his hand. _

_"Sirius Black," the curly haired kid said, holding out his hand as well. When I shook it, he shook back vigorously. "Might I say that was brilliant."_

"_Thanks," I said smiling a little bit._

"_Remus Lupin," the shabby-looking kid said, softly. He looked shy and nervous. He was also blushing._

I smile fondly at the memory, my throat closing up and tears welling in my eyes. My, how time has flown. We've grown so much in these past six years, not only personally, but as a group of friends as well.

"Are you ready, Tonks?" Lily asks, bringing me back to reality.

"Oh," I say, shaking my head slightly, wiping away a stray tear. "Yeah."

We parade from the dorm, leaving Scarlet and May still scrambling to get ready. As we descend the stairs, my stomach squirms in anticipation; I can't wait to see Remus and his reaction to my dress. Lydia goes down first, followed by Lily. I can't help but chuckle as James gets his eyes on her; they widen, and his face breaks into a huge smile as she walks over to him, blushing and trying to hide a smile.

I follow Lily down the stairs, and freeze when I see him; he's standing there so sheepishly in his suit, his perfectly messy brown hair slightly fallen in his face. He wears the biggest smile I've ever seen as he looks up and sees he, his eyes widening and becoming alive. His face turns bright red as I walk toward him, finally able to move my legs.

"Hello beautiful," he mutters, reaching out and grabbing my waist, pulling me into him sooner than I should've. He looks down at me with love, lust, and a million other emotions. I temporarily forget how to breathe. We lock eyes, both our breathings becoming labored. "You look stunning, darling. No, beyond stunning. You look gorgeous, beautiful, amazing-"

"Shhhh," I say, chuckling and laying a finger on his lips. "I get it. Thank you."

"Oh you're very welcome," he mutters, leaning in to whisper in my ear: "And, my dear, I can't grasp how unbelievably sexy you look."

"You look handsome, Rem," I say, blushing even harder. "Thank you."

"Mm," he leans in to kiss me.

"Oi!" Sirius calls, breaking off our kiss. For some reason, this always seems to happen. I roll my eyes as we turn slowly to face our friends. While we were, uh… occupied, Scarlet and May made their ways downstairs. Scarlet now stands next to Sirius, eyes full of contempt as she looks at us. "We have a ball to attend."

"Right," Remus mutters, embarrassedly, lacing our fingers together. "Lead the way."

Sirius chuckles as he offers Scarlet his elbow, she begrudgingly linking hers with his. She is sporting a huge, poof-y, silver ball gown, which surprises me as it does nothing for her figure. I can't help but chuckle as I realize it actually makes her look like she's gained a few pounds.

"What?" Remus asks as we make our way down a corridor. Sirius and Scarlet lead, we bring up the rear.

"Scarlet's dress," I whisper back, still suppressing my chuckle. "She looks pretty bad."

"I thought I was the only one who noticed!" he whispers excitedly back, chuckling as well.

"No," I respond once I get enough air. "I saw it too."

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Remus's POV*_

The last song of the night has to be my favorite. After a night of dancing, sweating, and partying, it's nice to have this little alone, quiet time with her. She has her arms wrapped around my neck, and my arms laced around her waist, as they always are when we dance. Her breathing is slow and even, our heartbeats synchronized so they beat as one. I have my face buried in her hair, my head resting in the crook of her neck, hers in mine. Her hand suddenly moves from my neck and down my chest, grabbing my tie tightly.

For some reason, this small movement causes something inside of me to stir, and thoughts I've had for many months all come spewing out in the form of words.

"Dora?"

"Yes?" she answers, pulling her head off my shoulder so she can look up at me, her eyes twinkling in the dim light.

"I have a very important question to ask you," I say, not even feeling the slightest bit nervous, even though I should be.

"Yes?' she says again, chuckling.

"Would you…. would you marry me?" I ask, blushing. She looks up at me with a look I can't quite decipher. "I mean, after we graduate of course. We could run off, and get married. Have a life together, maybe a family."

She smiles slightly, blushing even harder than me. She tries to hide it, but I know she is beyond elated and ecstatic.

"Are you proposing?" she asks, the silly smile still creeping onto her face.

"Of course I'll have to do a formal proposal when the time comes," I say, running my hand up and down her back. She shivers under my touch, and lets out a massive breath. "But for now, I suppose it'll just be a promise. A promise between the two of us that we _will_ get married in the future."

She considers me for a moment, finally looking up to meet my eyes for the first time since I popped the question. "Yes."

I don't know how to respond, but my heart swells with joy as she finally lets her smile break across her face. I respond with the same smile, my eyes locked with hers. She reaches up for my tie again and pulls me in for a kiss. Her lips press against mine, so soft and full, her fingers twisting endlessly in my hair.

"And just think," I mutter, breaking our kiss for a moment, our lips still centimeters from each other. "In a matter of years, you'll be Mrs. Lupin."

With that, she closes the gap between us and locks our lips together again so tight, I fear we will never be separated again.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Heeeeeey Gais! Hehe, just kidding! :D

How're all of your weekends going?! I hope well! I'm about to go off and get some frogurt! :D YUM.

So what did you guys think of the chapter! This one was extra-fluffy! ;) It'd be amazing if you could leave a review!

Also, do I have any Sherlock Holmes fans out there. All of your hands should be raised, but MY GOSH is it a fantastic film?! I have to admit that I've spent more time thinking about Sherlock than HP! I feel guilty! I feel like I'm cheating on my husband or something, but I can't help it! I mean, Robert Downey Jr. and Jude Law together?! That's my idea of PERFECT. So, if you _are_ a fan, pleaseeeee go check out my first-ever one-shot, _Nothing Shocks Sherlock Holmes_. I would love you forever (well I already do, but yanno) if you would check that out and leave a review! Please do! :D

Anyways, that's all for now guys! See you all soon! *hugs*

~AnM

xoxo


	81. Chapter 80

"_You don't love someone because they're perfect, you love them in spite of the fact that they're not."-Jodi Picoult, My Sister's Keeper_

XXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Tonks's POV*_

Thoughts of the 'engagement' bounce around my head for hours after the ball, making sleep nearly impossible. I toss and turn, all the possibilities and opportunities for the future buzzing around my brain. Even the thought of it can make my stomach squirm, my face blush, and my heartbeat flutter. It's something I've wanted for a long time, yet I haven't been able to express it until now. To think, in a matter of months, I'll be _his_ wife, the man I love more than anything, and we'll be together forever. We can grow old together, and have a family. Now, that's a scary thought. _A family._

An unspoken agreement passed between the two of us that we wouldn't tell anyone about our promise. I honestly don't know how people would take it; him just turning of age, I being only sixteen. And, I suppose it _is_ sort of private. No one needs to know, because, well, it's _our_ business. I don't have any problem with that, and I keep my mouth shut.

On the last day of our sixth year, we all gather around our favorite tree by the Black Lake, as we always do. It seems to have become an tradition to spend our last day together in the most beautiful place on the whole grounds. The only thing different is, this year, we have a new member of our little 'family.' Lily Evans accompanies James down to the lake, and spends the day with us. I was quite excited when I heard this news, and was ecstatic to be able to spend a peaceful day with her _and_ James. From what I heard, their date at the ball went extremely well, and James seems to be getting hopeful.

As we sit under the tree, Remus and I lounge hand in hand, my head on his shoulder. It's a gorgeous, sunny day on the grounds, a light breeze ruffling our hair every once in a while. The boys have stripped their school sweaters and now sport their white button-ups. The grass is soft cool under my hands, which I subconsciously grab, and pull tufts out of the ground. Remus looks down at me with a seductive smirk, then grabs my left hand and begins to nonchalantly play with it, running his fingers through mine, inspecting each one. He smiles vaguely, his mind somewhere else.

"What are you doing?" I whisper, chuckling.

"I'm dreaming about how perfect a ring is going to look on your finger," he whispers back, smiling embarrassedly. I can't respond, but smile sheepishly into my lap. Remus leans over and places a quick kiss on my cheek, and I giggle slightly.

At that moment, my attention is drawn from mine and Remus's little moment, and onto another member of our party. Remus looks at me curiously as my eyes land on Sirius; something is wrong. I notice he seems distracted, and upset. He keeps glancing up across the lake, to a spot on the opposite bank. I follow his eye line, and see exactly what I predicted. _Scarlet; _sitting under another tree, looking disconsolate and distracted. I shake my head and focus back on our group, not really caring about her troubles.

James and Lily sit a little away from the rest of us, father down by the water, their feet cooling in the shallows. Her pretty ginger hair flows down her back, and her eyes are light and alive, a way I never saw them when she was with Dean. James looks too happy for words, the most stupid and love-struck grin slapped across his cheeky face. Surprisingly, he doesn't even try to touch her. He sits, arms in his lap, making polite conversation, and occasionally cracking a joke or two.

"Seems to be going well, eh?" Sirius muses. I'm surprised when he speaks, because the last time I checked, he was gazing off at his 'little friend.'

"Immensely better than a year ago," Remus agrees, still subconsciously playing with my fingers.

"She wouldn't have even come down here a year ago!" I interject, chuckling. "She would've turned her nose at any mention of him."

"True," Sirius agrees, taking a sip of the butterbeer he brought down with him. "I think she may actually fancy him."

"Bullshit," Remus says, cocking an eyebrow. "Maybe now, yeah, but not a year ago. You saw the way she looked at him; total loathing and disgust. And Dora told us all about the ranting in the dorm."

"Yes, but that's a girl's way of showing that they like someone!" Sirius explains, rolling his eyes at Remus's ignorance. "It's weird, I know."

"Tonks never did that," Remus argues, looking at me curiously.

"Because she has some sense," Sirius says, chuckling. "She isn't mad like the rest of them."

"It's comforting to know that I'm not mad," I add, looking mischievously at Remus.

"Anyway," Sirius says, making a face at our fluffiness. "I think Jamesie might be getting lucky."

"I'm still not buying it," Remus says, shaking his head. "Not after that many years of pure hatred."

"Miracles happen everyday," Sirius says, his voice suddenly dreamy and unfocused. I look up at him again to see he's gone back to staring at Scarlet, the fire in his eyes slowly flickering and dying as the depression hits him once again. He doesn't think we notice, but oh, we do. The only question is, what was he referencing about miracles?

XXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Remus's POV*_

The train ride home is somewhat uneventful and banal. Lily joins us again, flustered and excited to be able to spend more time with us peacefully. I'll still bet all the galleons in the world that it's not going to last long. It just seems illogical; you can't just suddenly like someone you've despised for five years!

When the Hogwarts Express pulls into King's Cross, my stomach starts twisting in knots. I know my family is out there, probably waiting to bring me home like some stray dog to shut up in its cage. I slowly and solemnly shut up my bag and grab the rest of my things. When I decide I can't procrastinate any longer, I sigh and follow the rest of the group out of the compartment and onto the platform, my fingers firmly locked with Dora's.

"You're probably not very excited for this summer, are you?" she asks as we push past a group of babbling second years.

"No," I admit, sighing. "Not at all, actually."

"Just think," she says, plastering an optimistic smile across her face. "It's the last one you'll ever have to spend at home!"

"I suppose so," I say, smiling slightly at the thought; it wasn't something I had ever realized before.

"And, well," she continues, biting her lip nervously. "I was thinking about arranging a get-together this summer for us and the boys."

"Like a party?"

"More like a vacation," she explains. "Or it could just be us two if you want," she adds seductively.

"Oi!" James calls, bringing us out of our little fantasy world. "Wormtail is leaving!"

I sigh, adjusting my grip on her hand and leading her over to bid farewell to Peter. Not soon after, James finds his mother, taking Sirius with him since Sirius permanently lives with the Potters now. It's such a shame, to me at least, that he's not able to bear his family for even a few more years.

With that, it's just me and Tonks left, wandering around the crowded platform, looking for any sign of either of our families.

"I think I see Aaron over there!" she suddenly exclaims, letting go of my hand and jumping so she can see properly over a few people's heads. "Yes! Right over there!"

She stops her jumping and grabs my hand again, dragging me off through the crowd of people, bowling a few over in the process. "Mum! Dad!"

She finally meets them after pushing past a group of portly witches, running up and flinging her arms around both her parents. I stand back, smiling slightly, watching her interact with her family. It's good to see her so happy and carefree, and makes my spirits raise the slightest bit, too.

"Mum, Dad," she says, jolting me back to the current situation. "_This_ is Remus."

She stands back and extends a hand, presenting me to her family. I wasn't ready to be on display, surveyed by her family, so I just stand there and blush, saying an embarrassed 'Hello.'

"Nice to finally meet you, Remus," Ted Tonks says, stepping forward and giving me a warm handshake.

"Nice to meet you, too," I respond, some logical thoughts returning.

"Andromeda," her mother says, grabbing my hand for shake as well, a polite smile wiped across her face. "I've heard so much about you."

"Have you?" I ask, looking at Dora to see her blushing.

"Oh yes, all good," Andromeda assures me, finally letting go of my hand.

"I assume you're treating my daughter well," Ted adds.

"Dad-" Tonks starts, looking embarrassed.

"I need to make sure he's treating you well, dear," he says, winking slyly at her. She sighs, and digs her hand deeper into her jean pockets.

"Well," I say, glancing down at my watch. "I have to go find my family as well. Lovely meeting you all."

With that, I lean over, grab Dora's left hand and place a quick kiss on her cheek. As I do so, I distinctly grab her ring finger, hoping to remind her about the engagement. She smiles embarrassedly at the floor, looking up to meet my eyes one more time before muttering her goodbyes.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Three weeks later*_

James, being as wealthy as he is, decided to coordinate the get-together Tonks mentioned on the last day of school. Since he has the biggest house, and it would be a nice place to spend the summer, he invited Tonks, Peter, and I to come and holiday two weeks there, just as a way to see each other before school starts again.

Although I'm reluctant to leave Libby alone in this dreaded house for more than day, she urged me to go and spend some time for myself. She's thirteen years old now, and can manage herself, or so she says. It pains me to look at her now, all grown up, finding her own identity. Wasn't she the little girl cantering around my room playing with my wand just yesterday?

On the morning of the visit, I get the newspaper, as per usual, and a letter. Since it was still early in the morning, this perplexed me. I take the note from the owl's beak, pay it for the paper, and tear it open.

_Dear brother, _

_How are you? I miss you terribly. Alisa and I are fine. She's five months pregnant now, with a little boy. I'm so excited to be a father, Remus. But, you never fully understand the feeling unless you experience it. You'll understand when you finally do. _

_I'm writing to let you know that I intend on visiting the family sometime next month. It's been over a year now, and I think I owe it to Mum and Dad (not to mention you and Olivia) to come back around for a visit, and to see what amends we can make. _

_That's all for now, brother. Stay strong, and guard Libby with all you've got. _

_Love, your brother, _

_Oliver_

I sigh, running my fingers through my hair as I finish reading. This visit isn't going to be a pleasant one, I already know it. If he thinks coming back is going to bring anything positive, he's a fool. I throw the letter on the top of all my junk in my open suitcase, then slide out of bed to get dressed.

Once I've finalized my packing, I prep myself to head downstairs. Kevin is in today, and he's brought his new girlfriend, a blonde bimbo named Georgina. I look at myself one last time in the mirror, taking in the dark gray cardigan and dark wash blue jeans, before grabbing my wand and dragging my trunk down the stairs, heading for the fireplace.

"Remus?" my mother calls from the kitchen. _So close. _

"Yes?" I answer, feet away from my destination.

"Are you leaving?"

"Yes, Mum," I answer, sighing in annoyance.

"Come say goodbye, then!"

I groan, punching the top of my suitcase in anger. I drag my feet from the living room and into the kitchen. Although there is a perfectly fine fireplace in the kitchen, I had chosen to use the one in the living room because I knew I wouldn't have to interact with anyone there. Well, looks like that plan was foiled.

"Goodbye, all," I say, peeking my head around the threshold.

"Where are you going?" Kevin asks from his spot at the table, leaned back in his chair, shooting dirty looks my way.

"To spend some time at my friend James's house," I explain, grinding my teeth to keep calm.

"Have a good time, Remus!" Libby squeals, running over to give me a tight hug around the neck.

"Thank you Libs," I say, smiling as she retreats back to her spot across from Georgina. I then catch Kevin's eye, and notice the pure hatred in it. He looks at me as if I'm the scum of the earth, disgusted by my presence. The thing is, he doesn't try to hide it. He just lets it come out, even if it means being a rude and inconsiderate prat. With that, I give him the dirtiest look I've got, and turn on my heel back to the living room. I hear my mother's shouts for me to come back and give her a proper goodbye, but I ignore them, too filled with hatred to care. I angrily grab a handful of floo powder, and throw it into the fire.

"James Potter's house!" I shout, my hands in fists, trying to control my anger so it won't throw me off course.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

_*James's POV*_

The first night of the two week-long party is great. I'd managed to get my hands on some of my parent's finest Firewhiskey, and we all retreat to my backyard around a bonfire. We have the whiskey, we have music, we have each other. As all of us are getting a little tipsy, we get up and start to dance to a new song by some Muggle rock band named after bugs or something. And, I have to admit, Muggles have a good taste in music because this is fantastic. I can feel the rhythm in my body, compelling me to dance. Or maybe it was just the alcohol. But, I _did_ feel something that night. Something indescribable. It didn't matter about the war, or any troubles Sirius had with Scarlet, or that Remus's family was crumbling to pieces before his very eyes. All that mattered was that the five of us were together, and dancing to the same beat.

The morning after, however, is a little different. From what I can remember, we returned indoors at around four in the morning, exhausted and drunk, to collapse on the furniture in the living room. Remus and Tonks took refuge on the couch, I in the recliner, Peter on the floor, and Sirius on the coffee table. I'm the first one to wake the next morning, feeling the hangover hit me like a speeding train. I place my hand on my head, feeling the pounding and soreness all over. I sit up groggily, squinting in the light of the morning.

"Pads," I call, throwing a nearby pillow at him. "Wake up."

"Wha-?" he mumbles, sitting up with a piece of paper stuck to his face. The bags under his eyes are unbelievable as he sits up, realizing where he slept. "Why am I up here?"

"Dunno, mate," I admit, rising shakily to my feet to grab the _Morning Prophet. _It lays on the counter, where Lowen must've left it earlier this morning. Not really paying attention to the headline, I stagger back over, noticing the rest of them are awake, too.

"Morning, love birds," I mutter cheekily as I throw the paper at Sirius. "Read it, mate. Enlighten me on the news of the world."

"Why me?"

"Because I'm too sore to," I admit, covering my eyes and sitting back down again. I hear Tonks yawn as Sirius opens the paper. "Some party last night, eh?"

"Some party," Tonks agrees. I sneak a peak from behind my hand to see her walking slowly, almost like an elderly person, to the kitchen. "I'm too old to be partying like this."

"_So_ old," Peter adds sarcastically, having not moved from his spot on the floor. She suddenly returns, bearing a glass of water, giving him a dirty look. At that moment, I look past her retreating figure and notice Sirius. I immediately know something is wrong by his face. His jaw is dropped, eyes popping as he looks down speechlessly at the newspaper.

"Pads?" I question, looking over curiously at him. This draws everyone's attention. "What's going on?"

With that, he lets the newspaper fall onto the coffee table, allowing us all to get a look at the headline.

**WIZARD FAMILY FOUND MURDERED IN LONDON**

"So?" Remus questions, still looking curiously at Sirius. "This happens every day."

"Read on," he chokes out, his face still horrified.

_After being notified that the Dark Mark had been spotted above an apartment, a team of Aurors was sent out at around 9:00 this morning; they arrived on the scene of a brutal murder. Thought to be the work of 'Death Eaters,' they found a family of four dead in the house. Alan White, along with his wife and two children were found dead on the scene. Alan is a known supporter of the resistance, and this is most likely the cause of his death. Among the dead were his wife Margaret White, son Rupert White, and daughter Scarlet White. _

We all sit in total silence, not knowing what to make of this. I'm the first to even move, turning my head to get a better look at Sirius. This is the first time in my entire life that I've seen Sirius Black cry. Big, fat tears well up in his eyes as he stares down at the article hopelessly.

"Sirius," I start. He doesn't respond. "Sirius, mate-"

"I don't know what to do," he stammers out, gasping in a massive breath.

"It's going to be okay-" Remus adds, standing up and placing a hand on Tonks's shoulder.

"No," Sirius responds. "No, it's _not_ going to be okay."

"We know this is hard," Tonks chokes out, tears welling in her eyes as well. "But you can get through-"

"You don't understand," he cuts her off, standing and turning away from the rest of us. The air is heavy, cold, void of all the jolliness from only a few moments ago.

"What don't we understand?" I ask, standing to join him. I tentatively lay a hand on his shoulder, and he throws it off, sniffling.

"You don't understand," he mutters, pacing away, running his hands through his curly hair; he looks mad. "You don't-"

"Well, then, help us understand!" I blurt out, frustrated. He stops in his tracks, all the anger and hurt rising inside him like a wave. Suddenly, he bursts out screaming:

"SHE WAS PREGNANT! IT WAS MINE! MY CHILD IS DEAD!"

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Thought I'd leave y'all with a cliffhanger! And my gosh, this chapter is loooong!

I don't have much to say, since this chapter makes me sad. D: Please leave a review, that would be LOVELYYYYY. :D

Also, if you haven't already, pleaseee go check out my Sherlock Holmes one-shot! ;)

Love you all to death! I'm off to watch the People's Choice Awards! My husband will be there! *faints*

~AnM

xoxo

Ps. *several hours later* It just ended. HOLY CRAP ROBERT WON! :D I believe I actually, legitimately had a heart attack. And died. I love him so much. ^.^

And congrats Emma Watson! Reppin' the Potterheads! :D


	82. Chapter 81

"_Just because my eyes show no tears...Doesn't mean my heart isn't broken…"-Unknown_

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Sirius's POV*_

"Read it, mate. Enlighten me on the news of the world," James mutters, tossing the newspaper at me.

"Why me?"

"Because I'm too sore to."

I sigh, casting James a dark look before unrolling the _Morning Prophet_ and scanning the front page. My head is too fuzzy and dull from the hangover to really absorb anything. The room is too bright, and too loud, adding to the massive headache I already have. My mind wanders a bit before I start reading, about Scarlet and the baby, mostly. She told me not to write her this summer, as she wasn't sure if it would be safe; she also told me she didn't want to talk to me. I don't see how that quite works, I being the father of her baby. She's an odd one, she is. I sigh, casting all the negative thoughts out of my head before turning back to the newspaper.

There was a break-in at some second-hand robe shop in Diagon Alley, remains of a dragon found somewhere out by Hogwarts, and a murder. None of this surprises me, as murders and break-ins are the usual subjects of articles nowadays. I scan through the first two articles, not really giving a shit either way. I then reach the last article on the first page, the one about the murder in London. As soon as I read the first sentence, my heart stops.

_Alan White._ No, don't be ridiculous Sirius. There's plenty of people in the world with the last name White. Yet, I can't shake the feeling of uncertainty as I read on. My heartbeat quickens with every sentence, praying for my senses to be wrong. Finally, I read the last sentence, and my heart drops into my stomach.

…_and daughter Scarlet White. _

I notice that my breathing and heart have stopped, frozen from shock and disbelief. _No._ This can't be true. I don't believe it, she's not dead. _They're_ not dead. I reread the article, still having not moved from my stock still position, everything in my body come to a complete stop. The world even stops turning, and it's just me alone in this little bubble of humanity, knowing that in a span of five minutes, I have lost everything.

"Pads?" James suddenly calls. I don't respond, but I'm aware that he's speaking. "What's going on?"

I can't possibly explain this to them, for they don't know anything about Scarlet's relationship with me; it was more than lovers, it was parents. So, as a response, I let the newspaper fall out of my frozen hands, and float down to land on the coffee table.

"So?" Remus questions, incredulous as always. "This happens everyday."

"Read on," I manage, my voice strange and mangled. I watch the four of them read, the situation still unraveling in my head. As James finishes, he looks up at me, his face full of complete and utter shock. For some reason, _this_ makes it real to me. My brain now consciously knows that they're dead. They're dead. They're dead, and they're not coming back. I feel the tears coming on, and desperately try to stop them, for I don't want them to see me cry. Alas, I can't, and they well up, spilling over and down my cheeks, making me look pathetic. Because, maybe, that's what I am. _Pathetic_.

My sweet, unborn child, dead. My little baby, who hadn't even gotten to experience the beauties of life yet, dead. It didn't get to experience its mother's laugh, or its father's smile; its grandmother's doting tone or they way my friends would eventually consider it their niece or nephew. I never got to lay eyes on it, the most incredible creation in the world. It was made by mistake, but then again, who isn't? The only thing that matters, is that it _did_ serve a purpose in my life, even if it was only for a little while. It was meant to be alive, and change one person's entire view on life forever.

"Sirius," James starts, his voice stuck in his throat. "Sirius, mate-"

"I don't know what to do," I stammer, gasping for air. My brain suddenly feels even more fuzzy, clouded by grief.

"It's going to be okay-" Remus starts evenly, but what does _he_ know? He's never experienced this. He has his perfect little girlfriend, while I sit here with nothing.

"No," I cut him off. "No, it's _not_ going to be okay."

"We know this is hard," Tonks pipes up. I'm surprised to see tears in her eyes, tears for the girl she hated most in the world. But, this softens my heart, and replaces some of the anger welling up inside me. My little chickadee, crying for _me._ If only she knew the rest of the story. "But you can get through-"

"You don't understand," I interject again. I stand, for I don't know what else to do. How is the best way to explain this to them, when they know very little? My breathing and heart rate start picking up again, pain welling inside me like a balloon.

"What don't we understand?" James questions, suddenly behind me. He reaches out to lay a hand on my shoulder, and I throw it off. I don't want anyone or anything touching me now. I feel like a bomb about to explode, any little thing could set me off.

"You don't understand," I repeat, starting to pace, my heart rate still climbing. My breathing becomes labored, and I can't help but run my fingers through my hair, trying my best to calm down. "You don't-"

"Well, then, help us understand!" James exclaims, cutting me off. I freeze, my body gone still again as I decide the best way to answer. In this moment, all the pain, anger, hurt, and grief hits me like a train, and I can't control myself.

"SHE WAS PREGNANT! IT WAS MINE! MY CHILD IS DEAD!"

Now, it's not just my body that's frozen, but the whole room, and everyone in it. They all sit in shock, taking in what they just heard. I sigh, closing my eyes momentarily to pull myself together enough to tell the story.

"We… we… had a sexual relationship. But nothing more, mind you. We agreed that it would be strictly sexual, no emotions involved… Well, as you might imagine, we weren't very careful around Valentine's Day. That's when we think she… conceived. And, yanno, the funny thing is, she didn't tell me until your party, Remus. She kept it from me, making sure it was mine, because well, she was a slag. But, when she was sure, she didn't even intend on telling me. She is-_was…_ one of the most ridiculous human beings I've ever met."

_I get up from conversing with Remus and Tonks, the two killjoys on the couch. The mass amount of alcohol is compromising my usually logical thoughts, and to my drunk brain, going to see Scarlet is a good idea. I haven't seen her in a while, and I'd noticed her moping around a lot. So, adding my usual swagger, I set off up the stairs, and make a left to the girl's dormitories. Unfortunately, I forget about the curse on the stairs, and fall about six times. After the sixth attempt, I gain some sense and call up. _

"_Oi! Scarlet! May!" _

_A figure appears at the top of the stairs, looking uncertainly down at me. "What do you want, Black?" _

"_To speak to Scarlet," I answer, glaring up at May. She huffs, stalking back in the other direction, obviously to retrieve Scarlet. I stand, one hand supporting me on the banister, the other at my side, my foot tapping nervously. It wasn't like Scarlet to miss out on any event like this. _

"_What do you want?" a sudden voice says from the top of the stairs. There she stands, face red from crying, clad in the shittiest clothes I've ever seen, a tissue in one hand. Her nose is stuffy, making her voice pathetic and strained. I look up at her, she glares down at me, and I know something is seriously wrong. _

"_What's going on?" I ask, still having to support my drunken body from collapsing. She doesn't answer, but makes a face in the direction of the ruckus from the party. "A secret?" _

"_You could say that," she answers, tentatively making her way down the stairs. "You're drunk." _

"_Not really," I answer, trying to give her a winning smile; she grimaces. _

"_We need to speak in private," she says, avoiding my eyes, her hands twitching nervously. _

"_Okay then," I say, sighing. "Let's uh, go to my dorm." _

_With that, I turn around and lead her up the stairs and into _6th year boys_, where she stands nervously by the threshold. She takes a moment to wipe her streaming eyes before looking up at me, almost indifferent. _

"_I'm pregnant." _

_Now it's my turn not to respond. She's lying, pulling a prank on me. _

"_Wh-what?" I choke out, knitting my eyebrows together. _

"_You heard me," she says, tears coming freely now. She lays a hand on her abdomen, and shakily takes a seat on my bed. I hesitate, wondering if it would be appropriate to sit next to her. _

"_And, well, it's yours. But you probably already guessed that," she continues, taking in deep, heaving breaths to try to calm herself down. When I don't answer, she looks up at me critically, almost angrily. "Aren't you going to say something?" _

"_Ye-yes," I stammer, deciding I needed to sit down. We sit in silence for a moment, the burden of the news weighing me down as if I was holding up the sky. "Are you sure I'm…. I'm…" _

"_The dad?" she finishes, grimacing. "Yeah. You're the only one that fit in the right time frame… Valentine's Day." _

Stupid decision, Sirius,_ I think, mentally beating myself up for not being more careful. _

"_May and I researched maternity spells in the restricted section of the library. We found one that could tell me when I conceived." _

"_The fourteenth?" I question. _

"_Right," she answers, looking away. Another awkward silence. "What are we going to do, Sirius?" _

"_I want no part in it," I mumble, my drunk brain taking over. _

"_You don't want to be a part of your child's life?" she spats incredulously in my direction. _

"_Scarlet, this shouldn't be happening." _

"_Well, you know what? It is! And we can't do a thing about it!" she exclaims, standing up and glaring down at me crouched hopelessly on the bed. "And if you don't want to help me out, or even get to know this baby, then we're done talking. Never speak to me again." _

_With that, she turns on her heel and flies out of the dormitory. I follow her, immediately regretting my decision. How could I be so stupid? I didn't mean a word I said, so why did I say it? It must be the alcohol, impairing my judgment. _

"_Scarlet!" I call, reaching the bottom on the stairs, where the party is still in full swing. I notice her just slipping through the portrait hole, and bolt after her, bowling a few people over in the process. "Come back here! We need to talk!" _

_This draws everyone's attention, and my cheeks blush red. I end up stumbling over my own legs a few times, but for the most part, my brain is pretty clear. The shock of the news must've cleared away some of the drunken fog swirling in my brain. _

_When I finally manage to climb out through the portrait hole, I find her halfway down the corridor, stalking in the direction of the girl's bathrooms. "Scarlet!" I call, speeding up again to catch up to her. "Scarlet!" _

"_Sirius Black, I told you never to speak to me again," she says evenly, obviously trying not to scream. _

"_Scarlet," I start, reaching out and laying a hand on her shoulder. "I didn't mean-" _

"_You didn't mean it?" she questions, looking at me sarcastically with wide eyes. "Oh ho, I'm _sure_ you didn't." _

"_I didn't!" I argue, slowly but surely laying my palm on her abdomen, where our little baby lay, not even big enough to be felt. "It's my child, too, you know." _

"_I'm not daft," she retorts, grabbing my wrist and throwing it away. "We're done." _

_She stalks back down the hallway, and makes a left a few feet away, retreating into the girl's bathroom. I sigh, slouching my shoulders and hanging my head. _This must be a dream.

_I sit myself against the cold, stone wall, bawling freely, my face buried in my hands. I rarely cry, because crying means you're weak, but I can't stop myself now. I'm gasping for air, crying out in the most emotional pain I've ever felt in my entire life. It hurts so much it might as well be physical. _

When I've finished my story, they sit in silence, shocked at what they've just heard. Tonks cries even harder, her face red and puffy, clinging to Remus's arm; Peter sits in his spot on the floor, jaw dropped; James stands frozen where I left him, unreadable, indifferent; and Remus just looks curiously at me, his eyes squinted as if they were analyzing me. I take a seat on the couch and bury my face in my hands, my elbows on my knees. I've almost calmed down, now my heart aches, my stomach twists, and I feel as if I'm about to vomit.

"She was due in November," I choke up. "She was five months. It was a girl."

"A little girl?" Remus pipes up. All heads snap in his direction, shocked that he said anything. I sigh, secretly thankful that he did.

"Yes, Remus," I say, nodding my head. "_My little girl_."

I sigh, looking back down at my broken heart laying on the floor. I feel strangely empty, as if you could touch me and I would shatter, like an expensive vase or a corpse. _I'm more like a corpse, _I think. _Worthless. _

With that, I get up without a word and climb the stairs leading to the rooms on the second floor. Each step is forced, and heavy, and makes me tired. This isn't my life. This is someone else's nightmare.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

_*James's POV*_

Things Sirius Black does when he's upset:

1. Plays a prank on Snivellus

2. Drowns himself in alcohol

3. Smokes

4. Shags a girl

5. Takes a shower

Since three out of the five are impossible at this moment, and he isn't allowed to smoke in the house, he takes a shower. As the five of us sit in awe in the living room, we hear the water turn on from upstairs, and many thumps as he knocks down all the expensive goo my mother keeps in there.

"Who would've known?" Remus says, the only one brave enough to speak. He takes his seat next to Tonks again, sighing.

"We must be reeeeally thick," I say, falling back into my armchair.

"Now that I think about it," Tonks says, wiping her eyes on her sleeve. "It was obvious."

"The crying, the weight gain, the depression, the overall lack of emotion and hygiene," Peter rattles off, looking thoughtful. "Yeah, I'd say it was obvious."

"You wouldn't have noticed it if it was staring back at you in the face, Wormtail," I mutter, rolling my eyes; he shoots me a dirty look.

"And I'm only crying for his sake," Tonks interjects. "I could care less about Scarlet, and I know that sounds terrible, but I don't. She made my living space unbearable, and tormented me in so many ways."

"I don't blame you," I say, leaning back in my chair. We all sit in a heavy silence for a few moments, listening to the sound of running water from above. "What would they have done anyways? Scarlet couldn't bring a baby to school."

"They probably would've dropped out," Remus says, wrapping his arm around Tonks's shoulder. "That would've killed Sirius's chances of becoming an Auror."

"I don't know what to say," Tonks mutters, staring incomprehensively at the newspaper. "Sirius being a father?"

"I think we all knew it would happen at some point," I say, trying to give a small smile. "He, being the man-slag he is."

"I suppose," Tonks responds, wiping away another tear.

"He'll get through it," I say evenly, sighing. I know Sirius better than anyone in this room, and I feel like I'm obligated to say this. "Somehow, someway, Sirius Black will find a reason to live again."

XXXXXXXXXXXX

Hey guys! Sorry if I made you cry, because I did! :'(

How are all of you today? Thank God for the weekend! I have one bit of philosophy for you all today: coffee is a writer's best friend. Isn't that the truth?! Although it makes me really sick. :p

That's all I have to say for now! I got some amazing reviews on my last chapter, so thank you all so much! If you're reading, you might as well leave a little review! ;)

Have a good day all! I'm going to get my foot x-rayed because I'm the clumsiest prat ever and I think I broke my big toe! :O

Love you all! *hugs*

~AnM

xoxo

Ps, another extra long chapter! ;D

Pss, please go read my Sherlock Holmes one-shot!


	83. Chapter 82

"_You never know how strong you are... until being strong is the only choice you have." ― Cayla Mills_

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Tonks's POV*_

In light of recent events, James decides to cut our little vacation short, and kindly suggests that we leave the next day. I can't help but agree, for Sirius won't come out of his bedroom at all, keeping himself cooped up; we hear occasional thumps as he throws something across the room, slams a door, and a few times even a strangled cry.

"Poor guy," James mutters at around 11 o'clock that night. We're all seated in the living room again, trying our best to keep it together.

"I can't take it any longer," Remus suddenly announces, standing up and stretching. "I'm off to bed. Dora?"

"I suppose I'll go, too," I say, reluctantly standing and meeting him at the foot of the stairs. "Night James. Peter."

"G'night," they mutter in unison, their hearts not in it at all. Remus and I climb the stairs, our foot steps heavy, and forced. He grabs my hand as some sort of consolation, but it doesn't make much of a difference. He leads me into his room, and flops down on the bed without taking his clothes off. I stand by the door in the near darkness, watching him situating himself across the room.

"Bed time," he calls, throwing his sweater to the ground. A beam of moonlight shines across the bed, illuminating his pale, scarred chest. "Come on."

"I can't," I choke. The tears come like two waterfalls, dripping down both of my cheeks. "Remus, I can't."

"Oh, love," he says, noticing my dismay and quickly crossing the room to wrap his arms around me. We stand in the dim light, his warm, strong arms tightly wound around my torso, mine limped helplessly at my side. I cry freely into his chest as he croons in my ear. "I promise, everything will sort itself out eventually."

"Remus-"

"No," he shushes me, placing a long, thin finger to my lips. "Try to forget about it."

I take calming, deep breaths and bury my head into his chest once more. The tears cease their flow, and my breathing becomes normal again. Our bodies intertwined, we stand so still we could be mistaken for a statue. I feel his heartbeat against my cheek, his warm breath brushing the top of my head. "I'm okay."

"Good," he mutters, pulling away so he can look down at me. I look up and notice there are tears shining in his eyes, too. I reach up wordlessly and wipe them away; he smiles, blushing. "Bed time," he repeats, guiding me over to his bed.

He flops down, his arms still keeping me anchored to him. It takes us a few seconds to get comfortable, but when we do, we lay motionless for a long, long time, and I have the same sensation of us being one body, one heartbeat, one soul. Suddenly, his soft, tentative voice breaks the peaceful silence. "Dora?"

"Mm?"

"I've been thinking…" he starts uncertainly.

"About?"

"Well… we don't want to end up in a situation like Sirius," he says, and my eyes snap open, landing on his pale face in the moonlight. He looks embarrassed, almost sad.

"You mean…" I answer, wondering if I was putting this as delicately as I could. "Like a baby?"

"Mhm."

"Oh, Remus-"

"I'm just saying we should be more careful," he interjects, the blush on his face spreading at an alarming rate. "You know…"

"No, I agree," I say, looking down at the flowery fabric in between us. "We can't be put in that situation… now."

"For now," he agrees, and our eyes meet once again. "I promised to marry you, didn't I?"

"You did," I admit, blushing. We stay silent for a long time, both absorbing the conversation we just had.

"Goodnight, Dora," he says suddenly, jerking me from my thoughts. He closes his eyes sleepily after winking at me.

"Goodnight, love," I respond before letting my eyes fall closed, too.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Wake up, Remus," I croon through the stiff, early morning air. He shifts in his sleep, moaning.

"Five more minutes," he pleads, pulling the covers up over his head. I sigh, placing a kiss over the blanket where his lips are.

"I suppose," I respond sleepily, then crawl off the bed and over to the closet, where I start slowly packing away my things, my heart still dropped into my stomach. I then take a moment to strip the ratty t-shirt I had been wearing for my favorite _Weird Sisters_ tank top. I take a quick glance in the mirror, determining I look like death, before sliding back into bed next to Remus.

"Time's up," I mutter in his ear. He groans, rolling over to face me.

"I'm not ready to get up," he whines, burying his face in my shoulder.

"James will be wondering what we're up to," I insist. "And I think Sirius will be anxious to see us."

"Who are you kidding?" he scoffs, sitting up to face me. "He's probably still in his room."

"Maybe he'll come out today," I say optimistically; Remus grimaces, obviously not believing my optimism.

"Maybe," he says, nonetheless. With that, he slowly slides out of bed and stretches, the muscles in his back and arms flexing; I feel shiver run down my spine.

"I think I'll go see what James is doing," I announce, following him out of bed.

"Right," he says, leaning in to place a quick kiss on my cheek. "Meet you down there."

I exit the room, and survey the lower floor from above; James and Peter are alone in the kitchen, eating breakfast at the island. I sigh, realizing Sirius isn't out yet, but continue to join them, begrudgingly.

"'Morning, Tonksie," James mutters through a mouthful of egg.

"G'morning," I answer, taking a seat next to Peter at the bar. They obviously have themselves quite a feast before them, probably set out earlier in the morning by Lowen. James stands on the other side of the island, eating his eggs while pouring over the _Morning Prophet_; Peter sits beside me, shoveling all the food he can into his mouth. I sit there, too uneasy to take anything, my stomach in knots. "Has he not come down?"

"No," James answers, shrugging. "I heard him earlier, though, making quite a racket in the bathroom."

"Sirius?" a sudden voice questions behind me. I glance over my shoulder and see Remus has joined us, clad in a t-shirt with a navy blue cardigan overtop.

"Who else?" James responds, retrieving a plate for Remus, who takes it and starts piling food high on it. "Not hungry, Tonksie?"

"No," I answer, frowning slightly. "I can't-"

"Come on, Dora," Remus urges, handing his full plate to me. "I'll make another one."

"I don't want to eat," I insist, pushing the plate away. He shrugs, pulling up a chair next to me to begin eating. The four of us sit in an awkward silence for a few minutes, broken only by the clinking of silverware to plates, and sound of food being chewed.

"Oi!" James sudden exclaims, eyes widening as he finishes reading an article. "Everyone, have a look at this."

He slides the paper across the island to where Remus and I sit, and we all crane around to have a good look. It reads:

**NEW INFORMATION ABOUT RECENT MURDER**

_New information has been reported to the Prophet today about the recent murder of Alan White and his family, who were found dead in their London apartment early yesterday morning. After being autopsied, the staff at St. Mungo's claims daughter Scarlet White was five months pregnant at the time of her murder. White, a seventeen year old about to begin her seventh and final year at_ Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry_, hadn't told anyone about her pregnancy, family members said. Her aunt claims that she new absolutely nothing about this strange new detail. Who the father was, authorities do not know at the moment. If you have any information, please contact the Auror Department._

"Wow," Remus breaths, sitting back in his seat. "You don't think he'll say anything, do you?"

"Of course not," James replies, taking the paper back to continue reading. "He'll try to pretend it didn't happen, you know him."

"But it _did_ happen," I insist, placing my chin in my palm, resting my elbow on the counter. "He can't pretend he didn't have a daughter, even if it _was_ only for a few months."

"Like I said," James starts, setting down his fork. "He'll try." He suddenly glances up at something behind us, his eyes widening. "Sirius."

Remus and I crane around in our seats to see a very bedraggled Sirius standing at the top of the stairs. His curly hair, usually styled to perfection, a mess; dark circles loom under his eyes, as if he didn't get any sleep; his pajama pants hang loosely on his body, his torso bare, revealing the scar from the Whomping Willow on his ribs.

"Come," James calls, eyeing him critically as if he were a ticking time bomb. "Have breakfast with us, mate."

"No," he mumbles, dragging himself down the stairs, each step forced and heavy. THUMP. THUMP. THUMP. THUMP. "I'm not hungry."

He shuffles over, eyeing our feast warily before taking the paper from James and scanning the front page. His eyes land on the article about Scarlet, and he chuckles darkly before reading it. We all sit nervously, waiting to see his reaction, hoping he won't explode again. In my opinion, _this_ Sirius is better than weeping, screaming, breaking-down Sirius.

"HAH!" he exclaims, finishing the article. "_Who the father was, authorities do not know at the moment. If you have any information, please contact the Auror department."_

"Sirius-" James starts, running his hand down his face.

"Well, you know what Auror department, I'm right fucking here!" he exclaims, throwing the newspaper back down again. With that, he turns on his heel and stalks for the back door, his hands in fists. "I'm going for a walk…" he mumbles, before slamming the door shut. The four of us sit in a shocked silence for a moment, the vibration of the door slamming still ringing in our ears.

"He didn't take that well, did he?" James says, sighing and picking up miscellaneous parts of the newspaper.

"Not well at all," Remus agrees, staring fixedly at a spot on the counter, trying to avoid eye contact with anyone.

"This will be fun to deal with for two months," James mutters sarcastically. "I'll do my best to keep him from going mad, but…" He trails off, grimacing.

"You said he'd find a way to get over it," I groan, tracing a pattern in the granite countertop in front of me.

"Not this fast," James argues. "It's not like he lost his puppy, Tonks. He lost his daugh-"

"I know, I know," I cut him off, sighing. Remus scowls, looking down into his lap. James picks up his fork again, cutting through the heavy silence. Yes, this was going to be a long, hard summer for all of us.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Remus's POV*_

Two weeks pass. It doesn't seem right, that time can pass this mundanely without Sirius's daughter.

This summer sets a record for the cloudiest and chilliest days since the early 1900s, which made sense, given the current situation. Clouds loom low in the sky, the sun rarely making an appearance for days on end. The rain comes in droves, sticking around for weeks, giving the whole world a cold, soggy atmosphere. Yes, the war is slowly gaining momentum again, Voldemort and his followers more and more confident with each murder.

I haven't heard from James for about a week now, and I'm getting worried. In his last letter, he told me Sirius had started coming out for meals now, a major improvement from the state we left him in. Surprisingly, there hasn't been any more articles about the White family murder either, leaving the whole of the wizarding community seeking closure to the story. One morning at breakfast, I overhear my father discussing it with Kevin.

I sit alone in the kitchen, pushing around some soggy cornflakes in my cereal bowl. My father sits in the living room, reading the newspaper and finishing his morning tea with Kevin. The day is like any other; chilly, grey, and ominous. I tap my foot against the table leg as my father starts talking; even the sound of his voice can infuriate me.

"I wish they would just publish another article about that murder in London," Simon groans, and I hear a rustle of papers. I realize he's shaken closed the _Morning Prophet, _and set down his cup of tea.

"The Whites?" Kevin's voice responds. I don't think they realize I'm just in the adjacent room, eavesdropping. "I haven't heard much either."

"The youngest went to school with Remus,-"

A cough from Kevin.

"-I think she was in his year."

"The pregnant one?" Kevin chuckles. My fingers grasp the spoon with white knuckles, anger starting to course through me like poison.

"Of course," my father responds. There's a silence, then another clinking of china. "It's like reading a good book."

"How?"

"Well, you want to know the ending, right?" Simon explains knowingly. "The suspense is killing me, Kev."

I can't bear to hear any more of this cynical conversation, making the White's death sound like an adventure novel without an ending. I stand roughly from the table, my chair scraping the floor loudly, causing my father and Kevin to fall silent. I stride over to the sink and throw my dishes in, hearing my bowl shatter, but not caring. I make my presence known by stalking through the family room past the pair with dumbstruck faces. I climb the stairs loudly, THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP.

When I enter my room, I slam the door shut, then grab fistfuls of my hair, trying to calm down. Hearing them talk about the death of Sirius's daughter so flippantly pushed me over the edge. I take a swipe at a book placed precariously on my dresser, causing it to fall to the floor.

"Keep it down, you lousy werewolf," I hear muttered from the other side of the door. I freeze, anger boiling up inside me. I stride over to the door and wrench it open to see Kevin's figure retreating down the hall, hands in his pockets, walking jauntily. I decide not to answer, but draw my wand and aim it at his back.

_I'm of age,_ I think maliciously. _There's no rule for me not to use magic now._

But I can't bring myself to do it, and I lower my wand just as he takes refuge in his old bedroom. I sigh, mentally beating myself up for not taking the chance when I had it. I shuffle back into my room, and throw myself down in the seat at my desk, taking out a piece of parchment.

_Dora,_

I start the letter, venting all my emotions to my beloved girlfriend.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

Hey guys! Sorry I haven't been updating lately! I'm actually on my way back from a trip to Mexico! That's right, I'm writing from an airplane! :D I actually think I may have an addiction to Mexico, is that possible? I LOVE everything about it! I swear, America is pretty boring after being there for a week! Sorry, I just HAD to gush. (:

Anyways, thoughts on the chapter? I think I'm pleased! Comments?

I've been reading PoA on my vacation, getting ready to write the first war and all (yes guys, I'm going by the book for this one! Sigh!) and I think I've done some good research! Even I, who've read each book over a dozen times, forget some details, so it's good to go back! I've also had some ideas swirling in my head inspired by my trip to Mexico! Not necessarily about this fan fiction, more about a novel idea, based on one of my experiences that still makes my heart throb. D: If you want to hear it, comment and I'll put it in the next Author's note! (:

Alright lovelies! That was a long note, sorry! How are all of you?! :D *hugs*

Please leave a review! :*

~AnM

xoxo


	84. Chapter 83

"_In each family, a story is playing itself out, and each family's story embodies its hope and despair."-Auguste Napier_

XXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Remus's POV*_

Life slips back into normality without anyone noticing. My father goes back to working at the Ministry day and night, Kevin's visits become sporadic and short-lived, and James finally returns my letter, claiming that Sirius is now regularly associating with the family, eating meals, abandoning the solitary confinement of his bedroom, etc. At least he's made _some_ improvement.

As if the summer couldn't get any worse, another full moon passes, this one anything but normal. Without the stag, dog, and rat by my side, my wolf-self didn't know who it was, and resorted back to self-inflicted harm. I barely remember anything from that night, but I know it was anything but pleasant. It makes me think back to the old days before I had animagus friends willing to put their lives on the line for me; I never want to return to those times, ever.

I awake the next morning in the shack in the woods my father had built for me ten years previous quite disoriented, not used to waking in a pool of my own blood, as I hadn't for the past ten months. I groan and pick myself gingerly off the old, rotting, wooden floor to check the damage: a broken rib, a deep cut above the eyebrow, and a long gash ranging from my collar bone to my navel, the source of all the bleeding. I hastily throw on the set of old clothes I had brought with me, nothing fancy as I know they will soon be as bloody as I am.

I stumble over to the window and support myself on the sill, watching the world slowly waking up after a refreshing rest. It seems as if the only thing not peaceful in this world is the poor lycanthrope watching it all play out from his personal torture chamber. I sigh, wincing as I lay a hand on the back of my neck, my sore muscles contracting painfully under my touch.

Wiping blood out of my eyes, I decide that standing here isn't going to do me any good. So, I gather my things and lock the door of the shack tightly before venturing out through the woods and back to my house. As I walk, the heat of the summer day starts beating down on my weakened body like the sun is directly above my head. Soon, sweat starts to mingle with the blood and grime all over my body. The only thing I want in the entire world is to get home and a take hot shower, then lock myself up in my room and forget everything. As I'm making my way up the normal path from the creek behind my house, though, I realize fulfilling this fantasy is going to be a lot harder than I expected.

The first thing I notice is that Kevin must be spending the day, which is _never_ a good thing, especially after a bad full moon. I eye his stupid Muggle car warily, wiping my mop of light-brown hair out of my eyes, sweat still dripping down my temples like two waterfalls. I then turn around to let myself in the back door, and see something that _should_ bring me immense joy, but makes my heart drop like a brick into my stomach. Two people stand under the back porch, hand in hand. It takes my dull, pain-stricken brain a few moments to make out their faces, but when I do, I almost break down into tears.

"Oliver," I whisper breathlessly, shuffling over to where he and Alisa stand, one hand plastered to the side where my broken rib is. "What are you doing here?"

"Not even a hello, little brother?" he smirks, taking a step towards me as I approach them. "It's been over a year and not even a hello?"

"I'm sorry," I mutter, wiping beads of sweat from my brow. "Hullo."

"Remus," he mutters, grabbing me and pulling me into the warmest, most comforting hug I've ever experienced. "I've missed you so much."

"I've missed you, too," I mumble back, tears welling in my eyes. I try to stop them, not wanting to look like a weak, ignorant child, but they come relentlessly, spilling over and down my cheeks. "I've been so worried, Oliver, so worried."

"We're okay, Remus," he assures me, not letting me out of his embrace. "We're right here. I promise, everything is going to be okay."

I don't respond, but try to pull myself together before he releases me and looks down with a knowing smile. "Lookin' rough, little brother."

"I've looked worse," I mumble, shrugging as I wipe away another tear.

"Oh, Alisa, I probably should explain," Oliver mumbles, bringing my attention to his wife standing by the doorway, eyes popping at the sight of me. I hear him hastily explain to her my condition, although it does not rid her beautiful face of the shocked expression.

"I was wondering why… he was… was… covered in blood," she stutters, her face quite pale and her fingers wound tightly around Oliver's. That's when I notice it. 'The bump.'

"I forgot…" I blurt out stupidly. "You're pregnant…"

"Six months," she says, patting her swollen belly affectionately. I can't stop myself from staring, completely and utterly dumbfounded that she's pregnant with _my_ nephew. Oliver is going to be a father… For some reason, I can't wrap my head around this concept, and continue to stare.

Oliver clears his throat awkwardly and wraps his arm around Alisa's waist. "Well… Shall we go in?"

"Why did you come here, Oliver?" I blurt out again, tearing my eyes from my nephew back to my brother. "You know father won't be happy."

"I know he won't," Oliver grimaces, walking away from Alisa and over to where Kevin's car is parked. "Who's is this?"

"Kevin's," I respond, sighing.

"Of course," Oliver mutters. "The prat."

He aims a good kick at the bumper.

"Come on," he continues, stalking over and grabbing Alisa's hand once again. "This has got to happen some time."

"Please reconsider, Oliver," I plead, stopping his free hand from grabbing his wand. "You can talk, but please promise me it won't get violent."

He looks down at me intensely, eyes narrowed. "Fine."

I let out a sigh of relief, backing away and letting him unlock the back door.

"But if I have to defend myself, I will," he adds, then leads the way into the basement. I follow, still stumbling over my own feet as we silently enter the house and close the door the behind us. The basement is vacant, cool, and dim. Oliver wordlessly crosses the room and starts up the stairs, Alisa and I on his trail. As he opens the basement door, letting light flood the old, rickety stairs, I hear people in the kitchen stop their conversation.

"Remus?" my mother calls, her heels clicking in our direction. "Is that you?"

She comes around the corner and sees Oliver, stopping dead in her tracks. "Mum-"

"Oliver…" she looks lost for words as Alisa and I come up behind him, Alisa reclaiming his hand. "What in God's name-"

"Darling?" my father calls from the kitchen. "What's going on in there?"

She swallows, her face as pale as any Hogwarts ghost. "N-nothing," she calls back. "Give me a minute."

"Mum-" Oliver starts again, taking a step toward her.

"Oliver, you listen to me," she starts in an undertone. "You get out of here, _right now._ Your father will not be happy to see you, you hear me? He's been waiting for you to come crawling back, and now that you have, with your-your… pregnant girlfriend-"

"She's my wife," Oliver interjects. My mother looks as if he had suddenly sprouted an extra head, her jaw dropped in complete and utter shock.

"That doesn't matter," she continues, regaining her composure. "You need to leave, _now_. Things will not be pretty between you and Simon if you go in there right now… Please son, I beg you. Because I love you, because I care about you, I beg you to leave."

Seeing my mother completely broken down like that, sobbing uncontrollably at the arrival of her second-born son, makes me uncomfortable, and I feel my stomach twist in knots. She suddenly looks over at me through red, puffy eyes, sighing. "Come on, darling. Let's get you cleaned up."

Before anyone can move, Oliver abandons Alisa, pushes past my mother, and stalks around the corner into the kitchen. She looks devastated, her hands clenched into fists as she hurries after him, Alisa and I after her.

Oliver stands in the middle of the kitchen, staring directly into the eyes of my father. Kevin stands frozen at the sink, an eggshell in one hand, a frying pan in the other; Elizabeth and Libby sit at the table with my father, looking so little and frightened in their chairs, although they are both practically teenagers. Elizabeth looks up Oliver with pure hatred from behind her green eyes, her face contorted in rage; Olivia looks quite the opposite though, her shining eyes wide with joy at seeing her long-lost brother again. Before anything can be said, she wordlessly gets up from her chair at the table and wraps her thin arms around Oliver's waist, silently bawling. No one says anything as she does this, not even Oliver himself.

"Where have you been, Oliver?!" she sobs, her little body shaking. "Why did you leave us?!"

"Shh," he croons, wrapping her in his warm embrace. "We'll talk later-"

"You most certainly will _not_."

Every head in the room snaps to my father, his thin face the color of the scarlet on the Gryffindor flag. "Olivia sit down."

She lets a out a final sob before shuffling back over to her seat, her eyes red and puffy from crying. They land on me, standing weak and bloodied in the doorway behind my mother and Alisa. She gives me and unreadable look before turning her attention back to Oliver and our father.

"What in the hell made you think it would be a good idea to come crawling back here?" Simon spits at Oliver.

"I came to patch things up, father," Oliver explains, trying to keep his voice even and respectful. "I never intended to-"

"You left this house over a year ago, with nothing more than a ruddy letter explaining that you '_don't agree with my beliefs'_ and now you expect for me to welcome you back with open arms? Oh-ho, no, son, I don't think it'll be that easy. _'Don't agree with my beliefs'_ my ass."

"I don't," Kevin explains hurriedly, fighting with his anger. "You oppressed your own son for no reason-"

"Are we talking about Remus, here?" my father interjects, and my heart drops into my stomach. _Please don't bring me into this_, I think.

"Me and Remus both," Oliver says. When my father doesn't answer, Oliver explodes. "He didn't choose to become a werewolf! He didn't _want_ to live the rest of his life subjected to prejudice by ignorant prats like you! He never wanted to be the object of your dismay, your embarrassment, '_the stain on the Lupin family tree_!' All he wanted was to live a normal life, to be your pride and joy! He's your son, for God's sake, and you treat him like the scum of the earth! He could've grown up shielded from that horrid world of misunderstanding, but no. He was thrown right into it as a young child, not understanding why mummy and daddy hated him so. You've had a negative impact on this man's life right here! And you won't even own up to it…"

There's a very heavy silence that falls upon the kitchen at the end of Oliver's speech, like a blizzard had just blown through, leaving everything and everyone completely buried in snow and shock. My father shifts in his seat, eyes flashing back to where I stand, looking uncomfortable.

"Your prejudice doesn't end there…" Oliver continues, voice soft, even, and controlled, but barely. "What do you have against mixing magical and muggle blood? There's nothing wrong with it. The child isn't going to be mutated because one of its parents was magical and the other a muggle. It's going to be a perfectly normal, happy child, laden with the blessing of being of able to do magic. What's the difference, really, when you think about it? One parent isn't magical. Is that really all you care about? _Being pure-blooded-"_

Oliver spits on the floor.

"-my ass. You want to know why, Simon?"

He pauses, looking for a response from my father. When he doesn't get it, he looks back at Alisa and she wordlessly steps forward to join him. "Your first grandchild is going to be a half-blood."

My father's eyes widen, landing on Alisa's bump as Oliver lays his hand on it.

"This child will be raised as any other, Simon. It _will_ go to Hogwarts, it _will_ learn magic, it _won't_ be treated any differently because its mother was a muggle. If you think any different, you are _truly_ foolish."

My father's fingers itch for his wand. He takes a deep breath and stands at the head of the table, his and Oliver's eye contact never breaking. "I'm giving you a full minute to get out of my house before I curse you and your dirty muggle wife until you are unrecognizable."

"Simon!" my mother exclaims, tears streaming down her face.

"Don't talk," he silences her. "Leave. Go. Now."

With a final glance around the kitchen of his childhood home, Oliver regains his grip on Alisa's hand and they fly from the house without looking back. We hear a crack of apparition as the front door slams closed, and Olivia lets out a strangled whimper. My father eyes her with contempt as he stalks from behind the table and over to me.

"I don't want to know if you had any knowledge of this. But I warn you now, boy, if I find that you ever have contact with him again, you'll be out on the streets before you can blink."

I swallow, the tears coming again, but ignoring them in the face of danger. My father turns away from me and addresses the kitchen again. "Get up to your rooms now, you three. I don't want to hear you for the rest of the day."

Olivia scrambles out of her seat and grabs my hand, trembling. Elizabeth stalks past us, making sure to bump into my shoulder as she takes the stairs first, retreating into her room and locking the door.

I bring Olivia into mine and try to calm her down. Even as thirteen year-old she is still a frightened, young girl, unable to control her emotions. I sit in bed with her, letting her cry profusely on my shoulder, being strong for her, but wanting to fall apart and cry myself.

XXXXXXXXXXX

Hi guys! Sorry this update has taken awhile!

I could go into detail, but I started the novel idea I mentioned in the last author's note, so that's been taking some time, sorry guys! Also, I've been going through a bit of a rough time, so updates might be few and far between for a while guys, I'm so sorry.

Please leave a review, that would mean the world to me.

I love you all to pieces.

~ AnM


	85. Chapter 84

"_Growing up happens when you start having things you look back on and wish you could change -Clary Fray" ― Cassandra Clare, City of Ashes_

XXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Tonks's POV*_

Tears drip down my cheek and onto the piece of parchment clutched in my shaking hands. As I finish reading Remus's letter, I feel a spot in the middle of chest start to ache. I set it down on my desk and wrap my arms around myself, silently sobbing into the nook of my elbows. After reading his account of the events from yesterday, my hatred for his father only grows stronger. I don't understand how one man can be so ignorant, so narrow-minded, so prejudice. More than anything I yearn for Thursday, just so he can get away from all the hatred and back to where he is completely accepted. Yes, it's finally only four days until we begin our seventh and final year at Hogwarts. But, my time to sulk is rudely cut short.

"Tonks?!" I hear through the door, a loud knock accompanying the intruding voice. "Are you okay?"

Begrudgingly, I stand and cross the room, hastily wiping the tears away, hoping he won't notice my puffy, red eyes and tear-stained cheeks. "What do you want, Aaron?"

"I just heard sobbing… and, well… I, being your brother-"

"You were concerned?" I finish for him, crossing my arms and leaning against the threshold.

"Well of course," he says, trying to break a smile. "You're my little sister, I'll always be protective of you."

"Thanks Aaron," I mutter, awkwardly patting his shoulder. "But I'm okay, you don't have to worry."

"Are you sure?" he asks, raising an eyebrow.

"One hundred percent," I confirm, slipping the little white lie right past him.

And he believes it.

"Okay," he says uncertainly, smirking. "If you say so." He pinches my cheek lovingly before turning to walk away, his hands deep in his pockets.

"Speaking of being okay," I start loudly, making him turn around. "I thought you were supposed to be out job hunting today."

He makes a face then comes sideling back down the hallway, the Aaron-smirk that I love so much still sporting proudly on his lips. "Yeah, I'm _supposed_ to be."

"What happened then?"

"Nothing," he admits, shrugging. "I just don't feel like going."

"_Don't feel like going?_" I repeat incredulously. "Dad's going to have your ass if-"

"I know, I know, I don't need to be told off," he mutters in an undertone, irritated.

"Sorry," I murmur, face blushing. "I didn't realize it was such a touchy subject."

"Tonks, we both know…" he trails off, glancing around. "Are Sasha and Alice here today?"

"They're supposed to be coming around 3:30, why?" I answer, knitting my eyebrows together.

"In here," he whispers, ushering me back into my room.

"What's going on?" I ask, tripping over my own feet as he follows me in and shuts the door.

"Tonks, we both know I'm never going to amount to anything."

I stand there in shock for a moment, completely still, staring into the eyes of my favorite brother. I don't believe what he's saying, I don't _want_ to believe what he's saying.

"That's not true, Aaron-"

"Yes it is," he cuts me off. He runs his fingers through his wild black hair, and begins to pace, the nineteen year old unraveling before my eyes. "Between you and Sasha, I'm nothing."

"That's not true, Aaron," I repeat, getting frustrated with him for thinking like that. "You're good at a lot of things!"

"Yeah, like what?" he spats in my direction. "I can't even get myself a bloody girlfriend when you and Sasha both have soul mates!"

"Stop comparing yourself to me and Sasha! This isn't going to help anything," I say firmly.

"You know it's true, Nymphadora, you just don't want to admit it."

"Okay first, _don't_ call me Nymphadora. Second, I certainly do _not_ know that's true, because it isn't! And what does this have to do with anything, may I ask?"

"It's not worth job hunting if I know I'll never actually get one," he explains, stopping his pacing, shoulders heaving. I don't know how to approach him, the black sheep of the family. I would be lying if I said the three children all had equal success; I'm on the fast track to becoming an Auror, Sasha is engaged, living in London with a high-ranking position in the Ministry. And Aaron… well, Aaron lives at home, sometimes picking up a Muggle job or two to be able to afford an apartment of his own one day. While Sasha and I excelled at our O.W.L.s, Aaron barely passed. With scores like his, he might be able to scrape a low-ranking job in some obscure office at the Ministry, which probably wouldn't pay much. I sigh, all thoughts of the past hour gone, my attention now solely on my brother.

"Aaron," I start, slowly and evenly. "You can't be talking like this. If you really want to succeed in anything, you can't be such a downer."

"It's hard not to be," he mutters, slinking past me and over to take a seat on my bed. I turn around, mentally preparing myself for a battle.

"Well you know what? With _this_ attitude, your sorry ass isn't going to go anywhere," I say, trying a new tactic. I place my hand on my hip as he looks up at me, wide-eyed and shocked at my sudden change of character. "You need to reevaluate your outlook on this situation if you want to succeed."

"Wow, who taught you to be such a bitch, sis?" he says incredulously, chuckling.

"I taught myself," I answer smugly, taking a seat next to him on the bed. "Growing up with two older brothers, a girl needs to learn how to defend herself."

Aaron looks over at me and smiles, his pale face brightening in the morning sun. "We didn't torture you _that_ bad did we?"

"So bad, I'm surprised I'm not a homicidal sociopath," I remark, chuckling. Aaron reaches over and pulls me into an awkward hug, my head resting on his chest.

"I love you, sissy," he mutters after a few moments, choked up.

"I love you, too, Aaron," I reply, feeling myself on the verge of tears as well.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

_*September 1__st__, 1977*_

My alarm goes off at 8:30 am, exactly two hours before we're set to leave. I drag myself out of bed and take a shower, brush my teeth, and get dressed in my signature ripped jeans and black converse. After checking and rechecking my packed trunk, I stand in front of the mirror for a good twenty minutes, trying to decide how to wear my hair for such a special day. I decide on short, spiky, and pink, which compliments my bright yellow t-shirt. I sigh, just standing and observing myself, in awe of what I see.

This is the first day of my last year at Hogwarts.

I can remember clearly how I felt exactly six years ago, standing and looking in the same mirror, my stomach in knots with nerves and excitement. I can remember how my mother called from the kitchen that breakfast was ready, her voice as clear and delightful as a Christmas bell. My whole family sat around the table together, digging into the beautiful spread she had prepared for us, us three kids discussing how exciting that year was going to be. It seems so odd, yet Sasha was only going into fifth year and Aaron was only going into third at the time. I remember bolting back up the stairs after finishing my meal and dragging my humungous trunk down the stairs, and how my father had to come help me halfway because it was too big and heavy for me. He packed in the back of the car for me along with my brother's trunks, and he ruffled my hair saying how proud he was of me. We drove the familiar road to King's Cross, one I was used to taking, but it felt immensely strange and different to me that day. I can remember my mother hugging and kissing and fussing over the three of us on the platform, but finally paying special attention to me because it was my year. I remember following my big brothers onto the big, scarlet steam engine, and waving and watching my parents shrink to tiny ants before disappearing. And I remember that's when the nerves really kicked in.

More than anything I remember meeting my friends. I can still feel the exact way the bully pushed me into their compartment, and how feisty I got in that moment. I remember the feeling of both my cheeks and hair turning bright red, every ounce of attitude I inherited from my mother kicking in. I remember screaming in his face, a little ball of fury, and slamming the compartment door shut. And I remember turning around and seeing them, sitting there so innocently. I can still feel my hand clutching theirs, shaking it and hearing their names for the first time. _James Potter. Sirius Black. Remus Lupin._ I remember hearing that name for the first time especially well. I can still see his little, scarred face looking up at me, those stunning amber eyes meeting mine for the first time. This stranger whom I had just met instantly brought me joy, comfort, and a million other emotions a ten year old doesn't know how to deal with. But now that I'm sixteen, and we've been through all we've been through, it makes total sense. There's no doubt in my mind that Remus and I are soul mates, and we met exactly six years ago today.

But now, everything is different. The three excited, bouncy siblings are grown up, have learned all they could, and do not depend on their parents anymore. Sasha and Aaron have graduated and moved on, Sasha engaged and living on his own. The three siblings barely talk anymore, and do not gather around the breakfast table to eat the feast prepared for them by their mother. Instead, I sit alone, solemnly finishing the bowl of cereal I got myself. I don't need help carrying my trunk down the stairs because I am fully capable and strong enough. I load it in the back of the car, and take my seat all by myself, not accompanied by my brothers today. The car ride is long and banal, conversation sparse between anyone. When we finally reach King's Cross, I heave my trunk out of the back and onto a trolley, which I push into the station and over to platforms nine and ten, flanked by my parents. After crossing the barrier and loading my luggage onto the right car, I return to bid farewell to them.

"I can't believe how big you've gotten, Nymphadora," my mother croons, pulling me into a warm embrace. "It seems only yesterday that you were off to your first year at Hogwarts. And now, you're this. A beautiful, smart young lady."

"Thank you, mum," I say, pulling away to discover she has tears sparkling in her eyes. "Don't cry, mum, I'll be fine!"

"I know you will, that's the thing!" she chokes, caressing my cheek. "You're so independent and capable. I'm so proud of you, love."

"Thank you," I repeat, cracking a loving smile. I then turn to my father and almost immediately start to bawl. "Goodbye, dad."

"Goodbye, Dora," he mutters, pulling me into his big, warm, bear hug. I close my eyes and just let myself melt, forgetting about all the bad things in the world for a moment. "I'm so proud of you, darling."

I pull away from him and look up to meet his eyes, seeing his eyes are shiny with tears as well. "Dad, why are you crying? You didn't cry when Sasha and Aaron went."

"They weren't my little girl," he explains, wiping a tear off of my cheek. I can't possibly respond to that, so I just stand on tip-toe and give him a kiss on the cheek, then give one to my mother.

"Goodbye guys," I say as the first whistle blows. "I'll miss you so much."

"We'll miss you, too," my mother says, dabbing her eyes with her handkerchief.

"'Bye," I mutter again before turning and boarding the train at the nearest door, trying to hold myself together.

As the train pulls out of the station, I find a good spot to stand at to wave at them. They get smaller and smaller and smaller as the train gets farther and farther away. More tears leak out and dribble down my cheeks, realization hitting me full in the face that this was it. The moment. The beginning of the end.

When the train makes the bend, I take a deep breath and put on my brave face, knowing that I can't be loosing it this early on. I break away from the mob of students around the windows and find a bathroom where I can clean myself up before going to meet my friends. After pulling myself together, I look up in the mirror and just stare again, a new and more positive thought forming in my mind.

This _is_ our seventh year and we can do whatever the hell we want. We're at the top of the school, and with friends like mine, you can only imagine what havoc is going to ensue. Be it staying up entirely too late, drinking and dancing the night away, be it spending a lazy afternoon on the banks of the Black Lake when we really should be studying, or be it playing a few harmless pranks on some underclassmen, we're going to make this the best bloody year ever. Yes, it's time to put all the bad and negative thoughts behind us, for they belong in the past. Because this is our year, and it's time to start living.

XXXXXXXXXX

Hello lovelies! :*

I'm incredibly sorry about lack of updates. *slap myself in the face* School, shows, etc, you guys know the drill by now!

Something terrible happened to me this morning when I realized the file I kept on my phone that had all my ideas about this fic got deleted! Yikes! I tried for a solid hour to retrieve it, but I just couldn't, I would have had to pay $60 to retrieve one file! Ughhh technology! I have most of them re-typed in, so hopefully I don't forget anything major!

Anyways, did you guys like the chapter?! I'll admit, I got pretty choked up there for a little bit writing this! It's just incredible to me, that they're all finally grown up and entering a new time of their lives! I'm going to miss writing Hogwarts! :'(

Have a lovely night guys! Hopefully I can update soon!

xoxo

~AnM


	86. Chapter 85

"_Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage." ― Lao Tzu_

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Remus's POV*_

"OI!" I hear shouted from somewhere in the massive crowd crammed on the platform. "Over here, Moony!"

I whip around to my right and see two black-haired boys jumping to get a better look over the heads of all the people, waving their arms frantically to get my attention. I chuckle, get a better grip on my luggage, and push past a few underclassmen to find James and Sirius standing next to the luggage car with the biggest smiles on their faces.

"Moony!" James yells, tripping over his own trunk in an attempt to throw his arms dramatically around me. "It's been too long, my friend!"

"Oh, shove off," I mutter, pushing him away and chuckling. "I'm happy to see you, too."

"No hug for me?" Sirius says mischievously, and at first I'm taken aback. This is not the man I remember from two months ago, unwilling to participate in any aspect of life, pain and loss tearing at every inch of him, threatening to completely destroy him at any moment; the Sirius I now see reminds me so of how he was at eleven years old. He beams, his curly tangle of hair bouncing in the morning sun, giving me a bracing, brotherly hug. I smile back at him, almost cautiously, not sure if I'm willing to believe the transformation yet. As I observe him more, my brilliant mind analyzes the man I've come to know so well, and realizes he's not completely back to normal. Only someone such as myself, James, or even Tonks could realize it, but every movement he makes is somewhat delayed, and even looks painful; if you would stand and watch his face for a few seconds, you would notice it flicker with distress, his eyes squeezing closed as if trying to ward off negative thoughts, and then completely disappear, replaced with his usual cheeky smile.

"So, uh…" I start, looking nervously at him. "How've you been?"

It takes him a few moments to answer this, his body language changing drastically, as if he was forgetting to make it seem like he was okay. His shoulders slunk and his eyes become unfocused as he thinks about how to answer this question.

"Um…" he starts, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. "Better."

"Just… better?" I ask, eyeing his every move.

"Just better," he confirms. He then lowers his voice and takes a step closer to me. "It's just been getting easier, yanno? Everything, I mean. The nightmares have gone away, and I can finally get a full night's rest without… well, you know."

I nod slowly, unsure of how to answer. "Brilliant."

"Thanks," he replies, stepping back into his spot next to James. "Oh! I forgot to tell you, I got a tattoo!"

"You what?!" me and James exclaim in unison. I turn to him, knitting my eyebrows together.

"You didn't know about this?" I ask him, incredulous.

"No, I had no idea, when in the bloody hell did you get a tattoo?!" James replies, as shocked as I am.

"A few weeks ago," Sirius replies, dropping his voice again. "It's in honor of her."

"What is it?" I ask, still shocked beyond belief.

"Her name," he explains. "Want to see?"

"Eh, no, not here," James exclaims, reaching out to stop Sirius from lifting his black t-shirt in the middle of the platform. "I can't be seen with you doing that…"

"Why not?" I ask, again surprised at my friend's behavior.

"Ooh, you didn't tell him, Jamesie?" Sirius says, elbowing him in the ribs.

"No, I've only just seen him," James replies, rolling his eyes. "I… got a letter this summer… I… fuck it. I'm Head Boy, okay?"

I stand in shock for a moment, this piece of news far more shocking than Sirius getting a tattoo. After staring at him for a moment, I break out in ravenous laughter, clutching a stitch in my side.

"What's so funny?!" he exclaims, looking murderous.

"Who in hell made you Head Boy?!" I reply, still trying to catch my breath. "I mean you, trouble-maker extraordinaire?"

"_Formerly_ trouble-maker extraordinaire," he corrects, raising his index finger at me. "I'm a changed man, Moony."

"What do you mean?" I ask, the first whistle to board the train sounding. "You'll still... yanno, help me with my problem, right?"

"Of course," he replies, and I breathe a sigh of relief. I take my trunk and heave it onto the luggage car, then follow James and Sirius to the compartment where we said we would meet Peter and Tonks. "I'm just trying to be a better-all-around person, okay? Not harass underclassmen, don't blow up my cauldron on purpose in potions, and don't think I run the school, even though I do."

"I'll be very impressed if you can pull that off," I muse, entering the crowded train hallway. "Especially that last part."

"Remus, I'm an enlightened man," he chuckles, turning right into our compartment. "I now realize how wrong I was living."

"You're insane," I chuckle, taking a seat opposite them. "Completely and one hundred percent _insane_."

"That's what I said," Sirius agrees, taking a more comfortable position and lying down so he stares up at the ceiling.

"Why are you doing this anyway?" I ask incredulously, taking my bag off my shoulder as the second whistle blows.

He takes a moment to answer this, his face suddenly turning a brilliant red. "I want to live a better life, finish my Hogwarts career off-"

"OH! BULLSHIT!" Sirius suddenly exclaims, sitting up with a mad gleam in his eye. "I know _exactly_ why you're doing this."

"Why then, oh wise one?" James retorts sarcastically.

"One word," Sirius says, a smile breaking across his face. "Evans."

I suppress a chuckle as James's face turns even a darker red and hides an embarrassed smile. "No, not at all."

"Oh, don't you lie!" Sirius exclaims, now in a full-on laughter fit. "I know you were writing her _all_ summer!"

"Shut up, Pads," James murmurs, chucking a book out of his bag at him.

"Ouch, dammit!" Sirius exclaims, picking up the book from the floor and throwing right back at him, knocking his glasses off. "I was right! I was right!"

"So what if you were?" James says embarrassedly, picking up his glasses. "At least I'm changing for a good reason!"

"I commend you for that, and will hold you to your word," I say mischievously as the third and final whistle blows.

"We're off already?" James says, eager to change the subject.

"Yes, James," Sirius says knowingly, the satisfied smile still on his face. "Now, back to-"

"No," James says, turning away from the window and back to Sirius. "We're not going to go there."

"But is she interested?!" he pleads as James turns away again. "That's all I ask!"

Again, red-faced James takes a good ten seconds to answer. "Yeah."

"Ooooooh, Potter finally hit the jackpot!" Sirius whoops, slapping him on the back in a celebratory fashion.

"_Finally_, only after six years!" I add, chuckling along with Sirius, but genuinely glad for him.

"Okay, enough harassment for one day," he chuckles, giving Sirius a look.

"He's right," Sirius agrees, sighing. "I mean, it's our last first day of school. Isn't that unbelievable?"

"Totally," James agrees. "I can still remember our first day clearly."

"Who doesn't have fond memories of their first day?" I add, smiling at the thought. "I wouldn't be the man I am if I wouldn't have decided to sit with you lot."

"That's very touching, Moony, thank you," James says, mockingly placing a hand over his heart.

"Oh, shove off, I was being sincere!" I exclaim, chuckling.

"I know you were," James replies, crossing him arms and sitting back. "But that doesn't mean I can't make fun of you."

"Did I miss something?" a voice suddenly interrupts from the open compartment door. All three of our heads whip in the direction of our intruder to find it's not an intruder at all. It's Tonks, standing and beaming at us, pink hair and all. "Wotcher!"

"Wotcher to you, too," I say slyly, standing and running over to pick her up and twirl her around the compartment as she laughs her bubbly, clear, euphoric laugh that I love so much. I set her down and place a kiss on her plump, pink lips, a flood of emotions coursing through me.

"We're still here, you remember that, right?" James interrupts loudly as we break apart.

"Oh, of course, Jamesie," she croons, releasing me to go hug him. "Good to see you. And you." She turns to Sirius, and her face suddenly turns apprehensive.

"Come here, chickadee," he says, opening his arms wide. She rushes over and fills them, beaming.

"How are you doing?" she asks, looking down into his eyes seriously.

"Better," he repeats the answer. "Just… better. Yanno, living."

"Living," she repeats, wandering over to rejoin me on the opposite bench. "Interesting choice of word."

"Hey, it's true," he says, shrugging. "What's there to do about it?"

I hope it's a rhetorical question because no one answers, and a heavy silence falls over the compartment.

"You know," James says, deciding to break the ice. "I could report you two for public display of affection."

"Oh, you have no authority," Tonks chuckles, immediately dismissing his claim. She then notices his facial expression and how dead serious he is. "Did I miss something?"

"Yes," James says, nodding. "You're talking to the new Head Boy."

"What?!" she exclaims, her reaction almost identical to mine. "No you're not, you're pulling my leg."

"Not at all," James smirks, rummaging in his bag for something. He produces something small and gold, and throws it over to us. It's his Head Boy badge, shiny and new in the morning sunlight.

"Holy shit," Tonks breathes. "I know this is going to sound rude but… why you?"

"I guess Minny saw 'a change in my behavior,' and how well I've interacted with other students, or at least that's what the letter said. I honestly have no clue why they would give such a prestigious title to someone like me."

"Who's the Head Girl?" Tonks asks, lacing her fingers with mine and relaxing. Sirius sniggers, and James gives him a very dirty look.

"Lily," he says quietly and almost embarrassedly again.

"Lily Evans?" she asks, smirking. "Your new _love_?"

"How do you know?!" he exclaims.

"I'm Lily's best friend, she tells me everything, James," she explains, her smirk growing wider as James's face gets brighter.

"Stop being such an ass about it," Sirius scoffs. "I don't understand why you get so embarrassed when someone mentions it. Everyone goes through this, I don't see why it's such a big deal."

"Because I really like her, okay Sirius?" he retorts, the blushing in his face slowly receding.

"Of course you do, mate, but that's no reason to cause such a fuss," I say slowly.

"Thanks," James responds, still not meeting our eyes. Another silence falls over us.

"Okay, well I don't know about you guys, but this is our seventh year, and I'm _totally_ ready to fuck this bitch up," Sirius suddenly announces. "Anyone else?"

"Cheers to that!" Tonks exclaims, raising an imaginary glass. "Time to live!"

"That's the kind of attitude I like to see!" he exclaims, smiling broadly at her, following suit with the raising of the make-believe glass. "Come on, everyone!"

Begrudgingly, I raise my hand in a fake toast as James does the same, still not exactly over the torment we just put him through.

"That's right! Now, class of seventy-eight, are we ready to party?!"

XXXXXXXXXXX

Hello wonderful beautiful awesome people who still read this! ^.^

How're you guys today?! Lovely? I hope so! Hope you enjoyed the chapter, sorry for the delay, yada yadda yadddaaaa. XD

PLEASE leave a review, I would love you forever and ever! :*

Have a lovely evening!

~AnM

xoxo


	87. Chapter 86

"_Change has to come for life to struggle forward." ― Helen Hollick, The Kingmaking_

XXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Tonks's POV*_

After arriving at Hogsmede Station and making our annual journey up to the school for the last time, we find refuge in the Great Hall among all of our old friends, candles burning low, a hum of excitement heard all around. As we make our way through the throng of students to find a seat, my hand clutched in Remus's, James stops abruptly, causing the rest of us to collide into each other.

"What is it?" Sirius asks, standing on tiptoe to see over James's shoulder. "Why did you stop? Oh, of course…"

I lean to my left and see James greeting Lily in the most polite way I've ever seen. He reaches out and grabs her pale hand, bringing it to his lips before muttering something. I can't quite hear their conversation from so far behind him, but I can get an idea since Sirius is snickering beyond control.

"Come on, we'll leave the lovebirds alone," he suddenly announces, side-stepping to get around the two. "We'll save a seat for you."

James nods, watching us continue down the isle before turning back to Lily, blushing and smiling uncontrollably.

"What a bunch of crap that is," Sirius mutters under his breath as he finds an empty bench and takes a seat.

"He's in love, Padfoot," Remus says, sitting opposite him. "Let him have his fun."

"_Love,_" Sirius repeats, doing air quotes around the word. "As if-"

But he can't finish his sentence, for he's been knocked into from behind by a small figure in black robes.

"Hey, watch it!" he exclaims, twisting around in his seat to find a girl with dark brown hair and eyes, gazing sadly down at him. "Marlene?"

"Oh, I'm _so_ sorry, Sirius!" she rushes, blushing. "I didn't mean… I just tripped… it's so crowded in here, I couldn't see where I was going… sorry."

"Don't worry about it," he waves her off, sighing. "Just watch it next time, okay?"

"Will do," she mutters, nodding her head and retreating quickly away to the Ravenclaw table.

"_That_ was Marlene? Marlene McKinnon?" Remus asks in a shocked undertone as soon as she's out of earshot.

"Yeah!" Sirius replies excitedly.

"I didn't even recognize her!" I add, as surprised as they are. "She looks so incredibly different than the last time I saw her!"

"I mean, she's looking _good_," Sirius mutters, looking over his shoulder to where she scurried off. "If this was three years ago, I wouldn't have been as nice, but _damn_ she looks good."

Remus rolls his eyes as James wanders over, still red-faced and beaming. "She went to find Lydia."

"Jamesie, have you seen Marlene McKinnon lately?" Sirius interrupts as James takes his seat next to him.

"Um, no, why?" James replies, confused.

"Just saw her, she ran into me," Sirius explains, still trying to sneak another peak. "She looks amazing, mate."

"Marlene McKinnon, as in stalker Marlene McKinnon?" James clarifies with a chuckle.

"Yeah! It's insane!" Sirius replies, looking to Remus for support. "You have to admit she looked good."

"She looked, um… better than before," Remus says, looking nervously over at me.

"Oh, shove off, you know she looked extremely fit," Sirius says, finally turning the whole way around in his seat.

"I said she looked better than before," Remus repeats. "That's all I'm saying."

"I don't mind, love," I add, chuckling.

"She looked pretty damn good," he says, kissing the back of my hand. "But not as good as you."

I blush, happy to be spared of the conversation by Dumbledore standing and attracting everyone's attention. After witnessing the sorting ceremony as real veterans, we sit and listen with rapt attention to the headmaster's speech. After the first year that he informed the student body about Lord Voldemort, every speech since has contained dark undertones and messages of being strong and keeping hope. I appreciate and respect it, yet it always gives me the chills when he starts on this topic. I know it probably isn't a very warm welcome to the first years, but at least they're hearing the truth and not being fed with lies.

As it would be logical, this year comes with the most foreboding speech that I can remember. Just as everyone thought the war was slowly coming to an end, it picked back up again, throwing the wizarding world back into chaos, death and destruction everywhere. I keep my eyes in my lap most of the time, not wanting to have to see the faces of people heavily affected by the war. Remus keeps my hand tightly clutched in his the entire time, rubbing his thumb against my knuckles in a comforting way. Just as Dumbledore finishes his speech and announces the beginning of the feast, I finally look up and see him giving me an encouraging smile. I break my emotionless stare and smile back, leaning up to give him a quick peck on the cheek.

"Thank God," Sirius moans as the plates in front of us magically fill with more food than you can imagine. "I'm _starving_."

"When aren't you starving?" I chuckle, releasing Remus's hand to pick up my knife and fork. "All of you."

"We're growing men, Tonks, you wouldn't understand," James waves me off, heaping a whole turkey leg onto his plate. I sigh, rolling my eyes as I myself begin to fill my plate.

I don't know if it's the fact that this is the last Welcoming Feast we'll ever attend, or just the fact that the house elves outdid themselves this year, but the feast was _fantastic. _As I'm finishing off my pudding, I realize that I can't think of another year that it was better, making this the best the feast had ever been. When I announce this thought out loud, all my friends agree that they were just thinking the same thing.

"I could go for some seconds," Sirius says, placing his hands on his bulging belly.

"You had seconds," Remus says, placing his spoon down. "And thirds."

"Okay," Sirius says, raising an eyebrow. "I could go for some fourths then."

"Only you would say that you could go for fourths," I laugh, reclaiming Remus's hand in mine. Sirius is spared having to answer by Dumbledore standing and announcing that it's time for bed. With a loud scraping of benches on stone, and a new burst of chatter breaking out, students begin filing out of the Hall. James stands, looking nervous.

"What's up?" I ask, noticing this weird behavior.

"The Heads are supposed to meet with McGonagall after the feast," he explains, accompanied with an eye roll from Sirius.

"Go find her then," I say, logically solving the problem. He nods and mutters a quick thank you before pushing against the flow of the crowd toward the front of the Hall. "He's just nervous, Sirius."

"I know," Sirius mutters, blowing out a breath before continuing. "I just don't know if I like the new James. I hope he's still fun."

"Of course he'll still be fun," I say, scoffing. "He didn't exchange souls with a goody-two-shoes, he's still James Potter."

"I suppose you're right," he mutters, pushing past a little red-haired first year. "Shouldn't you be herding them up like cattle, Remus?"

"Not this year," he explains, following close behind. "I'm what they call a 'Senior Prefect.' Pretty much they didn't choose me for Head Boy, so they elect new prefects from the 5th years and put me and all the old ones in charge of them. But we really don't do anything except keep them in line and show them the ropes."

"That's strange," I admit, finally crossing the threshold into the Entrance Hall and beginning our ascent up the marble stairs.

"Yeah," he agrees, nodding. "I guess it's just a way to train the new generation without completely stripping us of our powers."

"So, I can do as much shit in front of you as I want, and not have to worry about it anymore?" Sirius questions, smirking.

"No, I can still report you," Remus replies, returning the smirk.

"Damn," Sirius chuckles, accidentally ramming into a boy in front of him. "Sorry, mate."

"Sirius?!" the boy exclaims, turning around with an excited smile on his face. "I've been looking all over for you guys!"

"Wormtail?" Sirius questions, surprised. "Where in the hell have you been?!"

"I got caught on the train!" he explains, more than excited that he'd found his group. "And when I got off, I _still_ couldn't find you guys! And now I have! Thank God, I was getting so worried!"

"Calm down, Wormtail," Sirius chuckles. "It's all good now."

As we continue our trek up to Gryffindor tower, we fill Peter in with all that happened on the train and at dinner. He's astounded like the rest of us when we tell him James got Head Boy, claiming that he would be the last person he would choose for that position. This caused the three of us to experience a laughing fit so violent, we all doubled over in stitches before reaching the Fat Lady, where indeed, a new prefect is stationed.

"Mason," Remus says, nodding his head at the fifteen year old. "Everything going okay?"

"Yes, sir," he says, standing a little straighter as we pass.

"You know him?" Sirius questions once we're safely inside.

"Yeah, he's one of the new prefects," Remus explains. At that moment, Sirius suddenly ushers us over to the fire then goes and brings a chair to stand on in front of the entrance to the dormitories.

"Welcome all!" he exclaims. "You think you're going to bed right away? Well, you're wrong. It's time for the third annual Welcoming Party!"

Some people in the crowd whoop after this statement, others roll their eyes and complain to their friends about wanting to get to bed. Many bright-eyed first years break into a huge smile and look excited at the prospect of their first party. After a few minutes of waiting for the common room to fill up with Gryffindors, Sirius stands up to make the official announcement.

"All right, is this everybody?" he says, looking out over the sea of heads below him. "Excellent. Well, you veterans know how these parties usually go. New comers, don't say we didn't warn you."

As he finishes his last sentence, the portrait hole opens and James and Lily scurry in, finding a place to stand along the back wall.

"If you are not willing to participate in the festivities, please take the walk of shame and go to bed. We don't need downers here tonight," he says, jumping off his chair and pulling it aside. "Come on, I'm serious. And I'm also Sirius."

This produces a few chuckles from the crowd as a dozen people huff and stalk past him up the stairs to the dormitories. He certainly makes it a 'walk of shame,' causing them all to blush and become embarrassed as the crowd sarcastically claps for them.

"All right, now that we have that out of the way, let the festivities commence!"

He runs over and turns on the radio as some boys who are usual party-goers push the furniture out of the way to create a make-shift dance floor. People flood it, already swaying in time to the music, ready to have a good time. Remus smiles embarrassedly over at me, offering his hand. I take it and let him lead me onto the crowded dance floor. Dancing with him is like a riding a bike; you never forget how to do it and how it feels. We turn into one person when we start dancing, each knowing what the other is going to do before they do. His heartbeat, his warmth, his soft kisses. It's as if we were never apart for two months, and immediately pick back up from where we left off in June.

"Future Mrs. Lupin," he croons in my ear as the fourth song comes to an end. "Are you having a good time?"

"More than," I admit, smiling and blushing up at him. He leans down and kisses me, my heartbeat racing even faster. "You?"

"Of course," he replies, dipping me so low I almost touch the floor. "I always have a good time when I'm with you."

I giggle as he pulls me back up so tight against his body I feel as if we'll never be separated, his warm, strong arms wrapped around my waist.

"I love you," he mutters, kissing my forehead.

"Love you more," I insist, closing my eyes in pure bliss.

"Impossible."

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Several hours later, the boys and I climb the stairs, exhausted and ready for a good night's sleep. After bidding them goodnight, I turn and take the girl's staircase, traveling down the hallway all the way to the last door marked _7__th__ Year Girls._ I push it open and find Lily, Lydia, and May already inside, unpacking their trunks and carrying on a conversation.

"Tonks!" Lily exclaims, rushing over to me, the biggest smile plastered on her gorgeous, pale face. "How've you been?!"

"Great, how about you?" I ask as we pull apart.

"Perfect," she blushes as Lydia comes over for a hug.

"And you, Lydia," I say as I give her a hug. "I've missed you both so much!"

"We've missed you, too!" Lydia exclaims, beaming.

"Um, Tonks?" I hear a voice. We all whip around to see May standing awkwardly at the foot of her bed, looking over at us with a nervous expression. "All of you, actually."

"Yeah?" I answer, knitting my eyebrows together.

"I just wanted to say I'm sorry for anything I've ever done to you," she says, eyes looking fixedly on the floor, twiddling her thumbs. "I know I've been a horrible person to you in the past, and I just wanted to try to have a clean slate this year, no hard feelings?"

I take a moment to answer, considering her shaking form. She finally looks up and we meet eyes, her pale brown ones filled with anxiety.

"Of course," I say, and she lets out a massive breath, relaxing. "No hard feelings."

"Thank you, so so much," she says, beaming. "I was really worried about asking."

"You're welcome," I reply, cracking a smile. With that, we all break and turn to our own trunks to begin the daunting task of unpacking. Although this year brings such hope and excitement, the past comes barreling right back into my thoughts; for try as I might, I can't ignore the fifth empty bed in the corner.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

Hey guys! I'm busting my ass to get these chapters up for you, but my reviews have been really down lately! I know it's because I took a hiatus, but if you faithful, lovely people could help me get some of my reviewers back, that would be so amazing! I just need some loving, okay? ^.^

I hope you're all lovely! I love you so much! :*

Have a great night and PLEASE leave a review!

~AnM

xoxo


	88. Chapter 87

"_Love is like a flower - you've got to let it grow."- John Lennon_

XXXXXXXXXXXX_*Remus's POV*_

I'm awoken on the morning of September 2nd like any other morning at Hogwarts. First by James and Sirius bickering over who is going to turn off the alarm, then by me eventually getting up and solving their quarrel by turning it off myself. Sirius slumps backwards onto his pillows, his white t-shirt riding up his stomach.

"Oi, put it away," I mutter jokingly, walking back over to take a seat on my bed.

"What're you complaining about?" he says roughly, yawning and stretching. "I usually sleep shirtless."

"Yeah, what the hell has been with you lately, Pads, I was so used to seeing your hot bod every night before I went to bed," James calls from his four-poster.

"Nothing," Sirius says, standing and pouring himself a glass of water uncomfortably.

"Is it your tat?" James asks slyly, standing and meeting him at the water jug.

"No, it's not my tat," Sirius rolls his eyes.

"Lies," I call, stripping my own shirt and pulling out a fresh uniform. "I smell bullshit!"

"I smell breakfast, I'm hungry," he says quickly, rushing to the door where James stands blocking him.

"You're not even dressed."

"So?" he questions, looking for a way around James. "Minnie can't yell at me for eating in my pajamas."

"I think you're too scared to show us your tattoo," James says. Sirius's face flinches, then returns to normal before answering.

"It's not that," he turns and walks away, keeping his back to us.

"What is it then?" I ask, standing hesitantly next to James. It's silent for a good, awkward minute before Sirius speaks again.

"It still hurts," he says, completely motionless. "I know I seem back to normal now, but I'm anything but."

With that, he storms off into the bathroom, slamming the door so loudly that I flinch. The three of us stand awkwardly for a few more seconds before I break the ice and finish getting ready in silence. Sirius emerges ten minutes later, eyes red and puffy. I sigh, watching him button his robes and noticing the struggle of the movement. I'm sure I'm the only one who sees this, for James is too busy checking himself out in the mirror and Peter is scrambling around looking for the essay Professor Slughorn assigned over summer break. I turn my attention back to Sirius before he stands and ruffles his hair in the mirror, not even taking the time to style it like he usually would.

"Are we ready?" he asks stiffly, the first words that have been spoken since he stormed out.

"Where in the hell is my bloody essay?!" Peter exclaims in frustration.

"Has it ever occurred to you to accio it?" Sirius mutters in annoyance.

"I'm not of age, Sirius," Peter rolls his eyes. "And you're not allowed to do-"

"Do you think that's ever stopped us before?" Sirius interjects.

"Well… no, but-"

"Remus, just accio it for him, you're of age," Sirius grumbles, pushing past me and out the door. "Since it matters so much to him." I stumble, regaining my footing by grabbing the post of my bed.

"Someone's being a princess this morning," James says snidely.

"I think your comment about the tattoo set him off," I say, sliding my wand out of my pocket and flicking it wordlessly as James begins to speak again.

"How did that set him off?!" he exclaims. I glance over at Peter, who gives a celebratory whoop as his essay floats out from the depths of his trunk. "I didn't say anything about his daughter, I only said-"

"Yes, but the tattoo is in memory of his daughter, you nitwit," I say, rolling my eyes. "I think he's still in a very fragile state. Obviously, anything can set him off. We'll just have to be careful."

"Oh, alright," James agrees, turning away to lace his shoes. "But I still don't think it's right of him to-"

"Oh, James Alexander Potter," I mutter, running my hand down my face and taking a deep breath. "Just let it go, okay?"

"Okay…" he agrees begrudgingly, standing. "Are we ready?"

"As read as I'll ever be," I respond. "Let's go, Tonks is probably waiting."

"Of course," James chuckles, grabbing his bag.

"Shut it, Lily will probably be with her," I reply, poking fun at him.

"Do you think so?" he asks hopefully as we make our way out of the dorm and down the spiral stairs.

"I know so," I say wisely as we reach the landing. James glances down over the common room before his eyes land on Tonks, Lily, Lydia, and May all standing in a group in front of the fireplace.

"Hey, you were right!" he exclaims, face blushing deep red.

"Aren't I always?" I reply, chuckling. Ecstatic, James leads us down the stairs and over to the group of girls by the hearth.

"Morning, ladies," he says charmingly, his eyes only on Lily. I follow, walking over to Tonks and wrapping my arms around her from behind, placing a soft kiss on her cheek.

"Good morning, love."

"Wotcher," she replies, turning around and planting a big smooch on my lips. I blush. "We just saw Sirius storm out of here. What's up his ass this morning?"

I don't respond, but give her a look and she immediately knows what I'm hinting at.

"Oh…"

"What is it?" Lily interrupts, eavesdropping on our conversation.

"Oh, it's nothing, Lils," she lies, turning around and putting on a smile. "Just Sirius being Sirius."

"If you say so," she responds, turning away to bid James good morning.

"That was close," she mutters through her teeth as she turns her attention back to me.

"Very," I agree, pulling her into my embrace, her cheek up against my scratchy school uniform. "I missed being able to do this."

"What?" she asks, peeking her head up at me.

"Being able to hold you and wish you good morning every day," I reply, smiling down at her. I lean down to kiss her forehead as the group collectively decides to head down to breakfast. Our expectations are shot when we don't see Sirius waiting for us for in the Great Hall, or in Transfiguration. As the day progresses, we realize he's been absent from lunch and every class. When we reconvene for dinner, James finally brings up the topic.

"So no one has seen Sirius today?"

Nobody answers for a good thirty seconds, a cold silence falling upon the seven of us. I chew my chicken slowly, wanting my mouth to be full so I don't have to answer. Suddenly, Tonks speaks up from my left.

"No, I don't think so."

"Where could he have run off to?" Lily asks, looking to James for answer. He just shrugs, shoveling more potatoes into his mouth. Nobody will admit it, but we're all a little worried about our dear friend, Padfoot. After dinner, we all solemnly walk back up the Common Room, James and Lily leaving to complete their duties as Head Boy and Girl. After Lydia and May decide to head up to bed early, and Peter having to go to a scheduled meeting with McGonagall about tutoring for this year, Tonks and I are left alone in front of the fire, already bogged down with homework on the first day.

"Must they do this already?" she grumbles, flipping a page of her Potions textbook. "I know we're in N.E.W.T. level classes, but honestly…"

I don't respond, writing the last sentence in a paragraph Slughorn assigned for the night about dragon livers and their use in sleeping potions. When she notices my silence, she sets down her quill and watches me for a moment before speaking again.

"You're worried about him, aren't you."

"Aren't we all?" I reply, setting down my own quill and sitting up to meet her eye.

"But it's really bothering you, isn't it?" she says, placing her hand on my knee in a comforting way. I sigh, running my fingers through my hair.

"I just know that something _that_ traumatic can make a person do unbelievable things," I explain, not wanting to admit what I was saying.

"What do you mean, _you know_?" she asks, and I can see her cocking an eyebrow in my peripheral vision.

"I've done it," I say, turning to see her pale face scrunch up in confusion. "Tearing apart the dormitory last year?"

She doesn't respond immediately but sighs, laying her head on my shoulder.

"I understand."

"I don't know if he would've done something _that_ extreme, but… you never know," I say, fingering a lock of her purple hair. "He's probably locked himself up in a broom cupboard somewhere."

"You're probably right," she replies, sitting up and throwing herself down on her back with a long sigh, staring up at the ceiling. "Hopefully he'll come round tomorrow."

XXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Sirius's POV* *Earlier that day*_

I storm out of the dorm, my bag swinging madly on my shoulder. I huff down the stairs and into the Common Room, bypassing the other students and ignoring their stares and whispers. I can't even begin to process what just occurred upstairs, but all I know at the current moment is that hatred, and anger, and pain is coursing through my veins like poison. I could take a knife to someone's throat, I could stomp all over a dying baby animal, I could do so many unbelievable things in my current state, and it's scaring the living hell out of me. I didn't know loosing my daughter could have such an impact on my mental state like it has, and I just want to be alone. I feel terrible for snapping at Peter and Remus, but I'll have to apologize later. I can't just go back up there now. With my hands curled into fists of fury, I press on.

After bursting through the portrait of the Fat Lady and making my way down several flights of stairs, I reach the Entrance Hall, empty for it's too early for anyone to be down here. As I make my way across the big, open space from the marble staircase to the front doors, I hear something thump onto the cold, stone floor behind me, and immediately decide it's nothing of my concern since my ultimate goal is to get the hell out of this castle. I have no intention of stopping until I hear a voice.

"Hey! You dropped something!"

I whip around, ready to murder anyone who dares to speak to me, but immediately stop my rampage when I recognize the face of the speaker. I take deep breaths as Marlene McKinnon stoops down to pick up a book several feet behind me and walks over with it in her outstretched hand.

"This fell out of your bag," she says, handing it me. Puzzled, I take it, stuffing it back into its proper place.

"Thanks," I murmur, not able to tear my eyes from her bright, smiling face. I shake my head, befuddled as to why this was happening to me. As I turn to walk away, she catches my attention again.

"Hey, are you okay?"

I stop, my breathing slow and even as I turn around to see her standing several feet away, watching me with her hands now behind her back. Her brown eyes sparkle in the morning sun, a hint of knowing glinting in them.

"I'm fine," I say, staying where I am, not daring to get any closer.

"You just seem… upset," she says, sighing and letting her arms fall to her sides. "I was just making sure."

"Thanks," I mutter again, my feet taking a few steps toward her before my brain knows what they're doing. "For the book… and…"

"Don't mention it," she says, flippantly waving me off. "Have a good day!"

With that, she turns and heads into the Great Hall with a spring in her step, her long brown hair flowing behind her. I shake my head again, my brain trying to process what just occurred. Before I can think too much about it, I turn back around and head out the Oak Front Doors as fast as I can, not daring to look back.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

Hey guys! I'm not entirely sure why I wrote this chapter, but hey, I did! :D

Hope you all are well! Trying so hard to get chapters up for you guys! I actually posted this one right before my meltdown, but then I took it off, and now it's been edited… and yeah! I think it's much better! So yeah, I'm back y'all! :D I'm still so sorry for what happened, but I hope this makes up for it! I love you all so much!

Also, if you really want to be awesome, go check out my new Criminal Minds story "A Fresh Start." It deals with Reid, if you were wondering! I've been on a MAJOR Criminal Minds kick lately, like it's been bad. :'D Anyways, go give that some love!

Have a lovely night, and PLEASE REVIEW! :*

~AnM

xoxo


	89. Chapter 88

_"Love is our true destiny. We do not find the meaning of life by ourselves alone. We find it with another." -Thomas Merton_

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Tonks's POV*_

We do not find out until the next day where Sirius had run off to. We learn that he had taken to the Forbidden Forrest in search of refuge, transforming into his animagus as a source of comfort. He reappeared the next morning at breakfast with bags under his eyes and a shallow cut on his face here and there. He didn't seem willing to talk, and kept his head down for most of the meal.

Months pass, and these wounds start to heal. Him running off seemed to be a one-time deal, for he never did it again. Slowly, day after day, week after week, he adjusted to life at school once again, with peeping eyes and nosey questions all around him. He received many questions about Scarlet's death, but none concerning his daughter. He voiced that that was a small relief to him one chilly night in late October.

"If people would begin to question her… I don't know how I would respond," he admits, accidentally knocking his ink all over his essay for N.E.W.T. Potions. He sighs, producing his wand and cleaning up the mess.

"I wouldn't either," James admits, lazily flicking his wand and watching his stack of books levitate from the table to the ground, over and over.

"It seems they forgot about it," Sirius mutters, looking around to make sure no one was eavesdropping. "It was published in the _Prophet_ after all."

"They probably didn't think much of it," I say, sitting up from where I was lounging on Remus's shoulder. "And they wouldn't know to look to you, anyway. I know this is terrible, but she _was_ a slag… it could've been a number of people's baby, and you two never went public about it."

He takes this into consideration, nodding slowly in agreement. The conversation drops there, and from then on, he seems more relaxed about the subject of people finding out.

October blends into November, and November into December with little change other than the weather. This year seems to have turned out a nasty winter, the grounds blanked in feet of snow a few weeks before Christmas. This seems to give teachers the impression that we have more free time, and thus, more time for homework.

"Remember when we thought we had it bad in first year?" James mutters cynically one evening.

To top off this _wonderful_ new development in our lives, Peeves seems to have found a new hobby. Because of our incessant amount of homework, we constantly travel back and forth from the library, and this gave the poltergeist an excuse to become more familiar with me and my friends, especially my boyfriend.

"Looney, loopy Lupin! Looney, loopy Lupin!" he would cackle, soaring down the corridors and throwing stale bread from the kitchens at him. "Loopy Lupin, I see what you do at night! But where do you run off to, Loopy? Where, _where, _WHERE?!"

He usually finished this routine with a raspberry to the face, and a curse in the back from me, to which he would scream and fly off down the opposite corridor. It was really quite a hassle to make sure other students didn't hear what he was taunting, and even harder to make sure they didn't know what he was talking about.

Just as we thought we couldn't handle any more, Christmas break begins, and the castle's population thins out. As they had the past few years, parents called their children home for security, and I could estimate that at least ¾ of the school had gone home, leaving the four of us (Peter not included) the only 7th years in the entire school. Yes, just as anyone could have predicted, this year was a vital one for bloodiest wizarding war in history, or so Professor Flitwick told us.

On Christmas Eve, after the feast, the boys and I retreated to their dorm for the night, joking around, reflecting, just being ourselves. It didn't even cross my mind that something was off when James turned out the gas lamps and everyone laid down to get some sleep. I sit awake in the darkness for a few minutes, feeling Remus's warm body laid next to mine, his breathing making the mattress rise and fall in the most subtle way. Suddenly, as I was weighing my options, a warm, soft hand reaches up and pulls on my sleeve, coaxing me down into the most relaxing sleep I've had in a while. Christmas morning begins for us when we hear a tapping on the window.

"James Potter," Sirius mutters, and I hear the squeaking of his bed, so I can assume he's getting up. "It's your damn owl that's woken us this early.""Actually, Pads," Remus calls, leaning up on his elbow to get a better look at Sirius in the bright morning light. "Your shouting woke me up."

I sit up next to him just in time to see Sirius make a very rude gesture in the direction of Remus. I chuckle, and he gives me a mock dirty look.

"It's a letter from your Mum," Sirius announces, tossing the envelope onto the foot of James's bed, and breaking off a bit of old muffin to toss to James's owl.

"Christmas greetings, I suppose," James muses, ripping open the envelope. "Yep."

The day progresses as any with the four of us would. After breakfast, we decide to have our final snowball fight out on the grounds, in the exact spot where we held it when we were first years. It was sentimental, bittersweet, and really made me reflect the past six and a half years of my life. I realized I wouldn't change one single thing to get to where I am today. Just as the fight is about to begin, James and Sirius pop up to get a good look at their opponents, and Remus and I do the same. Then, Sirius does something that momentarily delays the fight. Just as James is about to yell the countdown, he brings his index finger to his lips, kisses it, then raises it and his eyes to the sky.

"This one's for you, baby," he mutters to himself, thinking we hadn't noticed. But we had, and we all give each other very confused looks before brushing it off, and continuing the fight.

After that day, we notice he's begun to pick up the habit, kissing his index finger and brining it to the sky before doing something, something usually involving skill. As we begin our first attempts at apparition, he does this constantly, as if it was bringing him good luck.

But this wasn't the only new habit Sirius Black had picked up on. The observation had been made my James, and voiced to me, Remus, and Peter one night in the common room while Sirius was out. James claimed he was up to something, and he thought he knew what.

"What do you mean, 'up to something?'" Remus asks, quirking an eyebrow at James's odd conviction.

"Haven't you noticed him absent from the common room a bit more than usual?" he says, an evil glint in his eye. "Sneaking around, talking to someone he wouldn't usually be talking to?"

"Not really…" Remus admits, still looking utterly confused.

"Come on, Moony, he's been hanging around a lot of Ravenclaws lately!" James explains in a rushed whisper, obviously excited. Nobody answers for a minute, letting this sink in.

"You don't mean-"

"I think I do," James finishes, bearing a self-satisfied grin as realization washes over Remus's face.

"I don't get it," I voice, and all heads snap to me.

"Me either," Peter admits, shrugging.

"You, Peter, I'm not surprised about," James waves him off and turns to me. "But you, Tonks? Isn't it obvious?"

"No, what does Ravenclaw have to do with anything?"

"Do I have to spell it out for you?" he says sarcastically.

"Obviously," I respond, a bit of bite in my tone. James takes a few seconds to answer, looking around to make sure no one was eavesdropping.

"I think he's after Marlene McKinnon."

I don't respond, confusedly staring back at him.

"Sirius Black? After _that_ nut-case?" I mutter incredulously. "No way."

"She's really grown up, Tonksie."

"But all I can remember about her is how crazy you guys used to make her sound!" I exclaim. "I even experienced her! In 3rd year, remember, she was your date to the ball!"

"I don't like to remember that," James mumbles, blushing.

"Exactly," I make my point. "You guys still don't like her."

"Well, obviously Pads does," Remus muses. "I don't disapprove."

"You don't think she's off her rocker?"

"No," Remus responds reasonably. "I don't. As James said, she's matured."

"Okay then," I sigh. "But don't you think he would've told you guys about it? Don't you tell each other everything?"

"Not necessarily," Remus makes a face and turns to James, who blushes.

"What?"

"You don't tell us much about Lily, do you Jamesie?" Remus calls him out, wearing a mischievous and self-satisfied smirk.

"What is there to tell?" he replies nervously, wringing his hands.

"Oh, stop with the bullshit," Remus laughs. "We all know you two are together."

"Yeah, that's been established," James mutters, glancing nervously at Remus. "I told you guys back in October that we'd begun a relationship."

"But what since then?"

"What is this, 'hound James with questions about his personal life time?'"

"Hey, you guys got mine out of me," Remus retorts, throwing me a glance when I huff.

"What do you want to know?" James blurts, finally letting his guard down.

"Nothing," Remus admits. "I just _love_ seeing you all flustered."

James rolls his eyes.

"Plus, now I _know_ there's something going on between you two. I'd been speculating, but now I know."

"Good job, Holmes. I. Told. You. That. We. Were. Boy. Friend. And. Girl. Friend. _In October_."

"I know that," Remus huffs. "I meant I speculated something beyond… first base."

James doesn't answer, but looks very uncomfortable.

"We-"

"I'd rather not be here for this conversation," I interject, trying to keep my fit of giggles in. I stand up from the couch, tossing my neon blue braids over my shoulder. After kissing Remus goodnight, I continue. "I don't want my mental image of James and Lily to be marred by anything like that. Goodnight."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Several days after the initial speculation, this theory of Sirius being with Marlene is brought up again. It's mid-March, and N.E.W.T.s are approaching fast, so it isn't out of the ordinary to find me, the boys, Lily, and Lydia all crammed around the coffee table in front of the fire trying to get some work done. As we work, I notice James continuously looking up at Sirius, the wheels in his mind whirring, but not at all because of school work. Before I know exactly what's going on, a piece of parchment is slid onto the book Remus and I are sharing.

_What do you think is up with him? _James had written, the ink still glistening.

Remus makes a face at me, then turns to James and shrugs. James sighs, running his fingers through his hair as Lily picks up on our silent conversation. After another period of silence, James takes action.

"Hey Pads, you okay?"

"What?" Sirius responds, obviously drawn from some thoughts. "Yeah, fine."

"You know, it's been a while since you've been on the dating scene, mate," James coaxes, his voice smooth and charming. His plan is suddenly evident to me. "That seems like a fit group of girls over there,-"

He receives a playful slap on the arm from Lily.

"-why not go and try to talk to one? You're on the Quidditch Team, you're a Marauder. I'm sure they know who you are, and would be more than happy to have a chat."

Sirius doesn't respond, but continues to stare blankly at the girls across the room.

"I don't want to."

This shocks everyone into silence.

"_Sirius Black _doesn't want to go hit on a girl?" Remus voices, incredulous.

"No," he responds simply. "I think I'm good. Thanks for the suggestion, mates."

Without another word, he turns back to his essay, leaving the rest of us in complete and utter shock.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Hey guys!

Yay, another chappie! :D Hope you liked it! I know some of you won't be pleased that I skipped over so much of 7th year, but I think if I would've gone into more detail, it would've been superfluous and dragged, and that's what I'm trying to avoid! So, anyways, I hoped you liked it! (:

By the way, I changed the name of my Criminal Minds fic (now called "It's The Kid's Turn) because there were literally dozens of fics with the name "A Fresh Start." So I changed it! Please go check that out, that would be aweeeeesome-possum. :*

Did I mention it's summer for me? (: Going on a frozen yogurt run tomorrow with my friends! Yum! Well, I'm probably going to go watch Criminal Minds now (go figure).

Please leave a review! :D

~AnM XD


	90. Chapter 89

"_Real integrity is doing the right thing, knowing that nobody's going to know whether you did it or not."-Oprah Winfrey_

XXXXXXXXXXXX

_*James's POV*_

My theory about Sirius and Marlene proves itself one evening in April. And, let me tell you, it has never felt sweeter to be right.

Lily and I had run off from the common room to escape studying for N.E.W.T.s, and to… have a little alone time, you could say. After being given skeptical looks by Remus and Tonks, the forty year-old couple whose time with being reckless is long over, we take off, hand in hand, down the corridor. It's around eight o'clock that evening, so the halls are practically deserted. We run, yelling and joking around as we wait to reach our destination: a broom cupboard that is one of my favorite haunts.

Just as we approach, we slow our pace, and Lily turns and pins to me to the wall, my arms above my head. The only light in this dimly lit stretch of corridor is from the moon out a nearby window, giving the scene a mysterious atmosphere. She starts the festivities a little early, not even waiting a few more seconds to open the door and get safely inside. The rest of the world disappears to me, and all I can focus on is her lips working mine. Somehow, my conscious also tells me that she undid my tie and is in the process of slowly undoing my button-down.

"Lils," I suddenly mutter against her lips, breathless. "Come on, it's more private in there."

"Whatever you say, Captain," she purrs, the last part a nickname she's been into calling me lately, since we won the House Cup. She drags me by my loosened tie, sweat already starting to form on my forehead. I'm like a lost puppy, and she's a good Samaritan offering me food and a place to stay. Although, even more pathetically, it isn't food and shelter she is offering.

We reach the cupboard, and she turns around to give me another kiss before opening the door behind her back. We hear the click of the knob, a creak as the door swings open, and a sudden exclamation of shock. We both whip around, and see two figures untangling themselves from each other in the dark. Blood rushes to my cheeks as I realize what we've walked in on.

"What in the bloody hell do you think you're doing?!" he yells, coming forward out of the darkness, his button-down completely undid. She follows, hastily redoing the fastenings on her robes.

"Sirius, what in the bloody hell are _you_ doing?" I reply, trying not to release the fit of giggles I have cooped up inside of me. "Is that _Marlene_?"

"Yes, it's Marlene," he sighs, leaning on the doorframe. His face is red and sweaty.

"Oh-kay," I reply, awkwardly sighing. "Looks like this spot is taken, Lils. We'll go find another."

With that, I grab Lily's hand and drag her down the opposite end of the hall, still utterly embarrassed about what just occurred. I can feel both of their eyes on our retreating forms. Before I can round the corner, I hear him call, "I'm watching you, Potter!"

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

The next morning is very awkward indeed. After the alarm goes off to signal the start of the day, the only people talking are Remus and Peter. They chatter on, obviously unaware of the situation going on between me and Sirius. We throw side-long glances at each other occasionally, sometimes catching the other's eye. Just as we are about to leave, Remus finally notices that something is up.

"Wait, hold on," he says, stepping in front of me to block my way to the door. "What's wrong, Prongs?"

"It's nothing, Remus," I reply nonchalantly, trying to get around him, but he's adamant.

"No, I definitely know something is wrong," he argues, glancing over my shoulder unquestionably at Sirius. "What's up your ass, Padfoot?"

"It would be better if you kept your nose out of it, Moony," he replies behind my back.

"Ooh, did I miss a fight or something?" he says in an undertone excitedly. No one responds. "Come on, guys. We're all best friends here. We tell each other everything."

"James walked in on something he shouldn't have," Sirius suddenly admits, and I blush. It's Remus's turn not to respond.

"I'm sorry, mate, okay? You know I didn't mean to," I say, turning around to face him. He looks annoyed, but not angry or bitter. "It was a mistake."

"I know that," he replies, and walks around the end of his bed to get face-to-face with me. "But I would've preferred it if we could've kept this quiet."

"Why not flaunt this relationship, Pads? It's obviously healthier than the last one," I argue. "By the way, Moony, I was right."

"Marlene?" he questions.

"Yes, Marlene," Sirius sighs before I can respond. "And I dunno, Prongs. I guess I just don't feel comfortable with displaying my feelings like that."

"Understandable," Remus says.

"But she's a good girl, mate. Don't you want to show that off?" I argue, trying to make him see the good in this. When he doesn't respond, I press on. "How long has this been going on?"

"Since November," he replies, fiddling with the strap on his bag.

"And it's been going well?"

"Extremely," he admits, finally letting some walls down. "She's made me… a better person. She's helped my wounds finally heal. She knows me, and knows how handle me, even though I'm a lot to handle."

"She knows?" Remus interjects.

"I told her a few months ago," Sirius admits, sighing and bringing his hand to the back of his neck nervously. "Look, it's only because I was having a bad day… I needed to vent to someone. She was the only one available, and we had enough trust in each other at that point that I felt I could tell her… She's also seen the tattoo."

"Why didn't you tell us, mate?" I ask, hesitantly taking a step forward.

"I told you, I don't know," he replies, finally looking up to meet us in the eye. "I guess I'm just scared of loosing her, and if I make it public, our relationship is concrete."

"That's ridiculous, mate," I chuckle.

"I know," he admits. "I just couldn't even begin to deal with another loss."

The dormitory falls silent, the only sound coming from the wind rattling the windows.

"I'm in love with her."

No one expects this, and we all stand in silent shock for a good thirty seconds.

"See, Pads, this is good!" I exclaim, slapping him playfully on the shoulder in a celebratory way. "It's good to see you finally moving on."

"Thanks, Jamesie," he replies, chuckling. "I guess I'll have to let her know it's okay to tell her friends."

"Ooh, that'll be a fun one," I reply, leading the way out of the dormitory and down the spiral steps.

"Just think of how many hearts you're going to break," Remus pipes up, chuckling. "Sirius Black is no longer single."

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

News of Sirius and Marlene dating spreads like a wildfire through the castle, almost faster than it did when Remus and Tonks started their relationship. Like Remus said, he did indeed break a lot of girl's hearts. He got slapped in the face on more than one occasion by what appeared to be a random girl feeling scorned by his established relationship. It was a source of the Marauder's and Tonks's entertainment for weeks.

In May, the hoopla finally dies down as N.E.W.T.s loom around the corner. Teachers buckle down their students, piling on more work than seemed necessary. If you think about it, they had seven years to prepare us for this, so why were they suddenly throwing all of this at us last minute?

If we were to learn one thing from this short period in our lives, it is that one reckless decision can result in a life-changing event. Even as the years passed, Sirius tried desperately to forget about this night, but it is forever engrained in his brain as one of his lowest moments.

It is the night of the full moon. Several hours before the moon rose, Sirius had slipped away to visit Marlene, leaving me and Peter to deal with a worried-sick Tonks who wouldn't calm down. Even after all these years, a full moon still brought her nothing but discomfort. It was for this reason that the Marauders had decided not to join Remus this night, for Tonks honestly needed us more. Why she was so worked up, we didn't and would never know, but this simple decision turned out to be a lifesaver.

"Padfoot, where have you been?" I exclaim as my friend enters the common room five hours after he had left, a sly grin on his face and a spring in his step.

"Out," he says, brimming with joy. "Blowing off some steam."

"With Marlene?" I question, already knowing the answer.

"Well I was… then I, uh-" he pauses, smirking. "-ran into someone."

"Who?"

"Who has always been the object of our mischief?" he replies in a quizzical way, and I have to rack my brains to get an answer.

"Snivellus?" I guess, and he nods vigorously. "Pads, I haven't talked to him in years."

"I know that's why this is so brilliant!" Sirius exclaims, practically jumping in anticipation.

"What did you do, Pads?" I ask, already dreading the answer. He bites his lip before answering in an undertone.

"Well, I caught the slime ball following Remus and Madam Pomfrey out to the Willow. So, I stopped him and questioned where he was going. He replied very nastily that he was going to find out once and for all where Remus went every month. I told him it was none of his business. He ignored me, and continued to the front doors. Then, a brilliant idea came to me. The mother of all pranks, the prank to end all pranks!"

"Go on."

"So, I called him back over. He was very rude, he was, all grumbling about being disturbed by an imbecile like me. So, I gave him a little insider information, if you know what I mean."

I feel my jaw drop, and my heart fill with horror as I realize what he has done.

"Sirius Black, you did not-"

"Oh, but I did!" he responds, cracking up at himself. "Isn't it brilliant, James?! He'll just happen to stumble upon a full-grown werewolf, the little git. It'll show him not to pry his long, greasy nose into other people's business, won't it?"

Without answering, I jump off the couch and run through the portrait hole, Sirius confusedly yelling behind me. I fly down the corridor and several staircases in the direction of the font doors, my mind still trying to process what horrible thing Sirius had done. Had he not realized that his was murder?

"James! Wait up! Where are you going?!"

I don't reply, finally reaching the Oak Front Doors and pulling them open without a care that someone will notice. He still stumbles after me, begging me to slow down and explain myself. My feet hit the lawn at an alarming rate, the grass dewy and slippery, causing me to slip and stumble a few times. When I reach the Willow, the full moon has already risen and Remus was unquestionably in his wolf-form.

"JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMES!"

I pick up the branch and hit the knot at the base, the tree freezing as if it had been suddenly transported to the artic. I hastily slip down the tunnel and start crawling as fast as I can down the low tunnel, my once small enough body too big to even stand. I crawl on all fours, still hearing Sirius right behind me. When he enters the tunnel though, he stops his shouting and silently follows, as if trying not to wake a sleeping dragon.

When the tunnel starts to slightly slope upward, he catches up to me, his breath hot on my neck. As the end of the tunnel comes into view, my worst nightmare comes true. I see Severus crouched at the door, peering through a crack at the room beyond. Just as I get close enough, he goes to push the door open.

"No!" I whisper-yell, lunging forward and closing the door with a snap. I turn and see pure hatred in the boy's eyes, fury stemming from deep within him. "You, come with me if you want to live."

I turn and hastily make to evacuate the tunnel, feeling two people silently following my lead. Not a word is said until we make it safely out of the tunnel and out of the reach of the Willow. And when we do reach this place of security, the words that are said are not comforting ones.

"Aha!" Severus yells, his face absolutely glowing with delight. "I've finally caught you, you scum! You'll all be _expelled_. Consorting with a _werewolf,_-"

He spits at the ground.

"-I didn't think you could sink any lower."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Hello, lovelies! I'm quite tired, so I don't have much to say other than I hope you liked the chapter, AND TO PLEASE REVIEW. :*

~AnM XD


	91. Chapter 90

"_Everyone thinks you make mistakes when you're young. But I don't think we make any fewer when we're grown up."-Jodi Picoult _

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Tonks's POV*_

After several minutes lost in my solitude, I sit up and wipe my eyes, blearily glancing around. I'm suddenly aware that I'm alone, James and Sirius not anywhere in sight. I stand, my heart rate speeding up in anxiety. I cross my arms, my eyes hungrily searching the common room for any sign of them. None.

"What's wrong, Tonks?" someone calls from behind. I jump, startled, and whip around to see Peter standing by the coffee table, a stack of books in hand.

"Peter," I breathe. "You scared me."

"I'm sorry," he blushes. "You seemed upset."

"Where are James and Sirius?"

"I thought they were with you?" he replies confusedly.

"So did I," I admit, realization washing over me. Something was wrong. "What if something's wrong with Remus?"

"What?" Peter exclaims, even more confused than before. "What do you mean? They probably just went to get something to eat… or something."

I choose to disregard this comment and take off, out the portrait hole and down the corridor at a quick pace, Peter stumbling behind.

"Peter, you know how sometimes you can just tell that someone's in trouble?"

"No," he replies, wary of this question. "What do you mean?"

"Never mind," I rolls my eyes. "I can… feel that something's wrong."

"Feel?" he huffs, nearly falling flat on his face as I make a sharp turn to use a staircase hidden behind a tapestry.

"Yes," I insist, peaking out from behind the thick fabric to make sure no one was there before sweeping it aside and continuing. By this time, Peter is too breathless to argue.

We reach the Entrance Hall, seemingly deserted by this time of night. I jump behind a statue to conceal us, just in case Filch decides to slink by, his baggy eyes peering around for any sign of disruption. Peter's heavy breathing behind me puts me on edge.

"Can you keep it down for just a fraction of a second while I think?" I hiss over my shoulder.

"Sorry!"

I glance around, biting my lip and deciding that the coast was clear. I motion for Peter to follow, and start to silently cross the cold, stone floor spanning the space between the statue and the Oak Front Doors.

"Miss Tonks! Mister Pettigrew! Whatever do you think you're doing?"

My breath catches in my throat, my heart stopping completely for a fraction of a second. I grit my teeth and slowly turn around to see Professor McGonagall standing at the top of the marble staircase with a grim expression and a very thin set of lips. I sigh, caught in the act.

"Professor…" I breathe, shaking my head. "Professor, there's something not right. I can feel it."

"Not right about what?" she questions, making her way down the grandiose set of stairs. "What are you rambling on about?"

"It's Remus, Professor," I sigh, shakily raking my fingers through my bubblegum pink hair, my combat boot clad foot tapping nervously. "I know this sounds weird, but… I can tell when something is wrong."

She gives me an odd look, considering my claim. "If it would make you feel better, Miss Tonks, I will send someone out to check on him."

"Yes, please!" I exclaim, relief settling in the pit of my stomach. As soon as I answer, McGonagall turns around and sends her cat patronus cantering up the stairs. Several silent, awkward minutes later, Hagrid appears, a lantern in hand, at the front door.

"Ye' needed me, Professor?" he asks, his boarhound panting at his hip.

"Yes, Hagrid. A word, please," she says as she follows him out into the night. We are left alone, the uneasy feeling still not completely gone. I sigh heavily, and take a seat on the bottom stair of the staircase, burying my head into my knees.

"He's going to be okay, Tonks," Peter says, obviously trying to comfort me.

"I hope so, Peter. I hope so."

XXXXXXXXXXXX

Barely a half an hour goes by before the front doors are swung open again, this time producing five figures instead of two.

"To the Headmaster's office, the lot of you," McGonagall says, a note sharpness in her voice. I whip my head up at the sound of this, my eyes landing on James, Sirius, and… Severus Snape? They all look very shaken up and quite angry, Snape keeping his distance from the other two.

"James! Sirius!" I exclaim, standing and bounding over to them. "Is he okay?!"

"Remus?" James answers, perturbed by my question. "_He's_ fine. It's this one that needs help." He jerks his thumb over his shoulder at Sirius.

"It was a mistake, James!"

"A mistake that almost got me killed!" Snape yells, turning around to start this screaming match from halfway up the marble staircase.

"You shouldn't have been sticking your nose where it didn't-"

"Shut it, Black! You're the ones who were being-"

"You can't blame this on us! We weren't doing anything wrong!"

"I seriously doubt that! Just wait to see how Professor-"

"Stop it! All of you, stop it!" McGonagall suddenly exclaims, sending up red sparks with her wand. "To Professor Dumbledore's office. NOW!"

I stand in shock, completely caught off guard by McGonagall's reaction. She follows them, urging them up each step and around the corner out of sight. After several moments, Hagrid speaks.

"Should probably ge' up to yer dorm," he says, nodding at me and Peter. "Go on."

After casting another wary glance at the front doors, I take this advice and start up the stairs, still not completely convinced that Remus was okay. I guess it was just one of those times where you had to put full faith and trust in your friends.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The boys don't return to the common room for another half hour, huffing and swearing under their breath as they do.

"There you are!" I exclaim, rolling my eyes and not bothering to stand as they heavily take a seat across from me. "What was all that about?"

Neither of them say anything, but glance at each other.

"No one's going to talk?" I ask curiously, eyeing them.

"I messed up," Sirius finally admits. I'm incredibly shocked by this, for Sirius wasn't one to admit that he was wrong. "I messed up big time."

At this, the two launch into their story. As each detail is revealed, I feel myself becoming more and more disgusted and shocked that Sirius would do something like that. When they've finished, I just sit, contemplating how I was going to respond.

"Wow," is all I can say.

"I know, I know," Sirius says, blowing out a lungful of air and grabbing his hair in this hands. "It was dumb of me."

"Yeah, it was," I admit. He gives me dirty look, and I chuckle. "I just don't want to see Remus when you break the news to him."

"Damn," Sirius mutters under his breath. "I forgot about that…"

"Should be fun," I say in mock optimism. "Let me know how it goes."

With that, I bid them goodnight and leave them to simmer with their problem. Now, they have plenty of time to figure out how they were going to break this to Remus.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

From what I heard, it didn't go well. Like I said, there was no way in hell that I was going to be anywhere near that conversation. James told me later that day that he completely flipped his lid and chewed Sirius up pretty bad. But, as all fights between the Marauders go, they quickly forgave each other and went back to be being good mates. Although, I think Sirius had definitely learned his lesson.

Several more weeks pass without incident, anticipation growing stronger every day for graduation. The only thing stunting this this joy was the fact that N.E.W.T.s were right on top of us, breathing down all of our necks and causing much discomfort. The night before eerily mirrors the memories of two years previous when we all were stressing over O.W.L.s.

"I'm just gonna drop out," James suddenly announces, breaking the silence that had fallen on our group a long time ago. The Marauders, Lily, Lydia, Marlene, and I were all seated around a large table in the library, trying to cram some last minute studying in. Peter had fallen asleep on his book about twenty minutes ago, and the rest of us were nearly there.

"And what do you plan to do with your life then?" I ask drowsily, leaning heavily on Remus's shoulder. James considers this for a moment, his mind obviously devising some wicked, brilliant plan.

"I'll become a male stripper."

All at once, the silence of the library is broken by the ravenous laughter of me and my friends. After receiving a slap on the arm from Lily and a warning from Madam Pince, James takes his comment back and drops his eyes into his textbook again.

"Although," he whispers, still looking engaged at his reading. "It wouldn't be such a bad life."

Lily slaps him again, and giggles.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

Finally. All I can say is finally. Finally, we are done with N.E.W.T.s. Finally, we are done with school. We're done. We've done it. It's over.

A mixture of bliss and sadness accompanies the last day of testing. As we leave the Great Hall, students throwing papers and being generally rowdy, I realize how bittersweet this moment is. We're going to be graduating in a few weeks time, and after that, we'll all be pursuing our own life. Remus and I will be married, and no doubt James and Lily will be, too. We're practically adults, even though it seems just like yesterday that we were children. I can still vividly remember moments from our first day as though they were yesterday.

"_Hey, we're almost there!"_

_I pointed out the window at the castle looming in the distance. It was gorgeous even in the darkness. It had too many towers to count, hundreds of lighted windows, and a beautiful black lake. It was surrounded by miles and miles of green forests. _

"_Isn't that the most beautiful thing you've ever seen?" I said, my face pressed against the glass of the train window, gazing up at it in awe._

"_It is," I heard a soft musical voice speak next me. I turned to my right and saw Remus looking up next to me. He was staring fixedly up at the castle with a look upon his face of pure joy. I couldn't help but smile. The light from the castle illuminated his face, making his scars very predominant. It was almost a pity._

"_Nymphadora Tonks."_

_A small laugh went through the entire student body. I was embarrassed. I hated my name, but I got up and sat down on the stool regardless. The hat was put down over my eyes and all I saw was blackness. _

"_Hmmm.. A good heart. Wants to do big things in the future. Very brave. Courageous," a voice in my ear said. I held my breath than heard : "GRYFFINDOR!" _

"_Welcome home," James said, walking around the circular room._

"_Your right," Sirius said. "This is home."_

Suddenly, tears form at the corners of my eyes and leak down my cheeks.

"What's the matter, love?" Remus asks, bringing me out of the walk down memory lane I was having.

"This is the end, isn't it?" I say simply, and he grimaces then nods.

"Yes, yes it is," he tightens his grip around my hand and gives me an encouraging smile.

"I honestly can't believe it," I say in total spite of myself.

"It's not just the end," he says, his amber eyes sparkling. "It's a beginning for us, too."

XXXXXXXXXXXX

The next morning begins… not well. After a refreshing, blissful sleep in the boy's dormitory, which I had become accustomed to sleeping in, we troop down to the common room for to meet Lily, Lydia, and May for breakfast, as we always did.

"Must have posted the date for the ball," Sirius notes, motioning to the flock of excited underclassmen swarming the notice board. We mosey over after the eccentric 3rd year girls have moved on.

"Is that what we looked like?" Sirius mutters, blatantly pointing at them.

"I hope not," I answer, wrenching his arm down.

"Last End of Year Ball… wow," James says, bending down to examine the flyer printed on the same paper as it was four years ago.

"Oh, no," Remus groans to my left. I cock an eyebrow, looking over curiously at him.

"What is it?"

He looks over at me, biting his lip and looking distressed. He motions me to follow him to a corner, and I can already feel the disappointment rising in me like a tide.

"Is it the… yanno?" I blurt out before he can even open his moth. He sighs and nods.

"Oh," is all I can say.

"I'm so sorry, Tonks. I'll make it up-"

"Remus, don't worry about it!" I say, chuckling at his reaction. "I understand."

"But it's your last ball, and I won't be able to go with you, and-"

"I just won't go."

"What?" he asks, incredulous.

"Remus, I'm not going without you," I say matter-of-factly. "If I can't go with you, I'm not going at all."

He makes a surprised face and shrugs. "That was easy."

"What did you expect? A river of tears?" I joke, and he smiles.

"Maybe," he answers slyly.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sorry this one took so long, you guys! I'm almost done with my summer camp YAAAY. Anyway, hope you liked it! Check out my Criminal Minds fic! :* PLEASE LEAVE A REVIEW.

~AnM


	92. Chapter 91

I have my dinner. I have my large ice water from McDonald's. I'm sitting outside in 90 degree weather by my pool. My imagination is at the ready. Now, I think I'm prepared to write the last chapter of part one. Kind of bittersweet, isn't it?

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"_Now this is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning."-Winston Churchill _

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_*Tonks's POV*_

Have you ever had one those naughty little thoughts appear at the back of your mind, one that you know you should never even dream of, yet it still appears? One that no matter how hard you try to suppress it, it still resurfaces and spikes your curiosity every time it does. Your morals tell this naughty little thought to _go away_ and _leave me be! _But, this terrible, ugly, horribly curious thought will not go away. It nags your conscious in the day, and your subconscious at night. After a while, your mind, a battle-worn cadet, gives in to the naughty little thought, and suddenly, you find yourself asking something you never thought you would.

_My_ naughty little thought appeared on a rainy day exactly one week before the ball. Lily, Lydia, May, and I had been getting together some final arrangements before graduation, and if I were to be honest, extremely bored. The boys had taken to entertain themselves in the mud by playing a mock game of Quidditch, a last hurrah before they would have to quit the sport entirely. Lily sat in the window, gazing down at the field with a forlorn expression, obviously thinking about her and James. May sat on her bed, dozens of pictures spread out before her. She was making an album to commemorate her Hogwarts years as a graduation present to herself, and was looking quite somber as she shifted through dozens of her and Scarlet. Lydia was taking the time to giver her bedside drawer a good cleaning. She was inspired to do this about an hour ago when she happened upon a necklace that her late father had given her on her first day of school ever. She told us she and her family had thought it had been lost until today.

I am too preoccupied with my naughty little thought to pay much attention to the other three girls in the room. I sit on my bed with my knees pulled up to my face, my chin resting on them. My eyes have a glazed look as I gaze off into nothingness, one side of me fighting the thought, and the other egging it on. It feel exactly as if I have a little devil and a little angel on each shoulder, both yelling at me and telling me what to do. The truth is, I have absolutely no idea what to do. This thought is so dangerous, with _so_ many potential consequences that a normal human being would immediately brush it off. But me, being the free spirited and creative person that I am, didn't immediately chuck it up to nothing. I thought about it, letting it marinate in my brain before making any kind of decision.

"What's on your mind, Tonks?" May asks, interrupting the internal battle between smart and reckless.

"I'm sorry, what?"

"You look like you're thinking really hard about something," she points out, grabbing the rest of the room's attention, all eyes on me. I swallow and put on a fake smile.

"It's nothing," I lie, and the whole room relaxes. "I was just thinking about… graduation. And, uh, how excited I am for it."

"Very well then," May responds, turning her attention back to her pictures and flipping over one of her and Scarlet from first year. I sigh, relaxing my legs and letting my head drop against my headboard. _That was close_.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Reckless finally wins two days later. I'm exhausted by all the thinking I'd been doing, and am very much looking forward to a nap day with Remus. The full moon is only five days away and his symptoms are already kicking in, leaving him exhausted and achy.

"You're sure you want to spend a boring afternoon with me?" he asks as we enter the boy's dorm. He smiles over his shoulder at me before pulling back the blankets and sheets on his bed. I wander over to the other side, smiling slyly.

"I wouldn't have it any other way," I say coyly as I slide in between the soft, wool blanket and the silky sheets. I rest my head on his pillow as he settles himself in, immediately grabbing me and pulling my head onto his bare chest. I breath in his scent and immediately become relaxed. My eyes flutter closed and I'm lulled to sleep by the rising and falling of his chest. We stay like this for what seems like a millisecond before, once again, the thought appears, and my eyes snap open. I sigh, knowing this was my chance to get it out of my system.

"Remus?" I whisper, and his breathing becomes irregular as he wakes up. He clears his throat before answering.

"What it is, love?"

"I'm sorry to wake you-"

"Don't be sorry."

I blush against his warm skin and prop up on one elbow to meet his eyes. His head is sunk into the silk pillow beneath it, and he looks comfortable for once. I grab his hand with my free one and play with his fingers before continuing, averting his eyes.

"I have a question for you."

"A question?" he muses, his amber eyes sparkling. "What kind of question?"

"A question I know I shouldn't be asking…" I say, a hint of guilt in my voice. He pauses before answering.

"Then why are you asking?" he simply replies, and I let a smile break over my face.

"Because I can't suppress it any longer," I explain, and finally glance up to meet his eyes for a fraction of a second before I lower them again. "I don't know if I want to ask it anymore."

"It's okay, love," he says quietly, his voice soft and reassuring. "You can ask me anything."

"But what if you get mad?"

"I can't get mad at you," he smiles, reaching out and lifting my chin to meet his gaze. "Now please, ask me."

I hold his stare for a moment, our eyes locked and unspoken things passing between us. I sigh heavily and readjust myself before starting my speech slowly.

"I had a thought the other day… And I know you probably won't like what I'm about to say, but please, just listen and see it from my point of view."

I take a deep breath.

"Imagine you're me. I'm just about to graduate Hogwarts and move on with my life to become and Auror, _and_ get married to the love of my life. The love of my life that also happens to be a werewolf."

He looks confused at this point.

"Wouldn't you be a little… unsure? You're going to have to live with your new husband for the rest of your lives together, yet you've never seen what goes on every month. It's a completely mysterious subject to you, and you have no idea about _anything_ that goes on behind closed doors."

"Dora," he interjects, eyebrows tightly knit together. "What are you asking?"

I take another, shaky, deep breath. "I want to see you transform."

This simple statement hangs in the air like a foul odor as Remus returns my unsure stare. I sigh, breaking eye contact and going back to playing with his hand, nervous.

"It's okay if you don't want-"

"Dora, calm down," he says, chuckling at my anxiety. "I'm not mad."

"You're not?" I reply, sighing in relief. "I just thought-"

"You're rambling," he says, the cutest smirk plastered across his face.

I break a smile. "I know."

He leans over and kisses my forehead, his lips lingering there before he speaks again. "I see where you're coming from."

"But…?"

"But… I just don't see how that can be safe or-"

"I've thought about it!" I interrupt, the genius of my plan showing. "I can use James's invisibility cloak, and as soon as the transformation starts, I can leave. I'll be safe, Remus. I can use my head. I _am_ going to be an Auror after all."

He considers this for a moment, weighing the options in his head. "I just don't know how anything like that can be safe."

"I'll be safe, Remus," I assure him, squeezing his hand tightly. "I really want this."

He looks into my puppy-dog eyes and sighs in defeat. "Damn you with your irresistible expressions."

I smile triumphantly, snaking my hands around his neck and laying my head on his chest. "Thank you, thank you so much, Remus."

"You know I still don't like this idea," he mutters. I chuckle playfully.

"I know you don't, and I'll respect that," I say, looking up at him through my lashes. "I'll be one hundred perfect careful. As careful as I can be. I promise."

"For sure?"

"For sure."

"Alright then," he sighs, laying his head back into his pillow. "Now I'm tired. We can talk the logistics of this over later. Get some rest, Dora."

"I love you," I whisper, kissing his neck softly before finally nuzzling my head into his chest.

"Love you more."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_There comes a time in your life when you finally realize that it isn't fair. Absolutely _nothing _is fair in life, and never will be. There will always be some opposing force behind every disappointment, every setback, and every lost opportunity. Sometimes, it seems as if some higher power is trying to target you individually, and make your life a living hell for whatever reason. Sometimes it seems unfathomable when you look at the number of bad things in a person's life, and it's even more unfathomable when it's _your_ life._

_There also comes a time in your life when you become mature enough to realize that all these misfortunes play out to help you in the end. Whether it be to make you stronger, or smarter, or to show you how to be humble, or to understand what it feels like to have absolutely nothing, you can only grow from there. It takes a special kind of maturity to reach this point, and I can tell you from experience that it's a climb. But when you reach the top, the view is amazing. Life seems more manageable, more clear, and you realize that it isn't so bad after all. Even after all the unfairness that was dealt to you, there's always a reason to smile._

_For me, this realization didn't happen for many years. I lived a good part of my life moping in my misery, thinking "_woe is me" _just because of what happened. I hadn't finished my climb yet. I was lost, lonely, and scared on this treacherous journey where there seemed to be no beautiful things, like laughter and happiness. Now, I know that, even with this terrible misfortune, you can still pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and say "It happened for a reason, and I'm glad it did."_

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The last five days of our Hogwarts career zips by. Between caring for Remus, packing up the dorm for good, and helping the others prepare for the ball by going dress shopping and helping the boys pick out flowers, I was incredibly busy, and when you're busy, time just flies. I don't remember how it happened, but suddenly, we found ourselves on our last day of school. Ever.

That morning was a frantic one, filled with rushing around finding pieces of the girl's outfits, helping with hair and make-up, and helping Remus in any way I could, although there wasn't much I could do. Butterflies filled my stomach and made me uneasy over the plans for that night. We had run it over with James and the others a few nights before, and they seemed to be all for it. Although, they might have just said that because they were so blinded by anger. Apparently, Filch had _finally_ won the seven-year long battle and caught the boys with the Marauder's Map earlier that evening, and they were plotting on how to get it back. Unfortunately, none of their "fool-proof" plans worked out, and I was starting to doubt their support of the plan.

After lunch, as I was helping Lily curl her hair, the severity of the situation finally hit me, and the others had to ask me if I was okay for I had just kind of drifted off with a glazed look, all the horrible possibilities filling my head with dread and my stomach with more butterflies. I told them I was fine and continued to aid in any way I could, although the reality was finally hitting me hard. I had to tell myself that this was definitely something I wanted a million times in my head before I convinced myself not to back out. I had to do this.

Evening arrives even faster than the past week had, and I spend it lounging with Remus on the couch and watching the other students parade around in their lovely dresses and charming tuxes. James's cloak was skillfully tucked under a cushion of the couch so no one would accidentally happen upon it. Remus slept most of the time, his face paler than I had seen it in a while. I think he was nervous about our plan, too.

"There you are!" Sirius calls, strutting over in his best robes, his hair perfectly styled, as always. "How do I look?"

"Wonderful, Sirius," I mutter, chuckling at his self-adoration. "Where's the others? Aren't you always last?"

"Usually," he says, winking at me. "They're right behind me."

"Talking about me?" James says, wrapping his arm around Sirius's shoulder in a brotherly way. "Hope it's not bad."

"It's always bad, Prongs," Sirius chuckles, taking his arm and shoving it off him. "If someone's talking about you, just assume it's bad."

"Shut it, Padfoot. I wouldn't be talking."

They start to playfully bicker as they always do, Peter hanging on the edges with a single rose in his hand, for Peter had gotten himself a date this year. She was a girl from Hufflepuff named Diana, and she was… well different. Peter was different, too, so I guess they were perfect for each other. I was just glad he finally got a date, and didn't have to go stag while all his friends had partners.

Moments later, the three girls arrive, and I can't keep the biggest smile off my face as I wake Remus. Lily comes first, bearing her most spectacular gown yet, followed by Lydia, who was going with a boy from Ravenclaw. May brings up the rear, wearing a huge, frilly pink gown and a necklace that belonged to Scarlet. When Sirius sees her, his face kind of gets sad, and he looks away really quick. I think they all looked fantastic, and I can't help but jump up and greet them with as much enthusiasm as I can muster.

"You all look _amazing_! Goddesses, princesses, anything like that… Wow. I'm so happy for you guys."

Lily brings it in for a group hug between us girls, then we separate after a few _thank you!_s. Lily saunters over to James, and he looks as though Christmas had come early. The others in the group all had to meet up with their dates down at the ball, so it was time for the _have fun_!s and the _goodbye!s_ from me and Remus. We watched them walk away, so happy and excited, before we settled back down on the couch. It was then that the butterflies returned.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Two hours later, Madam Pomfrey comes to receive Remus, as always.

"Last time I'll ever have to do this, huh?" she comments as she helps him up. He nods, looking somber. After he's gained his balance, he takes a moment to grab her forearm and look her directly in the eye before muttering, "Thank you. So much. For everything. You were a life-saver." She looks very flustered and accepts the compliment with bright red cheeks.

I was told to wait until they were out of the portrait hole to dawn the cloak. Thankfully, the common room was cleared out, and I only had to wait a few seconds before I stood up and the threw the silky, watery fabric over my head. By this time, I was more than a bundle of nerves, and my hands were shaking and sweating. I take a moment to glance around the common room subconsciously, and I wish I would've known that was the last time I would ever see it.

I wait a few more seconds for good measure before I slowly creep out the portrait hole and down the corridor. When I make the first bend, I find them halfway down it, and make sure to keep a good distance between us as to not hear my footsteps.

This was the worst walk of my life for several reasons. For one, I hated having to be so quiet. Me, this loud, bubbly, enthusiastic ball of energy trying to be quiet was proving to be very difficult. My nerves also got worse on this walk, just because it took so long and I had so much time to think. My feet were sweaty, and my fingers were incessantly twitching. My heart was in my throat and my breathing was shallow and quick.

When we reach the Entrance Hall, I feel a tiny bit of relief, but I feel even better when we finally reach the Willow. It stands, looming through the darkness, this huge, wild, moving thing, and to a person who's already on edge as much as I am, the sight of it doesn't bring comfort. But the idea does, for it means the worst walk of my life was over, and I was finally about to face my fears.

I watch as Madam Pomfrey sends Remus down and wishes him a final _good luck._ As they're talking, I sneak over and lower myself into the tunnel behind Remus. I brush up against him to let him know I was there, and wait for their conversation to be over.

"Look at the time, Remus!" she exclaims, glancing nervously to the sky. "You better get going!"

He nods. "Again, thank you for everything."

"You're very welcome," she smiles. "I'll see you tomorrow morning."

With that, she turns and walks away. After she's out of sight, Remus whispers to me, "Follow behind me" before turning and starting down the tunnel. At first, I was really upset because it looked as though this was going to be an extension of the worst walk of my life, yet after a while, I realized I had enough on my mind to keep me from thinking those thoughts. I had to watch for roots, uneven patches of ground, and make sure I still had Remus in my sight, and before I was even mentally ready, we were at the entrance to the Shrieking Shack. Remus turns around whispers to me again.

"Please be safe, you know I have no control in this state. Please, please, love, be careful. I love you so much."

"I love you, too," I whisper back as he slips through the door and into the old house. I creep up and sit in the crack of the door, just so I can peek through. I find him sitting in the middle of the room, his eyes closed, looking as serene as could be. I'm mesmerized by this, for I know I would be a basket case knowing what was about to happen. Again, before I'm mentally ready, the full moon rises. I was really very shocked by the speed of the whole process

It's an experience I can't even begin to describe. I know the image of Remus transforming will forever be engrained in my brain, although I desperately wish it wouldn't. Watching the love of your life writhing and twisting on the floor, while making horrible half-human half-wolf noises of pain is the worst possible thing I can ever begin to describe.

My first mistake is that I shift my foot so the door swings open a little more. I'm too preoccupied on what was happening inside the house that I don't notice. My second is taking a step back to be more balanced, while, unknowingly, my foot now rests on the back of the cloak.

At the end of the transformation, I'm in total awe of the fully-grown werewolf standing in front of me. I stare blankly at the beautifully lethal creature. It canters around, tearing at furniture and at itself. I then make my third and final mistake.

I gasp. I don't mean to do it, but it slips out and I almost gasp again. The wolf's perfect hearing picks up on this, and turns it head in my direction. It looks curious, it's ears twitching as though trying to confirm it had heard something, for there was nothing there. My heart stops. I know I have to get out of there, and now. I start to stand, and that's where it all goes downhill.

The cloak slips, for it was stuck on my foot. I now stand bare and defenseless in front of a fully-grown werewolf. There isn't even enough time to register what was going on before it happens. The wolf lunges, and I make an effort to close the door with my right arm, my left gathering the cloak. Unfortunately, the wolf is too smart to let this stop him, and before I can get the door closed, I feel the sharpest pain I've ever felt in my entire life rip down my right side. I scream, and finally manage to shut the door. I grab the invisibility cloak and run like I've never ran before.

Tears fill my eyes as I sob, my vision impaired by darkness. I awkwardly run doubled over down the tunnel, occasionally tripping over a root. The burning sensation was incredible, and the pain was starting to impact my mental capacity. I saw stars, and knew I would be passing out soon, so that motivated me to run even faster because I knew I would never be safe until I got out of the tunnel.

I feel the cool night air hit my face, and relief washes over me. I know I have to get back to the castle, so I take a moment to think before I start running up the slope. Black dots start to invade my vision along with tears, and I feel light headed. I have the cloak wrapped around me so I don't loose it as I stumble from right to left up the hill, not making any progress. I start to hallucinate, James and Sirius holding the wolf on a leash to my right, their faces twisted into evil grins. I look away, and to my left, I see the wolf now closing in on my family, Aaron looking over at me and screaming that it was my fault. I cry out for the wolf to stop, but it won't… I look away again, and darkness takes my vision away completely.

Finally, with a thud, I fall to the ground. My last thought before I black out is of Remus.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

So…. There it is. I don't know what to say. It's over. Well, part one is over! Weird!

How did you guys like it?! Please review! Also, if you've been here since the beginning, leave me a little comment, just to let me know. (:

Also, the name of part two is literally "I Love You More Than Myself Part Two" and this will be renamed to Part One. I have chapter one of part two posted, so go check it out!

I LOVE YOU ALL! Thanks for a great 90 chapters! (:

xoxo

~AnM XD

Ps. I got some horrible news the other day. My dad, who's 61, is starting to loose his memory. It's not Alzheimer's, thank God, but it is impacting him. It's caused by the part of his brain called the frontal lobe shrinking. He's going to be put on medication, and he's also taking disability from work. Have any of you ever dealt with anything like this before? Maybe a loved one had it? If you have, or you know anything about this condition, PLEASE leave me a comment or PM me with any details or tips you might have. I just need some comfort. My dad is SO important to me, and I'm really scared I'm going to loose him. So please, if you know ANYTHING or just want to reach out a helping hand, please contact me. It would mean the world. Thanks. (:


End file.
